SONS AND LOVERS-as nothing is as it seems...

chapter 3 part 1

by Stands With A Fic - Camima

When Andy arrived in the morning, Sharon was already in her office, talking on the phone. Lifting her free hand, she wiggled her fingers slightly, waving at him as he entered the murder room. He tilted his head, curving his lips as he nodded his head once. The look on her face told him that the person she was talking to had captured all of her attention once more. She looked away and turned, giving her back to him with one hand on her hip. Leaning slightly to the side, her leg bore the weight of her body, while the other slightly stretched away from her body. His eyes smiled, lingering on her hair, back and bottom, then glancing towards the backs of her knees, calves and ankles and he let out an appreciative sigh. Provenza watched him and shook his head disbelievingly.

Sharon went to the door, opened it and left her office, walking down the corridor leading to the break room. A huge smile spread over her lips as Andy heard her say "Oh my! I'm so happy...I didn't expect you to come." her voice controlled but barely concealing excitement. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, she was passing by and he just happened to hear her words - but her words had ignited his mind. Who was the person she was talking to that made her so excited? He had a feeling that it wasn't just any person – it was a man. Provenza saw him stand up as though he were controlled and followed the Captain at a slower pace, attempting to pass off his curiosity as nonchalance.

The break room door was open and Sharon was pouring herself a cup of tea while giving her back to the door. Andy peered in, and then withdrew minimally, remaining there to listen and all the while thinking 'You know you shouldn't eavesdrop, Andy. You know it's damn wrong, and if she catches you - no, she doesn't even need to catch you - she will read your face. You don't have the right to do this!' Andy shook his head and turned around, ready to leave.

"Of course I'm excited!" Sharon said her voice silky and bursting with emotion. Andy's body froze as he continued to listen in. "You know how much I miss you! You are the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep."

Andy's body stiffened and he swallowed hard as she continued, "I could never forget your birthday! I wish I could forget mine, but I would never forget yours!" she giggled, her voice fond, "I'll see you tomorrow then...Oh fine, what? Oh sure, honey, of course you can sleep at the condo. Just like old times. Alright, can't wait." she added, her tone softening as she spoke. Andy felt his kick into overdrive, his stomach churning. She was clearly talking to a man! Andy's thoughts raced out of control, 'Ok so...she is a married woman and she is separated, but…does her husband still visit her? Oh my God! He does!' For the first time Andy realized that he cared if Jack visited Sharon – and actively wondered whether or not his visits extended to more than just breakfast and quarrels. Though separated, they had still been married for more than thirty years. She had told him that she was a married woman when he asked her if Nicole's wedding could be misconstrued as a date. He shook his head at the memory of his question and returned to the present dilemma. 'So she would never cheat on Jackson - unless something happened on or after his last visit. No, no she wouldn't. Well...during his last visit Jack did help her take care of Rusty – and the kid did seem to take a shine to him. I suppose it could've changed things between them. Pretty ironic when you think about it – but it's definitely him. She's seeing her husband again. Maybe they are planning a date for his birthday or something. Maybe they're going to try a fresh start…' Andy couldn't deny that he should have expected his only possible rival to be good old Jack. To think he used to like him! Now Andy wonders how he could have ever liked him.

The sound of crashing and a scream jolted Andy from his thoughts.

"Andy! You really startled me! What are you doing here?" Sharon asked, her breath heavy. She laid a hand on her chest, eyes wide open, eyebrows contracted, and her voice controlled but a little raised.

"Oh, Sharon!" Andy looked at her white blazer and skirt, wet with tea, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I-I was reaching the break room and, uh, my badge fell off my belt so I bent down to pick it up...' he put a hand against the wall besides him and looked down taking a deep breath "and...You know, I must've stood up too quickly 'cos my, uh, y'know what with my blood pressure and all." Sharon frowned in irritation before relaxing into a more concerned look, her mouth opening, eyes still wide open, and eyebrows rising with concern.

"Oh, Andy come in here. Ok, put your arm around my shoulders, like this," she put one hand on his chest the other between his shoulder blades and slowly walked them into the break room to help Andy sit down.

Tao entered the break room, looking at the smashed tea cup on the threshold. He almost jolted back at the sight of Andy sitting, his head reclined, legs outstretched and spread before him and the captain between them, leaning on him gently whilst loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Ah, Lieutenant!" Sharon drew up, awkwardness painted across her face, stretching her skirt and blazer. "Lieutenant Flynn is feeling a little dizzy and I was trying to soothe his –"Then she stopped, waving her hand before her. She wasn't doing anything wrong! "Mike would you bring Andy some water, please?" she asked, her voice and expression now kind yet steady.

As if mechanically controlled, Tao started forward to retrieve the water the Captain had asked for, and said, "I'll wipe the floor Captain," he said pointing at the debris on the threshold.

"Oh...if you don't mind - thank you Lieutenant." Sharon smiled kindly and bent over Andy to help him sip some water, "Are you still feeling dizzy Lieutenant?"

"Well..." he choked in a warm rough voice, looking into her too-close eyes, "Though those eyes of yours certainly don't help," he grinned. She pulled back a little, taking a quick breath at Andy's answer. Glancing at Tao collecting the cup pieces from the floor, she leaned forward again and looked back at Andy, her lips curved and her cheeks blushing.

"Seriously?" She looked bemused with his response, yet flattered and – surprisingly – slightly flirty.

"Better," he replied, adding with a swift look at her suit, "just sorry for your clothes." He lowered his voice slightly, eyes returning to hers, "It seems I just can't stop getting you wet lately."

Sharon jolted, blushing violently in shock before looking away. He realized the double entendre of his words idiot! His mind froze. They were alone again now.

She chose to ignore his words, "Do you think you can stand up and walk now, Lieutenant?" her voice returned to her automatically stiff tone, reminding him that she was a higher ranking officer.

"Yes," his eyes showing he had understood, "thank you, Captain. Of course," he continued, "I'll pay for the laundry."

She saw that he was really sorry, and her stare and tone softened, "that won't be necessary, Lieutenant." He was sorry that he had inadvertently been too daring and had embarrassed her. Remembering that she had a date the next day, he felt his mind aching at the thought of her in Jackson's arms. He was her friend and he should've been happy for her and her marriage, but simply he couldn't. That dope had had her for all of his life. He had taken her whole youth, her maturity, love and devotion – her body, soul, brightness, sweetness and courage– just, everything that is she. For heaven's sake, she bore his children, and Andy had always despised the fact that Jackson took Sharon for granted. Now here she was - ready to give him another chance to break her. Andy stood up, his eyes dim, "As you like, Captain," he saluted, walked by and looked away, missing her soft stare turn bitter.

Sharon entered her apartment, still feeling weird for what had happened between her and Andy earlier that day – whatever it was that had happened. She felt she had been too Pollyannaish in believing he could forget his feelings for her, to push them aside and behave easily. Sharon slipped off her shoes, took off her blazer and headed to the bathroom. She didn't want to push him to talk to her about what had happened. Checking her cellphone, she threw her blazer into the laundry basket, unzipped her skirt and let it puddle around her feet, stepping out of it before throwing it onto the blazer. She checked her cell again. Nothing. Andy had made it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with her for the moment, and while she had to respect his feelings, it hurt her.

The doorbell rang and Sharon quickly took off her top, wondering who might be. It couldn't be Rusty as he was spending the night at Tao's on a movie marathon with Mike's son and enjoying the Spring break. She fetched her robe and put it on, tying it up around her waist. The bell rang again and she ran to the door shouting, "I'm coming!" then stopped and looked into the peephole... Andy! Unaware of her lips spreading into a smile, and she attempted to regain a neutral, kind expression as she opened the door.

"Oh, hi Sharon." He glanced at her barefoot frame, clad only in a robe, with untidy hair, no glasses and a generally mussed look. Caught completely off guard, Andy couldn't help but think of just how beautiful she is.

"Hi, Andy," she stiffened when she noticed Andy checking out her body, her arms wrapping around to shield her body from his pupils, expecting him to say "sorry to bother you" or something. Instead, he cleared his throat, tilting his head to the side.

"I was just wondering if – listen, Sharon, I'm sorry"

"Andy," she said, moving aside and gesturing to let him in, trying to set him at ease with a sympathetic smile. "Come in." She watched him enter, his lips pursed, hands in his pockets, chin down. She patted his arm and closed the door. "Excuse me, Andy, but please make yourself home while I put on something more comfortable."

Andy was of the firm opinion that she shouldn't change her clothes, as she was so beautiful in the intimacy of her home and so damn fine but he also knew that that had better remain a thought if he wanted to talk to her as a friend.

Andy was sitting on her couch feeling almost like a little boy when she returned, wearing black leggings and a large pale pink sweater, her hair combed and glasses on as if ready to help him with his homework. She sat down beside him and he smiled bitterly, "I'm sorry," he said.

"I know," she replied, "I am sorry too Andy and I feel the need to apologize to you."

Andy looked at her bewildered, "Sharon! You did nothing wrong! I - I was idiotic!" he looked down at her hands, gently rubbing her quads.

"Andy, I know it's hard for you. And, I must say that if there is someone who behaved idiotically, it was me." Andy was shaking his head - he could not believe what he was hearing. Besides pretending dizziness due to his blood pressure after spying on her, of which she wasn't aware, he had caused her embarrassment and here she was apologizing to him! "I took your friendship for granted, and wanted you to set aside your feelings for me only because it would make me more comfortable – because it was convenient to me. I deliberately shut my eyes to your emotions and reactions because I didn't want to lose your friendship and I didn't want to compromise our professional relationship," she paused and took a quick breath, "I am totally to blame since I didn't behave as an actual friend should, and that is why I'm begging you to forgive me." She looked at him then, her eyes intense as she meant every single word she spoke.

He looked at her, smiling but stunned, "you are not forgiven, Sharon, because there is nothing I have to forgive you for," he paused, truly looking at her, and seeing the outer beauty which suited her inner beauty completely and made it shine more. His stare turned heavy, "Sharon, there are so many things you don't know about me..."

"Then tell me," she replied softly, her inner voice warning her not to push him too far, "But only if you want to. I just, I want you to know I am here for you, Andy," she said her voice so tense and warm.

"I know, and so am I, Sharon," he smiled at her sincerely, "Oh come here!" he said, his eyes shining. He pulled her against his chest, leaning towards her. They remained there for a long time, in silence. His arms wrapped around her, rubbing her back sweetly. Her body huddled against his, her arms against his chest and her head on his shoulder. The feel of her against him was perfect.