...leave it up to you...

Chapter 11 : Give it a chance

Quistis

Squall really doesn't want to follow through with Rinoa's plan. Not that he doesn't want to help; I just don't think he's ready to accept failure on something like this, and Rinoa's plan is really iffy. I mean, we might lose Seifer forever if Squall can't get through to him. Tamiel, too.

Tamiel's cried so many times over Seifer since he's gotten here. It hurts to see her that upset. She and I never got to know each other as well as I would have liked, but regardless of that she's my friend and one of Rinoa's best friends. They both need to at least try to work with Rinoa's plan for Seifer.

"Quistis?"

I turn around and Zell's giving me a funny look. He's got a tray of hot dogs - oh Hyne, I think he's got a tray of all the hot dogs for the next week - and a salad, I think. Oh, that must be for me. He sits down and leans forward to kiss me, but I'm not in the mood.

"Well, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were thinking about Squall," Zell comments as he picks up a hot dog. As he puts it into his mouth I reply half-consciously,

"I am."

Zell chokes on the hot dog and I don't really notice until he spits it out. I stare at him, then shake my head and apologize profusely. "I'm so sorry, oh Hyne, are you alright Zell?'

He frowns and stands up after putting my salad in front of me. "Quis, you really know how to piss people off, yanno that?" He walks away with his hot dogs and I watch. And I don't do anything. I'm not doing anything. I just let him walk away from me without a word.

"... Quistis, why'd you let Zell just walk away?" I turn around and watch as Tamiel sits down next to me, a funny look on her face.

To tell the truth, I used to be jealous of her and Zell. They were always all over each other, hugging and smiling and fooling around. It just seemed okay for them since they were such good friends and Tamiel's only into girls. I was jealous because I wanted it to be like that with me and Zell but I'm not Tamiel, and I don't just run over to someone and jump into their arms. She, however, does.

"Quistis?" Tamiel repeats, frowning. I nod and answer,

"I didn't know what to do." Zell and I have only been going out for a few weeks; I don't know if Tamiel's even aware of that.

She picks a tomato off my salad and eats it, then asks, "He looked like he wanted a kiss. Are you guys really that close?"

I was right. She doesn't know we've been dating or seeing each other or whatever people call it. "Zell and I are... dating."

"O-oh. Really? I never knew you were interested in Zell," she said. "I mean, he's liked you since before Ultimecia tried to take over the world and all..."

I didn't know that. I didn't ever think he had feelings like that for me. I was always just his teacher, and he was always just my student. The only person I ever noticed was Squall... oh Hyne. That's what must have made him mad. Zell must think I still feel something for Squall since I just spent the whole morning with him and Rinoa.

Tamiel smiles and shrugs her shoulders. "Didn't know that, hmm?"

"N-no, I didn't."

"Well, he fell head-over-heels for ya a long time ago, but you always liked Squall and he was too afraid to say anything to you. Maybe you should find him and talk to him," she says. There's a twinkle in her eye and I know she's right. Zell doesn't have low self-esteem, but he's never thought of himself as something worth catching and keeping, relationship wise that is.

I stand up and nod. "You're right, Tam. I'm going to find him right now."

"Try his dorm room. And can I have your salad?"

Laughing, I nod. "Go ahead. I've got to make sure I don't lose someone very important to me."

I finally find Zell in the Infirmary. He's sitting over someone, but I can't tell who yet. It's... oh Hyne it's Rinoa. I run over and shove past a few students to get to them. Rinoa's eyes are closed and Zell's hot dogs have been left unattended on a counter.

"What happened?" I asked. Zell doesn't look up but replies,

"She was training and a T-Rexaur messed her up real bad. Irvine brought her in and went back to the Training Center to get some kind of herb or plant or something that's supposed to actually wake her up. I just don't want him to get back too soon in case she's still in pain."

I don't know what he means by pain. "Pain?"

Zell looks at me, then lifts up the sheet over her stomach. There's a huge gash across it and I have to look away. I've never seen Rinoa hurt so bad. There's so much blood and exposed skin...

I look for the trash can and fall to my knees, vomiting into it. I vomit again before someone hands me a tissue to wipe my mouth. I look over and Zell's kneeling next to me. "It's okay, I got sick too."