Yes, I completely, utterly and TOTALLY own Naruto!

(I lied. Sue me.)

(Actually, don't sue me. That would be completely, utterly and TOTALLY not cool.)

BY THE WAY, THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER, SO EXPECT EXTREME FUNNINESS!

-Ch 6-

Naruto grabbed the key, stuck it in the cage, and drank the coffee-ramen. Then he started giggling hysterically, grew a moustache, and exploded.

Hehe, DarkflowerofTc.

Yah, yah, ok.

Anyways, time for the REAL Chapter 6.

Get ready, get set-!

-Chapter 6-

"Agh! Fine, I'll give you the key!" Kakashi said. Anything for the book. Besides, it's not like its a big deal if Naruto got coffee-ramen, right?

Right?

RIGHT?!

Kakashi watched Naruto nervously while cradling his Icha Icha: Make Out Paradise book. The book felt good to hold again. Not only that, but without his book, he felt... Naked. Or worse, without his book it was like... Not wearing a mask.

Naruto walked up to the cage, hand trembling in excitement. For a few seconds, he fumbled with the lock.

"Er... Stupid lock..."

Finally, with a click, the lock turned, and the cage fell open.

"Ahh! Finally! Coffee-rameeennn!"

Naruto grabbed the scroll out and then stared at it in confusion. So... How does he get the ramen out?

Directing chakra to his palm, he pressed it against the seal. That's right... Just enough chakra for that one coffee-ramen. Don't want the other stuff, especially if it's toxic waste.

Unfortunately, Naruto's chakra control is terrible.

He sent in twelve times the amount needed to get the coffee ramen out, and in result, everything BUT the coffee-ramen came out. Toxic waste sprayed everywhere.

"Aw man! That was my good jumpsuit!" Naruto exclaimed. Green slime dripped from his jumpsuit. Kakashi had to use all of his expert ninja skills to keep his book from being splashed, and slime dripped from the walls and ceiling.

Kakashi nervously gripped his precious baby- I mean book- and prayed that Naruto wouldn't get it full of toxic waste.

Again focusing his chakra in one hand, he put his hand to the seal and pushed -just a bit- of chakra into the scroll.

Slowly, the bowl of coffee-ramen pushed it's way out of the scroll, still slightly warm, slightly black stained noodles floating in the coffee-broth, as pieces of herbs floated in the milk clouds. Naruto breathed in the smell as drool dripped down his face.

"Hehehe... Coffee-rameeennn" Naruto laughed while grinning creepily.

Kakashi, now nervous for a different reason, rubbed his precious book to his face in an extremely disturbing manner.

Naruto lifted the bowl to his face, as he got ready to taste the most delicious thing in his-

"NARUTOOO!"

The door was smashed down, and both an angry Sakura and an angry hokage stood at the door holding fists. Behind them, stood some ANBU, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, and some confused civilians and nurses.

Choji, who still looked a bit sick, said, "N-Naruto. Whatever you do, d-don't eat it, man."

But of course, Naruto took a huge gulp.

Everyone looked on in horror. Tsunade's face began twitching, and Kakashi continued to rub the book on his face nervously. Ino's jaw hit the ground. Sakura's face was filled with rage, Shikamaru's face had, "troublesome" written all over it, and Choji looked even more sick from watching someone take a loud slurp from that cursed bowl.

Silence was heard in the room. Naruto's face started twitching. From delight or disgust, no one could tell.

Naruto's body started to shake. That coffee-ramen... The combination of the two most wonderful instant food products in the entire world-!

Tasted terrible.

Naruto's face started to turn green. The bitter coffee clashed terrible with the sweet broth and curdled milk, giving the worst imaginable taste possible! The soup seemed to grind against the inside of the stomach, and he felt bile rise to his throat.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" he cried as he ran to the bathroom.

"I told him not to eat it," Choji said wearily.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru agreed.

"That brat," Tsunade commented. She was keeping him away from coffee ramen for a reason.

"That dumb blonde," Ino said.

Everyone looked at Ino, whose long blonde hair seemed stand out as much as a lit Christmas tree.

"Ino, you know you're blonde too," Sakura pointed out with a wolffish evil grin.

"AH, WHATEVER FOREHEAD!" Ino screeched.

xxXxx

"Rraarrgguheee! Browghhhphh!"

Choji and Shikamaru handed Naruto a dark green blanket and a new bucket. "Here you go Naruto."

"Th-thanks, Choji, Shikamaru."

Sakura cracked her knuckles menacingly. "So, do you agree to never drink coffee again?"

Naruto nodded as he stood up snakily. "Heh heh, ok Sakura! I have a new food obsession now anyways! I always wanted to try it, I saw Anko have it once."

Everyone looked confused.

"Dango?" Ino questioned.

Naruto shook his head and pulled an object seemingly out of nowhere. "Nope."

Everyone stood in shock and horror as Naruto pulled out what his new food obsession would be.

Because in his hand, was even worse than coffee.

It was a monster energy drink.

"NARUTO, YOU BAKA, THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN COFFEE!" Sakura screeched, before driving his fist into his head.

"OWW! Sakura-chaaaaan!"

Poor Naruto. It seemed that no matter what food obsession he chose, Sakura would hit him.

Naruto rubbed the sore spot on his head before grinning a Naruto grin and rambling,"EHH?! Well, what about a pipe! I always wanted to try one, cause the third hokage always smoked a pipe! That can be my new obsession! EHH SAKURA-CHAN?! "

Everyone's jaw hit the floor in shock and extreme horror.

Naruto wasn't going to go on drugs, would he?!

"NARUTO, YOU BAKA, THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN COFFEE AND MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS MIXED TOGETHER!" Sakura screeched, before driving his fist into his head once again, sending him 30 feet away.

Naruto rubbed his head in pain and confusion.

Yep, it seemed that no matter WHAT obsession he picked, be it ramen, coffee, monster, or a pipe, Sakura would always hit him.

And yep, he would never be able to understand girls.

Maybe they just enjoyed hitting him?

xxXxx

A/N That's the end!

So, how did you like the ending, eh?

I hope this chapter was funny, and if it was, leave a review to tell me if you were laughing or not!

Yah, I know chapters have been coming slow ever since three weeks ago... (Note: this also around the time that school started again... Plus I was busy reading my newest manga obsession: Blue Exorcist, hehehehe...)

But I will try to get back into my daily updates habit with my next story, which will be...

- Naruto: Banned from Ramen!-

When the hokage bans Naruto from ramen due to his health condition, will he be able to handle the mental strain? The answer: no. No he can't. And nothing will keep him from ramen!

So in two to three days, look for that title!

So, FAV and REVIEW!

^-^ !

AND I LOVE EXCLAMATION MARKS!