While I Wait
Chapter 9
She walked into the kitchen to find him sitting at the bar, newspaper stretched across the counter top, the smell of coffee in the air.
"God, you must hate me…" She said as she rounded the bar, startling him initially but receiving a smile after he caught her eyes.
"Hate you?" He replied, unsure of what she meant.
"The coffee, I know that's one thing you remember about me.. I love coffee."
"And… you can't have any, because of the baby."
"Right." She smiled, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water, taking a sip and setting it on the counter. Her eyes glued to him, watching as he scrolled through the pages.
"Did you sleep good?" she asked, trying to make conversation.
"I slept okay for a few hours, woke up around 5 and couldn't go back to sleep so I went through my office and computer."
"What does it feel like? I mean… is it hard for things to be so different then they were before?"
She shifted in his seat a little, "I wouldn't categorize it as hard, more odd. I feel okay, I feel normal, and for the most part my surroundings haven't changed much. Except for the fact that I got the girl." He smiled. "Last thing I remember, Demming had swooped in and ruined everything. I remember being frustrated about it, but I also knew that if I couldn't have you romantically, at least I had you as a friend."
She nodded, taking another sip of her water, "and you were okay with that?"
"No, I'm not okay with it, or I wasn't, I was wounded, but I know that life goes on, and I know … or knew that you didn't really have feelings for him."
"Oh, you knew that did you?" She laughed.
"Yeah, I know you fairly well. The look in your eyes when he was around didn't touch the look you gave me. You were pushing me away, and I was fine with that because the harder you pushed, the more hope I had that one day you'd give up, give in to your feelings. If you had stopped pushing so hard, I would have been concerned, because that would have meant you didn't feel anything."
"You always knew?"
"I knew that you had a crush on me, and that you did everything in your power to avoid it, yes."
"This is so weird." She shook her head, turning to open the fridge again and pulled out the eggs and bacon. "Want breakfast?"
"Sure." He answered, "and what's weird."
"Talking to you about your perception of me back then. It's something we never really revisited."
"Really?" he seemed shocked that they had never talked about it.
"When we started seeing each other we kind of decided to let the past go and start new. So there were things that would get brought up here and there, but not ever about that."
"When I got back from the Hamptons did I come back to the precinct? Because I remember talking to Gina about how I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back."
"You came back, but not willingly," She laughed. "Ryan, Espo and I found you at a crime scene actually, and it all started up again."
"I'm sure once I saw you again I couldn't walk away."
"I was so mad at you, mad that you hadn't called…"
"I was mad at you for dating Demming."
"He was a good guy."
"I'm sure he was."
"Tom, is a great guy Rick… We even invited him to the wedding. He was happy for us when he found out we were together. He actually came by one day a little bit after I found out I was pregnant. He just wanted to check on me, brought food.." she could visibly see him turning green as she paused and widened her eyes at him.. "Wow, still jealous much? Let me rephrase, he and his wife came by to check on me."
"He.. He's married?" he stuttered out, a little embarrassed.
"Yes he is married, and Rick… you don't have anyone to be worried about. I just want to reiterate how much I love you and our life together. No one has ever made me as happy as you have, and no one could compete with what you have given me… freedom from my past, and a wonderful future to look forward to." She said as she ran her hand across her stomach. "You are the only man in the world for me, and we are going to have to work to get back to how things were but we have the rest of our lives to do that."
"I am still confused by how this happened, I mean… I couldn't even get you to be nice to me for a whole day. Now when I look at you I see a completely different woman, one that is in love and happy and…"
"Rick, you did that to me, for me. You made me into the happiest woman in the world. You and I had our ups and down like I said, but our love is one for the books. That's why I know that things will work out."
He nodded.
"Okay, I have a book signing this afternoon, which should only be a few hours and then I'll be home. Do you want time alone or you could invite the boys over or Alexis to keep you company."
"I'd actually love some time alone with Alexis, just to catch up on her life."
Kate smiled, "I'm sure she would love that."
Xx
Kate's cell rang from the dresser and she ran out of the bathroom to grab it.
"Gina, I'll be right down."
"We are already running late, Kate."
"I said i'll be right now. I'm walking out the door now." She said as she hung up the phone and walked to her closet to pull out a pair of heels.
"Whoa, no way you are wearing those while you carry my child." Rick said as he walked into the room to see her sitting on the side of the bed sliding them on her feet.
"I'll be fine, I'm not chasing down a suspect, it's a book signing."
"I know I cant boss you around, but Kate.. it's not safe."
Her eyes shot up to him and she could see the real concern in his eyes so she slid them off her feet and tossed them to the side, walking back into the closet and settling on a pair of plain black flats.
"Much better." He said as she walked out.
"I'm only doing this because I don't want to argue right now, and I have to go."
"Whatever, as long as you keep my son safe."
"or daughter." She smiled at him as she walked towards the door. "Oh and Rick… remember the rules, no leaving the apartment, and if you order food have them drop it off downstairs and they'll bring it up."
"I know, I know.." he smiled as he followed her to the front door."
"I'll be back by 7 or 8, depending on how fast this goes, I'll have my phone the whole time and Alexis should be here shortly."
"Kate, stop worrying, I know how to take care of myself."
She opened the door and turned one last time to face him, "I know you do, I have to talk for my own sanity. I don't want to leave you right now, and I don't like pretending that you're still gone, so.. take it easy on me, I'm just trying to help."
"I know you are, and I'm very thankful for everything you have done and continue to do." He leaned in placing a kiss on her cheek and she froze, closing her eyes. Her senses were all heightened by his closeness to her and she reached her arm out and pulled him in tight for a hug. When they separated she smiled and looked down at her feet.
"Sorry, I just missed you and having you close is a comfort."
"Hey," He reached up and pulled her chin up so that her eyes were on him again, "When you get home we are going to spend some time alone and watch a movie or do whatever you want. Just you and me, and then afterwards I'll run you a bath and you can relax.."
"Rick, you're the one that has been through so much, don't worry about me."
"Kate, you lost your fiancé on your wedding day, and then found out you were pregnant, and look I'm back, and I don't remember us being together. I just want you to feel some sense of normalcy, and it's not like its going to pain me to spend a little alone time with you." he chuckled, raising an eyebrow towards her.
"Okay, okay, but I have to go. See you later." She smiled and started down the hallway.
He closed the door behind her and immediately went to his office to sit at his desk. He hadn't told Kate but he found her book saved on his laptop last night and had been reading it. It was nice, to read her version of their love story, and helpful. He could tell how in love they were simply by the way she wrote about him. So he sat down and opened the document to continue reading. He didn't have much time before Alexis would be there so he wanted to get as much in as he could. Not knowing when he would be alone again for long enough to read more.
He heard the door open and Alexis call out for him. He checked the page he was on before closing out of the document. Alexis walked into the office and leaned against the bookcase.
"I should have known you'd be writing. Some things never change."
That drew a laugh from him and seeing him happy put a smile on her face as well.
"How are you doin Lex?"
"I'm good." She said as she crossed the room, taking a seat on the edge of his desk. "The real question is how are you doing?"
"Fine. I mean things are still a bit confusing but I'm working through them.. We are working through them."
"So you and Kate are getting along well?"
He nodded, "Yeah we are…. is there a reason we wouldn't be?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "No, I just know that it cant be easy for her to have you back, but not really have you back. I mean I know she is happy you're safe, but I know she misses the way things were."
"Were they that good between us? I mean not that I doubt what she has told me but I just can't imagine having a perfect relationship."
"It was pretty perfect. I mean yeah, you had your disagreements and there was arguing occasionally, but you two love each other… and you were disgustingly affectionate at times." The girl laughed, her eyes squinting as her smile turned up across her face.
"That bad?"
"After all she put you through before you were together I never thought I'd be able to accept her and love her as much as I do. She is the best thing that has ever happened to you. She makes you happy, and that makes me so happy."
"Don't be silly…" he grabbed her hand pulling her off the desk and towards him until she flopped down into his lap. "You, my dear daughter, are the best thing that has ever happened to me… and don't you ever forget it."
She flung her arms around his neck and squeezed tightly, "I'm so happy you are home safe and I know you don't remember what happened, and maybe that's for the best. I just want you to focus on living a normal life again, don't worry about the memories dad, they will come back. Or… if they don't, we will be here to create new ones with you."
"Promise?" She tilted his head towards her.
"I might be out of the house and living on my own but I am just around the corner. You'll always have me."
"Good girl." He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist to hug her.
"So are you cooking for me or are we ordering take out?"
"Kate said take out was our best option."
"Yeah she isn't very good at keeping the fridge stocked."
"I can only imagine." He rolled his eyes and shoved her from his lap.
She hopped to her feet and took off for the kitchen, "I'll order Chinese."
"Sounds good pumpkin."
She turned around as she hit the doorway and smiled, "You don't know how much I've missed that. Love you dad."
"Love you too."
YOU ALL, I AM HAVING THE WORST CASE OF WRITERS BLOCK. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I AM GOING TO TRY MY HARDEST TO WRITE THROUGH IT AND JUST KEEP GOING. HOPE YOU ALL ARE STILL THERE, AND IM GONNA TRY TO START POSTING MORE FREQUENTLY AGAIN, IN HOPES OF GETTING BACK INTO MY GROOVE.