SENSE AND SENSIBILITY
Chapter 15
by Stands With A Fic – Camima
M-rated, maybe…
"All I want from you is you to be sincere with me, Andy - I want you to trust me like I trust you!" Sharon said vehemently, her eyes fixed on Andy's, hands on her waist as she leaned forward, "how could you hide the fact that you filed for a transfer from me?"
"Sharon if I had told you, you wouldn't have allowed me to! And filing for transfer was the only thing I could do to save both our relationship and our jobs - from present and future threats!" Andy countered, raising his voice in frustration at the direction their conversation was taking towards a quarrel.
"Right! So this is how you'd like our relationship to continue?" She raised her voice in renewed hurt and astonishment, "I have to tell you every little thing, but you can hide things of the utmost importance from me that will influence our love!"
Taken aback by her own words, Sharon started slightly, her eyes widening. She let her hands fall along her sides as she breathed sharply. Watching Andy's expression shift from closed to bewildered, she saw his brows arch and jaw drop subtly. She looked away and turned her back on Andy as her hands ran through her hair and clenched her temples. Feeling Andy standing behind her, she tilted her head slightly to the side, glancing at him before returning her eyes to the view from her balcony. Andy took her chin in his fingertips, turning her head so that she would face him and look him in the eye. He looked into her eyes intently, soaking in the magnitude of what had just happened, understanding from her gaze the true meaning behind her words; our love. Andy watched as her eyes filled with tears and understood why she was so upset. He had taken a decision concerning them both without even telling her. Andy understood that in some way his behavior reflected her ex-husband's and she was understandably upset by it. She trusted him, she even said 'our love'. She had opened her heart to him and put her life in his hands and he had deceived her. He had been there when she had been too scared to accept his feelings for fear of being hurt and left broken again. Somehow, she had regained her balance and didn't want to lose it, yet wanted to let him in more than she already had. She had opened to him and learned to trust him.
Andy tucked her hair behind her ear and grabbed her waist, regretting the tears that slid down Sharon's cheeks and neck, knowing that he was the cause of them. Tears spilled onto her blouse, causing tiny spots to appear that darkened and caused the material to become slightly more transparent. Andy felt helpless as he removed her glasses and placed them on the coffee table. He then turned to look into Sharon's eyes. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs as his hands cupped the base of her neck.
"I only meant to protect you," Andy said in a low warm voice as he shook his head, showing her that he had understood the fact that he had disappointed her instead.
"Andy," she cried, "please don't ever do that again, or," her voice broke, "I'm not sure I'll be able to trust you." She swallowed hard and cleared her throat, "You are the sweetest and nicest man I've ever met and I want us to be together, but that can't happen if I can't trust you. It wouldn't be a real relationship. I don't need someone to father me - I want a mutual romantic relationship – that means that we need to have both trust and love."
Andy's heart stopped as he heard what Sharon said.
He understood that she had to report to Taylor because it was her duty to inform him about them. Not to mention, she had no choice after Andy confirmed that they were indeed a couple. At the same time she was ready to face the consequences in the knowledge that Andy would be safe. The fact that she was his superior meant that she would be the only one to undergo disciplinary action according to LAPD regulations. If she hadn't reported their relationship, she would have exposed him to the same consequences. Andy was sickened by the thought of Sharon Raydor having disciplinary action brought against her. Oh, the irony.
"Sharon, believe me when I tell you that I understand and I promise that I'll tell you everything that concerns us," he smiled fondly, "but you must also promise to do the same. I know your decision to report to Taylor only affects your career and position, and aside from your compelling need to follow the rules, it was your duty," he rolled his eyes jokingly, "but how do you think I felt when I found out from Taylor? Don't you think I'd prefer to find out beforehand from you? While you are my Captain, you're also my…girlfriend." He smiled at the feeling the word gave him, watching as Sharon's dampened cheeks rounded into a smile. Sharon realized that he was right; she couldn't use professional reasons to cut him out of her decisions.
"I'm sorry, Andy. I hadn't realized," she said, somewhat surprised by her sudden revelation as she frowned and fixed her gaze on his, "I promise, though...I guess it might take me some time to get used to involving someone else, so I might need reminding every now and then." she smiled awkwardly.
"Hey," Andy murmured as he hugged her tightly, "it's me, Andy. I know what you've been through and what your life was like before me. And it's alright. I don't want you to change – I love you for you. All I want you to do is open up to me. You've already come so far and nobody would have made it as far as you have, against all odds and alone, but now I want to be a part of it too," Andy whispered, his voice pleading as he gazed at her fondly.
Taylor and Pope had accepted the Captain and the Lieutenant's relationship for the time being, but according to LAPD procedure (and as Sharon knew all too well) the Captain would be investigated as the subject of a disciplinary inspection in order to determine the efficiency and cohesion of her unit despite the changed dynamic. The most difficult facet of this situation was that Chief Taylor had ordered the Captain to remain discrete about her relationship. Naturally, the order had been superfluous as neither Sharon nor Andy were willing to reveal their relationship. However, the expression of a direct order from her superior made the situation more delicate, to the extent that Sharon had asked Andy to avoid her completely at work to ensure the utmost caution. Though Andy found the entire affair completely unfair, he agreed to Sharon's request and avoided her during work hours. He understood that ultimately the basic workplace rules were in place for their protection, he couldn't help thinking that they were unnecessary in Sharon's case – her personal adherence to the rules and reputation throughout her long-standing career were more than testament to that fact.
As all the members of the team arrived in the squad room that morning the Captain exited her office, religiously avoiding Andy's eyes.
Forcing a professional demeanor, she said calmly, "Good morning, every one. Before we begin, you should all be informed that from today our division will host an FID investigator until further notice." Sharon saw the team's alarmed expressions so she did her best to reassure them, "The investigator is interested in my work, not yours, so please continue as normal," she saw shock flit across the team's faces and couldn't prevent the tremor in her voice as she concluded, "I have been asked not to disclose the circumstances under which this investigation was requested, and I would ask that you not pry." Sharon looked around at the bewilderment and concern amongst the team. "I'm very sorry to put you through all this," she added shakily, "I would ask that you please treat them with cooperation and respect as they are only doing their job. Questions?"
To Sharon's relief the team remained silent and she was relieved to turn her back on them and escape into her office where she could shut the door and blinds to preserve her dignity.
Provenza realized that things between the Captain and his friend had progressed too far – though he was still unsure of how far they had gone exactly. He could still see the shock on Andy's face when he had told him that the Captain and Taylor were in a private meeting, and was still astonished by it. Only now did he realize that the Captain had actively avoided looking at Andy and that only he had shown no surprise at the bombshell the Captain had just dropped. Provenza was a firm believer that there was no such thing as coincidences. Knowing this, Provenza felt somewhat sorry for his Captain - despite her liaison with Flynn, she had shown no less professionalism or dedication to her work nor had she expressed any preferential treatment towards him – she didn't deserve this. Why did she have to undergo the investigation? Because she was following the rules, he bet.
Given the oppressive atmosphere at work, Andy was entirely eager to leave at the end of the day and join Sharon in the intimacy of home, where he continued his courtship as though he still had to win her affection. That day had been hard on both of them – the FID detective had trailed behind Sharon everywhere, save the restroom, whilst Andy had been subjected to an interview regarding his expectations of how their changed personal dynamic might impact their professionalism. Following that, Andy had been asked how he would behave in a situation where either the Captain's life or those of the team were at risk.
At home they avoided all talk of the investigation but for a few brief mentions as Sharon discussed her day. Often, she had to remain well after office hours to answer the questions that arose throughout the course of the investigation, resulting in Sharon giving Andy a copy of the keys to her apartment, happy that he would be there at the end of a very long day.
That night Sharon was exhausted but relieved; Pope had called her to his office to inform her that FID's investigation was through – she and Andy were officially in the clear. He had, however, requested that they act with discretion and avoid informing the team for the moment. She couldn't wait to tell Andy and had decided to do it in person.
She entered her apartment, expecting to find the lights on and the scent of Andy's cooking wafting from the kitchen. However, instead she found that the apartment was dark and silent as she shut the door behind her.
"Andy?" she called, still surprised. It seemed that he wasn't home, despite the fact that his car was parked outside. Pulling her phone out of her purse she checked it: no calls or texts. She was sure he hadn't mentioned any prior engagements. She felt puzzled and disappointed as she called him. Andy's phone buzzed from the living room and she felt somewhat concerned and uneasy. She thought of all the pressure he had endured because of their situation and the discussions about their behavior at work. All the rules, all the conditions she had imposed upon him. And yet, every time she had asked him how he was doing, he had smiled and answered that he was doing great thanks to her and not to worry about him.
Sharon switched the hallway lights on and searched for Andy, her eyes roaming the floor. He had been feeling dizzy lately, and she feared that he might have fainted. Sharon attempted to suppress her dread as she strode towards the kitchen, still finding no trace of Andy. She checked the bathroom and again found no trace of him. It didn't make sense that he would leave without his phone or car.
She entered her bedroom, praying that he was there safe and sound. As she entered, she recognized Andy's profile in the dark, lying on her bed. Sharon approached him and smiled, relieved as she heard him snore. Andy slept deeply, his blazer, tie and shoes still on. Judging from his pose, he must have sat at the foot of her bed and laid back to relax, inadvertently falling quickly and deeply to sleep. Sharon watched him sleep, her eyes recognizing his features even in the semidarkness of her bedroom. Kneeling down, she unfastened his shoes and pulled them off, causing Andy to snore louder and then breathe silently. She took off her shoes and crawled beside him. She lay down on her belly, her head supported by her elbows and forearms as she watched him sleep. Despite the semidarkness, she was able to divine each spot and wrinkle of Andy's face, branded in her memory as they were. She passed her fingers through his hair and softly twisted a strand of it around them, smiling softly at his cuteness. She looked at the pointed nose that used to curve down almost imperceptibly when he was laughing. His nose was one of the first things she noticed about him at the beginning of their challenging relationship. It had not been all that long – six years, in fact – yet they had changed so much. It was almost insane that they were a couple, and she surprised herself by grinning widely at the thought of it.
Sharon drew closer, leaning over to get a better look at Andy. She felt his breath against her chin and his scent filled her senses as she breathed it in deeply. She looked at his lips, soft and gentle, his skin always perfectly shaved (especially after he had scratched her face with his neglected beard once). Gazing at his closed lids, she thought of the way his eyes shone every morning at the sight of her. Leaning down slowly, she captured Andy's lips between her own, lingering in a grateful, loving kiss. She pulled away slightly but immediately felt the need to drop another kiss on Andy's lips, feeling the need to deepen the kiss to truly demonstrate the extent of her love.
As Sharon kissed Andy, she felt his hands caress her hips and back, his lips forming the ghost of a smile as they parted to capture hers. Though moving slowly and lingering on Andy's lips, Sharon quickly became more eager and heated with each kiss. Andy's hands caressed her waist and hips, memorizing the details of her body with each movement.
"Oh Sharon," Andy whispered.
Sharon let out a heated breath as Andy's hands grabbed her hips and pulled her body closer to his. She obeyed his guiding touch, her body pressed completely against his. Andy pulled her skirt up slowly, giving her the time to stop him. Sharon, however, decided instead to deepen the kiss. Andy reciprocated fully, caressing the outside of her thighs, causing Sharon to shift her legs to either side of his body, knees bent.
Suddenly she pulled away from his kiss. A long, anticipatory silence filled the room and Andy felt Sharon move away. Reclining his head, he panted out, "Sharon," attempting to reassure her as he began to rise from the mattress. Sharon returned to the bed, straddling his figure as she pressed her chest against his delicately, glasses removed.
She whispered his name against his lips, her voice soft and sultry yet filled with heat, "Andy, I want to make love to you".
Andy couldn't believe what he had heard.
He and Sharon were going to… he had longed for this moment since he had realized his feelings for her. The thought that Sharon was comfortable enough with him to be so vulnerable lit his passion for her. He had expected the arousal that curled in his gut each time she touched him – his yearning for her body unparalleled. Now, when he least expected it - while he'd slept - she had woken him with kisses and told him that she wanted to make love to him, her eyes darkened and heated yet almost shyly resolute – a cute combination.
Suddenly, Andy was overwhelmed by awareness of how precious and delicate Sharon was. His desire grew parallel to his need to care for her. She was about to give herself to him completely - of her own volition.
Andy felt emotion fill him. His hands were no longer controlled by heated need. They trembled with anticipation, the thought of undressing Sharon filling his mind with excruciatingly sweet clarity. He slowly unzipped her skirt as he rolled on top of Sharon, leaning over to memorize her expectant yet nervous expression. She was panting softly, looking into his eyes as though she longed to forget her past – to escape the confines of her clothes and her mind. He gazed into her eyes, seeing her quasi-innocent craving to be held, igniting Andy's passion. Eager to fulfill her request and to explore further, he slowed his actions, content in his need to tease and taste every inch of her body – her reactions novel as he enjoyed cherishing her. She needed this.
He started unbuttoning her shirt, matching every button he unfastened with a kiss, his lips wet and feverish against her skin. Sharon felt the chill of the air gradually reach her cleavage, Andy's heated kisses melting the chill from her skin and soothing her as she quivered. The sides of her shirt lay completely parted and at her sides, her chest rising and falling rapidly as Sharon panted sharply under Andy's ministrations. He stopped and pulled away to look at her body, her alabaster skin stark against the dark comforter even in the semidarkness of her bedroom. The light from the hallway was not enough for Andy to truly appreciate her form, yet revealed too much for her liking. Andy unfastened the cuffs of her shirt, wrapping an arm around Sharon and gently lifting her torso, pulling her shirt away from her body. She reclined her head and he nibbled the slope of her neck as he lay her down once more, admiring her chest and bare arms.
Sharon's eyes darkened as she noticed the direction of Andy's gaze, her back arching in satisfaction. Her chest swelled as she arched her back again, welcoming Andy's kisses and roaming hands as they framed her waist. She felt her legs spread, inviting him to deepen their contact as she entwined her legs with his. Grabbing the hem of Andy's jacket, she pulled it off his shoulders and away from his arms. Throwing it on the floor beside the bed, he continued to litter kisses across Sharon's cleavage, his eyes consistently on hers, begging for her approval. He enjoyed the subconscious movements she made in her bid for pleasure, unfastening his tie so that it soon joined his jacket. Andy removed his shirt as if it seared his skin, his t-shirt soon following suit.
He stopped to allow Sharon to watch him, admiring his semi-nudity. His chest and arms were covered with fine white hairs that hid the musculature that hinted at a much younger Andy. Sharon caressed his upper body, her hands roaming as though she wanted to make sure he was real. She smiled softly, lovingly, at Andy, inviting him to undress her completely. Andy swallowed perceptibly at the sight, pleased that she felt appreciated enough to reciprocate. He had shown himself completely to show her there was no room for shame – not now, not ever.
"Sharon, you're so beautiful," he whispered thickly, mesmerized. She smiled awkwardly, flattered by his comment yet questioning how he could possibly find her…beautiful.
He caressed her shoulders and she inhaled sharply. Slowly, he lifted her bra straps with his fingertips, pulling them down slowly and delicately, his eyes never leaving hers. He glanced at her moistened lips and at her breast as she released a soft breath. He appreciated her form, utterly abandoned to his actions, eyes eager yet innocent. He leaned onto her as she propped herself up lightly, allowing his hands to snake behind her back and wrap about her torso. Andy grabbed her and she rolled on top of him, shoulders white as marble and caressed by her auburn locks, her breasts heaving and pressed against his chest. He watched her in surprise, his expression heated. Her darkened pools met his, two emerald splinters in the dark, hot and feverish as her lips parted slightly. He grazed her back and shoulder blades as he caught her gaze. She closed her eyes for an instant, releasing a slow breath as she forced them open again so as not to lose eye contact with Andy. Her chest felt liberated, his fingertips lingering where her bra had been fastened not a moment before. His hands held her back, pulling her against his chest. She felt his movements and allowed him to continue. Gently, Andy tugged her skirt until the waistline reached Sharon's knees, rolling on his side again to lay Sharon delicately on her back as he slid her skirt along her luscious legs before dropping it to the floor. He let his eyes linger on her hips, belly, thighs and shins, soaking in the sight of her body. She smiled slightly, awkwardly feeling her face heat in embarrassment as she felt his rapt gaze.
Andy caressed her thighs lightly, moving upwards as he returned to his former position – now closer to her between her inviting legs. Travelling along her chest, Andy stopped at the hem of her bra, lifting her breasts delicately as he pulled her bra down. Almost shyly, Sharon instinctively cupped her breasts, crossing her arms over them as Andy removed her bra. She breathed with difficulty, caught in the moment. She was willing to show herself to Andy - because he was hers – who watched her expectantly yet patiently. Somehow, she felt awkward at the idea of showing her breasts to him, despite desperately wanting to. Andy smiled at her with excruciating tenderness, leaning in close before capturing her lips once more. He pulled away slightly to look her in the eye as he whispered her name raspingly, his voice thick as he pressed searing kisses into her shoulders and cleavage, brushing his lips slowly over her hands as he pressed the tip of his nose softly beneath one hand, causing Sharon to surrender to him completely. He felt Sharon loosen her wrists and spread her fingers, grabbing his jaw as he felt her soft breast against his lips. He felt the silken skin on his nose and inhaled her scent deeply as it surrounded him completely.
Andy pulled away to admire Sharon's naked body, feeling incredibly aroused. She looked stunning, and there she was: craving to be held, yearning for his body to ensconce hers. Andy's gaze brushed her like a lover's hand, and she was reassured by his reaction to her body. She glanced in direction of his crotch and he followed her gaze, his own ignited and darkened as he plunged into her. Sharon grabbed his hips, widening her legs as she surrendered to her desire, feeling both lost and released. Her hands frantically unfastened his belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants in an instant. Andy lifted his pelvis, desperately helping her to undress him completely. Sharon started, wincing as she felt him, hot and hard, against her center – lace panties the only barrier between the ultimate connection.
Andy entered Sharon slowly, controlling his urge to thrust deeper. He held Sharon tenderly in one arm, his other hand caressing her thigh as Sharon arched under him. He covered her face with tiny kisses and brushes of his lips, watching Sharon's face with tense expectation, soaking in this new level of intimacy. He thrust a little deeper as she breathed out a barely whispered "yeah". She was ready for him and he was hot and eager to feel her around him, entering her completely.
"You're so beautiful, so, so beautiful," he whispered in her ear.
Andy intensified his motions, their hips moving in tandem. He felt as though he had been entrusted with a great secret, his feelings engulfing him as he felt Sharon's pleasure surrounding him, radiating from her center and amplified by the rolling motions of his hips, gentle as a tide caressing the shore. Ecstasy burst behind her half-closed lids, her eyes fixed on Andy's as she took the pleasure of her climax from the sight of him – from his soul. Andy felt his release fill him completely, panting as he breathed her name and climaxed, his upper body falling beside hers as he quivered. Their legs remained entwined, his manhood still encased in her silken skin. He shuddered as the aftershock of his pleasure reverberated within him.
He opened his eyes and found her watching him, satisfied and sparkling green splinters looking at him in wonder. He saw a teardrop falling from her eyes but she quickly wiped it away, smiling tenderly as he eagerly pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her frame.
"Sharon, baby, are you alright?" he asked thickly, whispering against her lips as he looked at her. She nodded her head and smiled, looking at him as her eyes lingered on his fondly.
"I'm happy," she whispered, overwhelmed by the sensations she felt that had been reawakened and ready to shine. Andy smiled lovingly, holding her tight as they lay on their sides, legs entwined. She was looking up at him in wonder again and smiled at him, kissed his lips and tilted her head back so as to better look into his eyes, her hair spread over her pillow in waves.
"Andy, the Chief said it's alright for us to work together and have…this," she whispered, shrugging as she smiled lovingly and cupped his cheek.
"Oh! What...Sharon, really? Andy said, bewildered yet ecstatic, his brows arching as a stunned smile spread across his lips.
"Yeah," she smiled fondly, "but no one else can know," she whispered, looking at him intently as though what she meant to say was "I'm happy we made love".
Andy's reaction to her subtext was, "Of course. I've already informed the only two people I wanted to know," he said raspingly, kissing her lips softly as if to say, "I'm happy too and I love you".
"Oh really?" she whispered sultrily as she raised a brow with an intrigued smile, "and may I know who they are?" she smiled, amused and already knowing the answer.
"Oh well, I'll give you a hint...one is a gorgeous, incredibly hot, sweet, bright," Sharon's smile widened as Andy listed those characteristics "and stunning, completely naked woman," Sharon opened her eyes wide in amused shock and burst into high pitched giggles. Andy smiled sincerely and fondly, glad to hear and see her laugh that heartily and to be the cause of it. She loved to see him smile, especially the way he did to her and only her. She thought she'd never seen such a shining smile, such glittering eyes, dark and deep and yet so warm and lovely.
"Hmm, let me guess," she composed herself and continued as he kissed her forehead, his gaze returning to her eyes, amused by her mock-thoughtful tone "the other is...a man," she looked into his eyes with a smile as she bit her lower lip. Andy nodded once, so she continued, "very attractive, generous, an enrapturing smile and an irresistibly seductive gaze." Andy looked at her as if to say "What, really?" and smiled. "A sweet, caring, understanding and loving man," Sharon concluded, her expression transitioning from amused and teasing to intense and almost vulnerable. Andy held her tighter and wrapped her body in his. His arms wrapped around her chest, one hand palming a cheek of her bottom, the other holding the back of her neck as their legs entwined tightly, his lips descending upon hers and kissing her senseless.