Disclaimer - Cassandra Clare owns everything related to TMI - little ol' me owns nothing.
Jace In Exile
Chapter 11
No one said a word on the cab ride home from Camille's party. Jace and Simon sat in the backseat (Brother Zachariah in the middle, invisible to the cab driver) staring pensively into the foggy night. Jordan hummed to the music on the radio, softly singing a verse every now and then.
Jace wasn't sure if he was more frightened about Raphael coming after him or that his runes were fading. His voyance and parabatai runes were the only visible remains of his Shadowhunter identity. In the shower that morning he noticed the rest had faded completely, almost like they vanished no residual marking left behind. He felt weak and tired. He was hungry all the freaking time, which was a big change from when he lived at the Institute and he would miss meals and not even realize it.
He wondered if the reversal of ascension already started without a formal ceremony. He wanted to ask the Silent Brother sitting next to him but thought this wasn't the appropriate time with Simon and Jordan listening in. He decided he would wait until tonight when he went to sleep on the couch and Simon and Jordan were in their rooms.
His mind drifted to Clary and he stayed in the daydream the rest of the way home. He missed her more than he thought he could miss anyone. The short time they'd been together made a lasting impact on his soul. He could visualize her almond-shaped emerald eyes, wavy red hair, and her overall delicate stature. How the softness of her lips felt against his when they kissed. Even the slightest touch could send him over the edge. Knowing he was causing her pain with this distance was taking a toll on him.
He wasn't sleeping that well and he would wake up suddenly from nightmares about Raphael capturing him and making him a living blood bank for his coven of vampires. The thought made his stomach churn and he had vomit at the back of his throat. Simon had fed on him one time, surely there had to be other factors in his ability to walk in the sunlight. Jace knew he had angel blood just like any other Shadowhunter, but he knew of vampires drinking Shadowhunter's blood without Simon's side effects.
Jordan paid the cab driver and the three of them ambled up the stairs in silence. The apartment door was ajar. Jordan put his finger to his lips and signaled for Jace and Simon to be quiet. He poked a finger on the door and pushed it open a little wider. The room was fine, nothing tossed, didn't appear to be a break in.
Jordan walked through the door first, "Damn it woman! You scared the living daylights out of me. Thought we'd been robbed or something."
Simon gave Jace a quizzical expression, he shrugged his shoulders in response and they walked into the apartment to see who was on the other side.
"Who would want to steal your stuff, surely they can get this lovely mismatched furniture down at the Goodwill Store," Maia Roberts teased.
Maia Roberts was Jordan's girlfriend, and he'd been avoiding her for two days because Jace begged him to keep his whereabouts a secret.
Jordan took two strides across the room picked Maia up and swung her around in an embrace. She laughed and then stopped abruptly when she saw Jace walk through the door.
"Oh no I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing! Jordan Kyle, are you housing a rogue Shadowhunter in your apartment?" She glared at him with outrage.
"Does Clary know you're here Jace? She's been worrying herself sick because she thinks you're in a dungeon in the Silent City, and Simon – she's been pulling her hair out trying to reach you for the past two days." She was in Simon's face now, her eyes wild, and face red with anger.
She paced across the room to stand next to Jordan. "Well you all are lucky I was here when Isabelle and Clary showed up about an hour ago. I used my key and let myself in, I was looking for this one," she pointed to Jordan, "but no one was home. They knocked on the door so I answered. Isabelle was dressed to the nines, I'm assuming for Simon's benefit, and Clary was a wreck." She glared at Jace and smirked.
"So you are a player Wayland, just as I figured the first time I met you. All pretty face and charming smile, and to think Clary really loves you. Sweet girl meets evil Prince Charming; falls madly in love and sweet girl gets taken advantage of and never loves again. That what you do to all the good ones Jace?" She said with malice in her voice.
Jace turned crimson and hung his head. Simon spoke for him instead, "Maia it's not what you think. Jace isn't playing Clary, he's…well he's working some stuff out, okay. He's trying to get himself pulled together." He said dismissing the subject with a wave of his hand.
"You said Izzy and Clary were here, but they left. Did they go home or where were they headed?" Simon asked with a hint of panic.
"Not sure if they went straight home but seemed like that was their plan. Izzy was all dressed up in a sexy outfit, maybe they stopped off at a club, but I doubt it with Clary in her jeans and sneakers."
Simon knew Clary well enough to know she wouldn't head to a club if it were just she and Izzy. His panic stemmed from the near miss they had with Raphael earlier tonight.
He exhaled a breath and said, "I'm off to bed. I'll call Izzy in the morning. Maia would you keep it under wraps Jace is here? He looked at her with pleading eyes.
"I won't go off running to tell Clary or anything, but I'm not going to lie Simon. I'm sorry but I'm not getting in the middle of this." She looked at Jace with an apologetic shrug and went to Jordan's room, Jordan following behind her.
"Night, Jace. You better call Clary tomorrow, if you don't I will." Simon said without turning around. He walked in his bedroom shut the door.
Jace sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. He was such an ass. Now Maia knew he was hiding out from Clary, Izzy, his entire family, and for what…pride. Pride was an ugly sin and he was drowning in it.
He raised his head and saw Brother Zachariah standing in the "his" corner, the same place he stood every time they were in the apartment. He decided it was now or never.
"Why are my permanent runes fading? What are you doing to me? Are you with me for reasons greater than keeping me in line and using glamour to hide me from the eyes of mundanes?"
Jace felt Brother Zachariah in his head. "Mr. Wayland, I'm afraid you have spent most of your time in the presence of Downworlders. Distancing yourself from other Shadowhunters for long periods of time, especially your parabatai could cause runes to fade. You need to be in the company of your own kind to slow down the process," he said gravely.
"Slow down the process? What process? Is this part of the ritual? Are you reversing my ascension by being with me?" he said angrily.
"No, my presence has nothing to do with your weakened state. You draw energy from your parabatai, but you have not interacted with him for some time now. You were freed and the first place you ventured was to the vampire who fed off you. Why do you think you came here first?"
"I…I…came here first because I thought Clary would be here, but she wasn't. I wanted to warn Simon about Raphael." Jace was frustrated with the Silent Brother. He could tell he was holding something back, hiding something from him.
"Are you sure your instincts to come here were to see Miss Morgenstern? Think about this very hard Mr. Wayland, you seem to need the Daylighter in your presence."
"What are you implying, that I've got heartfelt feelings for SIMON? Look Brother Z, my brother Alec might be gay but I'm not. There is nothing wrong with Alec or anyone else who chooses to be in a same sex relationship, but I'm not hot for boy vampire." Jace stood up with his fists clenched. Man he wanted to hit something.
"Mr. Wayland I'm not questioning your sexuality, I want you to look introspectively at why you are drawn here to the Daylighter," Brother Zachariah reached out in a soothing tone.
Jace contemplated his question. He did feel the need to run to Simon after the scuffle with Raphael and his gang. Clary wasn't the first person he thought of.
"My blood, Simon has my blood inside of him. Are we linked or something now?" Jace was praying this wasn't the case.
"Linked but not in a vampire and sire way, you are linked to your own angel blood. Mr. Lewis has your blood running through his veins. The angel blood is calling to you. Your body senses a change, no stele has grazed your skin in some time, no seraph blades wielded, your body is in defense mode trying to hang on to anything Shadowhunter related, but you have exiled yourself from your kind Mr. Wayland. You need to draw on the energy of those with angel blood outside your own. You must trust in others to help you and allow them to come to your aid, as without their energy and spirit you will be weakened. You are not an island Mr. Wayland, you need to convene with other warriors."
Well isn't this just great, he was avoiding Clary, Alec and Izzy out of embarrassment, and that was causing him to lose his Shadowhunter marks and abilities. He knew what he had to do, but he wasn't ready to do it. He had to call them, and each day that past would be another day for their anger to grow.
He didn't have a choice now. Time may be what he wanted but it wasn't what he needed. His marks were disappearing, only the parabatai and voyance permanent runes remain, and they were fading! A permanent rune fading, he didn't think that was possible, but according to Brother Z it was. The worst reality was he was weakening himself because of pride.
He grabbed his cell phone and dialed.
Alec awoke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. The silk sheets in Magnus' bed were tangled around his legs. He kicked his feet to remove the sheets and sat up. Magnus had a gigantic mirror on the wall opposite side of the room. Alec couldn't avoid his reflection staring back at him. His dark hair was sticking up in multiple directions and he had deep black circles under his eyes. His image was a cross between a porcupine and a raccoon.
He stretched his arms over his head and yawned. He was restless, unable to get Jace off his mind. Jace was his parabatai and the oath they accepted tied them together for eternity, or at least until one of them found their demise. Feeling scared for Jace wasn't new to Alec. Jace was constantly putting his life in peril as a Shadowhunter, taking blows for Alec and Izzy during fights with demons, always seeking out danger. At one point, Alec thought Jace might be searching for a death wish, until he met Clary Fray.
She crashed into their Shadowhunter lives one night, and from the start Jace was head over heels for her. He was a completely different person with Clary, a better person, Jace trusted her almost immediately. So out of character for Jace that Alec told Clary to get out of their lives, he was forceful, but she was unmoved. Alec understood now that Clary was Jace's fate, and without her Jace could eventually turn into a ticking time bomb. Ultimately Alec understood that Jace was lost without Clary, and a lost Jace put he and Izzy at risk.
Alec had vowed to follow Jace at all costs, but where Jace was going (becoming a mundane) he couldn't follow. His eyes started to well up, the Clave had weakened Alec, even if indirectly and unaware, loosing a parabatai was debilitating to the other partner. All runes applied would be less powerful, no longer able to draw strength from each other, and losing his fighting partner, he might as well cut off one of his limbs. There had to be something he could do to make the Clave change Jace's sentence.
Magnus walked into the bedroom with sympathy in his eyes. "Alexander did you sleep at all? You tossed and turned for the past few hours." Magnus crawled into bed next to Alec and put his arms around him, absentmindedly stroking his hair.
Magnus saw the parabatai rune etched in Alec's skin. Was it fading in color? What the hell? "I'm researching all the information I have about Shadowhunter rituals and the impact they have on parabatai pairs. We will find a way out of this for you." He said soothingly.
Alec jerked his head off of Magnus' shoulder and glared at him, "Find a way out for me! I don't want a way out for me, I want a way out for Jace," he yelled in rage.
"He is my brother, my parabatai, my soul is literally sewn with his. If they cut Jace's runes from his body, this will include his parabatai rune. My soul will be ripped in two! I will never be whole again. Do you understand what I'm saying Magnus? I will not be me." He couldn't contain his tears any longer and streams ran down his face as he quietly sobbed into a pillow.
Magnus felt helpless, incompetency was not something he usually associated with, but in truth his research efforts so far were futile. The Shadowhunter history he accessed never spoke of an unwilling Shawdownhunter having his marks stripped away. There were stories of Shawdowhunters becoming mundanes but not against their freewill, and not without committing a great evil.
Freewill - that was a concept Magnus hadn't focused on when he was researching. Maybe he was looking in the wrong place? He sat up in the bed abruptly, jostling a miserable Alec to the side.
"Where are you going?" Alec said in a whisper.
"I think I missed something in my research. I'm more useful searching the old books than consoling you right now. I love you Alexander more than I should. If you can't sleep then get out of this bed and help me formulate a plan. I hate seeing you like this, I need your strength right now."
Magnus pushed off the bed and walked into his study. He could hear sheets rustle as Alec climbed out of bed. He smiled a little to himself and walked to the bookshelf. He pulled out his copy of The Holy Bible, which he kept for reference purposes, and started to read.
AN: Jace is finally realizing 1) he isn't the master of his own destiny; 2) he can't do everything on his own he NEEDS others to survive; 3) he doesn't have an identity other than Shadowhunter...right now.
Do you think Magnus will find a loophole? Freewill is a gift from God...
I'm working on the next chapter...you won't believe what Jace's first modeling gig is...
Thanks for reading :)