I would really love your thoughts on the story so far, and whether I should continue it or not. I have a few ideas that I could potentially pursue, so leave some reviews please :D

"Jamey."

My whole body felt heavy, like a big chunk of lead. I heard my name somewhere above me, but none of me wanted to respond.

"Jamey, are you okay?"

My eyes forced themselves open. I didn't feel in control at all. I tried my fingers. They felt like chunks of ice. I tried my voice, but only incoherent mumbles seemed to make their way out of my throat.

"Jamey, you need to get up. Hazel is with Reyna and Jason."

I felt something on my hand, something warm and soft. I finally forced myself to look up, and my eyes focused on the figure above me. Nico was looking at me with concern. It took a moment for me to notice that he was holding my hand. He leaned in a little bit.

"Are you crying?" He asked gently.

My other hand went to my eyes, and I felt some moisture. Shit. It was happening again. I needed to get my body back. I fought against myself, willing every nerve and cell in my body to help me sit up. I finally pushed myself up. I looked around our little hotel room. I was in my twin bed, the sheets and blankets thrown all over the place. What had I dreamt last night? It couldn't have been good.

"Hey," Nico said, and I looked back at him. He looked a little freaked. "What's going on?"

"I…" I cleared my throat. Okay. I could do this. "Nightmare." I wiped my eyes. Crying from a bad dream? No, not heroic. "Um…Hazel?"

"She made it to the gate early this morning," Nico reported, although he was still looking at me warily. "She's meeting with Reyna and Jason now, although they mentioned something about a senate meeting that they want us to attend. Are you, um…up for it?"

"Yeah," I said. My body still felt strangely heavy, but I managed to pull myself out of the tangle of blankets. "Just…just let me…" I stumbled into the bathroom.

When I saw my reflection, I could see why Nico had looked so worried. I looked like death warmed over, which…okay, that probably wasn't the right way to put it. My eyes were bloodshot, my face unnaturally pale, and my lips looked almost purple. My hair was more unruly than usual, and my shoulder was killing me. I must've been moving around a lot in my sleep.

It wouldn't have made a difference, but I splashed some hot water on my face, hoping to wake up a little more. When I came back out, Nico was already dressed and in the process of tying a large black sheet around himself. I would've laughed if he didn't look so serious, and if I weren't feeling so weird.

"There's one for you here," Nico said, nodding to the dresser, on which somebody had placed a folded white sheet. "How do you feel?"

"Ugh," my body said for me. I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. I wanted to crawl back into bed. I didn't feel motivated enough to wrestle with a bed sheet. I pulled on some clothes.

"Do you remember the dream?" Nico asked. "It might be useful. Maybe it was a vision."

I shook my head, covering my eyes with my hand. No, I couldn't remember a thing, only the feeling I got, like I was falling…and a voice in my mind...ugh. I leaned against the wall, feeling dizzy.

"You could stay here," Nico offered. He finally got the toga to work out. It looked pretty good on him.

"No," I said. I cleared my throat. "I want to see Hazel." I looked back at the sheet on the dresser, feeling hopeless. "I don't know how to wear a toga."

I could almost see Nico trying not to laugh. "I'll help you."

As Nico twisted the sheet around me, I remembered just how I felt. When I was a junior in high school, I'd signed up for the school's blood drive. When they tested my blood, they told me that it was in demand, so they wanted me to do some sort of double donation. I figured it wouldn't be too bad, so I agreed. I remembered feeling so cold when the blood was being pulled out of my body. The nurses had put about half a dozen hot packs on my arms and chest, but nothing helped. When they finally released me, I felt so out of control that I hardly made it up the stairs to my next class.

That's how I felt at that moment. I felt like somebody had stolen a pint of my blood. My body felt so cold, and it was like nothing would be able to warm me up, even if I jumped into a volcano.

"Are you sure?" Nico asked again, securing the toga over my shoulder.

"Let's go," I said, reaching for my quiver out of habit. I remembered that we weren't allowed to have weapons in the city. I sighed. I suddenly really wanted to go home.

"Hey man," Jason greeted us when Nico and I walked into the senate building. "You…you don't look too good. Are you okay?"

"Bad dreams," I said, hoping to change the subject. "So, um, what's the meeting for?"

"Reyna figured we ought to let everybody know about Hazel," Jason replied. He wore a white toga along with his praetor's cape. There were several pins on his chest. "You know, just in case. Other than that, it'll just be a run of the mill meeting. Have you had breakfast?"

"I think I'd blow chunks if I tried." I scratched the back of my neck.

"You sure you don't want to sit this one out?" Jason asked, and the look on Nico's face said that maybe I should listen to him.

"I'm fine," I said. "Just a little dizzy. Where's Hazel now?"

"Reyna took her to the Temple of Jupiter." Jason said. "Octavian is going to read the auguries then report them to the senate. With any luck, we'll have her on probatio by the end of the meeting."

"I'm glad to hear it," I said, and I really did feel relieved. I was happy to let go of any scary thoughts concerning Hazel's fate. At least now she was mostly safe.

Reyna walked through the door, followed by Octavian, and finally, by Hazel. When Hazel saw Nico, she ran to him, and they hugged for a few moments. She looked mostly okay, from what I could see. Her hair was a little wild, and there were a few cuts and bruises here and there, but she had all of her limbs and they seemed to be working just fine. Always a plus.

"Let's get started, then," Jason said.

The meeting was comparatively short. Jason announced Hazel's arrival, as well as her parentage. There were a few uneasy mutters from the gathered senate, but nobody objected to her staying. Nico was called up to testify on her behalf. I have a feeling they would've called me, too, but it seemed that Jason didn't think it was a good idea for me to talk. Octavian came forward and read the auguries, stating that they were good, and Hazel was welcome to join the legion.

I noticed Hazel got slightly uneasy while Octavian was speaking, but I didn't want to say anything yet. I was suddenly having images of Caesar walking into a senate meeting only to be stabbed by the other members. Hey, maybe that's why they had the no weapons rule.

When the meeting was adjourned, Jason came to speak to us. He handed Hazel her probatio tablet. Apparently she wouldn't be a full member of the legion until she'd served for a year, or did something heroic. No idea what these people considered heroic.

Nico, Hazel, and I walked out into the sunshine and I tugged off my sheet. I felt silly prancing around in it. Nico didn't worry about his, but he wore it a lot more confidently than I did. He'd actually looked a lot more comfortable in that meeting than almost anybody else.

"I suppose this means you'll be leaving?"

We turned. Octavian stood behind us, his arms crossed over his chest. There weren't any teddy bears strapped to his belt this time, but that didn't seem to make much of a difference. He seemed to be trying to stare me down. If I weren't so focused on other things, it might've worked.

"Yeah," I said. Again, I noticed Hazel becoming a little shifty. "We'll be out of your hair by tomorrow."

"Safe trip, then," he said, but he sounded like he was hoping we'd be blasted off the road or something. "And Hazel, it'll be nice seeing you around the legion. Don't forget what I told you."

With that, Octavian turned and walked off with the swagger of a flamingo with PTSD. I reached for my arrows, then remembered for the second time that day that I didn't have them.

"What did he tell you?" Nico asked, and Hazel looked at him with wide eyes.

She cleared her throat. "Nothing. Can we look around? I hear they have unicorns."

Nico gave me a look, and I suddenly felt dizzier than before. Octavian hadn't really seemed the type to be outwardly threatening. He was more the type to blackmail people. Sitting through the meeting showed me that he was a very gifted speaker, a trait he probably inherited from Apollo. He may have been a twig in any given arena, but in a senate, he had power. Nico was coming to that realization now, and I knew that if anybody tried to blackmail Hazel, they'd have Nico to answer to. That was scarier than anything Octavian could do.

"I'm going to talk with Reyna," Nico suddenly said. "Can you show her around, Jamey?"

I nodded. "Let's plan to head out tomorrow morning."

"Yeah," Nico agreed. He turned to Hazel. "I'll see you at lunch."

Hazel and I walked around the camp, and I pointed out as much as I could. I was finally feeling good enough to hold an actual conversation, and Hazel told me about her training with Lupa and finding her way to camp.

"We were starting to worry," I said. "Did you run into any Gorgons?"

Hazel shook her head. "I went underground. I could see just where I needed to go, but monsters kept popping up out of nowhere." She suddenly pulled my knife out of her backpack. "Here," she handed it to me. "It was helpful, but I don't think it's the weapon I'm meant to use."

I smiled at that. I strapped the knife to my waist, where I usually kept it. "I understand that feeling."

We spent the rest of the day showing Hazel around. Nico joined us at lunch. He'd taken his toga off and instead wore a black shirt with skulls on it and his loose jeans. He and Hazel talked for a while, so I turned my attention on Jason and Reyna.

"I'm going to petition that she join my cohort tonight at roll call," Jason informed me, nodding towards Hazel. "I'm certain Dakota or Gwen will stand for her."

"Good," I said. I'd been training with Jason for a while now, and I was impressed by his leadership skills. He'd be a good guide for Hazel.

"When are you leaving?" Reyna asked.

"In the morning," I said. "It's a long drive back, and by now my mom's probably eager to get the van back."

"And Nico will be going with you?" Reyna asked.

I nodded. "Maybe not the whole way, but I think he wants to get going, no matter where he ends up."

"Well, you know you're both welcome back whenever you want," Jason said, and he was smiling brightly. Reyna wasn't usually as positive as Jason was. They made a good team. She kept his feet on the ground.

"I'm sure Nico will be coming back to visit Hazel," I said. "But I don't know that I'll need to return. I prefer not to be a burden."

"You're not," Jason laughed. "But have a good trip back anyway. And if you're ever in the area, drop by and say hello."

I smiled at this. "I'll do my best."

What struck me about Jason was that he'd noticed the scars on my wrist almost immediately, and it hadn't changed anything. He treated me exactly like he treated everybody else, and I really appreciated it. He genuinely seemed to enjoy my company. I was totally not used to that.

Like Jason had promised, Hazel was accepted into the fifth cohort after Dakota stood for her. Nico and I would be leaving before the campers had to get up, so we said goodbye to everybody that night at dinner.

"Are you planning on coming back?" I asked that night as I packed up my bag.

"Every once in a while," Nico said. "To check on Hazel. That's what I asked Reyna about. She's going to let me stay in the barracks when I come back."

"What do you…?" I tried to find the right way to put it. "Do you think Jason is…you know, for real?"

"What?" Nico looked up from his packing.

"I mean, he's always so nice," I replied, zipping up the bag. "And he doesn't really judge. He's like…I just don't know if I can trust him. I mean, at least with Octavian, I know where I stand. But Jason…" I shrugged.

"I don't think he's that bad," Nico admitted. "Maybe a little too perfect."

"Right?" I asked, taking off my glasses and putting them on the nightstand. "Maybe that's what's getting me."

"Yeah," Nico said, getting into his bed. "It makes me nervous how flawless he is."

"Maybe he's got a big secret," I said, leaning back into my pillow.

"Like what?" He asked. He reached over and turned off the light. We were engulfed by darkness. "Self-esteem issues?"

"Or he's overcompensating." I heard Nico giggle a little in the darkness. We sat there in silence for a little while. "What are you going to do now?"

He was quiet for a few minutes, and I almost thought he wouldn't reply. Finally, I heard his voice. "I think I'm going to see my dad."

I wondered what that would be like, to go to the underworld as often as Nico did. For all the people down there, I still felt that it would be really lonely. I wondered what he did while he was there.

"Listen," I heard him shift in his bed, as if he were turning to face me. "I know Bacchus said something about you searching for the Doors of Death, but I don't think you should do that yet."

I was surprised that he'd even brought that up to begin with. We hadn't spoken about it at all since that day at Mr. D'z diner. "Believe me, going anywhere with the word 'death' involved is just about the last thing I want to do."

Again, Nico was quiet, and I thought the conversation was over. I closed my eyes, but I probably wasn't going to sleep much tonight anyway. I'd probably stay awake and worry all night like I usually did.

"Do you still want to die, Jamey?" Nico's voice was barely louder than a whisper, but I heard him clearly. My eyes snapped open.

I wish I'd known the answer to that. Every day since last spring, I'd asked myself that same question. And every day, I'd simply realize that I didn't know. I just…didn't know.

But Nico was asking me now, and the sound of his voice asking cut deeper than any of my own questions ever had. I found myself really thinking about it.

"No," I said, although really, I don't think I meant it. "No. I don't."

"It's just that," Nico said, just as gently as before. "The way you looked this morning, it just reminded me of–"

"Goodnight, Nico." I cut him off, pulling my blankets to my ears and turning my back to him.

After a moment, his reply came. "'Night."

We'd been driving for hours, and I was doing everything, everything in my power to stay awake. The sky was growing darker and darker and we were barely past the California border. We'd have to find a place to stay for the night, but we were on a stretch of barren land.

"Keep me awake," I told Nico. We'd mostly just been making small talk and listening to my iPod. I was tired of listening to music, though, so I turned the stereo off.

"How?"

"I don't know…" I thought of all the old road trip games my family used to play. It was getting too dark for I spy. "Um, three questions?"

"What's that?" Nico asked.

"It's a get to know you game," I said. "You ask me three questions and I ask you three. No boundaries, no limits. Ask anything. Hopefully the answer is long enough that we can talk for a little while. So, you first."

"Uh…" Nico looked out the window for a while. By now, we knew each other pretty well, so there was no need to ask things like birthdates and family details. "What's your middle name?"

I gave him a sideways glance. "So much for long. James is my middle name."

"Really?" Nico asked, taken aback.

"Yeah," I said. "Alexander James Sawyer. It's just about the whitest name my mom could come up with. I was named for Alexander the Great and Jesse James, the outlaw. But my mom's been calling me some variation of James all my life, so that's what I go by."

"You don't really look like an Alex. Well, okay," Nico thought for a little while. "Who was the most influential person in your life?"

"Do you mean famous people, or people I know personally?"

"People you know personally."

I sighed. "I guess it would have to be my English teacher from junior year. He had a really fun class, and he looked at writing in a completely different way from what I'd been taught in previous years. I guess I kind of realized when I was in that class that I could actually be a pretty good writer if I tried. I guess my piano teacher was a pretty good influence, too. I spent all four years of high school in his class, and he really helped me become a better musician. My Spanish teacher was also pretty good. I spent a lot of time around my teachers. Most of them actually cared about what happened to me."

"Nobody from camp?" Nico asked.

I shrugged. "I mean, Chiron was always a good teacher, but I was never really interested in the things he taught except archery. Last question."

"Last question," Nico sighed. He stared out the window for a few moments. "If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?"

That one kind of came out of nowhere. The tone of voice he used to ask the question was a little weird. He wasn't being entirely…casual.

"Uh," I actually had to think about this one. What would I change about myself? There were a few very…annoying things about me. Maybe my depression, or my anxiety, or maybe just my self-loathing. Those would be nice to get rid of. But reality told me that they were the things that made me who I was. I didn't necessarily have to be defined by them, but they were part of why I was there at that exact moment. Did I want to change that?

"I'd, um," I tried to find the right words. "I have haphephobia. It's the…the fear of being touched. I've had it for as long as I can remember, and it makes things really, really difficult sometimes."

"I've noticed," Nico replied.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, it…well, usually it shows up after a traumatic experience, but I have no idea what could've happened for me to get it. All I know is that every time somebody tries to touch me, I…I freeze up. It changes sometimes, depending on the person. Sometimes I just feel like I can't move. Other times it's like there's something crawling inside of me, like ants, or fire, or…" I was feeling really hot at the moment. "I'd like to…to not have that anymore. I mean, the worst part about it is that nobody ever understands. Humans are so dependent on human touch. They shake hands, hug each other, kiss…I can't do any of that. And people just expect it from me. They think it's rude when I don't…" I shook my head.

"But…" Nico said hesitantly. He seemed torn between pointing something out or letting it be.

"What?" I asked.

"At the hospital, I…you let me touch you," Nico said, and I think both of us felt kind of awkward when he said that.

I didn't know whether I should tell him the truth or not. I mean, it was pretty weird all around, but I didn't know how he'd react.

I took a deep breath. Might as well say it. "You're the only person I feel comfortable around."

Yeah, that was an awkward thing to say. Nico was quiet for a really long time before he spoke up again. "So, your turn?"

I was kind of glad for the darkness, because I was seriously blushing. I had a feeling that if I'd said something like that to any other guy, it wouldn't have been the same. I mean, I could say that to a girl, and they'd think it was sweet. For somebody raised in the 1930s, Nico was actually really accepting.

"Um…" I could see some lights in the distance. "Favorite band?"

"I don't really get much opportunity to listen to music," Nico admitted. "The only stuff I know is what you play. I like it, though. I can tell you I don't really like pop music."

"It's okay," I said. "No person of sound mind actually likes pop music. Okay, if you were stranded on a deserted island and could only take one thing with you, what would it be?"

"My sword," Nico said without much hesitation.

I laughed. "The island is deserted, it's not like you need protection."

"But I'd have to build shelter," Nico pointed out. "And it's not like I'd be staying there for long. I could just shadow travel away."

"You're so literal." I said.

"Last question?"

I couldn't really think what else to ask. I knew he was pretty touchy about a lot of subjects, especially concerning his older sister. But I couldn't think of any casual questions that I didn't already know the answer to.

"What's your favorite memory?" I asked.

Nico didn't speak for a while, and I wondered if he'd actually answer. Maybe it wasn't the wisest path, since he'd been dipped in the Lethe as a child, so he probably didn't have many good memories at all.

"There isn't a specific one," Nico finally said, which surprised me a little. "I…I just remember feelings. Good feelings, you know? Like, I remember how being around my mom felt, and how it feels to know that I had a family. When I remember those feelings…that's when I'm happiest. Thinking of my mom, and Bianca, and even Hazel, I just feel…protected."

We drove in silence for a while. The only towns we seemed to be passing were small and barren. Finding a hotel at this point was probably useless anyway. As I drove, though, I could see the stars glinting overhead, and I got an idea.

"Have you ever gone star chasing?"

Nico glance at me. "You're out of questions."

Without a second thought, I took the next exit and drove down a dirt road.

"Where are we going?" Nico asked.

"The idea is," I said. "You find the spot where the stars are clearest. A spot far away from pollution, city lights, and whatnot. It's a pretty clear night, so I think we'll have some luck."

Nico didn't quite know how to reply to all that, but eventually he rolled down his window and stuck his head out. "Turn left."

I did as he said, and kept driving. Every once in a while, he'd give me another command, and I'd follow it, until we were well away from the highway, or any sort of civilization.

"Stop here," Nico commanded, and I stopped the van. We got out and looked up, and I wondered how Nico had done it. We were in the middle of a very wide stretch of desert. I could see mesas in the distance, and dry earth and desert weeds crunched underfoot. But the real show was above us, in the sky. There were millions of brilliant lights, and it wasn't just bright white against a black backdrop. There were purples and blues and pinks swirling all around, giving us a beautiful, surreal painting.

I climbed on the hood of the van and up to the top. Nico joined me not long after, and we lay back, staring up at the stars. We pointed out a few of the constellations we knew, but mostly we remained silent. Neither of us wanted to spoil this moment. It was bordering on perfect. The night was warm, the air was clean and fresh, and I could feel myself relaxing ever so slightly. I could feel Nico lying next to me, and I wondered why it didn't bother me when he was so close. How was it that I could actually stand to have him so near, when I couldn't even let my own mother touch me? Perhaps it had something to do with how much time he spent in the Underworld. Maybe.

"Jamey?"

"Hm?"

"Can you remember a time when you were actually happy?"

I rested my head on my hands, staring up. "I felt happy around my siblings. Not always when I was alone with Kendra, but when all of us were together, just hanging out at night after capture the flag, playing music and singing together…I loved those nights. I felt like that's exactly where I wanted to be, with my family." My chest started to feel heavy. "But even with them, I've never really fit in. And Kendra…well, she always tried to make me feel like I wasn't worth anybody's time, but that was mostly because she was immature. I think she tries harder now. We both…I think we could both try harder." I glanced at Nico. "I've never had many moments where I was exactly where I wanted to be. I guess that's why I've never felt comfortable in my own home, or at camp."

"How do you feel now?" Nico asked.

"Look, Nico, what I said earlier…" he turned to look at me. "All I meant was…I consider you one of my closest friends. I don't have very many people to rely on."

"And you think you can rely on me?" Nico turned away from me. I couldn't really see him clearly, but I wondered what kind of expression he was wearing.

"You haven't let me down yet," I replied. "That's good enough for me."

Nico shifted a little bit, and I wondered what he was going to say next. Maybe this was a touchy subject, but I felt like Nico should know that he was important to me. Still, I began to fear that he might just shadow travel away from embarrassment.

"Jamey?"

"Yeah?"

"You're my best friend."

That kind of hit me a little harder than I was expecting. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat, and I suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

"Last night, when you asked," I could feel my throat closing up, but I could almost hear my therapist telling me to let it out. It was very annoying. "I think about it a lot. I keep…wondering if I could bring myself to try it again." I cleared my throat. "When I did it, I kept telling everybody that I…that it was an accident."

"But it wasn't," Nico said softly.

"No." I sat up, and I felt like the temperature had dropped. This was the first time I'd actually admitted that to anyone. I couldn't even bring myself to believe it.

Nico sat up as well. "What's stopping you?" He asked carefully.

"Well, for one," I replied. "I don't want to go to the Fields of Punishment. Look, it's not like I'm thinking about it all the time. I want to get better. I want to…to not be this…this freak anymore. I don't want people to treat me like I'm going to explode all the time. You know, I look at my sister, and she's so fucking perfect." I shook my head. "She's smart, confident, she makes people feel good, and she doesn't need to hurt herself to..." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "All my life, I've felt like I just don't belong anywhere. Like I shouldn't be alive."

I was suddenly enveloped in warmth, and I was so surprised that I really didn't know how to react. I couldn't remember another moment in my life when I'd been hugged without my freezing up. Nico's arms were around my neck, and after a moment I put my arms around him as well. I'd never enjoyed a hug before, but now…I guess now I understood why people craved human touch so much. I closed my eyes for a moment, savoring it. We'd probably look back on this and regret it, but right now, it just felt good to have someone there.

"I can't tell you what to do, Jamey," Nico whispered. "But I don't want to lose you, too."

Gods, I felt guilty. Nico didn't have many people to count on either, and then he told me that I was his best friend. I felt selfish and stupid for even thinking about killing myself. I began to understand how my mother must've felt watching me slip away like that. I took a deep breath and pulled away.

"Let's try to focus on more immediate problems," I said, looking around. "We should find a place to stay tonight. Do you, um, know where we are?"

"I have no idea," Nico replied. "Why?"

"Because I think I know where we can stay tonight." I said. I got into the van, and Nico followed. I checked our location on the GPS. We were about an hour out of Phoenix. I started the van and got back onto the main road, heading south. I asked Nico to get the emergency phone out of my bag, then gave him a number to type in. He put it on speaker.

"Hello?" A girl's voice spoke through the speakers of the flip phone.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?" I asked.

The girl paused before answering. "Jamey?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Darla, it's the tooth fairy."

Darla seemed to click her tongue. "What are you doing calling me over the phone? Where are you?"

"I'm about forty minutes out of Phoenix," I replied, just having passed a mile marker. "We need a place to stay tonight."

"Seriously?" Darla asked. "You're in Arizona? What the hell are you doing out here? And who's we?"

"My friend Nico and me," I replied. "We're just passing through. We're on our way back to Santa Fe."

"Well, you're welcome to come here," Darla replied. "You'll have to crash on the couch, but you don't mind, do you? We really need to catch up. I haven't seen you since, what, that time in New York?"

"We'll have to talk when I get there," I said. "Monsters in the dark and all."

"No problem," Darla said. "See you in a bit."

Nico closed the phone and looked at me. "Friend of yours?"

"Yeah," I replied. "We grew up together. She and my friend Mariah came out here for college. The plan had been that the three of us would get a place together and go to school, but obviously…" I shrugged. "I decided to kind of…postpone my pursuit of higher education. Anyway, Darla's studying to be a tattoo artist. She's really good. I'm sure you must've met them at camp."

"So they're demigods too?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Mariah's a daughter of Hermes, and Darla's a daughter of Aphrodite."

Even though it was dark, I could almost see Nico cringing.

"Don't worry," I said, smiling. "She's not your…average daughter of love. You'll see when we get there."

The van's gas tank was almost empty by the time we made it to the apartment complex where Darla and Mariah were living. Nico and I got out, and we climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. There was some shuffling inside, and then the door opened. Two college girls stood on the other side, smiling brightly. One of them had dark skin and a huge, pouffy cloud of curly brown hair. She was as skinny as a twig, so she resembled a bunch of broccoli. The other girl was heavier, with her dyed black hair tucked into a pink bandana. She had small gauges in both ears and a nose piercing. They were both already in their pajamas.

"Come in," the one with black hair, Darla, said. She had a very bright smile, and even in her Hello Kitty nightgown she was the perfect hostess. "You guys look exhausted. Are you hungry? We heated up some food for y'all. We put some blankets on the couch, so you're all set."

"Darla," I said. "This is Nico di Angelo."

"Son of Hades, right?" Mariah said. Her pajamas consisted of a ratty t-shirt with the words don't shoot the messenger written on it, as well as bright green shorts. "We were bunkmates in the Hermes cabin, remember? Sweet shadow powers, dude."

"Thanks," Nico replied, clearly surprised that they'd remembered him.

"So what's your deal?" Darla asked. We sat in their small kitchen and ate. They were paying for this apartment through a combination of income and parental help, so it wasn't much. It had two bedrooms, a tiny kitchen/dining room, one bathroom, and a small living room with two couches and a small television. Still, they kept it clean and very homey. Darla was very good at interior decorating.

"Just…driving home," I said. Given that they were Greek, I couldn't tell them about Hazel or the Roman camp. So what excuse could I give for driving through Arizona in the middle of the night?

"Jamey came to get me from California," Nico explained. "I needed a lift."

I wasn't sure whether or not the girls could see through his lie, but Mariah smiled. "That was nice of you, Jamey."

"Oh," Darla suddenly jumped up. "I'm so glad you're here, Jamey. I have to show you something." She ran off.

"Probably the scrapbook," Mariah explained. "She worked on it all summer, but she never got the chance to show you."

"Gosh, pictures of me in high school," I scratched the back of my neck. "Maybe I'm better off not seeing."

"It's more than high school," Mariah laughed. "We thought it would be good seeing how all of us grew."

"So you guys went to school together?" Nico asked, and I seriously hoped he wasn't feeling like an outsider. Mariah, Darla and I had been going to the same schools since we were in kindergarten. They weren't part of the Home or anything, they'd just lived in the same area. By some amazing miracle, all of us managed to stay out of trouble long enough to make it through. That isn't to say that there weren't a few close calls. There were some embarrassing times when Darla had had to explain how she'd managed to talk her teachers into giving her good grades. And Mariah was kind of a compulsive thief, but she never took anything important. And me…well, I just got my head shoved into the toilet a lot, and I started seeing counsellors early on because I kept showing up with cuts on my arms.

"Here it is," Darla sang, coming back into the room. I noticed something on her foot that I hadn't seen before.

"You got a tattoo?" I asked, looking at it closely. It was of a dark blue dove with pink highlights standing on a branch that twisted itself to look like a half heart.

"I designed it," Darla said. "It's the one I liked best, and I'm eighteen now, so I can actually get the tattoos I want." She set a large scrapbook down.

"It looks good," I said.

"Look," Mariah lifted her shirt enough to expose her rib cage. She had a colorful mandala tattooed on her left side, just below her right breast. "Darla designed mine, too. Pretty, huh?"

"That's awesome," I said. There was a lotus flower in the middle, and the colors were vibrant and beautiful.

"I should design one for you, Jamey. Maybe a cool-looking arrow or something," Darla said.

"Oh no," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "I don't think that's stereotypical enough. Why not add a lyre and a stupid quote about light while we're at it?"

"Ye have little faith. So Nico," Darla said, opening the book to the first page. "You get to see how much of a nerd Jamey was when he was a kid."

"I never stopped being a nerd," I grumbled.

"You were a cute kid, though," Mariah said, pointing to a picture of me as a three-year-old standing by the arroyo near my house. My hair was brighter then, but just as crazy.

"You guys are worse than my mom," I said, feeling heat rising to my cheeks. The pictures progressed to the three of us at Mariah's birthday party, me performing in the school's talent show, Darla drawing silly squiggles all over Mariah's arms and legs. As I saw these pictures, memories flooded back. These were taken before I understood that I was a demigod. All of us had been oblivious of our true identity then. I noticed that even though I looked somewhat teary eyed in a few of the shots, I looked considerably happier.

The pictures changed to middle school, when I was in the habit of wearing long sleeves no matter what the temperature was. There was a shot of me with my first pair of glasses. I looked more serious in these photographs, like I'd suddenly decided not to be a kid anymore.

Then the shots turned into my high school days. In every picture, I was thin, lanky, awkward, and shorter than all of the other guys my age. From the beginning of freshman year to the end of sophomore year, my teeth were confined to braces. In most of the pictures, I was either wearing a forced smile or no smile at all.

The one picture in which I really looked happy was taken on Valentine's Day my junior year. From what I remembered of that day, none of us wanted to be those stereotypical single people who complained all the time, so we'd decided to go out to dinner as a group. The picture featured the three of us smiling into the camera with chicken wings and sodas littering the table. The light in the shot was warm, and we all looked relaxed, like we weren't trying to force ourselves into having a good time. We just were.

The rest were more typical pictures of high school. Mariah trying to teach me how to ice skate; the three of us at an amusement park; me playing my guitar. There were a few pictures from senior prom that I really didn't want to look at. It wasn't just that I looked like a dork in my black and gold suit, but prom had happened the week before I'd tried to kill myself, and I hated remembering such a dark time.

"Oh, Nico," Darla suddenly exclaimed. They'd mostly been giving general commentary on what was what and so on. "I forgot that there's a picture of you here, too."

I looked at the picture she was pointing to, and I felt incredibly surprised. It was a picture of me in my hospital bed. There I was leaning back into my pillow, looking pale and mad, and flipping off the person taking the picture. Yeah, real mature. Nico was sitting in a chair next to me, looking very uncomfortable, like he wasn't sure why there was a camera being pointed at him. I remembered that moment. Kendra had taken this picture, although I wasn't entirely clear on why.

"How did you get this?" I asked.

"I told Kendra I was making a scrapbook for graduation," Darla said, and she sounded kind of apologetic. "I asked her if she had any embarrassing photos of you, and she gave me this one. Sorry, I probably shouldn't have…"

"It's fine," I said quickly. I finished looking through the book, but after that there were only graduation pictures amidst a few generic growing up quotes. I'd missed my graduation because I'd been sent to camp early. Really, it was kind of amazing that I got out of high school, given my condition. But Darla and Mariah looked good in their black and red caps and gowns. There was a picture of Darla with her dad and stepmom, and another one of Mariah with her mother and brothers. I really wished I could've been there. If I hadn't been so unstable, I would've been allowed to give the Salutatorian speech. Instead, the speech went to the girl who was third in our class. Apparently all of the speeches had been pretty terrible.

Darla and Mariah talked about college. Darla was at an art institute, while Mariah was studying psychology at a state university. They both had a lot of complaints, but mostly it seemed like they were really enjoying themselves.

"Do you guys get attacked a lot?" Nico asked.

"Sometimes," Mariah replied. "We mostly get a lot of Hellhounds on this side of the country, but we're pretty cautious all around."

"So you're not going back to camp, then?" Darla asked both of us, and we shook our heads.

"That's too bad," Mariah said. "But it's getting so crowded there now. I hear they're still getting more and more campers."

"Well, at least the gods are following through with their promise," I said. "Although I doubt they appreciated being schooled by a demigod."

"It's about time they did it, though," Darla said. "I mean, I'm not saying that what Luke did was right, but there were so many demigods who never made it to camp, or the Home. A lot of them were just left to die on their own."

We all shifted uncomfortably. Demigods know not to talk badly of their godly parents, but these were sentiments shared by a lot of us. I was one of the lucky ones. My mother had known all along that I'd need to go to camp sooner or later. There are some, though, that never make it there because they have no idea, or they don't make it in time. They're simply picked off by monsters.

"Well, no one ever tried to tell us our lives would be easy," Mariah said. "We didn't choose to be this way, but we pay for it anyway."

I looked down, my arms crossed over my chest. Nico looked the same way I felt. No, we didn't choose to be born demigods, just like we didn't choose our race, gender, sexual orientation, or anything like that. The only difference was that our being born was really the gods' fault. They could easily stop having children, and many would be saved from the suffering involved with being a demigod. Sometimes I felt that the gods were just really fucking selfish.

"There it is, then," I said, standing up. "We're all cursed regardless of how hard we try to get away. Life sucks and then you die. Where's your restroom?"

"At the end of the hall," Darla said.

"I'm going to bed, then," Mariah stood up. "We'll talk more in the morning. We've missed you, Jamey."

I smiled at her. "I've missed you guys, too."

I grabbed my bag and went to change into my pjs. Nico was waiting outside with his stuff when I came out.

"You're okay with staying here, right?" I asked.

He nodded. "I like them. They're nice."

He went into the bathroom and closed the door. Mariah was already in her room, but Darla was in the kitchen cleaning up.

"I met your mom," I said softly. I didn't want anybody else to hear. I was still uncomfortable with the whole ordeal, even if it had happened weeks ago.

"Seriously?" Darla laughed a little. "What, did she tell you about some horrid, tragic love story she's planning for you?"

"Essentially, yes," I replied. "She told me," I sighed, shaking my head. "She told me I'm going to fall for somebody and it's going to be complicated and confusing."

"Really?" Darla actually looked shocked at this. "You, Jamey, are going to fall for somebody? Like, you're actually going to fall in love with another human being? That's a miracle."

I rolled my eyes. "Hey, maybe it won't be with a human being. She did say it'd be complicated."

"So, what, you're going to fall in love with like a harpy or something?" Darla asked.

"Well, she said it'd be a friend of mine." I leaned against the wall. "She didn't really specify. I just…I don't know. She made it seem like it was important."

"Well, it's Aphrodite," Darla replied, walking past me into the living room. Both couches had blankets and pillows on them. "To her the only important things are love and heartbreak. Did she say you'd be falling for a girl?"

"Why…wouldn't it be a girl?" I asked. Darla looked at me, raising an eyebrow. I suddenly blushed furiously. "You…you don't think–?"

"Hey, I'm not saying anything." Darla lifted her hands in a pacifying gesture. "But this is Aphrodite we're talking about, and if any of the gods like screwing with people's emotions, it's her."

"Yeah, but," I shook my head. "I don't remember a single time when I've actually been attracted to anybody, boy or girl. I mean, I can acknowledge that people are good-looking, but…"

I closed my mouth when I heard the toilet flushing. Nico came out of the bathroom and looked at me, then at the couches. "I'll take the smaller one, then." he said.

Darla smiled knowingly. "We'll talk more in the morning. We have lots to discuss. Goodnight boys." She went to her own room and shut the door.

Nico looked at me. "What were you guys talking about?"

I cleared my throat. "Just…stuff. It's late. We should probably go to sleep. I'll call my mom in the morning before we leave." I went to the couch and put the blankets on, then reached over and turned off the only lamp that was on. "'Night."

"'Night," Nico replied, although he didn't sound satisfied.

That night, I dreamt about falling. Not much else happened in the dream. I was just falling and falling forever. My subconscious kept telling me to spread my wings. They'll help you fly, a voice like iron in my mind kept saying. Wings will help you fly! I feel like if I'd slept longer, I might've hit the bottom, but I was suddenly shaken awake. I sat up with a bolt, almost reaching for my bow, when I remembered where I was.

Darla was standing over me, looking worried. "Nico's gone."

"Gone?" I asked, still a little disoriented. "Gone where?"

Darla shrugged. "I came out to make breakfast, and he was gone. He even folded his blankets. I thought maybe he'd gone out to take a walk or something, but all of his stuff is gone. Did he mention anything last night?"

"No," I rubbed my eyes, still waking up. "He must've shadow traveled away." I suddenly felt really sad. He hadn't even said goodbye. I ran through everything that had happened last night, from our drive through Arizona to the moment before we'd gone to sleep. Had I insulted him somehow?

I grabbed my glasses and put them on. Indeed, the blankets on Nico's couch were folded neatly, and there was no sign that he'd left anything behind, not even a note.

"Come on," Darla said. "We'll have breakfast, then we can try to Iris-message him. He might still be close by."

I doubted it. Nico could shadow travel to China in less than a minute. If he wanted to be far away, no doubt he was there already. I'd have to drive back to New Mexico on my own. That really felt depressing.

I ate breakfast with Darla and Mariah, then tried Iris-messaging Nico. There was no response. He either didn't want to talk, or he was somehow out of range, if that was possible. Instead, I called my mom and told her I was on my way home. She asked about Hazel and Nico, and I told her about what had happened these past few weeks. I finished by telling her that Nico was with his father, because really, that's probably where he'd gone. I told her I loved her, then waved my hand through the mist. It was time to go home.

I grabbed my stuff and said goodbye to my friends. They pointed me to the nearest gas station, and Darla packed some brownies for me to eat on the way back.

Soon after I filled up, I was back on the road and heading home. It was still a good four or five hours, but I wanted to do it all in one go. I don't know why I was so upset, but I hated to think that I'd driven Nico away. Of all the people I couldn't stand to hurt, he was at the top of the list.

I turned on my music, blasting it as loud as I could stand, and flew down the highway. The sooner I got back to Santa Fe, the better.

Please review! Happy fall!