While I Wait
Chapter Five.
On Monday morning Kate received a text from Gina asking her to meet for lunch. Kate thought it was odd that she wouldn't just want to meet her at her office, but lunch sounded like a great idea. She hadn't been out of the house much lately and it gave her a reason to do something with herself.
When Kate walked in to the bistro she saw Gina sitting at a table for two in the back corner. She made her way over, pulling her sunglasses from her face and shoving them in her purse as she sat down across from her.
The look on Gina's face was telling, she knew that she had made it through the manuscript and she could see the pity on her face.
"Don't look at me like that Gina."
"So it's true?" She asked, peering over glass as she took a drink.
"Well, why else would I write it. Look, I really don't want anyone to know quite yet, I am just over two months along and I just want to make it out of the first trimester before anyone finds out."
She nodded, "So I'm the only one who knows?"
"Well Alexis knows as well, but other than that, yeah… just you."
"I don't want to scare you Kate, but you know that the press is going to eat this up right?"
"Oh I know, I just…"
As soon as the waitress made her way to them Kate stopped talking. The last thing she needed was for her secret to be released to the press by some waitress that overheard them.
"Sorry to interrupt, can I get you something to drink? And are you ready to order?"
Kate smiled at the young girl, and pulled her menu open and glanced over it. "I'll just take a water, and whatever the soup of the day is."
"Okay, is that all?"
She shut the menu and handed to the waitress. "Yes, thank you"
As soon as the waitress was gone again Kate made sure to look around to make sure no one else was eavesdropping. She lowered her voice, not quite to a whisper, but low enough that no one around them could hear.
"Look I know that the press is going to have a heyday and that's why I want to keep it between us for now, at least until I'm out of my first trimester and maybe even until I cant hide it anymore."
"Well I loved the book Kate, and I think that it has great potential, I want to take it to print immediately, I think that the sooner we get it out the better. I mean his fans are going to eat this up, as well as the rest of America, and when they find out you're pregnant, you might be on the cover of every magazine. I just want you to be prepared for what you'll be getting yourself in to."
Kate took a deep breath and folded her arms over each other on the table, "You think it's going to be that popular."
"Are you kidding me Kate? Your fiancé had a huge following and was a pretty big public figure, the story on its own would be a hit, and now you have this to add to it."
"Wow… I guess I hadn't really thought much about it, I just kind of wanted to tell our story, to show everyone what kind of person he was."
"and you did a great job of that, really. I mean the book is amazing, I laughed and cried through most of it, and the ending, it's beautiful Kate."
A smile spread across her face, and a blush made its way upon her cheeks. "I'm flattered I really am, I just didn't think that you would love it so much."
"I'm serious about getting the ball rolling. We need to start contract negotiations immediately and get this thing off to print. We don't want to waste time, plus it will make it easier for you to do a book tour before you get too pregnant."
Kate sat up a little straighter, and pulled her napkin into her lap. "A book tour? Gina I don't know about all that."
"Well you're going to have to promote the book, that's part of it. And like I said, the press is going to eat you up so we need to make sure you're prepared for the questions they will be asking and the interest they will be showing in you and in this baby."
"I mean do you think this is a good idea, to subject myself to the criticism I might receive."
"It wont be easy, but you're a strong woman, and as long as you go in to this knowing what will be thrown at you, it shouldn't be a problem."
The waitress appeared again out of nowhere, delivering the soup and her water, before heading over to another table to take their order.
"Are you doing okay? Health wise is the baby doing good?"
"Yeah, my doctors were a little concerned initially just because I hadn't been taking care of myself properly. I mean my fiancé had just passed away and I was suffering through a bout of depression I guess you could say, but everything is fine now. I'm healthy, the baby is healthy and things are great."
"I mean you said you're just over two months along, which means you had just gotten pregnant before he died."
"Yeah, i..uhhh, we had talked about it, and decided to stop using birth control and bam…. Here I am, two months later, basically widowed and pregnant. It's not ideal of course; I mean I want him here. But he isn't here, and this baby is all I have left of him."
She noticed that Ginas eyes had gotten heavy and she could see the tears forming as she tried to blink them away. "Gina, don't cry."
"I can't help it. I mean I just feel so bad for you. I know that you're happy about this baby, but it's not how it should have happened. I know Rick loved you so much and he was so excited about your wedding about starting a family with you. I just can't help but imagine how excited he would be." She said, wiping away the tears as they ran down her cheeks.
Kate let out a low laugh, a smile plastering itself on her face, one she couldn't wipe off if she tried. "He would be so excited, so proud of himself for getting me pregnant so fast. I know that he loved me Gina, and I know that he wanted a family with me. Of course I am heartbroken that this is my circumstance, but I am so blessed to have this opportunity. I am ready for whatever this book brings me, and I know it will be a whirlwind journey, but it excited me. I know that he would want me to do something for myself, something that will make me happier, and this is it. I want to do this, and I am ready to start negotiations immediately."
"Well then, I'll set up a meeting. You need to contact Rick's lawyer and have him accompany you to the meeting. Of course we are going to give you exactly what you want, this book is going to be more successful than any of Ricks previous books. I just want to reiterate that once this news gets out Kate, you're going to be a public figure on your own, so be careful who you surround yourself with. Keep your loved ones close and everyone else at arms length."
"I got it."
Xx
Over the next few weeks they finalized her book deal and sent the book off to print. Everything was happening so fast, and Kate was thankful for that, it was keeping her busy. Keeping her mind off of things that she didn't have time to worry about. She was trying her hardest to stay home, hiding her new bump from the public eye. It wasn't really visible unless she wore tight clothing, which she never did, but she still wanted to keep it to herself until her family knew. She had been able to hide it from Martha and her father. It had been hard not to tell them but she was doing it to protect them in case something did happen.
When she went to her three-month appointment and got the all clear that she and the baby were both healthy, she decided that it was time to tell everyone. She invited everyone over for dinner, telling them that it was to make up for her lack of interaction with them, but as they all sat around the table, picking at the boxes of Chinese food splayed across, Lanie couldn't help but call her out.
"So what's the real reason we're here Kate?" She asked, taking a bite of her food and focusing her stare on her best friend.
Kate finished chewing and looked back at her, "Umm, what makes you think I have ulterior motives?"
The whole table broke out in laughter and Kate looked around at each of them.
"Lets be serious Katie, we all know how unlike you this is. You have been distant for months, and all of a sudden you want to bombard yourself with all of our company?" Her dad asked.
So they had found her out, maybe she should have thought this through better, but honestly this would be easier. Getting it all out of the way at once, they would be less mad at her for hiding it for so long if they were all together right? Or was that something that she just made up to try and protect herself from their reactions.
Her silence brought her dad to a point where he decided he would just pick, and throw some possible issues out at her. "Kate, if you need help…. financially, you know I can help you."
Martha and Alexis both looked at each other and then laughed, "Oh Jim dear, she is taken care of. Money is no issue for her now, Richard left her a huge chunk of change."
"Oh I guess she didn't tell me that, but when would she have? I haven't properly spoken to her about anything since the accident."
Kate pushed her chair back and stood up, "Can we not talk about the accident? Did you all ever think that's the reason I distance myself. So I don't have to rehash the fact that he's dead every time I see you all. I get it, he's gone, and he isn't coming back, now can we stop talking about it." She snapped at them, grabbing her plate and taking it to the kitchen.
Her dad stood up and followed behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders and running them down her arms to calm her as he stood behind her, "I'm sorry Katie, I didn't mean to…" he sighed, "I just feel like you're avoiding it, like you aren't dealing with his death properly."
She spun around to face him, a tear escaping as she did so, but she swept it away before it made it far, "I deal with it every single day. It's not something I don't think about, but it's something I don't want to talk about with you all. I want my family and friends to be my safe place. I go to therapy to talk about him."
His eyebrows arched at her admission. He had no clue that she had been seeing a therapist, and he was proud of her for doing so. He had imagined her holed up in Ricks bedroom, alone, crying all the time. I mean she ignored all his calls and text and often times he had to reach out to Alexis just to make sure she was okay.
He cleared his throat and smiled at her, "I had no idea you were in therapy."
"Oh," she rolled her eyes, "Once you hear what I'm about to tell you all, you're going to believe it's more than necessary."
"Is something wrong Kate?"
"Not wrong, just complicated, things are more complicated, but… I want to tell everyone together."
She walked back out to the table, where everyone was eating quietly and she took a seat.
"So I did invite you here to tell you something, but I don't really know how to sugarcoat it, or I don't even know…." She shook her head back and forth.
"Kate, I can help." Alexis offered up, taking Kates hand in her own and giving her a reassuring squeeze.
She looked up at the younger girl and gave her a smile back. "No, Lex, it needs to come from me, but thank you."
She looked around the table, eyes all focused on her, and she decided to just come out with it, just let it out.
"I…ummmm…. I'm pregnant." She confessed.
"I knew it!" Lanie yelled out.
"You knew?" Kate asked, her eyes shooting around the table trying to read everyone elses faces.
"I told Javi after our pizza night. I just had this weird feeling about you."
"It's true, she did. She almost asked about it but I told her you would tell us when you were ready."
"I just wanted to make it out of my first trimester first. Everyone has already dealt with so much loss lately I didn't want to tell you and then if something had happened we would have to deal with that too."
"So it's Ricks?" her dad asked.
"Of course it's Ricks, who elses would it have been?"
"I don't know, you could be seeing someone else."
"No dad, I'm not seeing someone else, and thats not something I'll be worried about ever. I don't want anyone else. Rick and I started trying right before the wedding, well I should say that we discussed it and I got off my birth control. He was nervous about us conceiving and he though we should start immediately, but I don't think he assumed it would happen so quickly."
"Are you okay? I mean….. you want this baby right?" Martha asked.
She took a deep breath and settled her hands in her lap, "I'm nervous, about doing it without him, of course. But I mean this baby was a gift from him and I'm really excited about it."
"Well we are all happy for you Katherine. I know Rick would have been ecstatic."
A smile spread across her face at the thought of Rick.
"I also have another little bit of news. I wrote a book, about us, Rick and I. It's actually going to print and will probably be coming out sooner rather than later. Gina is rushing it so that I can do the book tour and everything before I'm too pregnant."
"How far along are you?" her father asked
"Today was my three month appointment. I'm out of the first trimester and the doctors say everything looks great."
He took as sigh of relief, "Well I'm happy for you, and I'm glad that this explains a little bit of your distance. I was really starting to worry."
"Yeah, I'm sorry." She apologized.
'Look as long as you and the baby are healthy, we are happy. And if this book thing is what is going to help you, then we are all for it, right guys?" Her dad asked the table and they all started to nod and offer their support.
It hadn't been as hard as she thought. Telling them was freeing, and overall she felt a lot less stress now that it was off her chest. Now all she had to focus on was staying healthy and preparing herself for the release of this book.
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