IT TAKES TWO
chapter 9
by Stands With a Fic – Camima
Showing Sharon's inner gamut of contrasting emotions is becoming each time trickier. My intent is to depict her in the most faithful and reliable way yet according to my perception of her on MC. Of course, 'my' Sharon isn't 'real' Sharon but rather depicts how I think she would respond to her feelings for Andy ;) Thanks everyone for following me and reviewing! Special thanks and my deep gratitude to my beta CMemlovr :)
"Good morning, everybody!" Sharon smiled kindly as she greeted her team, despite briefly flicking her eyes towards Andy's and lingering slightly on his gaze. "Chief Pope will be visiting out department tomorrow morning-" At this statement, eyes rolled simultaneously around the room, accompanied by huffs of breath and half-pouts as Sharon continued, "escorting the Mayor," Sharon pointedly ignored Provenza's sarcastic expression of elation, "who will be honouring us with his presence, eager to assist in whatever is done during a typical work-day. On top of that, he is also -"
"Eager to spy on us? To stick his nose in where it doesn't belong whilst asking idiotic, boring and irrelevant questions that will impede our work?" Provenza interrupted, his words searing as he bit them out.
"Admire our professionalism," amended the Captain, her eyes widening as her lips clenched in a mock-threatening expression, "so, today, we will all complete the reports on our desks and concentrate especially on professional thoughts so as to present ourselves admirably for our guest." She finished her speech by looking pointedly at Provenza with narrow eyes and folded arms, her voice a near hiss. Turning to her office, she took two steps before spinning back to the team again, "Oh, and please do not forget to wear your uniforms." Andy smiled as he remembered the times he had seen Sharon in her uniform, hair in a tight bun and with no heels or glasses. "Should you have any questions bear in mind that these are orders," she said, her voice steely. Arching her brows slightly, she the barest hint of a smile traced her lips and Andy looked at her with a grin, shaking his head as she entered her office and shut the door.
Soon after Sharon's speech, Chief Pope and Commander Taylor arrived, her door springing open with little preamble. As the two gentlemen sat in the chairs in front of her desk, she stood to shut the blinds, taking the time only to roll her eyes slightly at Andy through the glass. He smiled back at her, amused but attempting to be sympathetic at the same time.
Sharon called Provenza in a couple of times. She left her office once to collect some documents and bring them back to her superiors. The three of them left her office to spend their brief lunch time and the afternoon together in Pope's office, dashing Andy's already weak hopes to join her for lunch. As the afternoon gradually became evening, Andy felt somewhat irritated what with Sharon's absence from the squad room – and him. However, he tried to ignore these feelings and continued working steadily as his Captain had ordered.
Checking his watch, 6:57pm, Andy let out a long breath. Only he remained in the squad room. Having pretended to have more reports to revise, Andy had stayed back, and Provenza had pretended to believe him. Minutes later, he stood up, ready to leave in search of Sharon under the pretense that he was going home. However, this would seem facetious, as Provenza had called the Captain earlier, asking whether or not the team had to stay any longer and she had asked that he turn on the speaker of his phone so that she could thank the team and allow them to leave, pardoning herself for not noticing the time. Remembering this, Andy opted instead to text her, taking a little more time to wait for her as he headed to the break room, typing as he walked. He turned the corner and lifted his eyes in time to see Sharon frowning at the open folder she held in her hands, striding purposefully without thought of direction since she had presumed she would be alone. Her eyes lifted from the folder a fraction too late, and she walked straight into Andy, the folder crashing into his phone and her body recoiling from the crash and falling backwards. Andy reached for her waist to prevent her from falling but merely ended up stumbling against her feet and following her to the ground.
"Oh my God, Sharon! I'm so sorry – are you alright? Did I hurt you?" he asked in rapid succession.
"I think I'm fine, Andy," she gasped, breathing hard with the weight of his body on her, "and you?" she asked, peering into his eyes. He gazed back, and they suddenly both realized their complete bodily contact. He looked at her appreciatively, unable to stop thoughts of her beauty from entering his mind as the tip of his nose almost grazed hers and he caressed a strand of her hair. Her glasses had fallen askew and lay against her right collar bone. He traced her face with his eyes, taking in the shape of her eyes and brows, the little wrinkles around her eyelids, her cheekbones and nostrils and the wrinkles under her nose and lips. Fixing his eyes on her hair line and forehead, he moved downwards to her eyelashes, counting the beauty marks that litter her face. He didn't want to miss a single detail. Returning to her mesmerized eyes, he heard her swallow and his lips parted as his eyes lingered on hers. Swallowing again, she blinked slowly. Suddenly, the elevator door opened and Taylor stepped out, shock crossing his features as he attempted to understand the sight before him.
"Lieutenant, I'm fine thank you!" Sharon almost shrieked as she pushed him aside and off of her.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Captain!"
Andy was now on his feet, leaning down to the Captain, who was still planted firmly on the ground. Folding her glasses, Sharon allowed Andy to hoist her up by the elbows as Taylor watched them with a puzzled expression.
"Lieutenant, it's alright really. I wasn't watching where I was going – completely my fault."
Andy continued the performance for Taylor's benefit by replying, "Uh- um, since you're here Captain, I was wondering whether you'd mind having a word…in your office?"
"Oh, of course not Lieutenant." Taylor continued to observe their exchange, his hand on his chin, brows arched.
"There are just a couple of details I want to clear with you before the Mayor's visit tomorrow," Andy continued.
Taylor's eyes betrayed his suspicion, but he ignored it for now and cleared his throat, "Captain – Lieutenant –Chief Pope has just received a phone call from the Mayor. Unfortunately it seems that he won't be joining us tomorrow as the Governor has requested his presence and has thus asked that we relay his sincere apologies."
Sharon's jaw dropped and her brow furrowed. Exhausted, she allowed her arms and shoulders to droop, releasing a long breath tiredly.
"What?!" Sharon heard Andy's raspy voice coming from behind her, indignant on her behalf. They had all worked tirelessly, scanning hundreds of damned reports, and she had spent all day in Pope and Taylor's company – seething. And now, that Mayor wasn't even coming? Irritated, Andy resolved to work the news to his own advantage, "Well then, Captain, I think we'd best inform the team."
"Certainly, Lieutenant," she replied, "please call Provenza, Tao and Sanchez. I'll contact Sykes and Buzz myself." Grabbing her phone from her blazer pocket, she headed towards the squad room. Turning to Taylor, she said, "Thank you, sir, and good night."
"Good night, Captain – Lieutenant."
Entering her office, Sharon removed her blazer as she reached her desk, wearily placing it over the back of the chair before promptly falling into it. Andy's eyes followed her every movement as he shut the door before moving to her side, his left thigh leaning against the edge of her desk. Looking down at her fondly, he watched as she reclined her head with a huff, leaving her neck entirely visible and her cleavage shining white against her black and white polka-dotted dress which gathered attractively around her breasts, making her chest more attractive and shapely. Moving behind her, Andy was followed by Sharon's suspicious gaze, which relaxed immediately as he placed his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging upwards to the back of her nape. Applying just the right amount of pressure, Andy heard Sharon moan slightly in relief, and continued to move his thumbs in small circles in the soft skin beneath her shoulder blades.
"Oh, Andy…where did you learn –ah- how to do this?" her voice was punctuated with moans, lips barely moving and eyes blissfully shut.
"Well, you know, it's a gift," he replied with an audible grin.
"Mmm, yeah, it is – to me." Andy could see a relaxed and mesmerized smile light up Sharon's features as she opened her eyes and whirled in her chair to meet his eyes. "Tell me, how can I…return the favor?" she asked, flicking her hair so that it landed mostly on her right shoulder as her eyes peered into his expectantly, voice soft. Andy felt conflicting emotions, but her question ignited the image of him yanking her away from her chair and wrapping himself around her, kissing her senseless.
"Let me have you," he paused with a sly grin at her shocked and somewhat amused expression, "over for dinner," he finished, eyebrows wiggling as he smiled sincerely, his voice flirtatious. Looking into his shining eyes, Sharon felt the breath leave her body, her pearl teeth hidden behind clasped lips and her eyes lingering on his features despite the rising blush in her cheeks and cleavage.
"Hmmm, vif if goov." Andy took some noodles from the take-out container with his chopsticks dangling them teasingly before Sharon's lips. She giggled at Andy's childlike enthusiasm as she slowly opened her mouth, eyes on his, feeling as though she were doing something naughty. He roared with laughter at her expression and she swallowed, smiling with amusement at his hearty laughter. Rising up onto her knees, barefoot, she pushed her cushion back into the couch so that she could sit more comfortably on the carpet. Then, sitting down again with her legs curled to the side and her knees pointing towards Andy, she poked at her food again. Andy sat beside her, his back against Sharon's couch and his feet bare. Above him, his jacket, waistcoat and tie lay abandoned on the back of the couch and his shirtsleeves were unbuttoned and rolled up, the top few buttons of his aquamarine shirt unfastened. Legs stretched out and crossed under the coffee table, Andy reached for another container before asking, "How's your tofu? Good?"
"Mmm-hmm," Sharon sang, slowly parting her lips whilst moving her chopsticks closer to her mouth, anticipating wrapping her tongue around the delicious morsel to savor it after such a hectic day. Andy felt his face and neck heating at the sight, arousal curling in the pit of his stomach and teasing his groin, eyes darkening for an instant. He felt like the wolf watching Little Red Riding Hood as he jerked onto his feet to fetch a glass of water, hoping to compose himself.
"Andy, are you alright?" Sharon asked, placing her hand on his quad. Internally, Andy screamed for Sharon to remove her hand and began to grow flushed. Associating his redness with his high blood-pressure, Sharon couldn't have known that she was close to the actual reason.
"I'm fine Sharon, just, something in my throat."
"Oh, better now?"
Andy's situation only worsened, as his words caused Sharon to kneel beside him, their knees and thighs touching. She was also still leaning across him, her plunging neckline not helping him in the slightest, one hand on his quad and the other on his chest. Desperately searching his mind for sad, miserable thoughts, he fixed his eyes on her concerned frown before glaring pointedly at the coffee table.
"I'm fine Sharon, really!" He heard himself say in a sharp and irritated tone, his eyes meeting hers. Sharon jerked away from him and sat on her heels, a hand on her thigh and the other defensively between them. Her head tilted to the side as her eyes widened in surprise and her eyebrows arched in disbelief. "Oh shit, I'm sorry okay?" Irritated, he realized that he didn't sound any better than he had before.
"Okay…I'll go make some tea," she said in a soft voice, puzzled and slightly hurt. Standing up, she went to the kitchen, flashing him an awkward look. Andy sighed and stood up to follow her, scolding himself the entire way. He found her with her back to him as she stood at the counter, moving the utensils and putting them back in tense movements. Andy smiled tenderly at the sight of her, guilt worrying the pit of his stomach as he released a long breath. Sharon stopped, sensing him behind her and turned slightly. Fetching the kettle, Andy approached her but she turned away to fill the kettle from the faucet. Appearing beside her, he caught the kettle as she turned and moved to fill it for her, his expression belying his sincere apologies as he wrapped his hands around the kettle, trapping her hands beneath his. Slowly, she slid her hands away from his, leaving him the kettle and causing his hands to quiver at the sliding touch. She had suddenly become aware of the unconditional and complex nature of their feelings. She knew it now and he could feel that she knew.
Andy filled the kettle in a lucid trance. Then, setting it down on the counter, he turned to face her. Sharon automatically picked it up and put it on the stove as Andy watched her beside him, feeling as though everything had become some sort of slow-motion scene. She took two mugs and placed them on the counter, then laid her palms on it. She felt his hip slightly touch hers. He felt her breathe in, her breast rising gently. She felt his fingers, hands and forearms slide against the outer side of her forearms, wrists and hands, and she watched as his forearms framed hers on the counter. Feeling her quiver, she heard him swallow hard before closing her eyes as his palms gently rubbed the back of her hands. His fingers curled and turned inwards, sneaking underneath her palms and turning them to face his to comfortably intertwine their fingers. Feeling Andy's warmth behind her and his body towering over her, she felt him release her hands and begin caressing her forearms up to her shoulders. Then, lifting her hair and smoothing it down onto her right shoulder, she felt his biceps against her arms. Andy breathed her in slowly, the scent of her skin and hair intoxicating as his nose gently grazed her jaw and neck, his hot breath on her collar bone. Sharon tilted her head slightly aside, her cheek caressing his. His hands rested on her arms, his body so close that it could not even be considered grazing. Not that Andy minded being so close, but he wanted her to feel his desire for her – his care and need to touch her intimately - not just his lust, his sexual arousal. His hands desperately grabbed her arms, and Andy soaked in the ecstatic feeling of Sharon's acceptance of him – her allowance of the breach of her armor. He was aware, however, that penetrating her armor did not mean destroying it, and was thus knew that he had to take it slowly with Sharon, who probably already considered this as moving 'fast'.
Andy pressed Sharon's arms so to make her turn and look at him. She looked into his eyes, her body trembling. He took off her glasses and put them on the counter, causing her to close her eyes as she anticipated his next move. Breathing deeply and slowly, Sharon felt him graze her slightly parted lips with his fingertips, cupping her cheeks and caressing her lower lip with his thumbs, causing her to gulp and release a breathy moan. He kissed her eyelids, she opened up her eyes her jade orbs becoming a dark emerald. He read her stillness as not wanting to encourage him, but not daring to move away, either. Clenching his jaw tensely, he realized that she would probably regret it, and so for her sake, he needed to control himself.
"Oh, Sharon – can't you feel it? Can't you feel how good it feels?" he whispered in a rough, longing voice as he caressed her hair, his gaze lingering on her eyes and moving down to her lips, neck and cleavage, unbelieving of the fact that she was in his arms and ready for him. Ready for their first kiss, if he had only dared to kiss, he felt as if he could hold her in the palm of his hand. Sharon shivered now, her eyes returned jade and were suddenly laden with something akin to horror. From her expression, Andy knew that she would fight her feelings.
"Can I feel it?" she asked, her voice icy and desperate, eyes firmly shut. Releasing her breath as she looked into his eyes, hers now wide, her voice rose and took an offended tone, "Can I feel it?!" Andy breathed in, gathering his strength to face the storm. "What do you want from me, Andy Flynn?!" She asked, almost shrieking as her voice broke on the last word.
"I don't want anything from you, Sharon. Nothing I know you don't want too, anyway." She was still, expectant. "I want to give myself to you – I want you to let me love you with all my heart," Andy answered tenderly and resolutely, surprised at his own calm. Sharon regarded him as though he had threatened her very life, and in part he knew that he had.
"It doesn't matter of what we want! The only thing that matters is what's right! We have a responsibility to that which is right!" she hissed at him.
"Sharon! When I'm with you, I know that it is right. I feel wonderful, and I want you to feel that too! We can't keep doing this, Sharon! We are meant to be together, and it's not only okay, but it is right and good!" Andy said as he ran his fingers through her hair, his voice rising in the heat of the moment, his feelings for Sharon firm and unmovable.
"Oh really? It might feel good and right now, but tell me, Andy, when it's over – how will it feel? Huh?" she demanded in a low and steady voice. Breathing in shakily, she continued, "Let me tell you how! It will feel awful and I'll be left to pick up the pieces again!" Tears shone from her eyes as her lips and chin trembled. Blinking away her tears, she added, "Only this time, I won't be able to put the pieces back together. I'm not as young as I used to be, Andy. I've fought my entire life – had to learn to live alone and be strong and independent. I've been through this so many times – every time that Jack came home! I can't take it anymore – I'm through!" Her voice shook but was firm. Andy kept his arms around hers as she struggled with the conflict of her feelings.
"Sharon, you're not through. I see it every time your eyes meet mine – I feel it every time we're together – our bodies always more eager to find a way, a pretext to get closer to one another. I know you…I know you want me like I want you, Sharon. Please, just trust me." Andy spoke as though his life was dependent upon his words.
"Oh, Andy, and how am I supposed to trust myself? How can I trust my feelings when I've been wrong so many times – hurt so bitterly by those I thought that I could trust? I'm safe now, even after everything I went through with the children. Everything I have now, I had to compromise for, always having to betray what I felt was good for what was right and necessary! I'm not complaining, but I can allow nothing to put all I have and am at risk!" Sharon released a deep breath, reclining her head to look fiercely into Andy's eyes, which had remained fixed on her face as she had talked. Andy nodded once, his hands still on her arms.
"Sharon, I'm not Jack. Just…trust me," he said matter-of-factly. She frowned and pouted, allowing him to hug her and surrendering to his calm. "I promise that I won't do anything you don't want me to," she heard him whisper in her ear. Closing her eyes, she sighed as her stiff body began to relax gradually, her heart rate decreasing. She trusts him.
The next day, Sharon thought of all that hadn't happened with Andy (but might have) the night before. The fact that he hadn't kissed her didn't negate his feelings for her. However, the fact that he had restrained himself because he really loved her did not make her feel safe. The thought crossed Sharon's mind frequently. The situation was now in her hands, but she didn't know why she felt so uncertain. Knowing that she and Andy could never be together, she didn't know why she couldn't just let him down and the thought of it made her feel vulnerable and uneasy.
Fortunately, Sharon had been able to keep up her professional demeanor at work, despite her awareness that she had avoided Andy on purpose all day. She was too much of a stickler to leave him out of investigations and interrogations and she didn't want him to suffer for her peculiar feelings. She had spoken to him normally throughout the day, but she had not asked specifically for him to join her for interviews.
Apparently however, Andy hadn't noticed a perceptible difference, and thought perhaps that her feelings had made her rather more sensitive to issues that were possibly not even issues at all. Mostly, she attempted to avoid being alone with him. She hadn't considered, however, that the rest of the team would be spectators to her awkwardness and open display of her intimate and private feelings and found the situation rather worse than before. Sharon was reminded of this as she entered the elevator to visit FID. Her presence had been requested by Captain Darcy (her replacement when she moved to Major Crimes) and she reached the elevator bank having stared at Andy's desk the entire time. Taking note that Provenza had noticed her behavior, she rubbed her tense neck and jaw before searching for her pockets.
Looking around, she scanned the squad room horizon as the elevator door opened behind her. Turning her back, she stepped into the elevator, pressing the floor number for FID at the same time. Suddenly, Andy stepped in beside her. In a moment of cluelessness, Sharon looked up in a neutral expression, then started at Andy's grinned wink and took a step back (out of the elevator) and into Tao's open palms, her ass colliding rapidly with them. Upon realizing that he had effectively just spanked his superior officer, Tao turned an unattractive shade of purple. Sharon's face drained of color, horror-struck and unwilling to believe that she had just pushed her bottom into one of her Lieutenants' hands. Attempting not to burst out laughing, Andy had gone fuchsia, however at seeing the Captain's eyes brimming with tears, he resolved to help her.
"Come on, everybody, these things happen!" Sharon, Tao and Provenza looked at him with disbelief. "It was just a misfortunate cascade of events, okay?" Mike shook his head as Sharon looked utterly bewildered.
Provenza frowned before commenting, "Cut the bullshit, wouldja, Flynn?" Then, turning to Tao and the Captin, he said, "Well, it was weird I guess, but just a coincidence, so we should all just forget about it, alright?"
Mike nodded imperceptibly before saying, "I'm sorry, Captain."
"It's alright, I guess. I'm sorry, too, Lieutenant." Sharon said, attempting to recover from the shock.
"Good. So, since it's alright Captain, Mike and I are just going to resume our conversation, and you two…just go back to whatever you were doing," Provenza said as he shooed them with his hands, walking away from Sharon and Andy. Now completely recovered from the shock and utterly overwhelmed by a new awkwardness, Sharon looked up at Andy and pressed the elevator button again.
"Hey, Sharon? It's okay, come on." She looked at his with an uncertain gaze, and Andy placed his arm around her, shaking her slightly. "Though, after avoiding me all 'cos of what we talked about last night," Andy started as Sharon tilted her head towards him, concerned about what he might say. Andy continued, "I'd never have expected you to allow a subordinate officer – those present excluded – to cup your cheeks," he finished, a wide grin aimed in her direction. Laughing slightly in surprise, Sharon arched her brows as her eyes widened before bursting into laughter. Maybe she shouldn't have laughed, but she couldn't help it – she needed to release the tension that had accumulated throughout the day. Now, she was ready to meet Captain Darcy and go home, and despite the embarrassing incident that had just occurred, she felt as though a burden had been lifted. Once again, this was down to Andy, who knew what she thought and felt – what she needed to hear and what he knew she could bear – and who wanted her the way she was, in spite of being able to see through her. Andy, who was always there for her. As the elevator stopped, Sharon turned to Andy before the doors slid open and, with a sincere smile, said, "I'm so glad to have you, Andy." Then, stepping into the corridor, she walked away, turning her head to look at him over her shoulder, a smile lighting her face and eyes. Andy watched her sashay gently and firmly down the corridor, his heart skipping a beat with each step that she took.