While I Wait
Chapter Seven.
They shoved Kate into the back of the SUV that was taking them back to their hotel to get their things. She felt helpless, he was all the way across the country and she couldn't be there for him when he needed her most. Her mind was filled with horrific tales of what could have happened, what he must have been through over the past five months. Was he being held captive, had he finally been able to escape.
She turned towards Gina who looked just as anxious as she was. "Have they talked to him?" The car remained quiet, and Gina just shrugged her shoulders. "Do we know anything?" She questioned, her frustration growing at the lack of knowledge.
Gina cleared her throat, taking a deep calming breath before wrapping her hands around Kate's "Kate, look, all they said is that he was picked up after waving a car down. He hasn't talked to anyone other than the guy who picked him up. Rick had them call the NYPD to get ahold of you and when they told him you no longer worked there he freaked out and wouldn't talk to anyone."
Kate grabbed her purse from the ground and pulled her phone out, she didn't have any missed calls. He knew her number by heart, they had been partners for too long for him to not have remembered her number. Why wouldn't he just call her, let her know that he was safe and on his way back to her.
The flight home was miserable and long, and she couldn't relax, airplanes were already uncomfortable because she was pregnant, but now she was pregnant and anxious. She felt nauseous the whole time, maybe it was that she hadn't eaten lunch and the baby was clearly begging for food but she couldn't eat, her appetite was gone. All she wanted was to hug him, to run her fingers through his hair and wrap her arms around his neck and never let go. She couldn't wait to see him, to kiss him, to tell him that he was going to be a father again.
When she arrived at the precinct and the elevator doors opened she immediately started searching the room for him. She spotted Esposito first and took off towards him, a smile spreading across her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Where is he Espo?" She asked. When she took a step back to look at him she could tell something was wrong.
"Listen Kate, I don't know what's going on, because he wont talk, but something is off, something is wrong." He tried to explain without freaking her out too much.
She crossed her arms over her chest, almost in a protective way, "What do you mean… off?"
"He doesn't want to talk to anyone except you. He refused medical attention until he saw you as well, so the doctors haven't even had a chance to examine him to see what's going on."
"Okay, well, where is he, let me see him."
"He is in interview one….." he said, and she took off immediately, "But Kate." He yelled and she whipped back around to face him. "Don't push him, and if something seems off don't take it personal."
"Espo, I'm not stupid. I wouldn't push, I love him."
He nodded, "I know, that's why I'm telling you to be careful."
She turned back and walked as fast as she could towards the interview room where so many times before she had spoken to families of victims.
She shoved the door open and he looked towards her, "Kate, thank God!"
She couldn't get to him fast enough as she threw her arms around his neck and began to kiss his cheeks, he immediately stiffened and sat her back down on the ground.
"Whoa, that's new…" he laughed, and she shook her head in confusion.
"New?"
"Since when are you so affectionate towards me?" he asked as he ran his hand down her arm.
"Babe, I'm always…"
"Babe? What? Did something happen that I'm not aware of?" he laughed again.
"Rick, I always call you babe."
His eyes started to search the room, "Are you all playing some kind of joke on me?" he asked, looking up and down her body, studying her, "And are you pregnant?"
"Yeah, actually, five months, we must have conceived the night before the wedding." She laughed, reaching up to run her hand over his chest.
He removed her hand from his chest, confusion starting to sweep over him. "Why do you keep touching me like that? And you're married? I'm so confused, I've only been in the Hamptons a few weeks."
"The Hamptons? It's your baby Rick, we're engaged." She stuck her left hand up to flash her engagement ring in front of him. "You don't remember… You don't remember us being together?" She started to breathe heavily, panic flushing over her body as she looked towards the open door where Esposito was now standing. "Tell him Javi, tell him we are engaged, tell him we were suppose to be getting married." She pleaded.
Javier nodded towards Castle, unable to let the words out in fear that he might confuse him more, "Look I think we should get him to a doctor."
"Okay, yeah." She agreed, something was wrong, but she didn't want him to panic so she reached for Castles hand, intertwining their fingers, "We are gonna go to the hospital okay, just to get you checked out, maybe get some answers."
He blinked a few times trying to sort his thoughts. Everything was a little foggy when he woke up, but this… this was getting more and more confusing by the minute. He began to walk with Kate as she ushered him out of the precinct and into Esposito's waiting cruiser. She let him sit in the front seat and she took the back seat, urging him to buckle up before Esposito even had the chance to start the car.
She knew he was confused about what was going on and part of her was scared to death that he didn't remember their relationship, but she was also just completely thankful that he was even there. She had a million questions that she wanted to ask him, but she knew he didn't have the answers to any of them. So she sat silently in the backseat, watching him as he stared out the window. He had to be scared, nervous. You don't just wake up in an unfamiliar place and think everything is going to be okay. Something bigger had to be going on but without his memory they would never figure it out.
When they made it to the hospital Kate got out first, trying to help him out of the car but he refused. "Kate you're pregnant, you shouldn't be worried about me." He was frustrated and that was apparent but she didn't know how to give him space right now.
"Babe.." She took a deep breath realizing that that too would confuse him. "Rick, I know you don't remember us, and that's okay, but I do remember us, so if I want to help you, or protect you, that's what I'm gonna do, because that is the only thing I have control over right now."
He exhaled a breath he had been holding in the whole time she was talking. He was trying not to be rude or pushy but all he wanted to do was find the answers he needed. "I know, and I'm sorry and even though I don't remember us in a relationship, you still mean a lot to me and I'm gonna try to be understanding Kate but you're gonna have to let me figure it out on my own, okay?"
"Okay. Fine." She took his hand leading him towards hospital entrance.
The doctors immediately carted him off to check him out, asking Kate to stay in the waiting room and be patient because it might take a few hours. She decided that she should probably clue Alexis and Martha in so she called and told them to go ahead and come up.
It felt like an eternity but when she saw the two red headed women enter the room relief spread threw her body. She stood to embrace Alexis, accepting the full force hug the girl gave her.
"Is he okay Kate, it's been hours, what's going on?"
She pulled Alexis to sit next to her, Martha taking a seat on the opposite side of her. "Look, you all. I don't want to speak about what I don't know yet, but he doesn't remember our relationship. He knows me, but the last thing he remembers was being in the Hamptons. I'm not sure at what point though, but it was before we started dating."
"So he said he was in the Hamptons and then what?"
"I honestly am not even sure Lex. He seemed confused about everything, which confused me. Maybe the doctors will have more information after they examine him."
Alexis sat back in her chair, slumping down in frustration, "So we just wait?"
Kate shrugged her shoulders, "I guess so."
They sat there in silence for another 30 minutes or so before the nurse finally came to get them, escorting them back to the doctors office instead of to Rick. They took a seat and the doctor made his way in right after them.
"Good afternoon Miss. Beckett is it? And who are these two lovely women?" he asked, taking a seat in his chair across the desk from them.
"This is his daughter Alexis, and his mother Martha Rogers." Kate introduced the women.
"So we have good and bad news, more bad, but not horrible. Mr. Castle has something we call posthypnotic amnesia, which basically means that he has a lot of his memory just not a portion of it. It can be caused by a few things but most likely he had to do with head trauma, we did a brain scan and there is a lot of swelling but not enough to cause huge concerns. We cant be absolutely sure of the cause seeing how he doesn't remember much at all, but we have hope that as the swelling goes down his memory might return."
"So it could be temporary." Martha asked.
"Yeah, I mean it's been what? Five months you said?"
"Since the crash that we thought he died in… yes." Kate rolled her eyes, mad at herself for not making sure it was his body inside the car.
"I mean with proper care things could go a lot better. No telling where he has been or what he has been up to. I mean you say that he was in a crash and they thought it was his body in the car, right?"
"Yes, but that is for the detectives to work on. I am more concerned with his health now."
"Yes, of course. I see no reason why he cant go home, it might be best to be surrounded by his things and the people he loves. Of course we encourage you not to push his memory or place memories in his head, because then we wont know if he remembers because he was told or because he remembered on his own."
"Right, of course. That makes sense. So we just take him home and lead our normal lives?" Kate asked.
"Yeah, I mean to an extent. You are going to have to ease him in though, don't push him to do things he isn't comfortable with. In other words, just let him lead the way."
"Sure, of course. So since he doesn't remember our relationship should I avoid it, until he remembers?"
"Look.." he positioned his body towards Kate. "I know you're pregnant and it's going to be hard to deal with him not understanding, but just let him come to you. He remembers you as a person, let that be enough."
"Okay, I mean whatever you think is going to help him."
Xx
The loft was almost too quiet when they got back. Rick wandered around, taking in the differences in décor since Kate had moved in.
"Why is my Lion picture in the office now?" he asked, as he came back into the kitchen were Kate was cooking.
"Well, we had a disagreement about him about a year ago. I hated waking up to him and going to bed with him staring at me, so you moved him to the office."
"Gosh, I must have really loved you." He laughed as he slid up on a bar stool across from her.
"I'd like to think you loved me as much as I love you." she smiled, continuing to chop at the carrots for the salad she was making.
"I don't want to be rude or anything Kate, but I just don't remember…us."
"I know you don't, but that's okay. The doctor seems to think that in time your memories will come back to you."
"And what if they don't?" he asked.
She sat the knife down on the counter and placed both of her hands on her hips. "Look, this isn't the worse we've been through okay, and we loved each other more than anything in the world before this happened. There isn't a doubt in my mind that we were meant to be together. So if we have to rebuild that love, then we will do that. I don't plan on going anywhere if you cant tell." She ran her hand across her stomach and winked at him.
"Is it a boy or girl?"
"I don't know yet, I wanted it to be a surprise."
"Oh come on, really Kate."
She laughed at his whininess, she knew he was impatient, but she hadn't expected it already.
"It will be fun to wait."
"For who?"
"For the both of us."
A knock came from the door and Kate left the kitchen to answer it, pulling it open Gina immediately hugged her, "Is he okay Kate, I've been worries sick about you and the baby and him."
As she stepped back from the hug Gina immediately noticed Rick walking towards her. He was love struck and in awe. The look that was usually reserved for Kate was being given to his ex wife, to one of Kate's closest friends.
Sorry this chapter sucked, I seriously could not get it together as hard as I tried. Hope you are still enjoying the story. How do you think this little love triangle is going to play out?