A/N: Well poor Vixen's passed one fire; he resisted a demon, but what about his inner ones? Find out by reading this chapter…
Warnings: I don't have anything to warn about for now but sever teen turmoil.
Disclaimer: I'm makin zero cash off this cuz I own nothin. (If you do not read redneck find your Hill-Billy neighbor and get them to read this disclaimer.)
Chapter Three: Decisions, Decisions…
(Vixen wakes up)
Slowly opening his eyes Vixen turned on his side, a soft groan escaping him as he sat up feeling light headed.
"You're awake!" A voice seemed to explode from nowhere and everywhere at once, causing Vixen to flinch and nearly face plant into the floor. If it wasn't for a pair of hands on his shoulders he probably would have hit the floor. That would not have helped his throbbing head.
"Wha… what? Jowan?" Vixen muttered looking up from under a curtain of thick currently unruly red hair. Jowan helped his redheaded friend to stand trying to hide his chuckles and smile.
"Yeah, it's me. I hadn't even noticed you were gone all night until the Templars came back with you this morning. For a moment I thought you were dead." Jowan looked him up and down as if trying to figure out a puzzle. Vixen knew what was coming next.
"What was it like?" Vixen sighed and quickly looked around, to see if anyone was near by. Not seeing anyone close enough to hear him if he didn't want them to he looked back at a nervous Jowan. Biting his lower lip while looking away he went pink, thinking of how disobedient he was being.
"To say the least… it was harrowing." He whispered becoming a deeper shade of pink when he remembered what the demon of Pride had done to try to lure him. Changed his appearance to look more like Jowan, he tried to use Jowan to use him.
"Are you alright?" Jowan asked leaning down to look Vixen in the eyes that were far off and glassy, worried his friend might be sick. Vixen blinked and nodded chuckling uneasily.
"Yeah, I'm… I'm fine." Vixen muttered trying to calm his blush. Jowan brightened smiling down at his longtime friend, before getting a disappointed look on his face.
"I can't believe you get to move up to the nice Mages Quarters and I'm still stuck as an apprentice when I've been here longer." Jowan now seemed nervous and twitchy, which worried Vixen.
"Well, they'll call you when you're ready." Vixen stated trying to sound reassuring and hopeful as possible. Jowan shook his head.
"I've been here longer than you! Sometimes I think they don't want to call me." Jowan muttered glaring at the floor, Vixen's gut twisted. His brain began to race, 'Jowan was a good Mage, why not let him go through his Harrowing? Blood Magic? No, Jowan would never…' Vixen slammed his thoughts down. He took a deep breath and said a single word.
"Why?" He looked Jowan in the eye as the man winced and twitched. He looked at Vixen guilt flashing in his eyes. Slowly Vixen stared him down.
"Alright, alright! There's a rumor that I've been dabbling in blood magic." Jowan muttered looking away from Vixen not able to keep a secret from his dear friend. Vixen frowned looking uncertain, as he looked Jowan over.
"Have you?" Vixen asks quietly unsure of how he'd react if his friend turned out to be a Blood Mage. Being a Spirit Healer was a bit annoying at times when he realized just the idea of Blood Mages made him sick. He didn't want to find out how he'd react to his closest friend being one. He also didn't want to find out how people would react if he was revealed as a Spirit Healer.
"N-no! I'd never do that! A-anyway Irving asked to see you as soon as you woke up. I think he's in his study." Jowan didn't look Vixen in the eyes and sighed looking even guiltier than he had. Vixen felt his gut twist, was Jowan lying? Vixen blinked and nodded slipping away toward the door, trying to untie the knot that formed in his chest from his suspicions.
Walking to the First Enchanter's study brought him past Owan, the Tranquil who ran the supply room in the tower. Vixen stopped and watched slightly disturbed by how empty all the Tranquil were. Would he condone Jowan becoming this if he really were a Blood Mage? Pain twisted his gut, if Jowan was a Blood Mage what would he do? He could never hurt Jowan he felt his heart twist painfully at the thought, but what could he do? He was a collared Mage and the Chantry had power over him. All Vixen would do is get himself killed for trying to help his friend.
With a sigh he walked further, coming to a stop outside Irving's door, hearing an argument inside. It seemed Gregor and Irving were going at each other's throats yet again. Looking in though there seemed to be a third person in the Study. The man had dark hair if Vixen was to take a guess he'd say it was black, he also had a long sword and dagger strapped to his waist and his armor seemed to be well worn and expensive. His eyes were dark brown and his beard that had two matching streaks of grey. On a scale of one to ten, Vixen rated the man on about an eight point five. If the man were younger he'd be an easy ten.
"Has the army not enough Mages? How many more could you possibly need?" Gregor growled glaring at the stranger, Vixen's eye twitched in annoyance. Gregor only disagreed because the Mages would be free to unleash their will on the front lines.
"You only object because they would be unleashing their magic with no Templars who would hinder their abilities to fight the Darkspawn." Irving snapped back, puffing up and glaring Gregor down. Gregor took a step closer puffing up just like Irving had and was about to yell back when the stranger spots Vixen, who looks away and takes a step back. Vixen had always been shy and skittish now wasn't any different.
"Gentlemen please; it seems you have a guest Irving." The stranger hushed the fighting Vixen watched as Gregor snapped a glare toward him and Irving glanced over surprise flashing over his face. Both men straightened at the sight of him, looking slightly ashamed at their childish behavior in front of the recently Harrowed Mage.
"I'll just come back later." Vixen said quietly ducking his head and backing away from the door. Irving smiled kindly motioning him in, as Gregor's eye twitched badly.
"No, no come in child. I called you here after all." Irving chided gently, Vixen paused in his retreat, slowly coming forward into the study. The stranger seemed to hide a snicker and Vixen's eyes narrow. Straightening to show he was no coward Vixen eyed the man with curiosity and defiance.
"Well we'll continue this later." Gregor growled walking out the door past Vixen who made sure to take a step away from the elderly Templar. Irving chuckled softly as Vixen looked back at him, a scowl to mimic Gregor's on his face. Vixen lapsed into his grinning self, nodding to Irving before giving a quick bow to the stranger.
"Well, the Circle's newest member. Your phylactery is being moved to Denerim as we speak." Irving stated smiling gently, trying to sound positive. Vixen openly scoffed.
"My leash you mean." Vixen stated vehemently forgetting for a moment there was a stranger and he should mind his tongue. Irving gave him a pointed glance and Vixen remembered his bearings and blushed looking down in absolute mortification.
"What prey tell is a phylactery?" the stranger asks, seeming confused by the term. Vixen again scoffs this time not caring. Irving sends another look his way as the stranger smiles.
"It's only one of many examples of The Chantry's paranoia." Vixen mutters glaring at the symbol of Andraste on Irving's desk. The stranger snickered as Irving sighs in frustration. Vixen looks up batting his eyelashes at Irving to look innocent. Irving just rolled his eyes at Vixen's typical behavior.
"All apprentices after arriving at the Circle have blood taken from them and put into a vial…" Irving trailed off as the stranger nodded. Sudden recognition flared in his eyes, along with disapproval.
"So they can be hunted down if they escape." Vixen nodded looking off to the side. Irving sighed, having debated frequently with the younger Mage on the subject. Magic could be dangerous could no youngster see that? Too often the allure of power clouded young and naïve minds. He looked pointedly at Vixen who actually seemed to frown with worry which was strange for the normally cheery elf.
"I forget my manners, this is Duncan the Commander of the Grey Wardens here in Ferelden. This is our newest Mage, Vixen." Irving finally introduced the stranger who shared a small chuckle with Vixen who bowed to Duncan who bowed in return.
"It's an honor, Warden Commander." Vixen stated bowing low to the elder warrior as he greeted him formally. Duncan chuckled while smiling softly reminding Vixen of a grandfather.
"The honor is mine, Vixen." Duncan states bowing back with a small smile. Vixen felt honored he'd been shown such respect and smiles back. With a twinkle in his eyes Duncan looked at Irving.
"This is the apprentice who recently passed his Harrowing?" Duncan looks at Irving as Vixen pales at hearing of the damn test that chilled him to the bone. Duncan looked over and raised a brow in concern. Vixen swallows hard trying desperately to regain his composer, or what little there was.
"Yes this is him." Irving stated a small prideful smile on his face. Vixen felt a flush rise up and he looked away from Duncan's gaze, the man was looking at him with a great deal of respect and that was strange to Vixen.
"It was difficult, but yes I passed it." Vixen sated modestly, knowing full well that fighting Valor and that last riddle had been difficult but the most taxing had been the Pride demon. Looking like Jowan had nearly won him Vixen's consent, and that scared Vixen terribly.
"But this is not why I called you here. Take these; your ring, staff, and robes that now mark you a Mage of the circle." Irving said gently as he handed over the items that seemed to startle the younger Mage immensely. His hand ran over the wood of the staff feeling the power radiate from within, not nearly as powerful as the one in the Beyond, but well made nonetheless.
"I… Thank you First Enchanter. Was it by chance the war you and Gregor were arguing about earlier?" Vixen felt flustered and quickly switched the attention away from him; Duncan felt a jolt of surprise as he realized what the Mage had done. Maybe Vixen would be the one.
"Yes, Duncan is here on behalf of the King to recruit more Mages for the war." Irving sighed annoyed that an apprentice had seen such behavior. Vixen nodded a look of annoyance flashed over his face, before it was masked by curiosity.
"I would happily volunteer to go… However, if Gregor and you are at ends with each other then I assume now it not the time to decide if and who might be going…" Vixen sighed now looking more tired then anything. Irving noticed the weary sag in the young man's shoulders and smiled.
"The rest of the day is yours and the Tranquil have already moved your things to your new quarters. However, could you please escort Duncan to his rooms before taking the rest of the day for yourself?" Irving tried not to laugh as Vixen looked astounded, a whole day to do anything? He was going to be bored… But he nodded bowing his head toward Irving.
"It would be an honor." Vixen said softly, looking at Duncan he motioned for him to follow before turning and quickly walking through the door. Duncan was taken off guard by the Mages swift gait, and almost jogged to catch back up.
"You seem a bit quite for a new made Mage." Duncan said when they'd almost gotten to his rooms without a word. Vixen blushed feeling slightly embarrassed.
"Sorry, I get quite when I'm nervous and if I do talk I begin to ramble." Vixen admitted keeping it short so he didn't start talking a mile a minute. Duncan chuckled and Vixen felt himself relax a little, they were now inside the room, no longer getting stares from everyone they passed.
"Why be nervous? I see no reason." Duncan stated warmly feeling like this elf might indeed make a good recruit. Vixen suddenly looked flustered his cheeks tinting pink and his eyes darting around the room.
"I am not used to outsiders to the Circle, especially not important ones; I have only just passed my Harrowing last night, and still feel like a fumbling apprentice." He readily admitted cutting off from saying more for fear of rambling. Duncan nodded thoughtfully, remembering the talk he'd had with Irving about this particular Mage.
"Well I hear the day is yours to spend and you've escorted me here. You should go on your way." Duncan said seeming unsure of how to interact with Vixen, who's already admitted his uncertainty in social graces.
"Yes I suppose… But may ask you about the war? We don't often receive news. Well the apprentices anyway, and we are not often allowed to travel even after our Harrowing." Vixen let lose the jet of words hoping not to seem like a twit. Duncan chuckled taking Vixen's uncertain ramble in stride.
"The war has been going well thus far, but I fear that an Archdeamon is at the head of the Darkspawn." Duncan's face reflected his dark words, Vixen felt his blood run cold, he'd read many books in his life, so the words were more familiar to him than most.
"A tainted old god? If that's the case then it's a Blight." Vixen's face paled and his eyes widened in horror. Duncan nodded seeming impressed by Vixen's knowledge, but the dark look stayed there.
"I have only a handful of men, as skilled as they are I'm hoping for aid from our Orliasian brothers. I also hope to get at least a handful more Mages to slide the effort in our favor." Duncan became quite and Vixen bowed again, hoping not to have caused discomfort. Backing up Vixen looked Duncan in the eye.
"I apologies for the dark thoughts, may the war's future brighten when you return to it. I'll take my leave now." Vixen again bowed before turning and leaving. Vixen walked to the Mage's quarters to his room, almost tripping upon seeing it would be his own personal room. His first thought after spotting the bed, holy creators that's huge!
"These will be your new quarters; your things have already been moved here this morning. Make yourself at home. Good day." The other Mage walked away leaving Vixen alone and startled. Vixen hid in the corner that would require someone actually entering the alcove to see before changing into the Mage robes. Slipping his Ring of Study onto the middle finger of his left hand he admired the silver Lyrium etched band that marked him a Harrowed Mage. Reading the runes they translated to 'Harrowing is the life of a Mage.'
With the strangely familiar and comforting weight of the staff across his shoulders Vixen walked out of the large room separated into three only to nearly collide with Jowan. With a gasp Vixen took a hasty step back slamming himself into the wall next to the door he'd just exited.
"Don't do that! You nearly scared the life from me!" Vixen hissed completely taken off guard by Jowan's sudden appearance. Vixen was thankful no one was around to see him jump a foot in the air from the scare. Slowly Vixen's rapid heartbeat calmed and he meet Jowan gaze, letting his hand drop from its place over his breast.
"You're done talking with Irving right!?" Jowan asks not apologizing for nearly scaring the piss out of Vixen before firing off the question. Vixen blinked in confusion at the odd and openly rude behavior.
"For now I guess. Are you alright? "Vixen asks as he realizes Jowan is glancing around like he was nervous. Like this morning. Vixen's gut gives an anxious lurch and he resists the urge to gag in response. Vixen looks around trying to find the source of Jowan's jumpy behavior.
"I'm fine, just a little nervous, I guess. It's not safe to talk here come on." Jowan slipped away toward the Chantry. Like a mouse he zipped by everyone with a speed that was swift but at the same time unsuspicious, unless you were a worried friend. Vixen clenched his jaw, what was riling Jowan?
"Only one way to find out." Vixen muttered quietly his elven accent becoming heavier for a small moment due to his inner turmoil. Slowly with an air of confidence and a more laid back manner Vixen crossed the center area slipping into the Chapel after his friend, who was standing by an initiate. Vixen froze for a moment his heart feeling like it was pumping ice instead of blood. Please dear Creators don't let this be the girl he's mentioned, Vixen prayed desperately in his head.
"Alright, were safe here." Jowan stated relaxing a bit, Vixen only felt himself tensing, his insides twisting into painful knots. He looked between the initiate and his friend silently praying he was wrong.
"Jowan, there's an initiate right there, right by you." Vixen stated his anxiety rising as Jowan just blinked at him like Vixen had grown two heads. Then he looked a bit guilty and he blushed, condemning Vixen's worries as truths.
"Remember how I said I'd met a girl…" Jowan's face lit up like Vixen's tattoos during a magic storm and Vixen looked away cringing as Jowan continued "This is Lily." Jowan looked at the priestess with an adoration that lit a spark of jealousy in Vixen, and the priestess had the same twinkle in her eyes. Vixen rubbed his forehead glancing around to make sure no one was looking or walking around in the Chapel.
"This is forbidden! You both would be in serious danger if another Mage or the Templars were to find out about this!" Vixen's pain and panic took hold over his tongue and he hissed the warning without thought. Jowan looked hurt and Lily looked a bit nervous and now Vixen felt like an ass.
"I know but I love her." Jowan sated his gaze traveling back to Lily that adoration returning ten fold, Vixen felt a sharp reply of, 'That doesn't always mean something, love is not always special' on his tongue, but held it back knowing it would be only hurtful and mean. Instead he took a deep breath and slowly let it out trying to keep his inner pain quite.
"Alright… It's a pleasure to met you Lily, forgive my earlier out burst. I care deeply for my friend and this startled me greatly." Vixen admitted flustered not completely lying or telling the complete truth. Jowan smiled joy shinning from him as Lily smiled nodding in understanding.
"I'm pleased to finally meet you as well; Jowan speaks of you often and fondly." Lily states smiling as Jowan flusters and shifts uncomfortably. Vixen's heart lightens at that but only a little, he after all had loved Jowan for a long time before Lily had shown up.
"Well, that's enlightening, but why did you call me here? Surely not for gossip alone?" Vixen asks his lips twitching into a smile as Jowan puffs up like he was offended, and Lily giggled. Vixen grinned softly for a moment but Jowan's face fell and he began twitching again his eyes darting around to check for some unseen danger.
"They're going to make me Tranquil." Jowan burst out, cringing and continuing to let his eyes dart around. Vixen's gut dropped, he felt numb, and then panic slammed him hard.
"No, are you sure!?" Vixen hissed urgently trying to keep his voice low. Lily looked slightly offended and Jowan only nodded vigorously. Why would Irving let this happen? Vixen's tattoos flickered as his panic resonated dimly to touch his sprit.
"Lily wouldn't jest about this." Jowan sates looking at her with those puppy eyes again. Vixen keeps his annoyance under control as Lily and his dear friend clasp hands. Lily looks back at him and frowns becoming serious in a snap. Vixen tries desperately to hold in his sense of guilt, frustration and other emotions as his spirit sends calm thrums of healing energy through him.
"I saw the papers plain as day on Irving's desk, and they were singed." Lily states her eyes flashing defiantly. Vixen has to work hard to keep the shock from making him faint, they were doing what!? Jowan was a good Mage why, why do this to Jowan?
"W-why? No, it's that rumor of Blood Magic isn't it? Why not just force you to take your Harrowing!? Oh Creators. What can we do?" Vixen ran a hand through his hair looking up at the ceiling in despair, his unoccupied hand settling on his cocked hip; he couldn't do anything for him! His dearest friend was going to become Tranquil, might as well be dead.
"We're escaping the tower. We'll break into the Repository and smash my phylactery so Lily and I can leave and not be tracked." Jowan said fire springing to his eyes. Vixen knew this look and his gut twisted and made him want to vomit, desperately. What!? That was a death sentence; if they were caught they were dead.
"I-I don't think this is a good idea, if you're caught it's a death sentence." Vixen stated trying not to faint. Jowan suddenly looked pleading, and Vixen could never resist that look.
"Please, we know, but we'll need your help to even try." Jowan begged him with his eyes and Vixen felt like he was getting caught in a vice. Vixen screwed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead trying to think, of anything.
"I… Let me think about this. I… I need some time alone." Vixen turned away his mind was in such a whirl, what would put it at ease so he could think? Magic! Or at least the use of his, but where… Vixen walked around and saw the storeroom locked and the young elf woman who was assigned to it was fidgeting badly. He shrugged and walked over being sure to approach from a direction she could see him coming.
"Why is the stockroom locked?" He asks slightly confused as normally the room was open for Mages to go in and out for the simpler items they required, and so the Tranquil could stock the supply room.
"There are some important things I'd like to keep safe in there…" She stated twitching badly as if nervous. Vixen called bull shit on that excuse.
"The storerooms are meant to be used, unless you are hiding something?" Vixen presses knowing something was troubling the other Mage. She becomes flustered and a few moments later she spills it.
"There's an infestation and I haven't been able to take care of it. I only got my new duties a fortnight ago and I've been so busy it's not funny. If the infestation were to be found out about I'd get fired for sure!" She broke down looking absolutely horrified at the thought of failing spectacularly. Vixen cocked his head, if he helped clear out the bugs he'd be able to use his manna which would allow him the ability to think clearer.
"I'll help you." Vixen pipes up feeling slightly bad for causing her to panic in the first place. She beamed at him her eyes drowning with relief for a moment, she takes a moment to calm her joy and calm her mind into a cool and collected breeze.
"If you did that for me I'd owe you a favor. A big one." She smiled as Vixen nodded and handed him the key looking far more relaxed than she had been than she went back to doing what ever she had been at the table in front of the storerooms.
Slipping into the caverns that served as storerooms for the Circle Vixen did a lap of the network of tunnels. He picked up a few useful items along the way but only if he needed them, like the weak healing poultice after one of the giant spiders had bitten him and he couldn't heal the bite, the wound yes, the poison not so much. After completing the first loop he went through again and when it checked out clear he slipped back out of the rooms.
"I've taken care of the problem." Vixen states handing back the key as the other Mage sighs in relief after hearing the news. Vixen smiles tying to hide his very big emotional storm, he still couldn't decide, he was torn between duty and friendship. He slipped out of the room, not surprised when his feet carried him to Irving's office, if anyone knew if this was true Irving would.
"Um… First Enchanter, may I talk with you a moment?" Vixen asks timidly from the door not quite used to being a Mage and not getting called up to Irving to hear of something of his promise or a small problem he was having with some other apprentice. It was weird to think he could come to Irving on his own accord now.
"Yes come in child, what is it?" Irving asks his grandfatherly appeal calming Vixen's racing thoughts and emotions a little. Vixen took a deep calming breath which Irving noticed as one of Vixen's tale tell signs that he or another person was either in trouble, was going to be in trouble, or had done something against the rules.
"If a close friend of yours thought he was in trouble, the kind that makes him think death is a better option, would you help him? Chose friendship over duty?" Vixen blurted quickly clamping his jaw shut before he said the wrong thing which he had a sinking feeling he already had. He mentally kicked himself, how could I betray Jowan!? That's not what I should have said! Vixen screamed in his mind as the color drained from his face as he looked at Irving slightly terrified of what the older man might do now.
"You mean if I had a friend who knew let's say he were going to be forced to go through the Harrowing early and wanted to become Tranquil instead? Who is the friend?" Irving asks Vixen who feels compelled to tell him but his gut twists, and his eyes dart to the ground. An intense impulse to run away hits him and for a moment all Vixen can do is fiddle with the hem of his robe sleeve.
"Close and the friend I want to help but feel it would be against my duty to help is… You won't say anything to Gregor will you? All I'm saying is that he's scared, not that he'll do anything." Vixen blurted feeling bile try to rise at the back of his throat, as he stumbles, his silver tongue having fled him the moment he stepped into the office.
Irving frowns seeing Vixen like this normally meant that it had something to do with Jowan, ah; the initiate he was infatuated with must have seen the papers for Jowan to be made Tranquil and told him. Jowan who trusts few people then ran to Vixen who was now conflicted with helping Jowan get out of the Right of Tranquility or to just help his friend cope with the coming event. Irving quickly put together the pieces and smiled at Vixen hoping to ease the boy's mind.
"If you are speaking of Jowan there is sadly nothing to do. Gregor says he has proof and eyewitness testimony, was it the initiate Lily that told him of this?" Vixen's eyes widened for a moment before he pulled together his composure, "Oh don't look like that, you don't become First Enchanter by keeping your eyes closed and your ears shut." Irving sighs rolling his eyes.
"If you know that then you must know…" Vixen suddenly bites his tongue seeing interest flash in the elder's eyes. Irving sighs and shakes his head knowing Vixen had a serious loyalty issue. He looks at him with soft disapproval.
"Out with it, you've come this far do not abandon your duty now." Irving chides scoring a victory in his mind when Vixen caves spilling the plan. Irving is shocked.
"They're going to break into the repository and destroy Jowan's phylactery." Vixen gushes looking down as shame twists his gut. Irving is quite for a while then his face hardens, a glint coming to his eyes that would have terrified Vixen had he been looking up.
"This would allow that Initiate to get punished for her crime. Help them, but don't let them suspect you of serving your duty." Irving said being interrupted by Vixen who looked horrified.
"But, why? He's my dearest friend Irving you must understand! Why not tell the truth that the two are together not performing blood magic." Vixen stated trying to plea to the First Enchanter who pursed his lips and shook his head. He knew the pain Vixen was going through, but he couldn't stop this.
"Because the Chantry will say she was being framed, and Jowan would still be forced to become Tranquil. I will not allow one of my own apprentices to be punished while that initiate faces no judgment for her actions. Sometimes sacrifices must be made." Irving stated calmly although Vixen now looked sick, but he nodded in defeat.
Irving told him they'd reach a door that they wouldn't be able to get through, the other way to a section that shared a damaged wall with the repository then sent him on his way. Vixen stumbled back to Jowan in the Chantry looking sick. Jowan looked worried and Lily looked at him strangely. Vixen gave a weak smile. I'm a selfish bastard, a selfish bastard! Vixen shouted in his mind.
"You look sick, you alright Vixen?" Jowan asks looking Vixen over carefully. Vixen tries to hold back a wave of bile as he smiles weakly at his friend and nods.
"Fine, just a little sick from the thought of what I'm about to do." Vixen stated though grit teeth trying to hold in his guilt. Lily looked scared and glanced at the door, and Jowan beamed.
"So you'll help us!?" Jowan smiled and Vixen felt more of his insides crumble into the black hole of guilt. He closed his eyes trying not to break into tears and tell them what he'd done. He slowly nodded and looked up at them and gave a fragile smile trying to look his normal self. I can blame it on the rule breaking I can blame it on the rule breaking. Vixen recites that like a mantra in his mind.
"Yes… What's the plan?" Vixen asks listening as they give the details Lily looking at him with a trusting open expression that pushed more on Vixen's guilt. He repeated it was for the best and that he couldn't do anything anyway, but still the guilt gnawed his insides.
"We'll need a rod of fire to melt the lock on the second door; you'll need to go get it. One Mage will look less suspicious then a Mage an apprentice and an initiate." Lily explained Vixen sighed and nodded. Looking around nervously he slipped out and quickly veered to the library to catch his racing thoughts and emotions, breathing in the calm serine feel and the scent of old tomes filled with knowledge. He bumped into someone and quickly stuttered out an apology.
"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention… Oh, Duncan… I'm so, so sorry!" Vixen stutters his eyes blown wide and his face draining further becoming snow white. Duncan who had barely swayed just raised a brow in question seeing that Vixen had nearly fallen completely over, barely catching himself on a table.
"No harm done. Are you alright, you seem pale." Duncan asks looking at Vixen skeptically. Vixen quickly stands his face flushing bright pink. He tried to look as normal as possible.
"Yes, fine, perfectly fine. Truly though I am sorry for running into you." Vixen stated in a rambling manner that had Duncan fighting back an amused smile.
"I was exploring the library, it truly is grand. The Circle is fortunate to have so many wonderful books filled with such knowledge." Duncan states looking down at the Mage, he sees an almost proud smile appear on the previously nervous lips. Vixen nods relaxing at the mention of study and learning.
"Indeed we are incredibly fortunate. Is there something in particular you were looking for? I could help you find it if you'd like." Vixen offers trying to seem as normal as he could. Duncan chuckles as he shakes his head not having a particular tome in mind.
"I don't need any help, just browsing. You have the day to yourself what are you doing in the library?" Duncan asks noticing how the Mage suddenly became nervous yet again judging by his sudden glancing around the library. A sigh left the lips of the Mage and he gave a weary grin.
"Just browsing and trying to pull together racing thoughts. I love the library it's always been my haven." Vixen had suddenly relaxed knowing with a grim unhappy feeling that the Warden could not find out, for Jowan's sake the Warden was momentarily an enemy. He pulled on his mask having had plenty of experience all he had to do was relax and it came to him. Duncan saw the Mage had become different but Duncan's skills as good as they were could not completely pierce Vixen's mask of calm.
"Well… If I may, what's your opinion of the war surely the Mages must have some outlook?" Duncan asks seeing Vixen wasn't about to cave to his scrutiny, what did Irving do to allow this elf to be so easy to read? Vixen's lips twitched into the beginning of a sneer.
"I can not answer for the Circle as a whole but my own opinion is that the people fear us too much to realize how much we could do to help. I wish I could be out there fighting to prove myself a great Mage, but not just a fighter… I should stop my ramble." Vixen halted and the pink tinge on his pale skin as well as the way his eyes slid away from Duncan told the warrior Vixen had nearly spilled a secret. Duncan looked at the Mage trying to decide if he should press the boy, but instead just relaxes his posture hoping it would loosen the other as well.
"You do not fear to use your magic?" Duncan asks deciding to ease his way into the question he really wished to ask the younger. Vixen looked at Duncan skeptically and finally the boy chuckled and let his mask down a little. His blue eyes twinkled and his red hair glowed amber in the torch light, making him look the part of a mischief maker.
"Yes and no. Every great power must be respected. Magic is by its nature dangerous and wild, but that does not make the Mage a monster." Vixen hopes his strange thoughts didn't confuse the Warden but it was surprise and admiration that shown in the elder's eyes.
"Irving has taught you well." Duncan notes, Vixen grins in response not hearing sarcasm he'd expect. Looking at Duncan he could feel the Warden wanted to say something more, so he stayed quite out of respect. He watched as Duncan continued his silent study and decided to just let his mask down a little more; it was no use in acting so tight when he just wasn't.
"I had great mentors." Vixen states modestly, truly feeling grateful his mentors had been there for him for all the years he'd blundered and stumbled through learning to tame his magic. Now he was a Mage, a fully trained apprentice, however you looked at it.
"Well, you said you wanted to prove you abilities and your valor, but also something else, but what?" Duncan pried gently hoping he might find out more about the skilled Mage before him, after all, the boy had flown through his Harrowing, he must have skill that was exceptional. Vixen looked around like it would put him at risk before relaxing greatly and giving a small grin.
"Well, I'm a Spirit Healer, not exceptionally good, but nonetheless a healer." Vixen states at Duncan's surprised look he grows nervous and his eyes dart around again. Duncan feels surprise well up, a Spirit Healer was a rarity as the means to become one were so close to that of a blood Mage the Templers were always on guard about it. So this boy was bound to a fade Spirit?
"So you have a bond with a Spirit of the Fade?" Duncan asks letting his admiration show through. Vixen is now surprised and suddenly very happy, he grins in his unique way and nods pleased that Duncan hadn't flipped and gotten the Templers called in.
"Yes, although not many know of that talent so I can't train it often. My Spirit it one of… Oh I have to go, forgive my interruption. I hope you find what your mind has not yet chosen." Vixen looked out seeing Owane and remembered his task becoming skittish again as he bowed and quickly moved off. Duncan blinked at the odd behavior and shook his head, something was going on, and he had a feeling it would soon come to a head.
"I need a rod of fire." Vixen states eyeing Owane like he was a predator, truly everyone was, if Vixen was found out he'd be dead. He really needed to stop psyching himself out. Owane looked at Vixen blankly sending icy, unpleasant chills up Vixen's spine.
"Your reason for requesting a rod of fire?" Owane asks with his strange monotone voice, only increasing Vixen's unease. Vixen blinked his mind momentarily blanking.
"Research." Vixen replies hoping the hesitation did not throw him under a metaphorical wagon. Owane blinked his eyes little holes of nothingness that just unnerved Vixen further.
"I'll mark research on the form then. Please have a senior Enchanter sign the request form then hand it back to me." Owane stated as emotionless as a nail. Vixen took the form and sighed at how incredibly annoying this all was, how treacherous everything was, how much of a filthy piece of trash he was being, and how unfair it was that Jowan was with Lily.
Walking away Vixen just brewed on how fucked up his life suddenly became in the last few hours. It went from hey you are a new Mage to hey you need to help fuck over your best friend's life. Vixen just sulked into Irving's office and held out the form looking off to the side blankly as Irving chuckled and singed the form. He then told Vixen of the little statue that faced the decaying wall and how the rod would help if he used it on that. Nodding Vixen took the form and left. He just couldn't bring himself to even try to act cheery because he just couldn't pull his depression out of his hole until he saw Jowan.
"I've got the rod, now what?" Vixen asks sounding as normal as his twisting gut would allow, at least he wasn't acting as depressed as he felt. Jowan smiled and Vixen felt his gut twist almost painfully. Lily smiled and Vixen felt an urge to just zap her since it was obvious Lily was the one who planed this but refrained from doing so. It wasn't worth hurting Jowan even more than he would be already. Vixen pushes a sad smile forward and listens as Lily explains what they had to do now.
"Alright come on, I'll go first then Jowan five minutes later, then Lily five minutes after Jowan to keep things as unsuspicious as possible." Vixen states as he walks away and towards the door to the repository on the first floor. Vixen walked through the libraries and halls with an angry look on his face that kept anyone from getting near him. He reached the door with no questions and no one following him. He was joined after a twenty minute wait by Lily and Jowan. Vixen took a deep breath before continuing on, which earned looks of worry, Jowan, and a calculated suspicion, Lily.
"This door represents the first Order of Templers and is made with each plank of wood representing one of the first Templers. It needs to be primed with the password then must feel the touch of mana to open, any spell will do." Lily explains Vixen already knows Jowan can't open the door from Erving and so he just nods. Lily turns away and raises a hand to the door bowing her head.
"Sword of the Maker, Tears of the Fade." Lily murmurs before turning back to look at them. Vixen twitched having heard some strange noise that almost sounded like a ward dropping while Jowan smiles in a sickly sweet way, at least in Vixen's eyes, at Lily. Vixen stepped forward and threw out his hand casting a weak frost spell at it; with a click the door unlocked allowing Vixen to push it open.
They walked to the next door and Vixen held in a sigh of frustration as he spotted the wards written along the door frame, Erving had not told him why they would not get past this one. Now that he knew he felt like laughing, but the others didn't notice and Vixen rolled his eyes, dumb asses. They had him use the rod on the door but when nothing happened they began to panic, Vixen got irritated when they muttered about the rod being broken. He looked pointedly at the door frame and its glyphs and runes.
"Oh no the runes on the door repel magic. How do you keep a Mage from something? Make their powers useless!" Lily ranted, Vixen's eye twitched, he could use a dagger and short sword like a rogue, he could also pick locks, but he didn't want anyone to know about that. The point was a Mage was not always powerless once magic was taken away. He looked over and pointed out the other door and they went that way. He really hated Lily, why on earth Jowan was with the bitch was beyond him. Then again he could never explain why exactly he had fallen for a man like Jowan, who often acted as if his powers were a curse.
Vixen glared at Lily several times as suits of armor and Mage spirits came and she shuddered and said they were not of the Maker. Oh yes they were, the spirits anyway, the armor must have been enchanted but the ghosts were not figments made by men. When they finally reached the section of the repository that Erving had explained Vixen felt relief that it was all almost over. Then guilt rushed through him in an agonizing wave. He walked up to a statue trying to ignore the painful throbbing in his heart. Now was not the time to throw up.
"Look around; maybe there is something that will help us." Vixen sighed ignoring Jowan's worried glances. The statue began to speak and of course Lily freaked and said it was not of the Maker and it was evil etc. Vixen was interested though, it spoke of Archons, Tevinter rulers, and of magic that was strange to him. He wanted to know more this was interesting beyond words for the curious Mage. He couldn't feel malicious intent come from it so what was the problem? Oh right Lily was a Chantry bitch. That explained it.
"Hey, the mortar is decayed on this wall; help me move this book shelf!" Jowan yelped finally drawing attention away from Vixen and his fixation with the Tevinter statue. Walking over Vixen struggled with Jowan to move the book shelf, he was not strong by any means when fighting with something other than a staff he relied heavily on speed and precision. He was able to help Jowan move the heavy book case though. Panting his arms shaking after moving something about ten times his own weight Vixen stopped for a few moments as Jowan looked over the wall.
"What's this?" Vixen asks looking over a statue that resembled a sitting wolf, but it seemed too dog like. He knew what it could do, Erving had explained this and Vixen knew Jowan would know as well. After all Vixen had read the same book as the other and it did mention these.
"Oh that? It looks like those statues the Tevinters used as focus point for their magic; it's supposed to amplify any spell cast through it." Jowan vibrated with joy that one of the old tomes had after all had been useful. Then Vixen was being told to use the rod of fire on it, sighing he pulled in his anxiety and placed the tip of the bone white rod on the wolf head then activated the rod. A jet of flames shot from the wolf's muzzle with enough force to blow away the decayed wall.
"Oh Creators, what in the Beyond did they put in this thing?" Vixen coughs looking at the rod rubbing at his eyes as the debris settled and the dust grating his throat settled. Lily now glared at him and he gave her one severely venomous glare right back telling her he'd noticed and she blinked in shock and looked away. Jowan had not seemed to have noticed as they continued.
They ran into three more suits of armor that attacked them. While he let Lily and Jowan take on the two weaker ones, he quickly engaged the stronger of the three. Vixen was glad he'd found a metal staff and was able to use it to block the mace the damn mail swung at him. Dodging Vixen managed to bring up his staff and slam the end of it into the armor's back as he let lose a jet of fire that effectively busted it apart. Jumping closer to the other two he helped finish the last two, frost spells doing wonders.
"Wow… Where did you learn to use your staff like that?" Jowan breathed looking at Vixen in wonder, having seen the Mage strike out with his staff as well as magic. Blushing Vixen shifted on his feet uncomfortably. Shrugging Vixen quickly suggested they look for Jowan's phylactery and they quickly walked up the steps to a small platform, packed with vials of all shapes and sizes that contained what first glance could be passed off as healing potion, but Vixen knew within the each of the vials rested the life essence of an apprentice, and the Templars closest form of a leash. He walked to the back edge to stay away from Jowan and Lily and half heartedly glanced over the vials. A familiar name caught his eye and he felt his heart plummet.
"I found it." Vixen calls picking up the small vial that was rather simple and feeling bile rise as he handed it to Jowan. Keeping his vomit down, he watched as Jowan looked at the small thing in wonder. Lily became antsy and for once Vixen agreed with her, haste would be great right now. Jowan muttered about how strange it was that such a small vial was the only thing keeping him from freedom. Vixen inwardly scoffed but felt guilt and hesitance rise in his gut.
"A shame mine was already taken to Denerim." Vixen sighs looking at the vial as Jowan finally let it fall and as it shattered leaving a star shaped smear of blood and glass shards Vixen felt a wave of urgency hit him.
"Would you destroy yours if it was here?" Jowan asks, Vixen looks away pain searing him. No, he wouldn't because so many things were not what they needed to be for that to happen. Jowan being with Lily was one of the main reasons. Walking past the love birds he felt bile rise in his throat again.
"It's not here so let's just get out of here." Vixen muttered dragging his staff behind him up to the door they had failed to open earlier shoving it open and wincing as a short burst of electric energy ran through the door shocking his hand but he didn't care. Couldn't bring himself to care as he saw Jowan and Lily hug and share a sweet kiss, that wounded Vixen further. Vixen couldn't take it threw the metal staff at the wall and ran down the hall up the stairs and burst onto the stairs tripping and collapsing on the steps just lying their trying not to cry and failing.
Jowan and Lily came not long after Vixen had lost his inner fight and started crying, where Lily got suspicious Jowan miss read him and told him not to worry he'd miss him too but they'd always be friends. Vixen cried harder hugged Jowan quickly then pushed him towards the stairs. Standing and pulling Jowan with him he stood at the top with his confused friend.
"G-go you don't have t-" Vixen began but he suddenly saw Gregor and Irving walk in and just groaned and fell to his knees again shaking his head. Irving cast him a worried look, but Gregor looked pissed. Vixen wrapped his arms around his waist trying to hold himself together shaking as he looked at the floor feeling a cold numbness eat at him.
"What… Vixen?!" Jowan looked down at his friend anger and betrayal written on his face. Vixen just winced and continued to look down not standing as Gregor marched over to Lily. Vixen kept his head down the tears slipping from his eyes and dripping from the tip of his nose to the ground, a puddle was slowly forming as he herd Gregor tell Irving he was right and Lily was to go to the Mage's prison. Vixen looked up shocked but suddenly Jowan's look of shocked betrayal snapped to unbridled rage.
"No, I won't let you hurt her!" Jowan snarled stepping forward and drawing a knife. Vixen saw this and reacted without thought jumping he whirled standing between Jowan and the others.
"Jowan stop!" He cried but Jowan gave him a cold glare as the dagger came down, and into his out stretched palm. Vixen watched in numb horror as a wave of blood and dark magic swirled up from Jowan's bleeding hand. Vixen shook his head looking at Jowan with fear and guilt and a mix of many other emotions.
With a sudden surge of strength from his sprit Vixen raised his own hands as the dark magic struck out at him. With a cry to his spirit Vixen held out his hands a blue barrier forming to take most of the damage. Unfortunately the two clashing forces created a backlash of energy and the remaining dark magic broke through the depleted barrier it sliced at Vixen as the backlash threw him, the Templers and First Enchanter to the ground.
When Vixen opened his eyes again he quickly sat up ignoring the throbbing in his chest mistaking it for heartbreak. Looking over seeing the First Enchanter and the Templers on the ground sent panic through him, scrambling to his feet he quickly moved to Irving's side. Looking the man over he was relived the only thing wrong was he'd been knocked unconscious from the force of the backlash. Taking a deep breath he sent a wave of healing magic around him effectively waking the First Enchanter, as well as all the other ass holes. Wonderful, Vixen thought bitterly.
"Are you alright? Where's Gregor? " Irving asked lifting his head blinking in shock Vixen gestures to the Templar commander who is getting up already. Irving turned away and Vixen just looked around at the dark stain the foul magic had left and the shocked Templers who were slowly standing blinking like owls under their helms.
"I knew it… Blood Magic! But to over come so many… I though him incapable of such power." Gregor rambled and Vixen glared his pain over shadowed by rage. Jowan was a good Mage and a strong one, he just lacked the courage to use his power, and how dare Gregor call him weak! But Vixen's biting retort was suddenly drowned in guilty agony.
"I… He said he wasn't a Blood Mage… Jowan lied to me." Vixen whimpers while helping Irving stand fearing for the elderly Mage. Irving pats Vixen's shoulder, no one noticing the beginning of a crimson stain blooming across Vixen's abdomen yet.
"No one expected this." Irving stated with conviction before becoming concerned. "Are you all right?" Irving asks the vexed looking Templar who only seemed to puff up further. He glared and shot Irving a look full of ire.
"As good as can be expected considering the situation! Had you let me act sooner this could have been avoided!" Gregor snarls but then takes a deep breath to calm his rising temper before he started a shouting match. Vixen feels his legs weaken but ignores it in favor of glaring at Gregor. "Now we have a Blood Mage on the loose with no way of tracking him down." Gregor sighed anger flaring up near the end.
"I'm sure you can catch up to him he can't have gone far." Vixen sighs and Gregor snaps him a glare before turning away hearing Irving sigh under his breath.
"I assure you we'll use our every resource, now where's the girl?" Gregor snaps looking over towards where Lily had last been. Vixen looked away not able to meet her accusing glare looking down he blinks at the red on his robes absently wondering when he'd gotten cut. Gregor earns his attention again by speaking up.
"You've aided a Blood Mage! Look at everyone he's hurt!" Vixen can't stand it and takes a few steps forward deciding now was the best time to start standing up for the right thing instead of a duty that had killed him.
"She did it out of love, she had no idea Jowan was a Blood Mage!" Vixen snapped getting a glare from Gregor and Lily and a sigh from Irving. Looking down Vixen shut up flinching at Lily's harsh words.
"I need no help from you." Lily hissed getting a flinch from Vixen, Irving pat his shoulder as they led the little chantry bitch away. Vixen just kept his eyes on the ground looking at the red patch on his chest and wondering if it would have the mercy of killing him already.
"And you, you were in a repository filled with magic that was locked away for a reason!" Gregor snapped rounding on Vixen, somehow missing the crimson burst across the gold colored robes.
"Did you take anything?" Irving asks trying to avoid a confrontation between the two. Vixen shook his head; he hadn't touched anything besides the bookshelf and wolf statue. Vixen got no reprieve.
"Yet your antics have made a mockery of this Circle!" Gregor snaps he sighs and glares Vixen down before letting out a sigh that almost sounded like a bark, "What are we to do with you?" Vixen glared and puffed up, deciding he may as well aim for a quick death.
"You mean I made a mockery of the Templars! Do what you will; I have nothing more to lose." Vixen snarls his eyes flashing with pent up pain and anger; a dangerous combination. He felt light headed and a distant wave of panic from his spirit. Irving momentarily panicked but still did not notice the blood that now covered most of the chest of Vixen's robes.
"As I said he was working under my orders." Irving states as he crosses his arms not seeming to lose his cool. Gregor glares and puffs up reminding Vixen of two rosters facing off, a cock fight of the ages a grin pulled at him but it was a ghost and blew away with his next breath. Vixen holds in a groan as his chest throbs painfully and he wraps an arm around himself as he watches the two throw verbal punches.
"That improves the situation? The phylactery chamber is forbidden to all save you and me!" Vixen wondered if Gregor could sound anymore like a breathless dog. These two fought like a married couple Vixen thinks with annoyance.
"I had my reasons." Irving states coolly as if Gregor and him weren't fighting like children. Vixen rolls his eyes but the action causes him to become light headed and he sways on his feet for a moment.
"You're not all knowing Irving! Who knows how much influence the Blood Mage could have had! How are we to deal with this!?" Vixen scoffs; Jowan had no influence because he talked to no one and a quicker death would be real nice. At that moment foot steps behind him alerted Vixen to the fact someone new was entering the fray.
"Knight Commander if I may, I'm not just recruiting Mages for the King's army, I am recruiting for the Grey Wardens as well. Irving spoke highly of Vixen, and I would like him to join the Warden ranks." Vixen swayed again but cracked a weak grin as Gregor eyes bugged out to the size of dinner plates.
"What! You promised him a NEW Grey Warden?" Gregor is completely shocked. Vixen grins at the flabbergasted look not yet catching the gist of the conversation. Duncan looked over and blinked in shock, how had no one noticed the large crimson stain that was quickly consuming the front of the new Mage's robes. In fact most of the gold chest had turned dark with blood. How was Vixen even standing?
"He has served the circle well. He'd make an excellent Grey Warden." Irving hums back. Vixen watches and tries to keep his mind clear as it gets harder to focus. Duncan moves forward and places a hand on the ailing Mage's shoulder before handing him a healing potion; it would hopefully help slow if not stop the bleeding. Vixen looked at Duncan nodded his thanks and drank the potion feeling the effects almost immediately. The wound was healed, or at least closed but his light headedness wasn't going away. He placed one hand over the red spot the looked down at it, his hand was painted red. He momentarily wondered if the cloth was that soaked how he was still standing but then Duncan moved closer to the two.
"We look for dedication in our recruits. Vixen has shown he has this in spades and fighting the Darkspawn requires that kind of dedication, often like this at the expense of all else." Duncan states he really wanted the argument to end so Vixen could be healed then they could leave all the sooner. He was anxious to leave and get back to his King who he had sworn to protect.
"I object! You say he did this under your orders, Irving, but I do not trust him. I must investigate this and I will not release this Mage to the Grey Wardens." Vixen glares he was more than just a Mage, he was an elf, and he did have a name. Then it clicked, they were fighting about him becoming a Grey Warden. Vixen wondered in he could slip away and hide in his closet but decided against it. Fate was a fickle bitch; if he were to be a Warden he was going to be one, even if they had to drag him kicking and screaming.
"Gregor, Mages, especially this Mage, are needed. Worse things than Blood Mages prowl this world and you know this. I take this Mage under my wing and bear all responsibility for his actions." Duncan takes a step back and to the side placing a hand on Vixen's shoulder. Vixen looks at the hand slightly numb as he realizes what this means. He'll leave this all behind. He'll be thrown to whatever world awaits outside. Mages were hated and feared. What was Duncan thinking!? He'd be torn apart, he may be able to fight close quarters without his magic but that had never been truly tested.
He was jumping out of the soup pot and into the fire. At least the soup pot he'd been with other vegetables and meat bits like him, now he was going to become charcoal, if that. Vixen was rambling in his head, the blood loss messing with his brain as he got the mental image of a soup pot labeled circle of magi filled with little vegetable and meat bits with eyes looking out at him from the broth and the world surrounding it a fire that kept the little Mages and apprentices cooking because the Templar broth didn't like them raw.
Vixen swayed and nearly fell over but Duncan moved his grip to his arm holding him up and giving him a worried glance. Vixen spots a smudge on the Warden's armor and wonder's if the man knows.
"There's a smudge on your armor. Thought you'd like to know." Vixen states, although his words fade a little and finally he faints as the blood loss catches up to him. Duncan catches him and looks slightly baffled as he pulls the Mage back up, slightly surprised the elf was as light as he was. Irving was quick to act and showed Duncan to the Mage's room everyone finally noticing the blood on the young elf's chest. Irving went and found the only other Spirit Healer besides Wynne and brought him up to Vixen's room, and waited with Duncan and Gregor as the senior enchanter scanned Vixen and used a few other spells to heal the minimal damage left.
"Well will he be alright?" Irving asks, and the man nods. Gregor glowers and mutters about Mages and their irritating habits. The man looked at Gregor with contempt. He turns back and does a few final scans before sighing in annoyance.
"Besides the substantial amount of blood he lost he's fine now. I had to heal some very minor internal damage, but besides that the gash on his chest was healed. The robes make it difficult to examine his wounds to double check but I am sure the healing potion he was given was enough to heal that damage, although an attack from Blood Magic never heals right. He'll have a nasty scar and he should wake up soon." The man gestures behind him at the immobile elf and his eyes say he wants to say more.
"Vixen is a strong Mage; powerful and intelligent… He was also rather interested in the Creation school… In healing, although I must say, he is quite skilled with the Primal school, it was his little gift. The boy could easily draw attention from spirit and demon alike." The man looks at Irving and let's the realization sink in, Gregor rolled his eyes missing the point entirely.
"Do you think he could bond with a spirit and become a Spirit Healer?" Irving asks curious and fishing for more information. The healer smirks and gives the First Enchanter what he wants.
"I think he already is. He seems to be at a novice level however, perhaps when Wynne returns she could help fine tune his skills. Unless of course what I heard is correct and he's leaving the Circle for the Warden?" He cracks a grin at Gregor's sudden tension and ruffled state. He'd been aiming to kick the man like this and wasn't disappointed.
"This Mage does not deserve the chance!" Gregor snarls, Irving snaps a glare his way, Neither notice Vixen had woken up a while ago and was watching them. He sits up blinking to clear his vision. He goes back to watching the two big boys fight.
"Why not? He served the Circle well, do we not reward service?" Irving asks Vixen looks as if he wants to laugh but to Duncan's surprise doesn't hold it back. It just bubbled from the pale throat, sounding strangely hollow.
"One, you make it sound as if I fell in love with the Warden Commander, and second that wasn't service. That was being blindly dedicated to duty and stabbing my friend in the back. Dedication indeed. Doing what it takes even if the final results kill you." Vixen sounds slightly bitter but he relaxes as he stands up looking at both First Enchanter and Knight Commander, where he did feel a bit light headed it was far from as bad as it had been.
"You have a chance few dream of. Do not waste it, child." Irving urges him, instead anger flashes in Vixen's eyes. He glares for a moment his eyes assessing before he completely relaxes and snaps closed like a door. Irving is shocked, Vixen had never shut him out, had never been able to.
"A chance few dream of because it's consciences. I'm not naïve; the world hates Mages with a passion. So I'm to leave then, after all I am needed in a world that despises not only the fact I'm a mage but my elven heritage as well. Wonderful." Vixen accents his last word with a roll of his eyes before he continues, "After all it's that or conscription, and as I recall the Chantry has no authority over that, and can do nothing." Vixen adds the last as a jab at Gregor, his emotional mask already the back hand to Irving; Vixen wanted would go out with a bang damn it!
"Be proud, you are luckier than you know." Irving insists and Vixen cracks a smirk at that, it wasn't a grin; it was a full blown smirk. It screamed he had suddenly gained an advantage. The Healer watched this game and silently applauded Vixen's ability to play. After all, Irving was the master and Vixen was kicking his ass. This would be talked about for weeks.
"Oh? I was taught pride was the Mages' downfall, First Enchanter. I have no pride for what has brought to me nothing but a hard and harrowing future, but I'll persevere, because that is how being a Mage works. Our lives are always threatened by both our own minds and others who wish us dead so we don't pose a threat. I guess the Chantry likes to think of us like cockroaches. We can live with our heads hypothetically chopped off. We survive even when caged like dogs. Made to be less human, and yet more human than they could be for it. Or at least, some of us." Vixen's last jab takes everyone off guard, because he had thrown a harsh insult out to hang, it could be directed at anyone and everyone in the room, a true masters play. The healer silently applauded. Vixen had a silver tongue indeed, and Maker it was sharp.
Irving was speechless, he couldn't believe he'd been beaten at his own game by such a fresh Mage. Gregor was taken aback by how hostile the boy had turned yet wasn't at the same time, it was eerily similar to what Irving could do, but Gregor could get under his skin, he couldn't do that to this Mage. Vixen looked at Duncan and waited, the man's eyes shown with admiration, he'd just shook Irving to the core, a feat few had preformed with such finesse.
"Come your new life awaits." Duncan states stretching his arm out as a silent invitation to walk past the door it was extended toward. Vixen nods although thinks his 'new' life started the moment he opened his eyes. When he realized the Chantry had succeeded in controlling Circle Mages far better than they could have ever hoped.
By giving the illusion of security and safety within their own ranks, when in reality they were their own worst enemies. For a Mage requires strength of mind, and that in and of it's self was one of the worst weapons a man or woman could posses. Irving had opened his eyes, and no longer would he let himself be open to such manipulation. He'd lost it all and gained opened eyes, somehow Vixen felt like he'd died and come back, his spirit sent comforting waves through him, trying to help ease his pain. He felt cold.
He was a Mage, yes, but he was far from being an obedient dog. He was more akin to a cat or as his name suggested a fox. He was wild not meant to be collared and had finally bitten the hand that had collared him to a gilded cage. As they walked out the front door a few Mages looked at him and understanding shown in their eyes, they knew that he knew. He nodded to his mentors who bowed their heads in respect back and smiled, proud he'd opened his eyes. Not everyone it seemed was cold hearted as he'd felt.
He took a step out the doors being the first to leave Duncan had stopped and given him that and it meant too much for words from Vixen. His fire came roaring back, like the rush of fresh air that blew into him once out side carried with it a spark to reignite him and the fire was stronger and brighter, a new flame to burn for his new life.
He walked side by side with Duncan out the door and for once felt equal to the man.
A/N: Hope you liked and hope I did a good job. Read on my fellows read on.