...leave it up to you...
Chapter 5 : Not enough
Seifer
I never got to tell her good-bye. She got up and stared at me, anger in her eyes, then stormed into her room. She heard me leave, but still didn't say anything.
I'm on a train to Winhill now. I think I'm going to take a little relaxing break there, and then maybe... maybe I'll go back to Balamb.
It's hard to believe that even though I've only been gone a few hours, I'm already beginning to miss that kid. Cute little smile and strangely amusing behavior. Hyne, even her pathetic excuses at attempting to cook anything that required more than a microwave or the press of a button I'm kinda missing.
I sigh and watch the scenery pass by my window. It's going to be strange, not having her around. She took care of me through good and bad. Seven months and thirteen days... That's the longest time I've stayed in one place since Balamb Garden.
Groaning, I shake my head and close my eyes. Balamb Garden... Headmaster Cid, Raijin, Fujin, Zell, Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Rinoa, and...
Squall.
... Yeah, you Squall. The one person at Garden that made me angry. I mean really angry. At first it was just for fun, I guess. You know, since after we left the orphanage and had to leave Matron. Then I started to enjoy it.
Sick and twisted, I know. But I did. I made me feel better knowing that I could make you mad, make you hate me. That was the only power I had over you. You always had everything so good, Squall. You had Ellone. You had your sister. You had all the kids hanging around you the whole time, even though you started to ignore them after a while.
Even when you wouldn't talk at all, they wanted to be with you. Hyne, Quistis wouldn't give up for the longest time until Rinoa came along...
You took her from me, too. You had everything, Squally-boy. Everything that I ever wanted was yours. You were head SeeD with perfect scores and perfect everything else. Me? Well, I was just a bad kid all around. Causin' trouble with my posse, pissing people off... that was me.
You beat me at everything I strived to be. I thought that for once, I could beat you with my gunblade. But even with Ultimecia's power, you were better. You beat me what, three times? Four? I don't know... but you still beat me.
I guess I'll always just be second best... but that shouldn't even matter. I don't know what matters anymore. Not you, not them. Not anyone. I can't care anymore. I'm tired of this. I want to get everything done and over with, now.
The last chance I had I just blew. I left what little hope I had with Tamiel back in Deling.
I guess I'm all alone again...
A.N.: Don't worry, Squall will be in the story soon enough. Hope you like the story, and feel free to review and leave any feedback, good or bad. More's coming soon!
ConfessYourSins