Summary: Even in domestic bliss, there remain battles to fight. Phaedra/Fenris family fluff, post-Kirkwall.
Disclaimer: In no way, shape, or form do any of the recognizably canon characters or places belong to Yours Truly.
Queen's Quornor: So now it's Malcolm's turn, and I think I'm going to take a slightly different path with him than I did with his older sisters. After all, if Leda is the serene child and Rai'eena the wild one, then where does that leave Malcolm? Somewhere smack in the middle, of course. I think it's time he gets in a bit of trouble with his parents, since he's only been the sweet little boy until now. But unlike most of the chapters in this fic, this one might have a follow-up. We'll see. Either way, this one marks a whole new phase in the life of our happily married duo.
History Repeats
Something was wrong.
Fenris frowned at the young couple sitting under the trees with their legs in the family's bathing pool. The pair looked inocuous enough, merely holding hands and quietly talking, but something about them set the elf's father sensing tingling. Malcolm was leaning a little too close to Aleihra, and her legs were angled in such as way as to suggest they were crossed at the ankles beneath the waterline. Both of her hands were wrapped around one of his and her face was downcast, hidden behind her rich mahogany hair. The couple radiated tension and unease, even from this distance.
Despite knowing that something was amiss, Fenris had to admire the picture they made. His son had grown into a tall, tanned young man who typically exuded a quiet confidence, physically an tattoo-less version of his father with a little more muscle on his frame. Malcolm had let his snowy hair grow long, and kept half of it gathered into a low ponytail atop a cascade of strands left free, interspersed with the occasional tiny braid. He had inherited the good looks of both his elven and human parents, resulting in an exotic combination that had kept the young maidens of the Dalish clans flocking around him for years. Malcolm had never minded the abundance of females competing for his attention, but his bright green eyes had been fixed on Aleihra for some time now. While he was sweet and kind towards all of his admirers, she was the one who received the full extent of his admiration.
Aleihra was as striking as her intended was handsome, which had played a small part in initially attracting him. Her waist-length hair was a deep shade of brown that shone scarlet where the light hit it, and her deep forest eyes glittered with the mischief expressed by her usual crooked smile. In contrast to Malcolm's height, she was a petite female with attitude to spare, much akin to Rai'eena in her personality. But unlike Malcolm's sister, Aleihra had a far more even temper and the patience to work through her problems rather than fly into a fury.
Today, however, the petite female was unusually quiet. In all the time he had known her, Fenris had never known her to be shy. She was always bright and talkative, unafraid of expressing her feelings. Malcolm, too, seemed very subdued. Moreso than usual, anyway.
"Are you certain you can't cast some spell so we can hear what they're saying?" he asked again, keeping his gaze on the young couple.
A wet cloth slapped against the side of his head, tumbled onto his shoulder, and began dripping down his arm. "I already told you: I refused to eavesdrop on our children and their partners. It didn't happen for the twins, and it won't happen for Malcolm. Just give it up, Fenris."
He removed the dishcloth from his shoulder and turned to face his wife, secretly amused that she had thrown it at him in the first place. Phaedra's hands were encased in white suds, but she stood with them planted firmly on her hips, frowning at him. "Aren't you bothered by the fact that they're being so secretive? Aleihra has never acted shy towards us before."
"They'll tell us when they feel we deserve to know, whatever's going on." Phaedra left the basin and dishes to stand before her husband, reaching for the rag. "Malcolm has never been one to keep secrets from us. If anything, we know more about his personal life than we do our daughters'. I mean, neither of us had any idea before Rai'eena ran off, did we?"
Fenris had to admit that she was correct. Malcolm, much like Leda, had kept few things from his parents over the years. He was quiet, but honest.
"You don't think they're planning to run away too, do you?" he found himself asking.
The mage shook her head. "I doubt it. Malcolm has always loved living in the forest, and he has said that he wants to spend his life here. He doesn't want to travel with the Dalish like Leda, and he's not adventurous enough to leave, especially without telling us. He's not like Rai'eena." A heavy sigh escaped her, fanning the wisps of snowy hair that had escaped their tie. "We should be grateful for that. I don't think I could handle another child vanishing without warning."
Fenris nodded in agreement, feeling the familiar ache in his chest. Shortly after Leda had married Talian and joined his clan, Rai'eena had disappeared. The family and a few of the Dalish hunters had searched for her to no avail. They had known how frustrated the scarlet-haired twin was with living beneath the trees, but none of them had thought she would run away without saying a word to any of them. Phaedra was of the belief that Leda's marriage and her subsequent plans to leave had been the final straw; Rai'eena had felt trapped because she had not been accepted into the clan with her sister, and she had long viewed the wild elves as her only possibility for escape. With their refusal, she had fled the cage she envisioned her life to be.
As fugitives, Fenris and Phaedra had been unable to continue the search for their youngest daughter when the trail led beyond the forest towards Denerim. Leda, Talian, and the rest of the clan had promised to look for her during their travels, but the most adamant oath had come from Rai'eena's intended. Nalamir had been unwilling to leave the clan due to his position as an ironbark shaper, and after she was refused a place among them he had backed off a little from their relationship. Before the elves left, he had confessed to Phaedra that he had decided to leave the clan and start a family with her, but he had not had a chance to tell her before she vanished.
"At least we know somebody will keep searching for her. Nalamir loves her enough to leave his clan behind to be with her. When he does find her, I'm certain he will send us word somehow." Phaedra tugged at the rag, but Fenris pulled back with a little smile, refusing to let her have it.
"I realize that. I trust Nalamir's devotion to our daughter. But I'm more concerned by Malcolm and Aleihra." The elf pulled his wife in and spun her around, wrapping her in his arms and pressing his lips to her hair. "What if he is planning to leave?"
"Then we'll have the house all to ourselves again." Phaedra relaxed against him with a pleased sigh. "Our children have to make their own way, love. We can't force them to stay, if they decide they want to leave. After all, we're the only ones who must remain hidden. Nobody outside the Dalish and Anders realize we have children, and so they cannot be used to find us. They are free where we are not."
"That is not what worries me. I'm more concerned by the idea that they may never return, since we kept them here for so long. Malcolm is the only one I thought would never leave the forest, and it's starting to look like he might depart as well."
"I doubt it. Aleihra is not all that fond of her clan-mates, remember? If anything, she would be eager to leave them and start her own life." The mage shifted a little, fitting herself more closely against her husband's body. "She is also quite possessive of our son, since all the girls in her clan are always fawning over him. Ever since he chose her, she has been scaring them all off."
"So half of her clan would be happy to see her depart. Actually, I am certain the other half would not mind it either; Malcolm attacts all of the girls' attention every time they return to the forest, and few of the boys are pleased with the effect he has on them." Fenris gently kissed Phaedra's head, then chinned himself atop her. His jade eyes continued their scrutiny of the young couple. "Still, she is a skilled hunter. Her contributions to the clan would be missed."
Outside, Aleihra turned and threw her arms around Malcolm, hiding her face against his chest. The half-elf held her close and said something, although the distance was too great for his parents to catch it. After a few seconds, they stood up and began walking in the direction of the house, their hands clasped tight together.
"Our patience has paid off, it seems." Phaedra took the opportunity to duck out of Fenris' embrace and snatch the dishrag back, sashaying back to the dishes. "Go sit down. You're less intimidating that way, love."
"I'm happy to know that you think I unnerve our son and his intended," the elf retorted in a dry tone. He smirked as he went to his usual chair near the fireplace; later, he would have to show his beloved mage just how intimidating he could be. She always melted when he turned aggressive in bed.
The front door squeaked open and a minute later, the couple appeared in the kitchen doorway. Malcolm silently led Aleihra to a chair and pulled it out for her, then claimed the seat beside her once she had settled. Phaedra wiped her hands on a dry rag and joined Fenris at the table, facing the younger pair.
"Mother, Father, we have something we need to tell you," Malcolm began. "It's not going to be easy for you to hear, but please, listen to us."
"We never meant for this to happen. The last thing I wanted was to do anything that would hurt you," Aleihra whispered, squeezing her hands together. She refused to lift her head to face them, hiding part of her face behind her hair.
The older couple exchanged looks, and Fenris felt dread pool in the pit of his stomach. "What has happened?"
Aleihra opened her mouth, then snapped it shut, biting her lip and looking at the table. Malcolm scooted his chair closer, wrapping his arm around her thin shoulders. He took a deep breath and lifted his head, facing his parents with an unwavering gaze. "Aleihra's pregnant. With my child."
"We didn't mean for this to happen," the Dalish hastened to add. "I took every precaution I could think of, and it seemed like a safe time when my clan returned."
There is no completely safe time, and no true precaution, Fenris thought, feeling unease roiling in his gut. He decided to keep the comment to himself, seeing how scared Aleihra looked. She didn't need any more guilt.
Phaedra folded her arms on the table and leaned forward, her bright green eyes serious. "Does anybody in your clan know yet?"
The huntress shook her head, sending her mahogany hair swishing about her shoulders. "I've only told Malcolm. He's the one who wanted to tell you. I...don't know how I'm going to tell my family, let alone my clan."
"Are you worried that they will disown you?" Fenris inquired.
Aleihra nodded. "Keeper Rialmi's daughter, Lehalta, became involved with a human woodsman when I was five. She became pregnant by him, and the Keeper threw her out of the clan. She's never had a particularly friendly view of humans or half-breeds, you know." She leaned against Malcolm and he squeezed her shoulder in wordless comfort. "Everyone was shocked when she allowed us to interact with you, and I know she isn't particularly thrilled that I'm seeing Malcolm. If she were to find out that I'm carrying a child with human blood..."
Phaedra cocked her head to the side. "I thought you wanted to leave your clan, Aleihra. Why should it matter what they think about your pregnancy?"
"I wanted to leave with their blessing, not be thrown out like refuse. If I am exiled, then I no longer exist as a Dalish. I want my children to have access to their heritage as carriers of the clan's blood, and if the Keeper denies me, then she is denying them as well."
That made sense. Fenris remembered Merrill's final departure from her clan, how dejected and hurt she was when the elves she had known all her life turned their backs and no longer acknowledged her existence. A blood mage such as her had deserved such a punishment, in light of Marethari's death. But Aleihra's pregnancy had only resulted from an act of love, not some selfish pursuit of power or knowledge. This was not something to be punished.
"You must tell them. They are your family, and if you were to suddenly vanish without explanation, they would search for you." Fenris leaned forward and fixed his gaze on the younger elf, capturing her forest-green eyes with his own. "But if the Keeper decides you are no longer worthy of the clan, it does not mean that you are on your own. You are welcome to remain with here, with us, if such comes to pass."
Malcolm's eyes widened. "Really, Father? You would allow us to stay here in the house?"
Phaedra was already nodding. "Why you would think otherwise? You are our son, and we happen to like Aleihra. We're not going to throw you out on your asses and say that you are no child of ours, or some such nonsense."
The Dalish looked at the two of them, then bowed her head with a smile as tears began to gather in her eyes. "Thank you. I was so afraid that..."
Malcolm put his arms around her and hugged her close. "I told you had nothing to fear, love. My parents aren't like the Keeper; they wouldn't abandon us."
"There is one thing that puzzles me," Phaedra spoke up. "Knowing that your father and I weren't going to turn you away, why were you surprised that we would open the house to you?" Fenris nodded at her query, leaning back in his chair.
Malcolm flushed a faint pink and flashed his parents a timid smile. "I thought that you would want us to build our own home, separate from this one. I know that you two have been looking forward to having the house to yourself, and I didn't think you would want another baby in here."
Fenris snorted a quick laugh. "Son, do you know how long it took for the Dalish and me to construct this house?" Malcolm shook his head. "We first arrived in the forest a month after we realized we were expecting children. Your mother gave birth to your sisters not three days after the final nail was driven. We hadn't even finished constructing the furniture when her water broke."
"I gave birth in one of the clan's aravels, not this house," Phaedra added. "The twins and I spent a week in Keeper Dialmiara's aravel while your father and the others put everything together. Enthrain took over most of her duties in the clan until the house was complete, because the Keeper was preoccupied with helping me care for your sisters." She laughed softly. "Dialmiara used to joke about how unprecedented it was for two humans to set foot in a Dalish aravel. But I think she took a shine to Anders before he left. She spent more time chatting with him than helping to care for me and the twins."
"Even if your clan agreed to help, there is little chance we would have a second dwelling finished built by the time your child arrived," the older elf explained, taking back control of the conversation. "It would be best if you remained in this house, and if necessary we will make additions to it. But first," he added, looking into his son's eyes, " the two of you must tell the clan that you are pregnant. Once your family and Keeper Rialmi have reached a decision, then we can make plans."
Malcolm nodded and rose to his feet, helping Aleihra to hers. "I think we should do that right now. Your clan will be here a few months longer, but there is no sense in dragging this out, love."
The Dalish bit her lip. "I know. The clan has come to see me as the rebel, and they are rarely surprised when I do something unexpected. But this will cause a stir, and I don't want my parents to suffer."
Phaedra got up and came around the table, taking the younger female's hands in hers with a reassuring squeeze. "Whatever they suffer will only consist of disappointment at the circumstances. They could not possibly be upset that you have found somebody to love, nor that such love has resulted in a new life. Their disappointment will arise from knowing that you will now leave that much sooner and it will be a long time before they will see you again. No parent could ever truly be upset with a child who has found happiness."
"Do you truly believe that?" Aleihra asked, her voice uncharacteristically timid.
"I know it to be true. All parents only want their child to find somebody they love and who loves them in return. Even if they do not show it, they will be happy for you in their hearts." The former Champion reached out and hugged the Dalish, a quick squeeze to welcome her into the family. "I'm sure they will want to discuss your plans with us. Feel free to bring them whenever you feel is best."
"We will definitely do that." Malcolm gave his mother a warm smile, then placed his hand at the small of Aleihra's back and guided her towards the door. "See you later, Mother, Father."
Fenris nodded and Phaedra waved, holding their smiles until the young couple was out of the house and vanishing into the forest. Once alone, the older pair collapsed back into their chairs and let out simultaneous, heart-felt sighs.
"I never would have thought Malcolm would have this happen," Phaedra groaned, staring up at the ceiling. "I was so careful to teach him about contraceptive herbs when he was old enough. I thought he was paying attention!"
"Perhaps the herbs simply didn't work? Or did Aleihra forget to take them?" Fenris wondered, running his hand through his hair. "I doubt she neglected them on purpose, considering how frightened she was to tell us."
"She's not selfish enough to pull something like that." The mage leaned forward on her elbows, resting her head in her hands. "Some parents we are, huh? One child married and traveling, one soon to be a father, and one who could be Maker-knows-where doing Maker-knows-what. Did we do something wrong, Fenris? Did we forget to tell our children something when they were little?"
The elf mirrored his wife, leaning forward and taking one of her hands in his. "These things happen, Phaedra. You and I know that better than anyone else. Sometimes you can take every precaution, and things still manage to go in a direction you never anticipated."
"I realize that. But I can't help thinking that maybe there was some clue, something we should have noticed to prevent all this." She worried at her lip, not meeting his eyes. "Not in Leda's case, since she's clearly found her path in life and is happy. But for Malcolm? I doubt he wanted to start a family this young, regardless of how much he loves Aleihra. Then there's Rai'eena. Clearly we missed several cues in her case, or she'd still be with us."
"Rai'eena was always planning to leave us. Short of tying her to a tree, I doubt there was any way we could have prevented her departure. As for Malcolm, I can hazard a guess as to how this happened." He stroked his thumb across the back of her hand gently, eliciting a small shiver from his wife. "They were looking forward to seeing each other, and when Aleihra's clan returned, they were so excited to be together again that prevention slipped their minds. It's not so dissimilar from what happened to us when we were younger."
"Rationally I know that, but my heart keeps thinking maybe it's my fault she's pregnant. Malcolm has always been so responsible; I can scarcely wrap my head around the idea that he was careless, especially in this matter." The white-haired mage sighed and squeezed his hand, offering him a wan smile. "Still, I have to admit that it will be nice to have a baby in the house again. Remember how much you enjoyed holding them, love?"
"If memory serves, you held them just as often as I did," Fenris teased. "You would tell me I needed to let them be, and then I would turn around and there would be a baby in your arms, with you nuzzling their heads."
"That was one nice thing about having twins. There was one for both of us to hold." Phaedra's smile widened. "I doubt it will happen, but can you imagine Malcolm having twins as well?"
"The mind shudders to think it. But the chances seem fairly low. Were there any twins in your family prior to Leda and Rai'eena?" the elf asked. He had never recovered his entire memory, but he could not recall ever seeing a pair of twins before becoming a father. Wondering whether there had been any in his family tree just stirred feelings of the idea being incorrect, so it was unlikely he had any older twins related to him.
Phaedra shook her head with a swish of her hair. "Not that I know of. The Amells were known for magic, not multiple births. As for the Hawke side, I have no idea. All I know of Father's family history is that magic was not uncommon in the line, and my paternal grandmother had my eyes. If there were any other twins born with the surname Hawke, they must have come along after the templars took my father to Kinloch Hold." She sighed and sat back in her chair, regarding her husband with serious green eyes. "If it turns out that Aleihra is carrying twins, how much help should we give them? Those will be their children, but I remember how difficult it was to deal with two infants. I wouldn't wish that ordeal on any new mother."
"I suppose they will be grateful for any help we offer, so long as the children understand that we are merely their grandparents. I doubt Aleihra would be entirely happy if her sons or daughters mistook us for their mother and father."
"Whereas Malcolm would probably find the situation amusing," his wife added, a grin spreading her lips wide. "He will be the parent to spoil them, you know."
Fenris laughed and nodded. "If he takes after his father, then that it beyond doubt."
"You've never been able to deny those children anything. Do you remember when you brought home those baby rabbits for the children to raise?" she asked, her voice filled with a conspirator's mischief as she leaned forward.
That had been a fiasco and a half, Fenris recalled. Rai'eena had been begging for a pet for weeks, after Phaedra's mabari, Atlas, had finally died. Getting a mabari pup had been impossible, but Fenris had tripped over a rabbit burrow while he was checking his snares one day and realized that there were five tiny bunnies inside. Their mother had already gotten caught in one of his traps, so a combined sense of guilt and fatherly love had prompted him to collect the babies in a sack and bring them home for his children to raise. The girls had adored the rabbits, but they constantly forgot to lock the door on the hutch Fenris made for them. As a result, there had been many occasions when the entire family had been reduced to crawling around the house on all fours, searching beneath furniture for the fuzzy creatures. Two of the bunnies had been snatched by assorted animals before the family could find them outside, one had wandered away, another had gotten caught in the walls and died, and Leda's pet fox, Kitsa, had accidentally killed the last one during a bit of playful roughhousing.
"I never would have thought that such a small animal could cause a smell that horrible," his wife continued. "Remember how it took three days for us to figure out where that one rabbit died?"
"That was not as bad as the time Malcolm caught us in bed. He thought I was hurting you, if you recall."
"I thought it was sweet how he jumped on the bed and started trying to push you over the side. I mean, it was annoying at the time, but the fact that he wanted to protect his mother was nice." She stood up and went back to the sink, plunging her hands back into the water to retrieve a plate. Fenris came to stand beside her, reaching for the drying rag and one of the clean bowls.
"He might not have bothered us if somebody had kept her voice down," he said archly, hiding his smirk.
"Somebody might have been able to keep her voice down if somebody else had stopped teasing her a little earlier than he did," she retorted. She scrubbed at the plate for a minute, then sighed and handed Fenris the dish. As he wiped the water away, she turned and leaned against the sink, crossing her arms with a sigh. "Do you really think any of us is ready for this, love? For them to have a baby?"
He put the plate down and moved in front of her, noting the worried creases around her mouth and between her brows. Phaedra seemed much older than she had a few minutes ago, worn by the memories of her own difficulties in raising three children and keeping them all hidden from the world at large. He took her hands in his and gave them a reassuring squeeze. "I think nobody is ever truly ready for their first child, let alone their first grandchild. But I also think that our son and his lover will have an easier time adjusting than you and I did, because we will be there to help them. As for us, they will set the boundaries of how much parenting we are allowed to do. It's not going to be as bad as you fear."
"I know that. I think..." She frowned and took a deep breath. "I think what's truly bothering me is that this reminds me of my mother. I never got the chance to tell her I was pregnant the first time, since I didn't realize it myself. Did you know she was aware of the attraction between the two of us?"
That surprised Fenris. Except for their first night together, he had never expressed his love for the human mage in any manner discernable to the people around them. With the exception of their companions, of course. "How did she figure it out?"
Phaedra grinned. "She apparently noticed that the two of us were looking at each other in a certain manner. We got into a discussion over whether she should start searching for someone to marry, and Mother told me that she wanted me to have the space I needed to spend time with you, should I choose to. Keep in mind, this was weeks before that night."
"I suppose I was even less subtle than I realized, if she noticed," he sighed. "I received lectures from all of our friends, if you will recall. Varric took me aside and asked me if I was serious about you, Aveline thought I should be 'earnest and forthright' in my pursuit of your affections, and Isabela tried to give me advice on how I should treat you in bed. She claimed she knew a method that would have you plastered to the sheets for the next three days, begging me for more."
"I don't think you needed that advice; you do extremely well on your own. But I must say, my favorite was Merrill and her observation of your puppy eyes," Phaedra laughed.
The elf hid his smile. "There were not, and never have been, any puppy eyes," he asserted.
"Oh, but there were. I spotted you wearing them once, while we were at the Hanged Man with those guards we saved from the bandits. I was playing Wicked Grace with Isabela and those handsome twin guardsmen, and I happened to glance over at you between hands." She leaned forward and pecked his lips, smiling as she drew away. "You were adorable with those eyes."
"Do you still think me adorable now?" he asked, pitching his voice low and wrapping his arms around her.
She rested her head against his chest and hugged him loosely. "Not exactly. I have always thought you the most handsome man in Thedas. You are merely adorable when you use your puppy eyes on me." She squeezed him lightly, then looked up at him, a playful grin playing about her lips. "I also think that our children learned their puppy eyes from their father, since I never used such a thing."
"I would beg to differ. You used them on me whenever we were interrupted, or when I had to leave you after waking you up in the mornings."
"Your eyes would get all mournful and shiny when I tried to make you tend the children late at night," she returned.
"You were wearing the same expression." He would not share with her the first occasion he had seen her with such eyes. Phaedra had never worn puppy eyes until he told her he could not handle a relationship with her, and the longing in her glistening green orbs had nearly broken him. Those eyes had haunted him for weeks afterwards, and since they had confirmed their love it had become her strongest weapon against him. He simply could not handle seeing those eyes, not when he had first beheld them in pain.
The white-haired mage laughed and ducked out of his embrace, pacing to the window and gazing at the forest where their son and his lover had vanished. Her expression turned somber, slightly mournful. "I wish she could see us. I know Mother would be so happy to see us together, to know that she got those grandchildren she wanted."
"Then don't we owe it to her memory to be good grandparents, to watch after our son and his family?" Fenris asked, going to her side. She glanced up at him and nodded, reaching down to lace their fingers tightly together.
"You're right, as usual. Of course we will." Phaedra sighed, seeing movement between the trees. "I suppose Aleihra's parents decided to discuss this with us sooner than we expected."
"I wonder what they are thinking," the warrior murmured. "The clan always had high hopes for her, so it must come as a shock that she is pregnant by a half-breed."
"We're about to find out." His wife spun away from the window and went to the cupboard, pulling out a platter of cookies she had made the previous day. "This will be a joy."
"Indeed," Fenris replied, watching the quartet's approach.