Kuro and Shiro: We welcome all to chapter five! In addition, we also apologize for any mistakes you find within our writing!
Disclaimer: We do not own PMMM (Puella Magi Madoka Magica).
Chapter Five
Reason to Hope
She wanted to stay strong. She wanted to keep her chin up. She wanted to show everyone that she was okay.
…Not end up breaking down in front of her classmate.
She simply blinks to look at the white ceiling above her.
Before she could afford herself to be lost in her thoughts, she began simply by where she currently is.
Here she was, lying in the nurse's room to get some rest when she should be with the girl that keeps her distance from others. She finds herself laughing lightly to herself for reasons to be left unknown.
This is probably what Homura-Chan felt…
A bittersweet silence held the air when the thought of all the dark-haired girl's efforts came to mind.
A small frown appeared on the pink-haired girl's features. She bitterly turns onto her side to hug the pillow for comfort. Her grip tightens onto the soft object when she remembers the name that the taller girl had called herself countless times. A disapproval look was shown as she covered the lower half of her face with the headrest.
…You're not a failure to me, Homura-Chan…
She closed her eyes, only to reopen them when she hears the sound of a door opening.
…Homura-Chan…?
Amber vanishes behind tightly closed eyelids as she desperately clung onto the pillow. Her legs tucked in closer to her body underneath the white sheets.
She suddenly felt like a mess as she cowers deeper into the futon.
The sensation of depression and disappointment she was previously feeling, all went into a strange mix of embarrassment and shyness. Possibly fear as well.
She felt her throat go dry when she heard tapping against the solid floor approaching closer and closer. A chill runs down her back when she heard the long curtains shift to a side. Their presence was very close by.
"I know that you're awake, Kaname-San."
Madoka silently squeaked at the sudden statement.
"I rest my case."
"You scared me, Homura-Chan." The pink-haired girl huffed. "I thought you were someone else."
"I apologize for frightening you," Homura says, "although, I cannot leave you behind when school has ended, Kaname-San."
"I forgive you." Madoka said while glancing over at the other girl.
Homura merely gives a quiet nod in reply.
Silence filled the gap between the two for a short period of time.
"H-hey," The smaller girl shyly spoke up, "isn't it a coincidence that we're kind of walking the same path home?"
The dark-haired girl solely nods in acknowledgement. "I see."
"Well…" Slight disappointment was hinted within the soft spoken voice. "This is my stop."
Lavender peered over to the house plate that claims to be the Kaname residence.
"…My house is just a few walks away."
Madoka smiles at this.
Homura wonders if she should regret the fact that she had almost gave her location away.
"I'll see you then?"
Violets behind the lens looked over to the hopeful eyes.
"Yeah…" She says. "I'll see you then."
It was getting late.
Dinner was already gone through, homework was finished, and she had a bath.
Now she's going to retire to bed for the night.
Plopping onto her futon, she pulls the blanket till they were underneath the bridge of her nose. Amber bore into the ceiling, thoughts rushing throughout her entire mind.
Pink brows scrunched up in worry.
The fear was quickly dismissed, but it grew claws and clung onto her.
She squirms, both physically and mentally.
She struggles to breathe as the emotions were slowly coming out of control.
She could feel herself literally drowning in the beginning sorrows.
How could she go another day?
How far could she go before breaking down again?
…How did she deal with this?
The pink-haired girl tries to image, to imitate of what the dark-haired girl would do in a situation like this.
She then stops herself from doing so.
Even if she could clearly see it, she doesn't have the heart to replay the suffocating episode.
It would be too much for her to bear with.
Simply be too much for the pink-haired girl to take in the horrid memories of the other girl's almost never-ending suffering.
She visibly flinches when she could clearly hear the imaginative cries and furious anger roaring as day from a weak and fragile girl she once knew.
Guilt filled her; it had to be in her faults, she thought. First, she was her very first best friend. Second, she had abused their friendship by forcing such a request upon a girl that had problems of her own. Third, she was the first to cause her much more suffering than she had at the beginning.
Worst of all, the dark-haired girl had blamed everything upon herself-even the things that were not in her control, saying that she wasn't strong enough to protect her-from an event that possibly wasn't to be predicted-and that she's useless. She had said to herself that she will take the responsibility and punishment to eternal suffering if she had to.
That girl was truly loyal, indeed, worshiping their friendship so deeply, but yet she…-
A failure, she calls herself.
It was like as if she could no longer recognize herself as a human being. That she had to be perfect.
She'll even go pass the line of turning into something inhuman-
The deep thoughts tortured the girl as she cuts herself from the darkening musings.
Her heart was heavily aching that she feared that it may burst out of her chest.
She hugs the closet large stuffed animal, seeking for comfort.
Though, it wasn't the type comfort she was hoping for, it was better than nothing.
Softly and slowly as the seconds tick, she finds herself drifting off into the darkness of sleep.
Why did this have to happen? The girl gloomily pondered in anguish. Tears of frustration willed up at the edges. Pair of golden amber merely shown the sorrow and agony they truly felt. Muffled cries were echoing through the wavy line of the mouth. Cheeks were rosy from the passion. Small balled fists were pressed against her lap. She struggles to wipe away the straying trails of salty water.
A hand rose out of nowhere to wipe them away for her.
"I'm sorry." A weak voice murmurs.
Her head snaps up and she froze in place.
A broken girl stood in before her.
Yellow pools grew softer at the figure. Unsaid words begin to pile up in her throat. Waterworks were extended and the sobs were louder. Mixed feelings were racing throughout the girl's tearing core.
Why did this have to happen?
She gives in effortlessly, gently pressing her cheek against the cold hand.
This stranger that kneels before her is-no, was her best friend.
"Goddess…" The voice soothingly musters out as the hand softly caresses the girl's face.
Now, they were enemies.
The very fact was tearing the girl apart.
Why did it have to come to this?
She feels her stomach drop when those radiating lavenders bore into hers. Imaginative red flickers upon those violets though the girl knows they were not an illusion. She tries to blink out of the blurry vision, but no avail.
A quiet whimper follows when the hand is pulled away.
"You don't want this," An understanding tone says as a pair of hands was placed upon her shoulders, "do you?"
A weak nod was given to confirm her feelings.
"You want to save me," A sympathetic smile appears on the other girl, "don't you?"
"Mhm…" She quietly chokes out.
A small pause was between the two before the dark-haired girl spoke.
"You can't."
The statement rips at the girl's heart.
"Not here." She rephrases. "You can't."
The girl wants to protest, but the other girl continues to speak.
"I've become too unstable for any saving." She confesses. "I shall become a monster by the time my senses are gone."
The time that is left for me is too little for you to save me. Give up on me. Destroy me.
"…I…" Her voice trembles in complaint.
"I-I don't w-want to destroy you…"
Courage slowly began to build up.
"I d-don't want to give up on y-you…"
Her tone grew steady and bold.
"I want to save you!"
An empty smile appeared.
"Then…" The creature sadly challenges.
"Save my dying sanity, Goddess."
She had awoken up to a blur. Her cheeks felt damp. She was hearing a strange noise not far away.
Only to realize that the blurry vision and wetness were from the tears that trail from the edges of her puffy red eyes.
Only to realize that the silent cries and muffled sobs were coming from non-other than herself as she's alone in the dark room.
She was crying.
She couldn't stop herself from mustering out. She found no reason to resist in saying it. To choke out the name she needed to say to remind her of her doing.
To give her the hope that she needed to continue.
"…Homura-Chan…"
Kuro and Shiro: Tell us what you think as we'll be writing more in the future.
Shiro: We're terribly sorry for taking a long time to post up any chapters! Homework was piling up as it has taken most of our time to work on the chapters! Forgive us!