I am SO sorry for my lateness with this. I just put it down and completely
forgot about it. Please forgive me! And if you're still willing to
read it, thank you, and I adore all your comments, thank you all!
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It was some hours before the maintenence crew was able to fix the damage to the gondola, and Cid and I managed to lightly doze until what I imagine was about two in the morning. Unfortunately the crew did finish, and we found ourselves on the ground shortly afterward.
We shuffled off to our room.
The inviting darkness of the hotel was absolutely lovely. Most of the bright lights had gone off for the night, except for those in the restaurant and arcades, but we couldn't see them from our suite anyway. Cid didn't waste any words on the pleasant, gentle atmosphere of the dim room, he simply stripped to his skin (with only a brief pause to decide that his underclothes were probably too soiled to sleep in comfortably) and climbed into bed.
I stretched, yawned, and began to undress myself. My body felt sated in a way that I hadn't been for many years, and the delicious exhaustion in my muscles reminded me that I had probably needed it as much as Cid had, if not more. It also reminded me that I was going to be sore in the morning, and I resolved to stand as much as possible. Cid had the right idea, I thought, and just pulled off my several layers of clothing. I had never slept naked for comfort's sake before, but it seemed like the thing to do, so I did.
As I turned down the sheets, I stole a glance at the Captain's sleeping face.
It was the same as always; the perpetual stubble that scoffed at any razor, the thick, white-blond eyebrows relaxed in place over the crystal blue eyes. His hair, touseled and- although I would never say it out loud- unbearably endearing, if not downright cute, fell over his forehead in spikes and wisps. I smiled. I didn't really know if our friendship would still remain intact in the morning, but even if it did, I could still have this. This moment, when his whole body was relaxed and satisfied, and his face held that ethereal, moonlit peace, would be mine until my heart stopped.
I smiled to myself. Cid would sleep well tonight, and somehow, knowing that made me feel as though that everything- Sephiroth, Cloud, the Meteor, Shinra, and even Lucrecia and Hojo and I, in a way- would all be all right. The more I thought about it, that's what Cid was, boiled down; even through his rough exterior and horrible language and repulsive smoking, he was still the feeling of happiness and freedom and the sky. As long as his eyes were that same shade of blue, and his hair still shone like the sun and the clouds, I felt like everything was right in the world.
Even if our friendship didn't live past sunrise, he was still himself, and everything would be okay.
I had no sooner recognized the sting of tears welling in my eyes, and sat down on my bed, that Cid's gruff voice rumbled up out of his sleepiness.
"What're you doin', Vincent, get yer ass in here. S'cold."
"You want me to...?"
He sat up and tried to look at me, but his eyes were so unfocused that he ended up looking at something slightly to my right. "You mean ta tell me you brought me up in a gondola an' fucked my half-fried brains out, an' you think you're sleepin' alone? Get in here. It's cold," he muttered. Then he lay down, wrapped up under the covers, and yawned. "Ass... thinkin'm not gon..." and he trailed off, grumbling in a half-sleep.
And what else could I do? I just crawled under the blankets and curled up against his body, which, if you ask me, wasn't really cold at all.
I woke to the smells of hot coffee and something powerfully sweet. I sat up, stretched, and found Cid, sitting at the edge of the bed with a racing form in one hand and a donut in the other.
"Morn'ig," he said through his mouthful.
"Good morning," I replied. Was Cid going to act as though it had never happened? It made sense. Well, it was better than us not speaking or feeling awkward, and we could still be friends. "What time is it?"
"'Bout ten thirty."
"Ten-thirty? Usually we're checked out and on the road by nine, have I overslept?"
Cid shook his head. "Nah. The others are still trying for that top prize in the Battle Square, so we're gonna stay another night. They'll be at it all day."
"I see."
The heavy, uncomfortable silence permeated the room again. I didn't really have a good way to bring it up, and I didn't want to say anything at all if Cid would rather just forget about what happened. So, instead, I just sat quietly and looked for my clothes.
"It's past dawn, you know," he said nonchalantly.
I had my back to him at that point, and I froze. "Yes.. it is," I said cautiously. I wasn't sure what he would say next, but Cid being calm is more unnerving than Cid being rambunctious, and the part of my mind that has irrational fears wondered if he was going to kick me off the team entirely.
"You said it could wait 'til dawn and I'm not waiting anymore. What the fuck was that all about, Vincent?" He spun in his chair to face my bare back. "Out of nowhere you dragged me up to a carnival ride and seduced me. What the Hell did you do that for?"
He sounded angrier than he probably meant to, but I couldn't afford to take chances. "You needed sleep," I said quietly. "I didn't know how else to take your mind off of what was going on and--"
"Bullshit!" he spat. "If you wanted to do that you would've got me drunk. What's the real reason, Vince? And don't lie to me, I know when you're lying. The hair on the back of your neck stands up when you lie."
I didn't answer. How could I tell him that I'd been lusting after him- not even lusting, really, just smitten with him. I cursed myself for my lack of control. How could I have gotten myself into this? Finally, I just sighed. "You needed sleep, Cid. You needed to be exhausted, with nothing else on your mind to keep you awake. You were an absolute wreck."
"You really expect me to believe that you just jumped me in a gondola because I needed to go to sleep?" he asked. "So you really mean to say that you did it just for that, it could've been anywhere, anytime, anybody, and you woulda fucked 'em to let 'em get some rest? What the Hell, Vincent!?" Cid stood up and came around in front of me, glaring and upset. "Is that really all there was to it?!"
Suddenly, having him in my face just tripped some wire in me, and I grabbed him by the collar. "Do you want the truth, Highwind? Yes, I did it because you were stressed to the point of where you might have had a heart attack, thanks to those disgusting things you've always got in your mouth. And yes, I did it because smoking like a chimney and shuffling around like a half-crazed lunatic is not only a hindrance to you but a threat to our team and because of that, a threat to our very Planet. But no, that's not all there is to it. I did have a selfish reason for taking you up into a carnival ride, seducing you, and letting you fuck me into the floor." Here I pulled him up onto the bed, pinned him down, and straddled his waist, just as I had the night before. "I did it because I wanted to do it, and obviously you didn't have much of a problem with it, or did you forget screaming my name?"
I didn't expect a broad, heavy arm to come sweeping me off his body and onto my back, and soon I found I had a very large and angry pilot sitting on my stomach. "No, I didn't forget, you arrogant sonuvabitch," he said, his huge hands holding my shoulders down. "And I wasn't plannin' on it either, and I still ain't. So you're gonna come clean with me right now or I'm just gonna pop you one in the fuckin' mouth for screwing with me like this, you understand? Now, out with it!"
I couldn't keep myself from glaring at him and baring my teeth. How dare he be upset? He was the one who was always so ambiguous about things between us, always dropping little flirtatious hints and comments! "Fine! You want to hear me say it, Captain? All right, yes, I'm infatuated with you, and I have been for awhile, but if it wasn't your intention to let me know that you were interested, then you're a cruel, miserable bastard for stringing me along! Now get off m--!"
I never finished my sentence. All the anger and fear in me washed away, as soon as I felt Cid's kiss on my lips, and his hands in my hair.
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It was some hours before the maintenence crew was able to fix the damage to the gondola, and Cid and I managed to lightly doze until what I imagine was about two in the morning. Unfortunately the crew did finish, and we found ourselves on the ground shortly afterward.
We shuffled off to our room.
The inviting darkness of the hotel was absolutely lovely. Most of the bright lights had gone off for the night, except for those in the restaurant and arcades, but we couldn't see them from our suite anyway. Cid didn't waste any words on the pleasant, gentle atmosphere of the dim room, he simply stripped to his skin (with only a brief pause to decide that his underclothes were probably too soiled to sleep in comfortably) and climbed into bed.
I stretched, yawned, and began to undress myself. My body felt sated in a way that I hadn't been for many years, and the delicious exhaustion in my muscles reminded me that I had probably needed it as much as Cid had, if not more. It also reminded me that I was going to be sore in the morning, and I resolved to stand as much as possible. Cid had the right idea, I thought, and just pulled off my several layers of clothing. I had never slept naked for comfort's sake before, but it seemed like the thing to do, so I did.
As I turned down the sheets, I stole a glance at the Captain's sleeping face.
It was the same as always; the perpetual stubble that scoffed at any razor, the thick, white-blond eyebrows relaxed in place over the crystal blue eyes. His hair, touseled and- although I would never say it out loud- unbearably endearing, if not downright cute, fell over his forehead in spikes and wisps. I smiled. I didn't really know if our friendship would still remain intact in the morning, but even if it did, I could still have this. This moment, when his whole body was relaxed and satisfied, and his face held that ethereal, moonlit peace, would be mine until my heart stopped.
I smiled to myself. Cid would sleep well tonight, and somehow, knowing that made me feel as though that everything- Sephiroth, Cloud, the Meteor, Shinra, and even Lucrecia and Hojo and I, in a way- would all be all right. The more I thought about it, that's what Cid was, boiled down; even through his rough exterior and horrible language and repulsive smoking, he was still the feeling of happiness and freedom and the sky. As long as his eyes were that same shade of blue, and his hair still shone like the sun and the clouds, I felt like everything was right in the world.
Even if our friendship didn't live past sunrise, he was still himself, and everything would be okay.
I had no sooner recognized the sting of tears welling in my eyes, and sat down on my bed, that Cid's gruff voice rumbled up out of his sleepiness.
"What're you doin', Vincent, get yer ass in here. S'cold."
"You want me to...?"
He sat up and tried to look at me, but his eyes were so unfocused that he ended up looking at something slightly to my right. "You mean ta tell me you brought me up in a gondola an' fucked my half-fried brains out, an' you think you're sleepin' alone? Get in here. It's cold," he muttered. Then he lay down, wrapped up under the covers, and yawned. "Ass... thinkin'm not gon..." and he trailed off, grumbling in a half-sleep.
And what else could I do? I just crawled under the blankets and curled up against his body, which, if you ask me, wasn't really cold at all.
I woke to the smells of hot coffee and something powerfully sweet. I sat up, stretched, and found Cid, sitting at the edge of the bed with a racing form in one hand and a donut in the other.
"Morn'ig," he said through his mouthful.
"Good morning," I replied. Was Cid going to act as though it had never happened? It made sense. Well, it was better than us not speaking or feeling awkward, and we could still be friends. "What time is it?"
"'Bout ten thirty."
"Ten-thirty? Usually we're checked out and on the road by nine, have I overslept?"
Cid shook his head. "Nah. The others are still trying for that top prize in the Battle Square, so we're gonna stay another night. They'll be at it all day."
"I see."
The heavy, uncomfortable silence permeated the room again. I didn't really have a good way to bring it up, and I didn't want to say anything at all if Cid would rather just forget about what happened. So, instead, I just sat quietly and looked for my clothes.
"It's past dawn, you know," he said nonchalantly.
I had my back to him at that point, and I froze. "Yes.. it is," I said cautiously. I wasn't sure what he would say next, but Cid being calm is more unnerving than Cid being rambunctious, and the part of my mind that has irrational fears wondered if he was going to kick me off the team entirely.
"You said it could wait 'til dawn and I'm not waiting anymore. What the fuck was that all about, Vincent?" He spun in his chair to face my bare back. "Out of nowhere you dragged me up to a carnival ride and seduced me. What the Hell did you do that for?"
He sounded angrier than he probably meant to, but I couldn't afford to take chances. "You needed sleep," I said quietly. "I didn't know how else to take your mind off of what was going on and--"
"Bullshit!" he spat. "If you wanted to do that you would've got me drunk. What's the real reason, Vince? And don't lie to me, I know when you're lying. The hair on the back of your neck stands up when you lie."
I didn't answer. How could I tell him that I'd been lusting after him- not even lusting, really, just smitten with him. I cursed myself for my lack of control. How could I have gotten myself into this? Finally, I just sighed. "You needed sleep, Cid. You needed to be exhausted, with nothing else on your mind to keep you awake. You were an absolute wreck."
"You really expect me to believe that you just jumped me in a gondola because I needed to go to sleep?" he asked. "So you really mean to say that you did it just for that, it could've been anywhere, anytime, anybody, and you woulda fucked 'em to let 'em get some rest? What the Hell, Vincent!?" Cid stood up and came around in front of me, glaring and upset. "Is that really all there was to it?!"
Suddenly, having him in my face just tripped some wire in me, and I grabbed him by the collar. "Do you want the truth, Highwind? Yes, I did it because you were stressed to the point of where you might have had a heart attack, thanks to those disgusting things you've always got in your mouth. And yes, I did it because smoking like a chimney and shuffling around like a half-crazed lunatic is not only a hindrance to you but a threat to our team and because of that, a threat to our very Planet. But no, that's not all there is to it. I did have a selfish reason for taking you up into a carnival ride, seducing you, and letting you fuck me into the floor." Here I pulled him up onto the bed, pinned him down, and straddled his waist, just as I had the night before. "I did it because I wanted to do it, and obviously you didn't have much of a problem with it, or did you forget screaming my name?"
I didn't expect a broad, heavy arm to come sweeping me off his body and onto my back, and soon I found I had a very large and angry pilot sitting on my stomach. "No, I didn't forget, you arrogant sonuvabitch," he said, his huge hands holding my shoulders down. "And I wasn't plannin' on it either, and I still ain't. So you're gonna come clean with me right now or I'm just gonna pop you one in the fuckin' mouth for screwing with me like this, you understand? Now, out with it!"
I couldn't keep myself from glaring at him and baring my teeth. How dare he be upset? He was the one who was always so ambiguous about things between us, always dropping little flirtatious hints and comments! "Fine! You want to hear me say it, Captain? All right, yes, I'm infatuated with you, and I have been for awhile, but if it wasn't your intention to let me know that you were interested, then you're a cruel, miserable bastard for stringing me along! Now get off m--!"
I never finished my sentence. All the anger and fear in me washed away, as soon as I felt Cid's kiss on my lips, and his hands in my hair.