Okay, this is the dark chapter, the climax of my story and the moment we have all been waiting for. This is pretty much the darkest chapter of the entire series, this is the time where everything changes!
Mucho death, destruction, angst and sadness, public humiliation, murder, child abuse and other such wonderful matters abound in this chapter. This feat of torture was done with the help of much evil collaboration. Main characters will die, that is a promise. This chapter would never see the light of day had it not been for DragonFariex and Kate, my experts on torture, Special thanks to Kishi for introducing me to a bian gan, very useful. Whomever who is a true genius, my most brilliant Cala who contributed description and of course, SarahNev, an angel who guards against typos. Credited to Isaia (apologies for not asking first, but I so wanted to post this, I can take it out if you wish) Avatar Onsui, Avatar YeLin!
Dedicated to all my new reviewers!
Knocking on Heaven's Door
It's getting dark too dark to see
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door
--Bob Dylan
Knocking on Heaven's Door
Zuko stared up at the sunrise in the barred window high above his head. Today was the day that he would die. He was in Fire Nation Waters, it would only be some time before he was taken before his father and brutally killed. He was going to die at sixteen, having lived a life that was an endless sea of misery, punctuated by a few brief but beautiful flickers of joy.
Aiiro, still asleep cuddled up to him. Zuko smiled down on him. Aiiro had been the first person outside the family that Zuko had truly cared about. He had completely fallen under the spell of the younger boy's innocence, he had cared about him as if they had been blood brothers. Now, Zuko had caused his death. Though, had he really? The Fire Lord would have killed him sooner or later.
Zuko tried to order his thoughts as his heart pounded from fear. What does one think about on the last day of living, besides how much pain he was in? He realized how wonderful it was to breathe, how lovely the light seemed. He realized how much he loved Uncle. How he wished he could have gotten the chance to say goodbye.
No, it was better this way. Zuko could not bear to see the pain in his eyes as he was dragged away to his death. Goodbyes were terrible. Zuko understood the Gods had abandoned him but he had one last prayer. Let Uncle's last years be filled with peace, let him not suffer under the Fire Lord's wrath.
He had done so much wickedness, his hands were filled with the stain of evil and cruelty. He had done unspeakable things. Yet, he wanted to pray one last time. He bent down and removed his shoes, to begin the prayer before death, for one had to remove all of one's luxuries before one prayed. It was ironic that he, a prince, only had shoes as a luxury. His clothes were dirty and bedraggled beyond recognition.
"Agni, God of our fathers, I have searched my deeds, but not one thing of merit have I found with which I can come before You." Zuko had not pleased anyone. To Ozai, the man Zuko knew as his father, he had been a disappointment to be abused. To Sakura, his beloved mother, Zuko had been an annoyance to be discarded. To Hotaru, Zuko's sister, he had been a weakling. To Uncle, Zuko's only cherished relative, Zuko had been a burden. If in their eyes, he was so wretched, what did Agni think of him?
"And it is only through prayer and a plea for mercy that I approach." Those villagers had pleaded for mercy, but Zuko had been relentless in his quest. How many people had he hurt? The Avatar and his gang, the Water Tribe Village, the bystanders along the way. He had bullied and attacked so many, he had ruined more lives then he liked to think about.
"Send atonement for my sin; forgive me; purify your servant." Aiiro was purity, Zuko was tainted. He was a failure. If only he had a chance to relive his life, he would appreciate things so much more!
"Shamefaced I stand before You; I know my worthlessness, my baseness, my low station and beggary." An image of him attacking on that Water tribe girl filled his mind. He had lost his temper and become less then a savage!
"But Your mercies and kindnesses are many." That is why Zuko's entire life had been an endless gauntlet of misery, why the world suffered under a hundred years of brutal war. Agni was merciful enough to give man free will to do such evil.
"You are the Sun God, Supreme over all Gods and over forces of nature and Lord over all who see themselves as lords and masters: with the highest crown of all are You crowned." A crown that Zuko had yearned for. He had let others suffer so he could regain a meaningless crown. There were three crowns in the world, the crown of bending, the crown of royalty and the crown of goodness. Zuko had neglected the third crown, the one that was the most important.
"All Your ways are grace and judgment and righteousness;" Zuko deserved no mercy. This was justice, he had failed and now he lost everything. He had fought so hard, he had struggled and now he would be strong enough to lay down his burden and rest. He should not fear death, he was a son of Agni. He feared nothing but his own failure.
"You have loving-kindness and compassion; and to the wicked You show the way to cling to the light of life." Zuko lightly clapped his hands and bowed his head, meditating on his life.
"I didn't know you were religious," the Avatar said, staring at him with those unnaturally bright eyes. There was something different about him today, but Zuko chalked it up to it being their last morning.
"Being a monk, I figured you would be too," the prince finally answered. He had no idea what to say to this strange boy. He didn't understand him at all.
"Prayer brings hope." The Avatar seemed so solemn and resigned. Finally, he behaved with decorum.
"It's false hope. Prayer is a duty, a show of obedience to those above oneself. Expecting miracles only brings more pain. Miracles don't happen," Zuko said coldly, stroking Aiiro's head with a hand.
"Oh, they do. They just are expensive to acquire. " The Avatar sounded very sad at that. His dignified resolve seemed to be breaking slowly. "Everything has a price."
Zuko stared down at Aiiro's little body, spared from a brutal beating. He had felt no pain the entire time, knowing that Aiiro was safe. "It's worth it, sometimes. Other times, it's your duty."
"Duty! I hate that word! Why can't we live our lives by our own choices? Why should we always give up what we want for the greater good?" the Avatar snapped
desperately. His voice was choked with tears.
"Because, we are chosen by fate to be so much more. Everyone in such high places dreams of being ordinary, free of responsibility. Yet, we can only be what we are. I am a Prince of the Fire Nation and you are the Avatar. We owe our lives and our obedience to the people we are sworn to protect. It is our duty to die proudly," Zuko steeled himself. Even if it was a traitor's death.
"Sometimes duty is so lonely and overbearing. Sometimes I just want to say, take this cup away from me, I'm sick of it!" the Avatar complained. "Sometimes I am so afraid, I don't want to do what's expected of me." His chains clinked as he curled up into a ball. "There is so much I want to do, so many things I want to see."
"It is not easy to give up your dreams for duty," Zuko agreed sympathetically. He had dreams that had been sacrificed on the altar of his father's commands.
" Zuko, do you hate me?" the Avater suddenly asked.
Zuko was taken aback. He had hated the Airbender, he had craved his capture and turning him over to a ruthless dictator. "Not anymore."
"So what do you think about me?" the Avatar pressed, looking like he needed the comfort.
Zuko shrugged. "You are an Airbending Monk with powers that rival the gods. You fight well. You are short. You ride on a flying buffalo. You have an arrow on your head. You talk too much. You were my prey. Does that quite cover it?"
"I didn't ask you to describe me. I asked what you think of me as a person," the Avatar asked, sounding a lot older then his few years.
Zuko thought for a moment. "I respect you. You were a worthy opponent," he finally said softly.
"I respect you too. Saving Aiiro like that really took someone with a good heart. Now you can't throw a fireball at me if I asked this. Do you think had we lived before the war, we could have been friends?" the Avatar asked, querying that pesky question that he had put forth when Zuko had saved his life.
Before Zuko could answer, he heard footsteps sounding across the metal floor. Zuko put his finger to his lips for quiet and listened. Around five soldiers were coming, by the rhythms in the floor.
"Take the Avatar first, we can come back for the other two after we have him secured," said the commanding officer. By his clothing, Zuko estimated his rank to be around a sergeant, too low down for Zuko to have known.
The Avatar was pulled to his feet, the chains still weighing him down. Zuko could see how weak the younger boy, but he managed to give a shaky grin as he was pulled down the hall. The poor fool, defiant to the end.
Zuko hated to wake Aiiro but he did not want the little boy harshly awoken by the guards. "Aiiro?" he whispered, stroking the boy's cheek. He wished he could let the boy sleep in peace instead of waking the lamb for the slaughter.
The cerulean eyes opened sleepily. "Master?" the small boy asked, looking confused as he blinked the slumber from his eyes.
Zuko looked down at Aiiro, the younger boy's small features pinched with terror. "You need to wake up," he whispered.
"I dreamed we were free. We aren't, are we?" the boy asked sadly.
Zuko shook his head sadly. "You must get up or they'll hurt you," he urged, stroking the boy's cheek.
"I can't move. I'm frightened," Aiiro whispered, as he tried to rise. The heavy chains obviously too much for his little frame.
"I promised you, I won't let go. They will have to tear us apart. I'll be with you as long as I can," Zuko promised as he pulled gently the boy up. He was wondering, how would he avoid tearing up when his little friend and him were torn apart?
"But what happens if they take you away?" Aiiro pleaded, his voice quivering as he asked the question Zuko had left silent.
"It's going to be all right. No matter what happens today, you are going to a better place. You are going to see your parents again and you will never be parted from them. The next world is beautiful, with trees and flowers. There are palaces made of sweets. You will swim in rivers of sweet mead and it's all always springtime. The air smells like cinnamon and the sun is warm on your shoulder. You will never feel pain anymore, you will never be afraid. Everything will be perfect," Zuko lied, wanting to comfort the little boy. He did not know what the afterlife was, but he hoped that it was a beautiful place for a little soul denied a full life.
"That sounds beautiful. Do you think Fire Nation and Water Tribe go to the same afterlife? You worship Agni and I worship Sedna. Will you be there, Master?" Aiiro asked guilelessly. His blue eyes were the same color as the sky on a perfect day. Zuko wished he could have spent many perfect days with his little friend, running and playing.
Zuko had sinned so much, he would never deserve such a reward for the time he spent here. "I don't know," he answered. "I hope so."
I'll only be happy if you are with me," Aiiro whispered, on the verge of tears.
"Aiiro, you must not cry at what you see today. They are going to do terrible things to me. You can't cry out if they make you watch. Just close your eyes and be strong," Zuko said. Perhaps if Aiiro kept quiet, he'd be ignored and allowed to live in captivity. A hard and terrible life, but a life.
"I can't! I love you, Master. You are the only person on the whole trip who was kind to me. You are my best friend and sometimes I even pretended you were my brother. I can't watch them hurt you," Aiiro sniffled, leaning his head against him in a warm embrace. "But I'll be strong for you."
Zuko reeled. Even Uncle never told him that he loved him. It was just not said, it was not manly. Yet, he was grateful to hear it on this last day he had. "Aiiro, thank you," he whispered, hearing footsteps in the distance. "They are coming. Be tough. No matter what, don't cry out. Show dignity."
"I'll be strong," Aiiro swore as guards entered. He did not cry out as he and Zuko were shoved to their feet.
The two exhausted boys were hustled outside the ship, their heavy chains making it near impossible to walk down the ship. They were practically carried down the ramp.
White robes were shoved around their shoulders. Zuko shuddered at the white hemp robes, they were symbols of death, doom and suffering. Condemned prisoners were them. Aiiro looked quite confused. Zuko was glad he didn't know the reference.
They were shoved into a barred wagon and wooden signs were hung around their necks. Just like every execution he had seen. On Aiiro's, it read Water Tribe Prisoner, found guilty of treason. What a farce, the child didn't even know the meaning of the word. Zuko could not see what was written on his own sign and decided he did not care to know.
They were then chained to poles, so that they could be seen separately. Aang was given the first pole, Zuko in between, and Aiiro last. Zuko was distressed to see an Airbender monk came before him in terms of prisoner importance. Another blow to his dignity.
Hotaru was not to be seen. Perhaps Zhao had killed her? No, there was no point in ending her life. Had Zhao forced himself on her? Zuko would personally devote his entire after life to haunting that blaggard if he found out it was true. Perhaps she was still on the ship, that Zhao wanted to keep her with him for some nefarious reason. Well, he was going to die anyway, he could not help her anyway. He could not even help himself.
From his angle on the pole, Zuko could read the calligraphy signs on the barred wagon that was taking him to his doom.
The exiled son of the Fire Lord has been found aiding pirates and engaging in treasonous activities and awaits the Fire Lord's justice.
Behold the mighty Avatar: Master of Four elements, Last living Airbender, prisoner of the Fire Nation.
After processing the painful words, Zuko faced the floor of his mobile prison. He imagined the sign around his neck said the same thing.
He had dreamed of seeing his home again, but not in this way. Zuko had seen these victory parades before. The proud conquering hero, in a chariot in front and the prisoners in a wagon jeered at. That is how he expected to come home, but in the chariot. He had thought he would come home in triumph, not go the way of a criminal.
Zuko understood that he was going to be made a public spectacle of. How much humiliation had he been forced to suffer in the last few days? He supposed he could have been chained behind Zhao's wagon and forced to walk behind him. That would have been miserable.
"What a city," Aiiro whispered, clearly in awe. For a child used to tiny tents, Azar must have seemed unbelievable. This was a city that should belong to Zuko. It was a city that Zuko had sworn to protect. Who would protect him from them?
From the corner of his eye, Zuko could see people pointing and whispering as they traveled along the streets. He could only imagine what they were thinking about him. They hated him. They saw him as a traitor.
He expected to be jeered but there was a cold silence. People were afraid to mock a prince until he had been stripped formally of his title by the Fire Lord. He might have been banished and in disgrace, but most peasants preferred to wait for confirmation before mocking royal prisoners. A pardon was still possible in their minds, even if Zuko knew it was impossible. Zuko could still feel their staring eyes burning into him, their glares eating away at his very soul.
An egg was thrown into the wagon, hitting Aiiro in the face. "Waterbending scum," a voice called, as people laughed. Tears ran down the boy's cheeks mixing with the runny yolk. Zuko longed to wipe his face but he had been chained too far away from the helpless child.
Another person threw some vegetables at the Avatar. "Your days of running are at an end, coward."
"Our Fire Lord will show you some real fire-bending," another called out. A medley of insults followed.
"Airbending trash!" called some children, dressed in the white and red uniforms of the military academy. Zuko had often watched them play outside, knowing he would not be allowed to join in. Another egg hit a saucer-eyed Aiiro, making him quiver with terror.
"Disgrace," said another person, aiming a pebble at Aang's head. Zuko didn't remember his people being so brutal.
"Failure," jeered a male voice. Zuko shivered, wondering if the words were directed at him. "Should've been Slaughtered off with the rest of your lowly clan." No, still directed at the Avatar.
"Water savage!" called a young woman, barely older then Zuko himself. Most likely lost a relative to the war. Still gave her no right to hate a vulnerable child. Aiiro was weeping helplessly already, completely confused by this show of hate. Zuko wished he could shield him in his arms.
"Forgive them, Aiiro. They are blind with hate and don't know what they are doing," the Avatar called to him. "It is going to be okay."
"I am sure that the afterlife will be fine," Zuko grumbled irritably. How dare people mock Aiiro? He had been completely innocent in all of this.
"At least no one hates you, Master," Aiiro sniffled, curling up into a ball as much as his chains would allow.
"It's only until my father pronounces me guilty. Then they'll treat me like one of you," Zuko mumbled mournfully. He would be publicly executed, that much he did know.
"He's your father. Why does he hate you so much?" Aiiro begged. "Why can't he just let us go?"
Zuko did not look up. "It doesn't matter," he muttered. He was depressed enough without recalling why he was about to die.
"It's not like we have anything else to talk about. I'd prefer not to listen to the bloodthirsty crowd after our blood and I think I deserve to know why you hunted me," the Avatar said in a soft tone.
Zuko tucked his chin into his chest. He might as well confess his sins and apologize. "I was never good enough. I was never wanted. My father had a child, long before he married Mother and had me and Hotaru. My half-brother's name was Kishi. He was the perfect son to my father. He was a fire bending prodigy and everyone adored him. He and his mother Akiko died at eleven in an accident. My father has spent his entire life trying to make me into him. He never succeeded."
"Master, you are better then your brother was. You are my hero. I am happy I knew you," Aiiro piped up. Such a wonderful little boy, Zuko hoped he would see him in the next life.
" I tried my best to please him, but I was a failure. I was never good enough at Fire bending, I was never skillful enough at my studies. I just wanted to emulate him in all my deeds. One day, I went too far and spoke out against an order to sacrifice a group of recruits. I was ordered to duel my father, but I loved him too much. I thought if I submitted one more time, he'd have compassion on me. He didn't."
"Oh Master!" Aiiro was in tears now. Even the Avatar looked sympathetic. Zuko did not want their pity. He did not need it.
"Instead of killing me, he had mercy on me. He banished me till I could find you and regained my honor. For two years, I trained and searched, trying to find my way home," Zuko whispered. "And now I have returned."
"No one had seen me for a hundred years. It was to get rid of you slowly and you know that," the Avatar said, his voice quiet with shock.
"But if I could have done the impossible, perhaps he could do the impossible," Zuko answered.
"Master!" Aiiro cried up suddenly, his face contorted with horror. With a manacled little hand, he pointed to a city gate. Bloody heads had been mounted on pikes, their faces contorted in agony. Birds were eating at their flesh, creating furrows in the tissue that made the scene even more monstrous. Under each head was a sign indicating their crime, just like the ones hanging around the three boys' necks.
"Close your eyes," Zuko ordered. That was going to be how he ended up, his body not even given the dignity of being burned. "Close your eyes and think of your parents."
"This has to stop. This can't go on," the Avatar whispered, his voice shaking. Zuko almost laughed, what could a prisoner do to stop Ozai the Inferno?
The gates leasing to the Fire Lord's palace loomed in the distance, growing steadily and more ominously larger. The famed Golden Gates of the Imperial Palace, their lacquer gleamed in the sun. The crest of Zuko's homeland adorned the top of the gateway. People came from far and wide to see them, not knowing what lay behind them. Zuko remembered the gates as the bars that had confined a prince to his studies. Yet, when he had been banished and forced to leave them, he had been forced to choke back sobs.
Zuko heard Aiiro gasp from behind him, although whether from fear or awe Zuko could not tell. They passed under the gates, the golden arches towering over them easily, almost swallowing them up. Just as the Fire Lord would swallow the whole world.
This is it," Zuko thought. "This is how my life will end. My blood will be spilled on the ground of the country I have fought so hard to return to. At least, I'll die in my own home. At least, I had a chance to see Mother and Hotaru one last time. At least Uncle won't have to see me die. At least... I knew Aiiro."
The crowd had disappeared once they passed under the gateway. Now the caravan began the steady uphill climb on the path to the Fire Palace. Zuko remembered this walk well. If he had been walking, he was sure that he could remember every pebble, every stone under his boots. The disciplined prince ordered himself not to stare at the approaching palace and instead averted his eyes to the dark, dank soil.
In the past, this path had been covered with semiprecious stones, an elegant road that had been a work of art. A garden had been had adorned the sides of the path, with beautiful flowers and trees. Now, it was so drab and dreary.
He remembered hearing later on his quest for the Avatar that his father had ripped up the trees and flowers and had the stones melted, all in favor of getting cheaper supplies for the war effort. Zuko had impassively received the news.
What would a Prince care for a bunch of silly stones and flowers? But when he was alone in his room, he mourned the loss of the beautiful landscape. It was one of the few places in the palace where he felt most at home. He had often sat there, thinking of his mother and sister.
Sometimes, later, Zuko would wonder if it was odd for a child to find more solace sitting in a bunch of flowers rather than in fantasies of conquest and world domination.
"This is where you lived?" Aiiro asked, his terrified face looking relieved to be away from the mob. He had no idea the worst was yet to come.
Before Zuko could answer, the wagon came to an abrupt stop and jumped, sending it's occupants to be shook up. Zuko and Aang were jerked around and Aiiro knocked his head into the pole. Zuko longed to turn around and pick up the little boy, dust off his clothes and give him a tight hug. "Once."
"Get them out. The banished prince can wish my future bride congratulations," Zuko heard Zhao sneer. The three prisoners' chains were detached from the poles and marched out with many kicks and blows from the soldiers. Cords of steel were attached to their necks, forming cruel leashes like the ones used on rhinos.
Zhao was standing a few feet away, with Hotaru in his arms. Her hands had been chained behind her. "Brother," she called, trying to pull away to get to him. She turned to Zhao.
"Your bride?" Zuko snapped furiously, realizing Zhao's plan. When he was dead, Hotaru would be the only descendant of Agni left after Father. A child of hers could take the throne.
"Isn't she a beauty? She's a bit headstrong but she makes up for that in more important ways," Zhao leered, looking proud of himself.
"Let my brother go and I'll marry you as you want. You have the Avatar, you have me. Let Zuko go. He's irrelevant," Hotaru whispered. "Think of it as a wedding present." Her face was taught with fear. Zuko knew Zhao would refuse but he was touched that she still loved him.
"I think I'm present enough, my lady. Can't help you there," Zhao smirked, with a mocking bow of his head. "But I can promise your brother I'll treat you well. I have two beautiful children who will call you mother and our children together will be beautiful. What more could you want?"
"Don't beg from this cretin," Zuko ordered, pulling at his guards. His limbs could barely obey his commands. He felt so limp. The beating had made him so weak, but he could not let his sister lose her dignity as he had.
"That was pathetic, Zuko, thrashing around like a fish. Hotaru, I hope you will please me more. I'll be with you in a few moments. Take them inside. The Fire Lord can deal with them," he ordered, takes the leashes of the Avatar and Zuko in his heads.
The three prisoners were yanked along the marble hallways. Zhao gave little slack in the cords and Zuko pondered if he'd die of asphyxiation before he even reached his father. To distract himself from the terror beating in his heart, he studied the ornate crimson halls Zuko knew by heart and thought he would never see again. As a lonely child, he had tiptoed down these foyers, terrified of attracting his father's attention. Servants passed by him, thinking him merely a prisoner. Two years ago, they would have thrown themselves at his feet. To his credit, the Avatar seemed lost in a trance, reacting to nothing. There was a stillness around him that found favor in Zuko's eyes. It was good and proper to die with dignity.
"Send this message to the Fire Lord," Zhao ordered, scribbling a message unto a piece of parchment and handing it to a noisily dressed page. "I am not sure he got my messenger hawk." The three prisoners waited submissively, too exhausted and restrained to put up much resistance.
Aiiro finally collapsed, unable to stand up under the weight of his heavy shackles. "Master!" Aiiro whispered, as he tumbled to the floor. His eyes were tearing up from terror and exhaustion.
"Shut it," Zhao snapped, raising his hand menacingly as Aiiro cowered beneath him. He let it stay there for a moment before turning to the guards. "Leave the Water Brat here. I'll deal with him later, the Fire Lord has no interest in him," he instructed. Zuko was relieved to see the child would be spared seeing him die. Why had Zhao held back?
Before he could ponder that thought, the page returned. "The Fire Lord has ordered your presence," he said with a bow. "Please follow me, sir."
Zhao smiled and yanked the chains of the two prisoners. As the two boys lurched away, Zuko stole one look at his only true friend he had ever known. "Goodbye," he mouthed as he was pulled away into the Dragon guarded halls of the Imperial Chambers. Aiiro was in tears. Zuko was surprised to see he was blinking back a few tears of his own. He knew that was the last image he would ever see of his dear friend.
The two prisoners were pulled back the curtain entering the Fire Lord's ornate chamber and marched down a long carpeted hall the central area. Zuko recognized most of the people around him, but he doubted they knew who he was. In this condition, he barely recognized himself. He had spent his childhood cowering in fear in this very room, it seemed only fitting he should die here.
The Fire Lord sat upon a throne, behind a wall of fire. His face was hidden in shadow. Zuko dared look up at the man believed to be his father and shuddered out of fear. This was the shadowed face of his master, his lord and liege, not the face of a father.
"Your Majesty, after a brave battle, I have captured the Avatar and brought him to you as my most humble gift. May it find favor in your eyes," Zhao said, falling to his knees as he bowed deeply. As he descended, he yanked the two prisoners to their knees as well. Zuko nearly tumbled face first to the floor. It was near impossible to kneel with arms chained behind his back. "In my quest, I also arrested the Exiled Prince who was hosting criminals on his ship in defiance of your direct orders."
"Behold the man," the Fire Lord rasped sardonically. "Or should I say the child. The mere child that the son of Sozen could not manage to catch. I am disappointed."
" Father, I beg of you to listen to me. I captured the Avatar. Ask him yourself if you wish. Zhao threatened Uncle with harm if I didn't give up. That is the only reason he had either of us. I did bring you what you wanted," Zuko pleaded, knowing as he should have known two years earlier that it was fruitless.
"It's true. Prince Zuko captured me," the Avatar piped in helpfully. "He's a good son to you."
"That is irrelevant. You were still captured. If you can't manage to defend your own property, then you are a failure. The loss of Iroh is nothing compared to the loss of a throne. You should have let him die," the Fire Lord intoned coldly.
Zuko was disgusted by the thought of allowing Uncle to die. "I made my choice. I defended my people. I defended my family. I regret nothing," Zuko said between clenched teeth. He did regret many things; he regretted not telling Uncle how much he loved him. He regretted being cruel to anyone and expressing his own pain on others. Yet, the one thing he did not regret was saving his uncle.
Father once scared Zuko so much. Now that Zuko saw him again, he saw him no longer as a god, but as a man. A man who had caused everyone else misery, a man consumed with hatred and cruelty, without loyalty to anyone but his own selfish gains.
Had Zuko stayed, this would have been him. He had two miserable years, but now that he looked back on them, he realized how wonderful they had been. He had two years with Uncle and he had learned so much from him. He would be reunited with his loved ones in the Spirit World. Zuko just wanted to die already. Why was there all this talking? He had made his peace already, why not just get on with it?
It was ironic though. The only times he had truly done something right, he was punished for it. What a strange world.
"Then you are weak and a mistake. My heir will be a prodigy, someone strong and intelligent. His name will be next to mine. Your name will be nowhere, besides your grave next to the mighty Avatar. Another worthless coward. It fits that you two die together," Father droned on. Why had Zuko respected him? All that cruelty was no sign of power, it was a sign of weakness. It took strength to care about others. "I wash my hands of both of you."
"Do you regret what you've done?" the Avatar asked in a cold tone. "You have butchered thousands of people, destroyed nature and hurt your own family. You were cruel to the son who loves you more then life itself. He would do anything for you and you hurt him. Do you regret it?"
"Insolent boy, hold your tongue," the Fire Lord commanded disdainfully. "Seize them. By order of the Fire Lord, I sentence the Avatar to be flogged with a bian gan. His feet, hands, nose and ears amputated and he will live the rest of his life as a prisoner in the oubliette dungeons below the throne."
"As for the former heir to the throne, I strip him of his titles, his birthright and any chance of returning to throne. I expel you from the royal family for now and all eternity. For your treason against your lord and master, you will publicly die a slave's death tomorrow at midday. Your name shall be stricken from the royal records. Your body will be defiled and your flesh will be fodder for the carrion birds. You will be cursed forever by Agni and your spirit shattered to the four winds. It shall be as if Zuko, son of Sakura never existed. As for your beloved uncle, he shall be arrested and given the same fate so you two can spend eternity together." Zuko shuddered inwardly, but made no outward sign of fear. He expected nothing less. "Now get them from my sight. They do not concern me."
"You would do such things to your own brother and son?"
"They are failures. Only the strong will survive," the Fire Lord sneered.
"Then there can be no mercy for you," the Avatar said, beginning to glow blue. That was a bad sign for everyone within a mile radius. So, Zuko was going to die that way, not by his father's hand. It did not really matter.
In a whirl of fire, the Avatar suddenly melted the links shackling his chains. Fire balls were launched at him to keep him imprisoned, but a wave of air blew them away. The Avatar raised his hand and harnessed the water in the soldier's bodies, throwing them across the room. This time, everyone else kept away. Then he turned his hollow eyes on Zuko.
Zuko bowed his head, waiting for the Avatar to take revenge. He had wronged him and expected no mercy. At least the Avatar would spare Aiiro and perhaps even have mercy on Uncle Iroh.
To the prince's surprise, the glowing monk reached out and took Zuko's hand, squeezing it affectionately. At his touch, Zuko felt all his fear melt away, replaced with a feeling of euphoria. He suddenly felt a feeling that he had only known with Uncle and Hotaru and once with Mother.
It was purity! It was an innocent and immaculate feeling of goodness so strong and pure that Zuko felt cleansed by it. For the first time in years, Zuko felt completely at peace. He had no fear, he had no sadness. He was completely immersed in goodness.He heard a dull thud as something fell. Yet, such power was filling his body!
The chains melted off him as the feeling began to warm him. "Join me…Kuzon…join me…" a beautiful voice kept saying. Zuko nodded, he wanted to link and unite with this feeling forever. In his head were people he had only seen in history books, Avatar Roku, Avatar Kyoshi, Avatar Onsui, Avatar Ye-Lin, Avatar Shula, Avatar Ranma, Avatar Tikaani, each one an incarnation, each one here to save the current generation.
There was Fire Prince Kuzon, there were so many other members of Zuko's family. There were Earth benders, Fire Benders, Air benders and Water benders, people who looked down in such love at the both of them. Zuko could feel their power coursing through him, their love strengthening him!
His hand begin to glow with a fire so strong that Zuko wondered how he could possibly survive holding it. It kept burning, gaining heat and whirling around him. It extended past his limbs, covering him like a perfectly made robe. The fire rose above his head, elongating him and enveloping in it's beautiful heat. All the pain from Zhao's beating faded away.
Father was sending Fire ball after fire ball at them but the fire protected him. He looked and saw all four elements whirling around himself. He was at the heart of a glowing creature of pure bending energy. Zuko relaxed and let everything happen at will. Whatever was happening, it was marvelous!
"Because you have brought misery to the world, we are here to end your reign. Judgment day has come," saidamechanical tone unlike his usual one. "This is your last chance to repent. Your son is waiting, tell him you care about him."
"You think a mere child can defeat me? My son is a pathetic weakling, lucky to be born. This little magic show will do nothing for you," Father spat, his eyes cold as stone.
Zuko felt his hands move forward and form the movements for a blast of fire. His hands shook as he realized what he was about to do. He had no wish to kill his own flesh and blood, be it father or uncle. Yet the powers gave him no choice in the matter. He felt a searing blast leave his hands, with such power that Zuko was almost knocked back. It was a pillar of flames bigger then anything Zuko had ever seen.
In horror, Zuko watched the fireball engulf the man he called his father. For a second, there was shock on his father's face. Visions of Zuko's own Agni Kai flashed through his head. Had his father regretted the blow of fire as well? Had he yearned to throw himself before the blaze?
A smell of charred meat filled the room as the Fire Lord was immersed in flames. For a second, there was nothing. Then the wonderful power began to wane away and Zuko felt himself collapse to the ground, a few feet from his father.
"Father!" Zuko crawled to the Fire Lord's side. His father's body lay there, helpless and immolated. He was barely clinging to life. Zuko yearned to see him one last time, to apologize for what he had done. "Father, I'm sorry. But I'm here now."
"So, you've spilled your own father's blood. Yet you could not even kill me yourself, the Avatar gave you that power. You still are a failure," Ozai whispered angrily as the life blood seeped away from him. His limbs has been torn off by the blast of fire and the sight was truly ghastly.
Zuko leaned down, unwilling to give up. "I may not have been a prodigy at bending, but you were never much of a prodigy at parenting. Why not forget the past? You might as well give me one kind word. Let's not end badly. Please, just call me your son once," he pleaded.
"You are an unworthy disgrace," Ozai spat, with his last breaths. "Stop being so emotional!"
Zuko trembled from the emotional blow. "Here are two pieces of information I want you to ponder in the afterlife. I am going to live a long and happy life, knowing you can't hurt anyone anymore. Also, the person who deserved to be called my father is Iroh. No matter our blood ties, you are a failure as a parent. I am going to forget you now. Goodbye," he whispered as his nemesis's eyes rolled back.
He turned his back and saw the Avatar lying in a painful heap. "Avatar?" he asked. Why hadn't he gotten up? He crawled back over to him, to offer him a hand up and found the Avatar bleeding from the mouth. "You're hurt!"
"Of course, I'm hurt. I went in, knowing I would die." The Avatar coughed some more blood and smiled sadly. His eyes were glassy and his skin was so pale.
"What?" Zuko reeled, from both energy loss and shock.
"Last night, your previous life taught me how I could give all my energy to you so you could take down the Fire Lord and end it all."
"Why?" Zuko asked, horrified. He had no idea what the Avatar was talking about, but he had a terrible feeling now that he remembered the Avatar's strange behavior. He had done a suicide mission. That was what he had been trying to decide this morning.
"I made my choice and I have no regrets," the Avatar explained, with a smile far beyond his years. "I finally saved the world."
"But you're dying!" Zuko gasped, trying to make sense of all this. There was too much information for one person to process. All this pain, shame and misery had eaten away at his nerves, leaving him so weak and vulnerable.
"I don't feel any pain," the Avatar said, his voice growing weaker. He looked so much smaller then Zuko remembered him. He was a child, a child forced to give up all hopes and dreams for a happy future. He was too young to have to deal with all this! "I've died many times already. I'm used to it."
"Oh Avatar, I am sorry. I am so sorry. I caused you such misery, I am unworthy to even be in your presence," Zuko choked back two years of unshed tears.
"Just keep me company. I don't want to die alone. It's the worst possible death," the Avatar pleaded. "And my name is Aang."
"I won't leave you, not for an instant-Aang," Zuko swore. A teardrop fell on the Avatar's cheek. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to get you wet," he mumbled, trying to make sense of what his enemy had done.
The smaller boy smiled. "It's all right to cry. Tears will make the flowers grow," he said with an enigmatic smile.
"If I could give you my life, I would. You saved me. I hurt you and you gave your life for me," Zuko pleaded. He could hear the people chanting his name. He knew that by killing the Fire Lord, he had regained his honor. Yet, at this moment, Zuko realized that it was by trying to regain his honor that he truly lost it.
"Quit the guilt and listen. I gave my life willingly. Now, will you do some things for me?" the Avatar asked.
"Anything you ask. Just name it," Zuko said, hugging him close. "Anything in the world."
"First-have fun. Be a kid, allow yourself to smile and enjoy life. Let go of the pain in the past and embrace a happy life. You are a good person, act like it," the Avatar said, blood trickling from his mouth as his limbs twitched.
"Save your strength. You need to rest and get better," Zuko murmured soothingly, ignoring the cheers in the background. The throne meant less to him now.
"I'm not going to get better, so you need to listen closely. Then-use- this second chance at life wisely. You are going to be Fire Lord. End the war and do what is best for your people."
"I swear on my life that I'll bring peace to the world," Zuko promised, bowing his head.
"Third-I want you to find my lemur and my bison. Give them to my friends; they will take care of them. Tell Katara I love her and I forgive her for what she did. Think you can manage all that?" the Avatar whispered, with a soft laugh.
Zuko nodded, more tears trickling down his cheeks. Guilt twisted his insides, making him feel nauseous. "She did it because I made her," he informed the Avatar. How cruel that decision seemed now!
"Good. That makes me happy to know she loved me too. She and Sokka were good friends. I will miss them. Zuko-you never answered my question. Had we lived back then, do you think we could have been friends?" the Avatar rasped.
Zuko hugged him close, wishing he could pour his own strength into him. "We are friends now. I'm not worthy of your friendship but we are friends," he choked.
The Avatar's eyes were cloudy. "We are friends," he repeated, as his form became limp. "Time to rest, my friend."
"No! You can't die now!" Zuko shouted, as the gray eyes stared up lifelessly at him. A few feet away, a pair of golden eyes lay just as open and still, as Zuko's alleged father lay dead. Zuko would never be able to gain his love either. Zuko was alone.
Aiiro was suddenly at his side, hugging Zuko. One of the guards must have brought him in. "Master!" Zuko clutched him close. He had lost everyone else around him. He had no idea where Hotaru was, he had no idea if his uncle lived or died. He was just tired! He was tired of everyone he loved dying or suffering or changing! He held the body of the Avatar and just rocked back and forth. "Aang, wake up!" Aiiro begged.
"Your majesty?" said a voice. Zuko turned around to see the Fire Court on their knees before him. Zhao had obviously tried to make an exit but was being held back by guards. "What is your command, great Fire Lord?" repeated the Lord Chamberlain.
"Get my sister." Zuko did not get up from his knees. He could not even fathom how he even spoke, he was so numb.
"Of course. What is your next command?"
"Take the Avatar's ashes back to be buried in the Tomb of the Kings next to Fire Lord Avatar Roku," Zuko directed in a defeated tone. "Give him a state funeral with the highest honors."
"And the Fire-Lord's body?" the chamberlain asked, looking respectfully at Zuko's feet.
"Let the ashes be scattered among the soldiers who died for this country. He sent them to their deaths, he can continue to lead them in the afterlife," Zuko spat. He was so exhausted. He was shaking, as he realized the amount of death that had gone on in this room. Even if Ozai hadn't been Zuko's real father, Zuko had still loved him in his own way. He had prayed daily just to see the light of pride in his eyes. Now, he had killed him. He had killed his own family. He was alive, only because of the Avatar. The little monk who was now dead because of him. So much misery!
"Brother!" said a voice that Zuko knew as well as his own heartbeat. Another pair of arms wrapped around him and a head rested on his shoulder. "I thought I'd never see you again."
"He's dead. The Avatar too. All dead, you see," Zuko mumbled, still shocked. "So much death." He could not believe it all.
"Zuko…" Hotaru whispered. "It's all over." Her voice sounded so soothing and wonderful, yet Zuko could take no comfort. He deserved nothing more then pain and suffering.
"Master, what happened?" Aiiro whispered, completely confused. Zuko did not know how to tell him the truth, yet he had no choice.
"The Avatar gave his life so we could live. I tormented him and he saved me. Why?" Zuko whispered sadly. His vision was getting cloudy, he was so tired. He just wanted to rest.
"We are alive. That is all that matters." Hotaru's voice sounded so ragged herself. The suffering was clear in her voice. "You and I will never be parted again, no one can hurt us anymore."
"Master, what is going to happen now?" Aiiro pleaded, sounding so perplexed by this entire situation.
Zuko shook his head, trying to get a whole of himself. "We are safe. I won't waste this chance. You and I are going to make things better," he resolved, trying to get to his feet. As he touched the Avatar's body, he felt his head begin to spin.
He fell forward as everything went black and empty. The last thing he heard was "Master!"
AN/Well: I did say people would die? Does Zuko live? Well, I can't make any promises! So you'll have to review, threatening my health for a bit.