April 2009

Kate shuffled through the papers in front of her, scanning each one before moving on to the next. It was complicated. Even for her - someone who drew up contracts, and researched deals and mergers for a living - it was still complicated. She pushed the papers away, burying her face in her hands. It was complicated because this was more personal than the client presentation she'd been working on. It was a hell of a lot more personal than anything she'd ever worked on before.

It was the ending of a marriage.

She let her fingertips massage her temple, groaning aloud in an attempt to stave off the silence in the room before standing.

The paperwork was fine.

She'd looked it over - in fact, she'd looked it over twice, as had her lawyer - so she knew it was fine.

But filing for divorce still hurt, no matter how obviously right the decision was. No matter the cold exchanges she and Gabe had had over the last twelve months, hashing out the legal details of making it official was brutal.

She heaved out another sigh, leaning over the desk and reaching for a pen, scrawling her name on the dotted lines, over and over again on each of the applicable pages, before separating the copies out and sliding each stack into an envelope. She put her own copies into the drawer, left Gabe's copies on the desk, and pressed postage stamps onto the others. One for her lawyer, and one for Gabe's.

She ran a hand through her hair, looking around the room. The walls felt like they were enclosing her, and she picked up the paperwork. Time to get these out of here.

Pushing the two thin packages into the mailbox down the street from her apartment was a challenge she hadn't expected, and she stood staring at the slot, until someone brushed past her and she came back to herself. It was time. She took a deep breath, her teeth worrying her lower lip as she watched them slide out of sight.

Sadness washed over her, tempered with… relief. And hope. She leaned her head back, tears prickling as she stared up at the cloudy sky.

Decisions had been made, and paperwork had been signed.

For the first time in years, she was free.

May 2009

Kate hurried downstairs to the street, unable to stand being inside any longer. In the two weeks since she'd signed all the paperwork, she'd been treading water as she balanced work and taking care of her daughter and today, at last, she'd had the chance to figure out some of the practicalities of the divorce. But walking through the apartment, making inventory of the furniture she actually wanted and browsing new places online was more draining that she'd anticipated.

She nodded at the doorman as she passed, stepping onto the sidewalk. It was only two in the afternoon. She could enjoy the rest of the day, do something for herself that she hadn't done for years. She smiled, sticking her hand out and hailing a cab.

Bypassing the children's section - a nice change of pace - Kate made her way through the library to the fiction section, the idea of borrowing something that wasn't a picture book giving her unexpected pleasure. She ran her fingers along the shelves as she browsed, nothing in particular standing out until she found herself in the Cs, the name Richard Castle leaping out at her.

Rick.

She pulled the closest book off the shelf almost by instinct, flipping through the worn pages, familiar words and phrases staring back at her, and she smiled. Flowers For Your Grave. How many times had she read this one?

How many times had she read this one while ignoring Gabe; his disdain for her obsession with the mystery genre, the disparaging remarks from his side of the bed as he urged her to turn out the light?

Well, it wasn't his side of the bed anymore. Since the topic of divorce had come up he'd set himself up in the guest room, and she hadn't argued the point, hadn't offered to take the spare bed and allow him the master room. In fact, she'd barely spoken to him at all, except for perfunctory remarks about their lawyers' progress.

She brushed her hand over the cover, her touch slowing down on Rick's name, and a surge of guilt shot through her veins; she hadn't spoken to him at all since the day they'd had coffee.

Sinking into the armchair at the end of the bay, she pulled her cell from her purse, scrolling through the messages he'd left. The first had come through when she'd been curled up with Ramona watching a movie - Thank you for a wonderful afternoon - and the second had come through the following day. Hope you slept okay in spite of the coffee. She'd smiled at both, promising herself she'd get back to him.

She hadn't, though. Instead, she'd pushed down the instinct, focused only on getting through each day as she worked through the practicalities of ending a marriage. The third and last message had come through just a couple of days ago, and it was this one she stared at now. If you ever want to get a caffeine fix, just let me know. She smiled, finally typing out a reply.

He whistled as he stepped off the elevator, nodding at LT and Karpowski before making a beeline for Ryan and Esposito who were staring at the murder board, both silent in their contemplation.

"What've we got this fine Thursday afternoon?" he asked, clapping a hand on each of their backs, and they turned around to face him, Ryan with a grin, and Esposito with a grimace.

"Hey, Castle."

Rick wiggled his eyebrows. "Castle, huh?"

"Yeah, well." Ryan cleared his throat and Esposito frowned at his partner.

"Don't get too excited, man. It's just weird calling you by your first name when the rest of us use last names."

"I see." Rick grinned. He was one of them. He was so one of them. Even if Esposito was doing his best to pretend he wasn't.

"So have you got any of your crazy theories?" Esposito asked, feigned disdain in his voice, and Rick looked at the board, taking in the details.

"He was found with cling wrap on his face?" His voice heightened an octave in excitement, and Esposito shook his head. "I wish I'd been at the scene!"

"We called, but you didn't answer," Ryan defended, and he nodded.

"I know. Thanks. I was busy."

"Oh yeah?" This time Esposito looked interested, but Rick shook his head.

"Not like that. I was just hanging out with Alexis."

"She still approve of you spending your days following us around?"

"Yeah, she-" Rick was interrupted by the buzz of his phone in his pocket. "That's probably her. She's going to let me know how she did on her physics test."

Esposito let out a low groan, but Ryan nodded along sympathetically as Rick checked his messages.

Oh. Not Alexis.

"How'd she do?" Ryan asked, and he smiled.

"Not Alexis."

"And with that grin on your face it's obviously a woman." Esposito looked torn between getting back to the case and finding out more, and Rick shrugged, punching in a reply.

"No, it's- yeah, it's a woman."

"Well obviously." Esposito let out a huff of annoyance. "Man, I hope you don't play poker, a face like yours."

"Hey! I'll have you know I'm a great poker player. With a great poker face."

"Uh-huh."

"And I'll have you know the message was from Kate."

"Who?" Ryan asked, but understanding dawned on Esposito's face.

"That chick, yeah? A bit creepy, getting sexy texts from someone you met like that, isn't it?"

"It wasn't a sexy text," he protested. "It was a… text. A normal, friendly text."

"Back up, guys, who's Kate?"

"The chick he called to interview. Because apparently-" Esposito gestured to himself and Ryan. "We're not inspiring enough for Rick, here. He's happy to use us for our interesting cases, but he'd rather be following hot women around New York." He turned to Rick. "She was hot, wasn't she?"

"Yeah, she- that's not the point!"

"So the interview went well? Wasn't that like, a month ago?" Ryan asked.

"She's still messaging. I'll say it went well," Esposito retorted, and Ryan laughed.

"Well, what does she want?"

Rick chuckled, pulling his cell out of his pocket again as it buzzed in reply.

Do you want to get a coffee later, or are you too busy solving crimes?

"She doesn't want anything," he told the guys. "Just coffee." He stared at his phone for a second, tapping out a reply.

"So… you got any crazy theories or not?" Esposito asked, and he shrugged, grinning as her reply came back.

"Sorry, what?"

"Murder. Dead guy in car. Suffocation. You know, theories?"

"Oh." Rick shook his head. "Um. I'll think about it." He pointed toward the elevator. "But I think I'm going to take off for a bit. Clear my head with a, um, coffee." He shrugged in apology. "I'll come back. Later. Because I love this case. Really."

The twin looks of disgust the boys threw his way did nothing to dampen his mood, and he smiled as he raced back to the elevator. A coffee date - no, not date he reminded himself, meeting - with Kate took priority over a dead guy in a car.

"Hey." He scooted onto the bench next to her and she felt the corner of her mouth tug up.

"Hey."

"So, uh… how are you?"

"I'm…" she looked to the ceiling. What could she possibly say. Oh, I'm fine. By the way, I signed my divorce papers and I messaged you because I was lonely and seeing your name on your books in the library was the best I've felt all week. No. Probably not. "I'm okay. I'm good."

"And… Ramona? Is she okay?"

"Mmmhmm. And you? And, uh- Alexis?"

"Yeah. Good. We're both good."

She cleared her throat. This was stupid. Just two friends meeting for a coffee across from the library; it didn't have to be this awkward.

"Do they come take our order here?" Rick asked, and she shook her head.

"I think you have to go up to the counter."

"Okay. I'll go up there." He stood and turned, but she called him back.

"Hey. You don't even know what I want."

He flashed her a knowing smile. "A sugar free vanilla latte," he replied, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Skim."

"Skim milk. Coming up."

She watched him make his way to the counter before reaching into her purse to look at the library book in her bag - the fact she owned a copy hadn't been enough to detract her from checking it out. Years of reading his books and now, here he was, buying her coffee? She ran her hand across the cover for the hundredth time since she'd called him before tugging the zipper closed as he approached, coffees in hand.

"For you." He pressed one of the cups into her hand, his touch lingering a moment longer than necessary before she jerked back, grateful for the lid on the hot drink as the liquid sloshed.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He tilted his head to the side as if properly taking her in for the first time. "You're different."

She laughed. "Meaning?"

"Meaning… jeans? You're not playing hooky from work today, are you?"

"No, I'm not. I don't work Thursdays or Fridays because of Ramona."

"Yet she's not here." He raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess."

"Guess?"

"Yeah." He took a sip of his drink. "Spy. The lawyer thing was a cover, and you're actually on a top secret mission."

"Oh." She blinked, scrunching up her face. "You mean you're actually going to guess. As in… you don't even want to be right? And I just needed some time for myself so Ramona's in day care."

"Who says I'm not going to be right?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her, angling his head as he considered. "Your mission actually involves hacking some top secret government agencies, but to do that, the cover of normality is absolutely essential. Therefore, coming to the library is the perfect front - you can use the public internet, granting you perfect anonymity, and, of course, you can check out one of my books while you're there-"

Kate opened her mouth in shock. "How did you-" she rolled her eyes as the last word escaped. "Know?"

He chuckled, a twinkle in his eye. "I was actually kidding, but I told you I was a good guesser."

"Well… I borrowed other books too, if you must know!"

"Really? But not… Patterson or Connelly, right?"

She shrugged, averting her eyes. It was best if he didn't know she only had his book in her purse. And if he had some kind of insecurity about other mystery writers, so much the better. "What can I say? I like the genre."

"A spy who likes mystery novels. I like it."

"Yeah. A spy. Right. If only." She stared across the cafe, watching the bustle of people mill around the counter as they waited for their coffees.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, his voice soft, and she looked up, silence stretching between them. She could tell him. There was no reason to keep it a secret anymore. Her friends and family would know soon enough. Why not start with an almost-stranger?

"I, uh, signed divorce papers two weeks ago," she whispered at last, breaking the quiet, and she watched as his mouth fell open.

"Oh. Uh- Kate. I'm- I had no idea. I'm sorry. I'm-" he shook his head before running a hand through his hair. "I'm really sorry."

"Thanks." She swallowed, fighting the tears that wanted to well, and she sipped her coffee, composing herself. "It's… the right thing. It's been bad between us for a while. But… it still hurts. I never thought I'd be this person. I always thought once I was married, that would be it for me."

He shrugged. "I married my first wife because she was pregnant with Alexis."

Kate nodded. "Yeah. That's… the same as Gabe and I."

"I thought it was the right thing, at the time," he continued. "But it was a disaster, from start to finish."

"And do you work okay together now? Parenting Alexis, I mean?" She leaned her head back with a sigh. If someone had told her a month ago that she'd be getting advice from Richard Castle…

He laughed. "What parenting? Meredith breezes into town whenever it suits her, and… well." He cleared his throat. "Anyway."

"Anyway?" she prompted, and Rick shook his head.

"Both times I got married I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. Meredith, because she was pregnant, and Gina because we just made so much sense… on paper. But the reality was-"

He stopped himself, and she glanced at him.

"The reality was that both times the divorce was hard."

"Even for you, Mr. Page Six?" she teased, and his eyes clouded over.

"Even for me," he said at last, focusing his gaze on the opposite wall, and she nodded.

She stared at the paper coffee cup in her hands, letting her gaze settle on her now bare ring finger. She hadn't put the wedding band back on since she'd left it on her desk by accident.

"So. Corporate lawyer slash spy. You ever have fun? Let your hair down a little?"

"I have a three year old," she reminded him. "So days like today are pretty rare for me."

"Oh, come on. Some of the best days of my life were when Alexis was a kid. It was awesome. We'd go to the park… I made lots of friends. Do you know how many lonely single mothers there are in a Manhattan playground? And there I was, between marriages!"

"You're kidding right?" Kate glanced over at him, not at all sure if he was serious, and he laughed.

"Um…" He winked at her and she blushed. Right. She'd seen more than enough reports on page six, and even if they were exaggerated, most rumors started somewhere. She hid her smile behind her coffee, draining the rest of the liquid, the caffeine buzz starting to hit her.

"You want to walk a bit?" she asked, and he nodded, standing and taking her empty cup from her, tossing them both into the trash.

"So are you still helping out at the Twelfth?" she asked, a note of curiosity creeping into her voice as they meandered along the midtown sidewalk.

"Consulting," he corrected. "And yes. They found a doctor in his car this morning. He was tortured before being suffocated."

"Tortured?" she asked, and he flinched.

"Sorry. It's kind of intense. I forget not everyone is as intrigued by gruesome killings as I am."

"No," she assured him. "No, it's kind of interesting. Suffocation… that sounds… personal."

He grinned. She was into his writing after all, so it stood to reason she had some interest in murder and the macabre.

"So does this one make it into your books?"

"Depends on whether we catch the guy, I guess. And what his motives were."

"He? Why does it have to be a he?"

"It doesn't, I guess," he agreed.

"Are you going back there?"

"To the precinct?"

"Yeah… why? You want to come?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "No. Of course not. I just… wondered when you ever get any writing done."

"Right now? I don't. But don't tell my publisher. Who, for the record, is also my ex-wife."

"Exes, hmmm?" She sighed, sadness clouding her eyes, and he stopped, nudging her.

"Hey," he said. "Kate. It will get better."

"I know," she said, but her smile looked forced and he frowned, stepping toward her to wrap his arms around her shoulders before he could stop himself.

She sank into his touch, rather than pulling away like he'd expected, and he raised a hand, bringing it to her head, his fingers stroking her hair. "It really will get better," he promised again, leaning back to meet her eyes, and she smiled at him, her expression wistful as the tears at the corner of her eyes threatened to spill.

"This isn't me," she whispered. "I don't… fall apart like this. Not in the middle of the street."

"Shhh," he said, leaning in again, his eyes falling to her lips and then dropping away. He breathed in, angling his head slightly-

"Sorry!"

His mouth had brushed her cheek. He'd kissed her even if it was just for only a second before he had jerked back, an apology spilling from his lips.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed, taking a step back from him.

"No, no!" He held up a hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean- no. This isn't- I'm not-" He shook his head. "No. Sorry. Kate, that was- that was not fair. I just… I got caught up. I'm sorry."

She laughed at his clumsiness, wrinkling her nose at him. "Let's start again," she suggested.

"Start… what again? Because you just- I don't think that's a good idea!"

"No. Let's just… forget about… that, okay? But maybe we can be friends?" She smiled up at him, a soft expression on her face. "I could… use a friend."

"Friends," he agreed. "I can do that."

She smiled, nodding at him before taking another step back toward the street. "I'm gonna-" she held her hand out, hailing a cab.

"Yeah. I'm going to go back to the precinct. Figure out who suffocated the vic."

"Let me know what you find?"

He nodded, watching as a cab approached and she sat down in the back seat, turning away from him. He watched as she raised a hand to her face, pressing her fingers to the cheek he'd kissed just a minute before.

He watched her leave, for now.

Wow.

And… oops.

A/N: K&J with your combined beta super powers, you rock my socks. x