Winnie and I tucked ourselves into cots by the couches that night. There was only one, so we had to share. We didn't mind, however, as we'd been sleeping together for a long time. Some nights, Winnie would get scared, and come running to my bed. Nightmares and fights, she'd come to me. Never thunderstorms, though, Winnie loved those. Every night, Winnie would make the same request she was making tonight as she cuddled up close to me, our noses touching.
"Willow, sing the song."
"It's an ugly song, Win." I sighed. "I don't know why you like it so much."
"It's beautiful when you sing it; please, Will." She said, and I could tell by her voice that she was homesick.
"She went upstairs to make her bed
And not a word to her mother said
Her mother, she went upstairs too said
'Daughter, oh daughter, what's troubling you?'
Oh mother, I cannot tell
That railroad boy that I love so well
He courted me, my life away
And now at home will no longer stay
There's a place in London town
Where the railroad boy goes and sits down
Takes a strange girl on his knee
Says things to her he won't say to me
Her father, he came home from work, said
'Where's my daughter, what's troubling her?'
He went upstairs to give her hope
Found her hanging by a rope
He took his knife, cut her down
And on her bosom these words were found
Oh dig my grave both wide and deep, place
A marble stone at my head and feet
And on my breast place a white snow dove
Won't you tell the world that I died for love
To tell the world I died of love
Tell the world that I died for love
Wont you tell the world that I died for love."
Winnie was out before the song was finished, but I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was Winnie's adoration for the song, a song that spoke about dying for love. How ironic, then, was it that she would never die, if what the Tucks said was true? Then again, even if it wasn't, I wasn't planning on testing it anytime soon. I rolled over in my sleep, not wanting to look at her. Her face would forever haunt me, I had gotten her into this.
Who had encouraged her to play with the boys at the market, who walked around the house speaking of things girls shouldn't know about? If I hadn't come, Winnie would still be as innocent as ever, and boarding school would still be a lifeless threat. I had dug her grave by coming to Treegap.
I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, and, in a rage, jumped up.
"Miles!" I said in a whisper scream, hoisting myself up to the loft. "Where's my cousin?!"
"How the hell would I know, Willow." He groaned, rolling over.
"Is Jesse gone too? I bet they're together."
"I want to talk to you, then, Willow." Miles said, sitting up quietly. "Get dressed, I'll meet you down there."
With a moan, I worked my way down the ladder, dressing quickly and forgetting the corset entirely. I never wore the thing, not unless Mrs. Foster forced me into it.
"If your brother gets my cousin pregnant, I swear!"
"She's fifteen, Willow!" Miles said, his mouth agape as they left the house.
"You say that like it's so young! She'll be fifteen forever Miles, she'll never die."
"Speaking of death, I heard you singing last night."
"I didn't mean to disturb anyone."
"It was beautiful, Willow. What was it?"
"The Railroad Boy, my mother used to sing it to me. I taught it to Winnie when I first came here, and she's taken a liking to it. I don't know why, it's such a sad song..."
"My wife used to sing it." Miles said. "To our daughter, Anna."
"That's...awful." I laughed.
"You're absolutely right!" Miles grinned at me, laughing uncontrollably. "It's a nice tune, but such ugly words. It ends in death, for Christ's sake!"
"Everything ends with death." I said somberly, before remembering where I was and what was going on around me.
"Not everything," He said bitterly. "I have yet to meet that fate."
"And when you do, will it be a relief?" I said intently, watching the ground not because I was insecure, but because I wasn't sure where I was walking. I let Miles walk ahead of me, leading the way. He didn't look back at me when I spoke, and I was alright with that.
"I've seen good men die, Willow, I've seen people I love walk out of my life permanently. Death will be a great relief."
"Winnie will return to Treegap in her time, I'm sure, but I don't think I will." I smiled, looking at everything that surrounded me.
"Why do you say that?"
"Winnie is a girl, Miles. She gets her wants and her needs and her wishes confused. She thinks all love ends in death-Romeo and Juliet, Othello, The Illiad-but her's may not. Death is a fear she has overcome, a fear that binds everyone to ignorance. When she discovers what the water did to her, she'll be thrilled-scared, but thrilled. When, and if, she chooses to leave you, I'm sure it'll be for Treegap. And I can tell you right now I won't be beside her. Treegap is her home, not mine."
"Where is your home, then, Willow?"
"My home was New York City, but I'm on the market for a new one."
"Why not Treegap?"
"Too tiny," I smiled at him. "I want somewhere where the air is black with smoke and the buildings block out the sun."
"You look like a big city girl,"
"I'm glad."