AN: Thank you for your reviews and countless messages. I'm glad you're sticking to this one. Special thanks goes to criminalkeen for being a wonderful beta! I'm tackle hugging you in my mind right now.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Blacklist or any of the characters

Chp. 3

He had liked waking up to Belgium waffles in Brussels, but waking up in Lucerne, Switzerland three months later topped it all. He could feel warm fingers dancing over his chest and through the soft curls on it, followed by oh-so-lovely lips, which were gently kissing his skin. His hand found its way into her hair, tangling in the soft strands and gently massaging her scalp. He hummed when he felt her press a lingering kiss to the spot above his heart and slowly opened his eyes. "G'morning," he said, his voice raspy and full of sleep.

"Good morning," she replied, her breath hot against his skin and her hands moving restlessly over his body. He really liked where this was going. "I need to do some shopping today. And before you say it, I'm perfectly capable of going by myself."

"Mhm..." He used the gentle grip on her to pull her in for a kiss. "You sure you want to go alone?" She nodded. "What do you need to buy anyway?"

She sat back on her legs and he could see that she was wearing his shirt. It looked better on her anyway...

"Well, it's almost Christmas," she simply stated with a smile and his heart stopped for a moment.

"Lizzie..." He sighed. "I don't celebrate Christmas." As soon as the words had left his mouth, he saw her face fall, though she quickly tried to school her features. Of course she knew what had happened over twenty years ago, but she thought that now, after everything they'd been through, she could show him how wonderful Christmas could be. It was her first Christmas away from home, away from family and friends. It would be another Christmas without her dad, without celebrating at all, since Tom had disappeared the last time; she now knew why, and her dad had been the one to get the family together; it was also the first Christmas she would share with Red. Or not.

"Right..." Liz got up from the bed and headed towards the bathroom to change.

"Lizzie -"

"I understand," she interrupted. "It was stupid, I'm sorry." With that she pulled the door shut, leaving Red on the bed, not at all sure how to handle this. A short while later she walked out of the small room, dressed and with a little make-up on, with her head held too high and her shoulders pushed back too far. "I shouldn't be gone too long," she told him, without shooting him a glance.

"Sweetheart, come here," Red said and patted the mattress.

"I have my phone with me," she replied and left without another word.

THE BLACKLIST THE BLACKLIST THE BLACKLIST

Liz hadn't returned before late in the evening and if Red hadn't had seen her cell's GPS blink on the screen in front of him, he would had been worried. He wasn't keeping tabs on her. It was simply for security reasons.

He had found her on the balcony, overlooking Lucerne and its huge mountains. She was holding some kind of small notepad and seemed lost in thought. Red grabbed a blanket from one of the chairs and draped it over her shoulder, leaning in to kiss her cheek, leaving his hands on her shoulders. "How was your day?"

She shrugged. "Fine."

"Did you -"

"Raymond?" She interrupted. She only used his given name when she was turned on... or mad. She didn't seem very turned on right now.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I would like to be alone for a while."

His heart clenched at her words. She was hurting, but so was he. He would give her time, as much as she needed. He just hoped she wouldn't leave him. "Of course," he said in an almost whisper, before leaving her to her thoughts.

The next couple of days hadn't been much different and Red wondered if that was it for them. It was Christmas Eve and Liz had left the house that morning, when he found the little black notepad on her bedside table. She had been writing in that thing for a while now. Red pondered his options. He didn't want to disturb her privacy, but at last, curiosity got the best of him.

He opened the notepad and randomly skipped to one part.

'Daddy... I know you would frown at me for the choices I've made, but I don't regret them. I guess somehow it was my fate to end up here. There was actually not much else I could've done. The outcome would've been the same. At least I can say that I'm happy. I really am. It's tough sometimes. I miss work. So very much. Christmas without you is so pointless. I remember the cinnamon cookies we made every year, the smell of the Christmas tree with the gifts underneath. You would wrap them in golden paper with a red bow. I remember listening to Frank Sinatra's Christmas Carol coming from the stereo for hours. How we sat on the couch after dinner. We would always eat the same. I miss the Christmas ham with mashed potatoes and green beans you used to make. I had my last real Christmas with you. I miss you so much. I love you, Daddy.'

Red swallowed hard at her words. He could see that she had been crying while writing this. Some of the words at the end were smudged. His heart was hurting for her. He needed to do something.

THE BLACKLIST THE BLACKLIST THE BLACKLIST

Liz quickened her pace as she walked home. It was late already and the sun had set, leaving her walking around in the snow without any kind of warmth. She could barely feel her face anymore and wanted nothing more than to get inside their house. Their house... it really was theirs. She felt stupid for how she had treated Red lately. Of course he was still hurting and of course he wouldn't want to celebrate Christmas. She had gotten him something anyway, but would wait to give it to him on another day. First, she needed to make it up to him. Slipping under the covers and curling up around his warm body sounded like a perfect start.

She went into the house and stopped dead in her tracks. Liz would've thought that she had entered the wrong house if not for Red and Dembe sitting at the table, sipping their drinks while playing chess. Her favorite criminal turned to look at her. He was wearing one of her favorite 3-piece suits: the simple grey one, minus the matching fedora, of course.

He seemed anxious of her reaction. Liz took in the huge Christmas tree with a box of ornaments standing on the table next to it. There were neatly wrapped gifts underneath the tree. The paper was golden colored. The house was decorated with lights and glitter and there were little snowmen and Santas standing around. Frank Sinatra was singing "White Christmas" softly. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks and when she finally looked back at him, she could see unshed ones in his eyes as well.

A loud sob broke from her throat and she dropped the bags in her hand and hurried towards him. He stood immediately and stepped in her direction, his arms opening for her. She crashed into his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around him, tucking her face into the crook of his neck as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Ray." His name came out in a strained voice. "I'm so - so"

"Shh..." Red hugged her even closer and pressed a kiss to her head. "It's okay, sweetheart. It's alright."

After a couple of minutes she pulled her head back to look at him. There still were tears streaming down her cheeks and her make-up was all smudged, but she still managed to look beautiful. He cupped her cheek in his hand and used his thumb to brush away some of the wetness.

"Ray... I..."

Red leaned forward and kissed her softly before tucking some wild strand of her hair behind her ear. She caught his eyes again and they just looked at each other.

"I love you, Ray."