(Book completed with as much information as possible,January 5, 2017)

The Ultimate Baby Journal

Baby's Name: ...Camille Amala Lahiri-Castellano...

Due Date:...January 12th, 2017...

Date of Birth:...

Weight:...

Length:...

Hair Color:...

Eye Color:...

All About Mommy

Mommy's full name:..Mindy Kuhel Lahiri...

Birthday:...June 24, 1979...

Hometown:...Concord, Massachusetts... Height:...5'3"...

Color of hair:..Raven Black... Color of eyes:...Cocoa Brown...

Her favorite feature:.My favorite feature is really not appropriate for these purposes. My second favorite feature is my hands. They can remain steady under the pressures of some of the most difficult procedures while still looking flawlessly manicured.

What she hoped to be in the future:.I hoped to be the first pop star-slash-OBGYN. I've since grown up immensely and now I just hope to be a fantastic doctor and an even better wife and mother...though I should mention that I would never turn down a reality show on the Style Network.

Favorite memories of her childhood:I loved preparing your uncle Rishi for high school by telling him elaborate tales of horror, none of which were true. He was sure that he would get publicly pantsed every day around 10:45 a.m. for the entirety of his first week.

Likes and dislikes:Likes include exploring the city with your father, Gram Castellano's chicken piccata, pop music, being a fashionable doctor in Manhattan, your father's smile, and YOU. Dislikes include sunrises, healthy food, most animals, rude people, and stores that try to pass a medium-sized shirt as a XXL.

What she thought of Daddy when they first met:I thought your father was very handsome, but very grumpy and mean. This will be one of the few times that I'll whole-heartedly admit how wrong I was with a smile on my face. He might get grumpy every once in a while about NBA player trades, but never about stuff that matters.

More about Mommy:

Your mother was going to write this, but since she insisted on writing mine, it only seems fair that you hear about your mother from me.

I can't know yet all the additional ways your mom is going to be amazing once you're finally in her arms, or how much you are going to love her - and kid, you're going to love her - but I do know that you and I are both very lucky. Every day I'm stunned with my good fortune to have married her. And you've won the mom lottery. Congratulations.

Let's go back a little ways, though. This is supposed to be about how great your mom already is, not how even more amazing she's becoming. What makes her amazing? Let me tell you: She has more capacity for love and forgiveness in her heart than anyone I've ever known. Believe me that you'll be glad of that. She is never, ever boring. If she wants something, your mom will work as hard as she possibly can to get it. She's fierce and the person you want fighting in your corner.

She's as stubborn as anyone you'll ever meet. Except for maybe your father. Which is another reason we're both lucky: On those very, very rare occasions when I'm being stubborn about something and am also WRONG, it is a blessing to have someone who won't back down. You'll never win an unjust argument with her, kiddo. If the moment comes when you realize you're wrong and you've been bested, back down like the smart woman I know you'll be. Take it from your old man, it will save you so much time.

I don't want you to grow up with vanity or hubris. It's a sin and will also make you awful to be around. No matter what, you're perfect just the way you are. But it has to be said that your mom's gorgeous, and you will be too. Be humble about it.

Your mother is the most passionate person I've ever known, and I hope so much that you turn out just like her. When she loves you, it feels like standing in sunshine. You'll never have to know any other feeling than that.

No matter what I or anybody else says, I know you won't fully get this until you're much, much older, but enjoy her. You're going to be one of those lucky kids who has a cool mom who you actually enjoy being around. All while she still cares enough to kick your behind when it needs it. One day you'll realize how rare that is and how grateful you are for it.

I told you, we both hit the jackpot.

All About Daddy

Daddy's full name:...Daniel Alan Castellano...

Birthday:...August 11, 1974...

Hometown:...Staten Island, New York... Height:...5'9 1/2"...

Color of hair:..Black... Color of eyes:..Brown...

His favorite feature:..My height. You have to learn how to be tough and look out for yourself when you're short. No matter what, someone will find something about you to pick on. Don't let it hurt you or make you dislike something about who you are. It's hard, but it's a good lesson to learn, kid.

What he hoped to be in the future:..A doctor. A good dad. To be better than what I am. I still hope that! I hope to do right by you and to be a good parent and partner to your mother.

Favorite memories of his childhood:..Christmas together as a family when I was really little. Your grandma making homemade ice cream. Playing stickball in the street after school. The time my Pop, your great grandfather, took me to see my first Yankees game.

Likes and dislikes:..Likes - honesty, hard work, good music, homemade pizza, your mother.

Dislikes - laziness, ignorance, licorice, Mellencamp fans, Mets fans, Olive Garden, entitlement.

What he thought of Mommy when they first met:..I thought... Well, I thought your mother was loud and pretty. I still think that. I thought she was smarter than she looked, which is kind of mean. I wanted her to like me and at the time I wasn't sure why. Then after a while I thought she was a really great person and friend. And now I'm almost positive she likes me.

More about Daddy:

The first thing you should know about your father, little peanut, is that he hates to talk about himself. It's a strange concept for me because, as you'll soon find out, I love talking about myself. Your dad, however, is a man who'd rather show you his worth than tell you. It's the perfect summation of his character and something that I hope you watch closely and learn from. Also, it's the reason that I'm writing this section for him! If left to do it himself, it would devolve into his dream Bob Dylan concert line-up, or a rant about transit safety. It's actually very adorable, but you really should have a basic understanding of how incredibly lucky you are to have Daniel Castellano as a father.

I'll leave your dad to explain his rich growing up story to you because I could never do it justice (but ask him to lay the Staten Island accent on thick. It's better that way!). I'll also spare you the story of when we met, because the impression I gathered from him then is not at all the man he is (We were pretty mean to each other. I'd love to say that we picked on each other because we liked each other...but that's crap. Never hide your love behind teasing and mean behavior, little one. Let your friends be the dummies and you can be the evolved one). I'm just going to share with you the man he is now, because that's what's important, right?

Daddy is a man who operates in the idea of pride A LOT. This pride can sometimes stop him from asking for help - like the time during our honeymoon when he got us lost in Nassau and insisted on getting us back to the cruise port himself, even though he could have simply asked one of the locals to redirect us. He kept saying "This is my mess, I'll fix it." That's classic Daddy: "I'll do it myself." He's a very capable man - extraordinary, even - so it's no mystery as to why he constantly feels the need to take everything into his own hands.

He's especially proud of the people he loves. He doesn't like to focus too much on himself, but he will gab from dawn to dusk about his family! Your uncle Richie can attest to this. Make sure to ask him about the time your father was almost banned from your uncle's elementary school because he marched over there to yell at the teacher for not awarding Uncle Richie the Student of the Month Award. "Richie's the best [expletive] kid you've got and the best [expletive] student you'll EVER teach in your entire [expletive] career!" Don't ask Daddy to tell the story, because it still gets him riled up.

Most importantly, he's proud of our little family. He's the reason why people found out about you early, you know! We were both expecting me to be the one to blab the news the minute we found out you were real, but I actually did a good job of keeping quiet. It was your father who, after I worked very hard on sneaking us into the ultrasound technician's office, couldn't stop himself from running into the lobby blurting the news after seeing you for the first time. It didn't matter that we were still three weeks away from making the big announcement; he was just so thrilled by your tiny, wiggling presence and couldn't contain himself. Your dad was so proud of what we made. He was so proud of YOU and you were only ten weeks and the size of jelly bean.

One last thing: remember that Danny Castellano, your father, is a man full of surprises. He'll grumble about the terrible state of music today, but will dance his butt off with you when he's in a particularly playful mood. Underneath his tough exterior lies a tender center made of gingerbread. He'll read you bedtime stories in funny accents and love you so obnoxiously and openly that you'll be the victim of embarrassment so many times before you learn to actually appreciate it. Between the two of us, just plan on being embarrassed a lot. And I'm far from sorry about that.

There is so much more that I could say about this man, but apparently the publishers of this book feel that one page is more than enough. They've never met your father, so I'll let it slide.

Preparing For Your Arrival

How we chose your name: You were very close to being named Calliope, but your father would give this queasy-looking grimace every time I mentioned it. He seemed to like Agnes, but I turned him off of that by insisting that I would call you Aggy Azalea. Then one day we were talking about extended family. By sheer coincidence, he had a great aunt and I had a favorite cousin who were both name Camille and both passed away in 2007. Your name is in honor of them both.

What your name means: It's of French/Latin origin, meaning "perfect." No pressure, of course (you're already pretty perfect, though.)

Your nickname:...Cam, Cam-Cam, Cammie, or Millie. Daddy has gotten into the habit of referring to you as ladybug. I love it!

Nursery color and theme:..Babe, your room is crazy chic! It's black and hot pink and it's Audrey Hepburn-themed. Your father knew better than to fight me on this

What we did to get ready:... Well, as far as the easy stuff - your nursery, documenting memories, how to prepare for the trip to the hospital - we had the benefit of the internet. Doll, when you are old enough, you will learn of the magic that is Pinterest. In short, Pinterest is a website let's you save links to really useful stuff and totally puts any little reserve of imagination you may have had to shame. It's insane what you can find on there; I basically know how to build a small house out of re-purposed wine bottles and mason jars because of it. Your father couldn't be bothered with it, but I have spent literal hours on finding stuff specifically for you. Trust me, you have everything you could ever need, including leather glider and small flatscreen TV, which is more for your parents than it is for you, but hey.

As far as the important things, like making sure we knew enough to keep you alive, healthy, and happy, we had a lot of talks with your grandparents - more specifically your father's mom (Gram) and my dad (Granddad). You have to understand that our career requires an extensive knowledge of how to bring you into the world, but as far as keeping you in this world, your father and I needed a little help. I was prepared to be a library's worth of books about child-rearing. Your father, in one of his genius moments, simply said, "Let's just go to the people who raised two successful doctors." Handsome and smart, your father. We're a couple of lucky ladies.

We quickly learned that raising you "correctly" will just boil down to what works for us as a family. Not knowing what to do scared us so much, but we took comfort in knowing that nobody really knows. There are people who will claim to have figured out the secret to raising children, but nobody knows to raise Camille Amala Lahiri-Castellano...not even us just yet. But we feel very privileged to know that we, your father and I, will be the first to find out.

Funny things that happened: I don't know if I'd call it funny as much as I'd call it sweet, but your father was very adamant about having a boy when we learned we were having a baby. He had a name and a little league picked out for this son he was so sure he was having. I was a little afraid that he'd be disappointed if we had a girl instead. However, the second he found out you were a girl, he could not have been more excited! He beamed like a fool and would ask "How's Daddy's perfect little girl doing?" at the start of every hour. Everything changed at the drop of a hat and suddenly, you couldn't convince him that there was anything better in this world than having a girl. He still wants you in little league, though. That much hasn't changed.

Reflections From The Heart

Okay, Camille. There are some things you're going to need to know. A lot of things actually, but most of those I'll have to wait until you're big enough to teach you firsthand. Like how to throw a baseball or tie your shoes. Some things though I am going to tell you from the very beginning, and as you grow up they'll never be a question.

I will never leave you. No matter what. If you get mad and tell me you hate me? Still there. You do something wrong and get into trouble? Still there. Those times that will inevitably come when I have to discipline you and you think I don't love you anymore? I still love you and will still never leave you.

Which leads me to the next thing: No matter what, I will never stop loving you. It's physically impossible. I knew from the very first moment I found out about you, deep, deep down, that I would love you completely for the rest of my life. This is never in question.

What else?... Oh, the Yankees are the best baseball team there is, and that has ever been. This is not my opinion; this is a fact. There've been studies. I'll go over this more with you when you're older.

You're going to be privileged. Part of me is proud that your mother and I can provide you with not just everything you need, but a lot of things you want. I promise to work hard to not spoil you. When you're old enough to read this you'll think it's a horrible thing for me to promise, but I don't care. Never take anything for granted. Everything you have someone who loves you worked hard for, all the way back through generations.

I'm not worried, though. You're going to come out perfect. And once you're here it's up to your mother and me not to screw you up. I think we have a better shot at getting it right than most.

Love,

Dad

My gorgeous girl,

Your father did a great job of covering most of the basics and I co-sign on everything he said. The only thing that I want to add is this: you have two parents who believe with all their hearts that nothing in this world is more important than family. We'll have nice things (as we should! We worked incredibly hard to get those things) and we'll have plenty of wonderful experiences, but none of it will mean a thing without the people we love to share it with. Just know that you are going to be surrounded by so much love from all different directions: your uncles Rishi and Richie, your aunt Dani, your grandparents, your little cousins, and more second cousins and great aunts and uncles than any of us can count. We want you to take that love, truly appreciate it, and pay it forward. An ability to love is just as important as an ability to perform well in school or excel in a career. Not everyone will agree with that, but it's certainly true for us and it should be true for you, too.

Also, you should know that your family doesn't stop with those who share the same bloodline as you. The amazing thing about family is that we have the power to create our own, which both your father and I have done throughout our lives. That's why you have an Auntie Gwen and Uncle Carl (as well as Riley, who will treat you like a little cousin) and an Uncle Sketchy Stevie, as well as Uncle Morgan, Uncle Jeremy, and Uncle Peter. You'll make friends that'll become so important to you that they'll feel like siblings and you know what? They will be. And these will be the people that'll keep you grounded, cheer you up, have your back, and steer you in the right direction whenever you're being a little dumb. They'll fill in any spaces and make up the rest of your family and your dad and I will love them, too. Don't shy away from this! Don't close yourself off from people who want to love you (UNLESS THEY'RE CREEPY OR INSANE. That's important to note!) and don't think that inviting others into our family will offend us. There will always be room for more.

You are so unbelievably loved and you are going to change so many lives for the better. Also, you're going to look fantastic doing it. Your closet is already close to full and I've hidden a few boxes of yours in my own closet. Let's keep that between you and me.

Love you, Ladybug,

Mom

Danny,

I've read (and cried over) Camille's baby book for the fifth time within the past 24 hours. Even as she's kicking my bladder and I stare at her room, it's still so hard to believe that this is happening. Our lives are going to irrevocably change within the next week (God willing! An extra week or so of this would kill me). I'm having a baby with my best friend! It's such a weird and beautiful reality that sometimes it feels like it doesn't belong to me. Then she'll kick and remind me that it is, and then I get this overwhelming joy and fear again. Don't worry, though, the joy outweighs the fear tenfold. Okay, I'm getting off track.

The best thing about the book is that it gives Camille assurance that we're here for her, no matter what. Even if everything else falls apart and everyone she knows is suddenly out of her reach, she'll have the two of us. And she'll always have this knowledge, Danny, from the time she begins to understand what these promises mean. I love that we're giving her that, and I can't thank you enough for obliging me and working with me to make this possible. You're the best partner a woman can ask for.

Now that the book is finished (as finished as it can be, at the moment), I feel this overwhelming need to give you the same gift we're giving our daughter: assurance. So I want to ease your mind of something that I think has been weighing heavily for a while. If I'm wrong, feel free to tear this letter up and tell me just how wrong I am, then I'll proceed to write you something entirely different. My gut tells me that I'm on the right track, though. So here it is:

Daniel Alan Castellano, you are going to be the perfect father that you and your brother deserved, but never quite got.

Daniel Alan Castellano, you are NOTHING like your father.

I can tell that you worry about it by the way you tense up when you hear certain Frank Sinatra songs or when we pass a barber shop. You'll change the channel when ever that Father's Day commercial by Hallmark comes on, the one with the father and grandfather teaching the little boy how to wash a car. Even in your sleep you have this worrisome expression with your forehead a little creased and your jaw set. It's heartbreaking and really unnecessary - all of it - because what we have is not the same thing at all.

This isn't a dig at your father, by the way. I know things aren't great and the wedding drama didn't help matters, but I still hope for some sort of reconciliation someday. Still, his shortcomings are not your shortcomings by any stretch of the imagination.

I wish you could see just how well you've taken care of me over the years, ever since we were nothing more than oblivious best friends. You've already taken the best care of our daughter by taking such good care of me. We know you'd never dream of leaving us and we'd never let you, if you tried. There's only one man fit for the jobs of Camille's doting father and my incomparable husband.

So stop worrying and stop selling yourself short. You are an amazing man. If you ever need reminding of that fact, you know where to find me. I'm willing to bet that our daughter would be willing to provide a pretty enthusiastic reference as well, should you need it.

I love you so much,

Min

Hon,

You're very sneaky, sticking that letter in my bag where you knew I wouldn't see it until I got to the hospital. And okay. You know me better than anyone and I'm sure you knew I needed to stew on your words a little before I said anything, or else I would just deny it.

I'm not denying it. I'm not completely agreeing with it either. Do I wake up some nights from a dream I can't remember with a knot in my stomach because I'm scared shitless that no matter how I feel right now, abandonment is in my DNA? Yes. And I'm logical enough to know that's probably bullshit. My dad didn't leave us because he couldn't help it. He left us because he was miserable and he ran away.

That's why I'm not scared, not in the light of day anyway, of becoming like my father. I know I'll never leave you. Or our daughter. You bring me the most joy I have ever known; you're completely essential to me. And I don't know, maybe we won't be blissfully happy every single day. We're going to be married forever, so I'm sure there are going to be some hard times ahead. We're probably going to disagree about a LOT when it comes to raising our kid. Or kids. (I'm not saying I want more, but we can talk about it after this one's done cooking.) The point is, if there are hard times, we'll work through them. I have faith in us as much as I have faith in anything.

I do worry though, Min. The big stuff is a given. I won't leave my family and I'll love you with all my heart. That doesn't mean it's going to be enough. Or, enough isn't the right word. . . I worry about the things I can't know now. There are a million different ways I could fail our child every day. What if I don't realize them all until the damage is done? I don't think that's going to happen, I honestly don't. Not majorly. Between the two of us and the knowledge of our parents combined we're going to raise an amazing human being.

Plus, I have you. WE have you. You're the mom. And I trust with all my heart that when it matters and it comes down to the really big stuff, you're just going to know. It's instinctual in you already. I see it more and more every day. And every day I'm more in awe of it, and more in love with you.

The Father of Your Child(ren)

P.S. If my calculations are correct, you're reading this over a glass of milk (never thought to look for a sneak-attack reply letter in the fridge, did ya?), still wearing your robe. The green silk one with the flowers I love so much because it's easy to get my hands inside. I know our girl isn't due for a couple more days still, but I'm ready. Aren't you ready? It probably won't do the trick, but I'm planning on getting takeout from Han Dynasty tonight, and I'm getting you the spicy hot pot. Once, and only this once, will I overlook all the sodium and MSG. It's for a worthwhile effort. And if the spice doesn't work, I may try and get under that robe. If you know what I mean... You know what I mean. Call me if you need me for anything at all. I can be home in ten minutes if I sprint.