SONS AND LOVERS chapter 3 part 2
by Stands With A Fic - Camima
The following morning Andy felt much better. At least he had talked to her and they were finally okay again. He didn't sleep very well at the thought of her husband returning to see her, but he had tried to focus on her and her only, resolving to take it one step at the time so as to live as peacefully as possible. He was about to knock on Sharon's office door, holding a cup of tea for her, when he noticed that the blinds were closed.
As the door opened in front of him, he heard, "Really, Sharon, he's such a handsome young man! Congrats! And such a gentleman, too. He only had eyes for you, and anyone can see how much he must have missed you. Well, I'm sorry, but I've really got to go now! Enjoy your dinner and whatever else you're doing tonight! Bye, Sharon!"
"Bye, Erika, and thanks for the lovely brunch!" replied Sharon fondly.
The door opened and a woman in her mid-sixties, white short hair, blue piercing eyes came out. Andy was in shock, his mouth agape. Though frozen at first, his mind had been ignited by the words he had just heard, now echoing incessantly in his mind – "handsome young man…missing her…his eyes only for her…dinner?!"
"Oh, good morning, Lieutenant Flynn," said the woman closing the door, "Are you alright?" she asked, looking at Andy's bewildered expression.
"G-good morning, Judge Spencer. I'm, uh, perfect – yeah." Andy grimaced at his poorly constructed reply. "Very well, Good-bye then," she added, and strode away.
"Good-bye."
Andy raised a hand to his head, running his fingers roughly through his hair. The door opened again, and Sharon jolted backwards in surprise, "Andy!" Her previously huge smile faded into a frown, "Oh, hello, Andy. What can I do for you?"
Andy shook his head and replied, "Nothing. I was just – ehm, for you," handing her the cup with a jerk. Sharon took it as if grabbing a baseball ball thrown into her lap and looked up at him, taken aback "Andy...are you alright?"
"Hmm? Yeah, nice of you to ask," he shot back with barely suppressed scorn. His voice had become high-pitched, and his shocked expression was replaced by his hardly concealed anger. Sharon's eyes closed and remained closed for a long instant before taking a deep breath, sensing that she was once more the cause of Andy's decidedly odd behavior. She opened her eyes slowly and motioned for Andy to enter her office, "Andy, come on in please."
Andy entered her office, his mind split by two warring voices ringing in his mind. Thoughts of her in the arms of another man – screwing another man – fought with thoughts of attempting to be a good friend to Sharon, of respecting the fact that she has been good to him and deserves more than his ire. Swirling in his thoughts, the idea that Sharon lied to him remains strong – despite the fact that he knows that he should trust her, because she isn't just any woman. She's his Sharon, and she wouldn't just lie to him. Would she? "Andy?" her voice pierced through his madness, "would you sit down please?"
He sat down before her desk, watching as she sat on the chair besides him, hands on knees, and elbows on her quads, leaning towards him.
"Alright, alright!" Andy said with a raised voice, trying to silence the voices in his mind.
Throwing his hands away from his body, Sharon looked at him in concern, eyes wide open. She jolted back slightly, her hands palm up and away from her, giving him her palms, her thumbs joined. Andy made a resolution, a plan to discover more -he was a detective, so he should know how to ask the right questions to obtain the information he needed to know. But she was a Captain - his Captain - and besides, being acquainted with his interrogation methods, she was not easy to fool. "I really enjoyed your company last night, Sharon," he looked at her grinning.
She showed surprise, as though she wasn't expecting to hear him say so in that very moment. She relaxed and smiled back "oh...as did I, Andy."
"Then what about having dinner, together, tonight?" he asked with an awkward, guilty grin.
"Oh, well, actually I'm busy,"' she said, pressing her lips together.
Inside of him, the voices continued raging – pressing him to continue pushing her, and warning him to stop.
"Oh, ok, then," he replied, standing up. "I've gotta go back to work now."
Sharon looked up at him taken aback, as she didn't expect him to leave her so soon after entering her office, and she wondered what was eating at him. He looked down, surprised at the sight of her disappointed expression. He felt idiotic and mean. Internally, Andy berated himself for damaging the mild – and thus far, peaceful – relationship that they had stared. He was about to sit down again and apologize for everything he had done, not really knowing what to say. Anything to ease her disappointment in him. But Sharon stood up, schooling her face into a kind smile before replying slowly, "Well, in that case, I certainly won't keep you."
She yanked her skirt and blazer downwards sharply at hearing her own voice shake when she said keep you. His heart sank, and he saluted her before striding out of her office. She tiptoed to the blinds, opening them discreetly as her eyes followed him on the way back to his desk. Something was wrong with him again, and she sensed that she was once again the cause. Taking a deep breath and letting it gush out, she came to the realization that yes, there was a problem once more. Staring at him steadily, the sight of his back turned stiffly towards her hurt more than she ever thought it would.
Sharon had planned to leave Major Crimes earlier that evening to get ready for her date comfortably. However, she was also very aware of the unpredictable issues linked to the nature of her job and rank, thus she had arranged also a b-plan. As she collected her bag and folders ready to leave, Chief Taylor entered her office, tapping the open door. "Captain, I'm afraid you'll have to put off your plans for now."
Sharon looked up at him, sighing slightly, "What can I do for you Chief?" she smiled and shook her head.
"Chief Pope demands your presence at the LAPD Annual Meeting that will take place next Thursday evening in the Conference Hall," he informed her, sitting on the chair facing her desk.
"Oh...?" Sharon tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing, "This is the first time my presence has ever been required at an Annual Meeting." Sharon licked her upper lip, pressed her lips together and then took a deep breath, "May I ask what led Chief Pope to require my presence this year?" Sharon's eyebrows arched her eyes wide, and her voice adopting a falsely pleasant tone that dared Chief Taylor to pull the other one.
'Well...Chief Pope wishes to – ah - give you credit, officially, for your talent and ability and for the competence and self-abnegation that have characterized your work during your long, long career."
"Another long and I might feel the urge to retire, Chief," Sharon said, nodding once, her lips spread in a light smile and her eyes suspicious, "oh, excuse me, please go on."
"Well, you joined the LAPD when very, very young, Captain," Chief Taylor clarified quickly.
"Chief, please, I didn't mean to suggest that you should keep talking about my age..." she said, amused at Taylor's awkwardness.
"Captain, Chief Pope is enthusiastic about the amount of money saved this year thanks to your ability and professionalism with regards to deal-making – not to mention your closure rate. Under your lead Major Crimes has overtaken Chief Johnson's rate, and moreover no one, not a single officer, has ever been reported to FID since you arrived. Not least, not a single legal action has been taken against the LAPD since you took the reins." She expected that Taylor wanted to say far more, but so far he was more preoccupied with staring at his knees. It took him a while before he continued, "And… you are a woman. Your presence would be of great inspiration for all the women in and out the Police Force! It's the LAPD's wish to show their effort to give women equal opportunities." Sharon rolled her eyes, and he concluded, looking up at her, "These are the reasons why your presence is required."
Sharon didn't speak immediately, "Chief, please inform Chief Pope that I will be going, regardless-"
"Very well, Captain," Taylor interrupted, standing up, rubbing the palms of his hands with a sly grin. "Provided, that," Sharon raised her voice slightly to quieten Taylor, "all of my subordinate officers and colleagues here receive the same credit I will."
"Captain, you are the head of this department - you are the mind-" Taylor blinked repeatedly.
"I wouldn't be able to satisfy LAPD and Chief Pope's expectations without the precious professional and personal contribution that every Lieutenant, detective and professional of this department brings to our cases. Not to mention their sacrifice and deep humanity," she said, her voice strong and resolute and her eyes fixated on Taylor's face, showing him that she would not back down. Taylor stood up and reached the door, "I will inform Chief Pope, Captain, and I will let you know, good night."
"Thank you, Chief, and I appreciate it. Good night."
Sharon let out a deep breath, looked at her watch and snorted, rolling her eyes: b-plan. She rushed to her coat hanger and reached for the garment bag, darting to lock the door. Provenza noticed her hurry and was already throwing suspicious glances at her door – had been since Taylor had knocked on it. He noticed Andy noticing too but had, as yet, avoided looking at her. Sharon glanced at Andy's back and closed the blinds, shooting a small smile at Provenza's raised eyebrows.
The door of her office opened, and Provenza and Tao automatically lifted their eyes at the sound of her heels tapping the floor. Their jaws dropped. Provenza looked at Tao, his lips pressed together, bottom lip curved downwards and protruding slightly, his eyebrows arched. He nodded his head once after tossing his chin at the Captain. Sanchez turned, his dim, wild stare suddenly betraying amazement as his breath caught for an instant. Sharon walked into the murder room with a hand in her bag, fingering its contents to find her car keys. She was carrying some folders under one arm, her trench-coat and garment bag on the same arm, hand clutching her bag. Provenza noticed her eyes glancing at Andy's empty chair as Sanchez darted towards her, "Madame," he said chivalrously, taking Sharon's folders, garment bag and trench-coat, "let me help you."
Sharon looked at him with gratitude, and smiled kindly, "Thank you, Lieutenant."
"You look beautiful," Julio added in a low voice, perfectly audible to everybody around before clearing his throat. Sharon's head tilted towards Sanchez, as she had not been addressed that way in so long, and had certainly not expected the compliment from Sanchez.
She blushed and replied, "Thank you, Julio," smiling softly.
Andy entered the room with a folder in his hand, checking his cellphone in the other. He casually glanced in her direction. Then he stopped – his heart stopping at the same time. His jaw dropped, struck by the auburn hair tumbling to the middle of her back. She was wearing a plain black cocktail dress, with a knee-length skirt that left her heavenly legs uncovered. Her never-ending, finely shaped legs naked, but with thin and glittering black lace twisting around her ankles in gorgeous lace pumps. The dress clung to her thin yet curvaceous body, the beautiful shape of her bottom distinguishable beneath the sheer black material. The sleeves were up to her elbows, leaving her forearms uncovered. Andy's veritable tornado of emotions irradiated from the core of his chest into his throat and in his lungs, lingering in his stomach. His groin ached. Sharon turned to him, feeling his stare. A huge smile spread across her lips at the sight of him. Liquid fire ignited his lower abdomen as he was treated to the sight of her creamy breast, framed by the plunging neckline of her dress. He wanted her so badly, and knew with a desperate anguish that he could not have her.
After she left, escorted by Sanchez, Provenza mimicked Julio blithely, and Tao's chuckle was briskly cut out by Sanchez's surly glare.
"Thank you all for your great work! See you tomorrow. Good night!"
After everybody left, Provenza's invitation for a drink rejected, Andy entered her office in a miserable mood. The more he tried not to think of her the less he succeeded. He just couldn't shake thoughts of her from his mind, body and soul. Moreover, the thought of her dining with another man hurt him - but the thought of her entering her apartment with him, his hands and lips on her - was driving him insane. Internally, Andy knew that he was being selfish. Sharon deserved more than what he could offer – she deserved to be courted, loved and held tightly by a real man. Andy reached her chair and went down on his knees - he could smell her scent, and breathed in appreciatively. He caressed her seat, and then sat on her chair, leaning back into it. He took a deep breath and looked around, noticing a bunch of white roses by the window with a little card among them. He hesitated, then leaned forward and picked up the card: To the most gorgeous woman and Captain in LAPD You will always be my only one, forever yours, R.
Andy felt sick. He hurriedly returned the card to its place before looking out at the LA skyline, as though searching for her. She was somewhere outside there in company of R, certainly not sparing one thought on him, who was sitting in her chair consumed by the thought of her. Distraught, he stood suddenly and strode away – anything to shake himself of her.
He didn't know how he arrived there, waiting for her in front of her own condo. It was useless and desperate, and it wouldn't help at all, but he had to see her with him. To see if she was happy, and if he really was in love with her, mister R- young handsome man- forever hers. He didn't even know if she still was out or already home! He recalled the sight of her in the murder room, classily dressed and smiling sexily at him. He looked at his watch: 8:23 pm. He checked his cellphone. No texts. He hadn't even acknowledged her properly; he had just waved at her, pretending to be on the phone. He had noticed her slight disappointment. But then she had cheerfully said goodbye and left.
What Andy didn't know was that she had felt very sorry for him and very disappointed at seeing him busy on the phone. He didn't know how much it cost her to conceal her feelings from him. Her husband and her job at FID had taught her well. She had learned to hide her feelings and emotions very well when circumstances dictated - when it was necessary to protect herself and her children. She had been alone for all of her life, and had learned to be a loner despite her own nature, but for the safety of her children. She had taken the life she hadn't chosen - the life that had slapped her in the face - and had tried to take all she could get from it. She had accepted compromises and deals, bending but not breaking and never, never betraying herself and her beliefs once. That was the only price she would not pay. Her faith had supported her too. Real, inner Sharon had always been at the core of the Captain Raydor façade - of Jack's wife, of doting mother.
What Andy didn't know was that she was thinking of him, checking her cellphone often even though she was having a very lovely night. She had started composing a text to him a couple of times while her young man was busy on his cell. Although Sharon couldn't figure out why, each time she attempted to send the message, it was deleted without a second thought.
It was 9:02pm when Sharon finally arrived, walking from her car to her condo hand in hand with R, her giggles audible as he tickles her waist. Hugging her, he placed a kiss on her forehead, lifting her completely from the ground so that not even her toes touch. Returning her to the ground, she stops with a palm against her forehead whilst he bends towards her. She opened her purse and handed him her car keys. Running to it, he clicked it open, collecting her bag, folders and trench coat all at once before throwing his free arm around her shoulders and steering them towards the condo. Andy's mind and heart ached. He felt his phone buzz, Provenza's name lighting up his screen, but he steadfastly ignored it. Starting his car, he drove away to yet another sleepless night. Upon arriving home, he sat on the couch, leaning heavily over his coffee table. Frustrated, he punched it fiercely, but to his disappointment, it didn't hurt as much as he needed it to – to distract him from thoughts of her. Leaning back, Andy reclined his head, slumping as a hiss groaned out of him and became fully-fledged sobbing.
Andy woke up, with a start, "Ouch…" he mumbled, back aching. He had cried himself to sleep, his body sliding down the sofa out of exhaustion. At his age, he now paid the price for his night on the sofa as his back seared with every movement. He looked up at his watch, his eyes narrowing as the morning light penetrated his vision, "9:08!" he forgot his back and jolted from the sofa before yelling, "Ouch!", his back aching. "Oh, shit!" he rolled himself off the couch and fell on his knees groaning in pain as he massaged his lower back. He grabbed his cell: 12 missed calls and 4 texts, all from Provenza. It was already too late - he had no time to read them, and besides which, he could easily figure out their content.
He called Provenza and instantly received a reply, "Where the hell are you? The Captain was about to send Sanchez to see if you had fainted or died in your bed!"
"Alright, tell her I'm coming okay? I just had a little accident last night..."
"Oh-ho-ho, was it a blonde or brunette accident?" Andy could see Provenza's Cheshire grin spreading across his face.
"Neither! It was an accident, and I've got a stiff back to prove it!"
"Good Lord, Flynn! You're not kidding, are you? That's pathetic! At this rate, we're going to be the geriatric department!"
"Listen, I'm coming. I'll be right there ok? Tell HER!" Andy bellowed as he hung up.
Andy entered the murder room, walking at a slower pace than usual. Observing his movements, Provenza shook his head whilst Tao and Sanchez grinned. Andy shook his head in irritation at his team-mates' antics. The blinds were shut. Buzz came out of the Captain's office and found Flynn trying to lower himself into his chair, his face contracting in barely concealed agony.
"Oh? What, is it pandemic?" Buzz said, looking at Tao and Sanchez, as Provenza shook his head with a frown, puzzled by Buzz's words. Sharon entered the murder room slowly, a hand braced against the wall (supporting her body) and the other clenched around her lower back. Provenza's eyes widened, his eyebrows almost reaching his hairline. Tao and Sanchez plunged towards their desks, suddenly remembering that they had work to do. Andy turned to Provenza, grimacing and throwing a hand out, its palm up. Provenza's Cheshire grin made another appearance, promptly vanishing under his usual grumpy mask as the Captain turned to him.
"Uh, Captain, can I do something for you?" Provenza asked, standing up and giving her his arm.
"Oh, thank you, Lieutenant. It's silly, I can never seem to remember that time has passed for me, either. Then, an abrupt movement, a cool draft and your body reminds you immediately."
"Well, thank Heavens I don't know what you're talking about, Captain!" he said, mock affronted. She looked at him with arched eyebrows, her lips curving in expectation of some sort of stunt. "I'm too lazy for abrupt movements, and cool drafts on my skin are just a faded memory." He blinked, and then smiled at her high pitched giggles, her eyebrows furrowing at the ache in her back. She pressed her lips together, shaking her head at him.
"Good morning, Andy," she said, turning to him.
"Captain," he replied with a nod of his head, glancing at her, then looking away to the folder in front of him again. Her hopes for a warmer greeting were dashed. Andy felt his heart raging in his chest at the thought of the abrupt movements Sharon had been making all night with R. Sure, he was a real gentleman – exposing her hot, naked body to the cool air, sweat drying on her skin in a post orgasmic chill. The sensible side of him battled to control his thoughts, berating him for thinking about what Sharon may have been doing the night before.
"Andy," He turned to her, his eyebrows raised, "might we have a word please?" she said, her hands thrown outwards to indicate the door of her office. He nodded once, lips pressed together. He groaned in pain as he moved to get up, and fell back into his chair instead.
"Andy!"
"Don't worry, Captain," Provenza said slowly, setting his arm free from her grip and reaching over to Andy, helping him stand, "it seems you are not the only one who had a little accident resulting in back injury last night." Provenza hesitated, but continued daringly. Sharon couldn't help giggling. Provenza escorted them to her office and as they sat down in the chairs in front of her desk, he said, "I hope I can leave you alone you two," pretending to refer to their backs only. Sharon blushed in spite of her and Andy threw a hand at him but Provenza had already left and shut the door.
"So, how did you...?" Sharon muffled a new urge to giggle.
"I just slept in an odd position," Andy answered, relief coloring his tone at the sight of Sharon muffling the urge to laugh, eyes shining. A grin surfaced on his lips, she was so beautiful and funny. "uh, what about you?" he dared.
"Oh, well, as you know, yesterday night I was busy," Andy glanced at the roses behind her and felt his stomach wriggle, "I was so excited, and had such a lovely night, that I just didn't think of wearing my trench-coat for the after dinner walk."
Andy wondered why she was telling him about it all - was she about to tell him about the young man, too? He was her friend, and that's something she might be willing to confide in her friend, Andy. As for his feelings for her, she was aware of them and she was too sensitive and sensible to tell him about her young lover.
'So, you had a lovely night?" Andy grinned, his stomach aching
"Oh yes, Ricky hasn't come to see me since Christmas, 2009!"
"Ricky?" Inside, Andy's gut churned.
"Yes, my son, Richard! He's come to meet Rusty! And we had a wonderful time together," she said shining. Andy's happiness at this revelation was overwhelming, as though he were a surfer, riding the vast waves of the ocean.
His eyes lit up, "Oh, wow Sharon, that's great! Why didn't you tell me?!" he almost scolded her.
"Oh, well, I just saw you so tense yesterday and I couldn't keep you company and I guess I – I just preferred to leave it out," Sharon said, feeling sorry at the thought of Andy alone. "However, Ricky and I had dinner out and then we met Rusty for dessert. You know, it was Ricky's birthday and Rusty wanted to give us room, just for the two of us," she smiled fondly, then frowned looking at Andy, his eyes suddenly dim.
Andy reached for her hand sighing, his eyes closed for an instant his lower lip trembling "I'm sorry, Sharon." "What for?" she smiled, her eyes open wide.
"I -I'm afraid I can't," he choked, "I tried, but this is too hard for me." His eyes darkened, as her eyes remained wide. In one breath, she swallowed her breath with Andy's next statement, "I can't be your friend." He finished, voice uneven under the burden of sudden awareness.