Summary: Even in domestic bliss, there remain battles to fight. Phaedra/Fenris family fluff, post-Kirkwall.
Disclaimer: In no way, shape, or form do any of the recognizably canon characters or places belong to Yours Truly.
Queen's Quornor: Since it's Rai'eena's turn, I figured I'd try something a little different for this chapter. Because she ran away between the last two chapters, it doesn't make too much sense to go straight into a fluffy anecdote regarding her childhood. So, why not see how she's been doing since vanishing from her family's lives?
Sidestory: Rai'eena
"Venhidis!"
She spat the curse without thought, the word hissing into the wind as she ducked her head to avoid the sudden downpour of chilly rain. She was instantly soaked to the bone, her cloak and hood doing little to protect her from the sky's wrath. The warrior gripped the dark grey fabric and folded her arms, concentrating on the worn path beneath her feet. If memory served, there was supposed to be an inn further down the road. She still had coin left from her last job; she could afford a room for the night, and perhaps some dinner as well.
Rai'eena shivered in the icy wind. The clouds had been threatening to spill all day, a gloomy grey presence brooding overhead. It just figured that the storm would begin when she was less than a mile from shelter.
The Maker seemed to have it out for her. Ever since she left home, everything had gone wrong. As a mercenary she made decent coin, but because she had little reputation as of yet, she didn't command the same prices as the more famous individuals and companies. Her lack of fame also precluded her from joining any of the groups she had applied to, and she had learned very quickly that dropping her mother's name often resulted in pure hostility from her peers. So she was left scanning the bottoms of the message boards, chasing bounties and hunting monsters whenever the opportunity allowed. Usually, she could only claim the lowliest jobs.
Aside from the lack of good work, Rai'eena also had to contend with the fact that she was a lone woman, and nobody seemed willing to watch her back. With her tiny purse, she was often stuck in the roughest crowds. Most of the men were aggressive in their advances, and few of the older, more experienced women were willing to stick their necks out for her. She had been forced to learn how to dissuade unwanted suitors fast; her first encounter had resulted in one man bleeding on a tavern floor in Denerim while she beat a hasty retreat from a howling, brawling crowd.
Alone and broke. Somehow, she had always envisioned mercenary work would be more glamorous than this.
Rai'eena sniffed and wiped at her nose, burrowing deeper into her sodden cloak. She blamed her parents. All those years of stories about their adventures had built her hopes up, given her an unrealistic idea of what this life was like. If they had taken the time to tell her about the seedier side of being a mercenary, maybe she would never have left in the first place. If she hadn't known anything about the world beyond the forest, then she might have been content to stay there for the rest of her life, just like Leda and Malcolm. This was all her mother and father's fault. Yes, definitely their fault.
The wind shifted, blowing the icy spray directly into her face. "Venhidis!" the young woman hissed again, turning her head to the side. This had to be the most miserable weather she had experienced over the past two years. Why couldn't she have her mother's luck? Phaedra Hawke had always seemed to get the best jobs, make connections with all the right people, and earn the respect of her peers without effort. All that, and she had kept her identity as an apostate secret for nearly a decade in Kirkwall! Why couldn't she, Rai'eena, the daughter of Phaedra, have inherited that kind of luck? All her life, it was as though her sister had been the lucky one, and she always got the short end of the stick. Maybe if she hadn't been born a twin, she would have inherited her share of their mother's fantastic luck.
Instead, here she was, freezing her arse off while her sister was enjoying a perfect marriage with the man that should have been hers.
She laughed bitterly and wiped at her eyes, ignoring the hot droplets mingling with the cold rain.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The inn was as rough a place as any she had seen, but anything was better than the road tonight. Rai'eena finished wringing out her cloak at the door and pulled back her hood, shaking out her long scarlet hair. There were only a few patrons in the taproom, a nice change from the crowded taverns she was more familiar with. The bartender looked up as she approached the counter and flung his stained rag over his shoulder.
"Lookin' for a room?" he grunted.
"And a good, stiff drink," she affirmed. "How much?"
He named a price and Rai'eena grimaced. She would only have two silvers left, but what choice did she have? She begrudgingly counted out the payment and looked around while his enormous paw swiped the coins into a battered metal box, sliding a dull grey key in her direction. Aside from herself, there were only four other people here. A middle-aged couple huddled together around one table, talking quietly and leaning in together over half-empty pints. Their weapons, a longsword and a large warhammer, hung low on their belts, the tips resting gently against the floor. A squat little toad of a dwarf held court at the end of the bar, surrounded by empty tankards and small puddles of beer. His bushy brown beard was slick with foam, and his dark eyes squinted suspiciously at her from beneath his thick brows. Rai'eena bit her lip and took the pint offered by the bartender, heading for the crackling fireplace and the empty table before it.
She settled herself into the splintering chair nearest the fire, undoing the pin that kept her cloak fastened about her neck and dropping it across the back of the seat. The warrior maiden reached up and brushed her fingers through her hair, coaxing a few more stubborn droplets of rain from the crimson locks as she took a drink of her beer.
"Weather's turned for the worse, I see."
Rai'eena jumped slightly, her free hand reflexively going to the sword at her belt. Her bright green eyes wandered over the inn's occupants and settled on the slender figure occupying the table nearest the corner, wedged into the corner and straddling the chair with his arms crossed atop the back. The man's hood was pulled low over his face, hiding all but the narrow point of a chin and curved lips within shadow. The maiden cocked her head slightly; the accented voice was low and gravely, but it sounded familiar. Perhaps a mercenary she had met sometime before?
"It's nasty out there," she affirmed. "Not fair for man or beast tonight."
"Indeed." The mysterious man unhooked his ankles from behind the chair legs, allowing Rai'eena to see his feet, bare but for the loop of fabric looping around the soles. She frowned slightly; only Dalish went about barefoot, and she couldn't recall ever running into any during her travels. Perhaps he was simply making idle conversation? "Nor for elves, dwarves... Not even half-bloods."
She stiffened, resisting the urge to reach up and pull her hair over the delicate points of her ears. She had long since learned that half-elves were often the targets of vicious slander, due to the sheer rarity of her kind. "If you wish to pass comment on my parents, save your breath. I've heard it all before."
"That was not my intent." The Dalish inclined his head towards the chair opposite him. "Won't you join me? I'll buy you a drink and some dinner."
She wanted to shoot him down, but a painful rumble in her stomach reminded her that she had not eaten anything save traveler's biscuits in days, and precious few at that. "If you're expecting anything in return for your generosity, don't get your hopes up," she warned, taking her cloak and tankard and swiftly crossing to his table.
"I wouldn't presume," he explained. "I only want some company, and nobody here wishes to spend time with a Dalish. You seem as lonesome as I, so I ask only for your conversation, nothing more."
Rai'eena stood beside the empty chair for a moment, sizing him up, then lowered herself into the seat. "It has been awhile since I've spent time with somebody else, let alone a Dalish. I haven't seen any of your people since I left home."
"You spent time with the clans?" he asked, cocking his head to the side a bit. The light from the fire reached a bit further into the hood, but revealed little of his face. She only caught the barest edge of his delicate tattoos, the tiniest curling point.
"I grew up in a place where the clans often made camp. My only friends as a child were Dalish." Rai'eena watched as her new companion waved to the bartender, signaling for a bowl of stew and a hunk of bread. "I even stayed with the clans a few times, when my parents would allow me to spend the night."
"Didn't you have any siblings to serve as playmates?"
"A twin sister and a little brother. But I preferred the clans," she admitted. "I didn't want to stay in the forest forever, so I figured I could hitch a ride with them one day and get out of there."
He studied her, then leaned forward as the bartender brought her meal to the table. "But it did not work out that way, did it? You were unable to join one of the clans."
The mercenary nodded and lowered her head, focusing on her bowl. "My sister married into one, and I thought I could join alongside her. But they turned me down because they said I - "
"Didn't bring any worthwhile skills to the clan," he cut in suddenly.
Rai'eena dropped her spoon into the bowl, staring at the Dalish with rounded eyes. "How did you know that?"
He snorted. " It's they only way they would ever allow a stranger to join the group. If you cannot benefit all of the elves, then there is very little chance they would allow you into their midst. I've seen it happen before."
She looked at him, unsure, then picked up the spoon again. "My sister is a healer, and that clan's keeper did not have much skill with treating wounds and illness. So they let her in. But my skills revolve around swordplay. I'm not even a good hunter; the only way I can catch an animal is with a snare." Rai'eena brought the spoon to her mouth and closed her lips around it, closing her eyes as the thick, meaty broth and softened vegetables slid down her throat. "This is delicious," she murmured, reaching for the bread.
"So what happened after you were rejected?" her companion coaxed.
Rai'eena sighed and stirred the bread in the bowl. "I ran away. Just...couldn't take it anymore, I suppose."
"Why did you think that was the best solution? Surely there was somebody who would miss you?"
She shook her head. "I doubt it. My parents maybe, but I hardly cared at the time. My sister was getting the life I had always dreamed of, and I was stuck in the woods. The idea of staying there for the rest of my life just..." Her voice trailed off and she lifted the broth-soaked bread, biting into it so she didn't have to finish the sentence.
"Wasn't there anyone in the clan who would miss you?" he asked, tracing his fingers up and down the side of his tankard. "Friends, perhaps? A lover?"
"None of my Dalish friends stood up for me when I asked to join, so why would it matter if they miss me or not?" she explained bitterly. "There was a male I was seeing, but he never said a word to promote me. It seems that our relationship was just a fling for him, that I was only worth a quick roll in the grass and nothing more." She rubbed at her eyes, hating the tears gathering at the corners. It shouldn't matter to her that Nalamir had rejected her. She had never loved him. Talian was the only male she had ever loved, and he was married to Leda. The mantra looped in her head as she fought back the urge to cry. "I had thought him different from the other elves, but he was just as interested in Dalish purity as all the others. I didn't mean a damned thing to him."
"Could it be that he had other obligations which prevented him from speaking in your favor?" The Dalish ignored her tears, merely leaning forward so his entire face was hidden inside the hood. He folded his hands and rested them against his mouth as he awaited her reply.
Rai'eena shook her head furiously, sending her crimson hair whipping around her face and shoulders. "He was training to be an ironbark shaper, and he led me to believe that I was more important. I was a fool to have believed him in the first place, but I couldn't help it. I had thought he cared for me. Obviously his apprenticeship was more important than I was."
"Did you love him?" came his voice, softer than before as it whispered from the depths of the hood.
"Never."
He raised his head slightly, allowing her to see his mouth. "Are you certain about that?"
The mercenary sighed, chewing her bread. "All right, I did care about him, a lot. He meant a great deal to me. But when he chose his clan over me, after the time we had spent together..." She rubbed at her eyes again and looked at her companion, her expression pleading. "It may sound cliche to describe it as a knife to my heart, but that is how it felt. Like he had taken a dagger and stabbed me through the chest."
The Dalish nodded slightly. the hood barely shifting. "I know exactly how you felt. I had a woman I loved, with all my heart. But she left me without saying a word. When she did, it tore me apart. It was the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life," he told her, lifting his tankard for a healthy swallow.
"Do you hate her for leaving?" Rai'eena asked, stirring her stew in the bowl.
"I never hated her," he murmured, his voice low and hoarse. He lowered the tankard and bowed his head, staring into the clay mouth. "I was hurt, more than I would have ever imagined, but I understood why she left. Her expectations were not being met, and she could not wait any longer. My mistake was in failing to tell her my plans; if she had known, then perhaps she would still be with me."
"What were your plans?" she asked, scooping another spoonful of broth into her mouth.
He lifted his thin shoulders in a shrug. "I wanted to leave the clan with her, create a life together with other Dalish who were not satisfied in their current positions. I could have supported us with my craft. I had it all planned, but I wanted to surprise her. I suppose I underestimated how unhappy she was. As a result, I lost her."
The warrior chewed another bite of bread, mulling over what he had told her. She had pulled a runner just like the woman in his story, but she was a romantic at heart. Unlike Nalamir, he actually cared about his lover. He had their life together completely planned, which was far more than she could have ever hoped with her former flame. "You should try to find her," she advised. "It sounds like she was a fool to have left you. If you would just talk to her, I'm sure she would change her mind."
He inclined his head in the slightest of nods. "From talking to you, I cannot help but believe such might be the case."
"Then go after her! Life is short; it's not worth pining over somebody you loved and lost!" She flashed him her most encouraging smile and raised her spoon to her mouth, closing her lips around the last bit of carrots and celery.
"I'm glad you agree...Rai'eena."
Startled, her throat shut around the vegetables and she coughed violently, hacking the offending food back into the bowl. Once she could safely breathe again, the warrior woman stared at the Dalish with owlish eyes. "How did you know my name?" she gasped.
He leaned forward and tugged his hood back slowly. She watched with baited breath as the thick wool slid away, revealing his tattooed flesh by increments. The dark swirls meandered up his cheekbones, joining into nearly-black pools that encircled his deep green eyes. As he jerked the fabric free of his forehead, his black hair fell forward to frame his thin face, a face she had never thought to see again.
Rai'eena swallowed hard, trying to will her heart back into her chest. She licked at suddenly dry lips, and attempted his name. "Nalamir?"
One slow nod, his eyes regarding her with guarded coolness. "It has been some time."
"What are you doing here?" She folded her arms, surpressing the urge to hug herself. "Are you here because of my parents?"
"They did not send me. Nor did your sister."
The mercenary bit her lip. "Then why are you here?"
"Why do you think?" he retorted, staring into her eyes. Rai'eena found herself unable to look away, and suddenly memories spilled from the depths of her mind. Memories of the cool forest air, the sunlight streaming through the leaves. Of a warm hand clasping around her fingers, the gentle tug as he led her between the trees, the rustle of leaves as he laid her down. Of the unexpected strength in his sinewy arms as he wrapped them around her, the heat of his skin against hers. The tenderness in his eyes above her, the gentle press of his lips. The soft, hoarse Elvish whispered into her ear as he entwined himself with her, his face hidden by the warm light of the sun. She had to close her eyes and breathe deeply before she could reply.
"Why did you follow me?"
Nalamir shook his head. "I didn't follow you, Rai'eena. I've been searching for you ever since you ran away."
"Why did you do that?"
"I already told you."
She scowled at him and crossed her arms, leaning back in her seat. "You're lying. When I tried to join the clan, you didn't stand up for me. You didn't say anything. You just sat there and let Keeper Enthrain reject me, while welcoming my sister with open arms. Maker's breath, you didn't even try to stop me when I ran from the ceremony! How am I supposed to trust you, when you didn't give me a single damn reason before?"
The green eyes narrowed and he leaned forward, offering her a frown of his own. "If you meant nothing to me, why would I be here? Why would I leave my clan for a girl who ran away like a spoiled child?"
"My parents probably sent you," she grumbled, slumping.
"Your parents have nothing to do with this. My clan didn't ask me to come after you. Nobody put me up to this."
"So you left it all behind just for me?" she sneered.
Nalamir pursed his lips. "I abandoned my clan for you, Rai'eena. I can't go back."
The warrior stared at him, then curled her lip. "You liar. Your clan and your apprenticeship meant everything to you. You always kept our relationship a secret, even while Leda and Talian were open with their affections, no matter who was watching!"
"Ah, the truth comes out!" he proclaimed, his husky voice dripping with sarcasm. "You left because of the wedding, not because you were refused entry! It was all because your sister married the male of your dreams."
"Don't you dare claim to know my dreams!" Her voice rose as her hands slammed down on the table, making the bowl bounce. Nalamir's tankard remained in place, courtesy of the grip he had taken on the handle before her outburst. "I gave him up when you and I started seeing each other! It was your refusal to treat me as anything other than some distraction that made me leave! Venhidis, you always treated me like a child! You still are!"
"If you want to be treated like an adult, then stop acting like a child," he growled, emerald eyes flashing.
"I am not acting like a child!"
Someone cleared their throat behind her, making the mercenary jump and twist in her seat. The barkeep stood with his arms crossed atop his enormous pot of a belly, scowling down at her. "If you can't keep the noise down, I'll throw you back outside, coin or no," he threatened.
Suddenly conscious of the inn's other occupants, Rai'eena blushed. "I'm sorry."
Nalamir rose to his feet. "Let's take this upstairs. I have a room already."
"So do I," she grumbled.
The Dalish spread his hands, tilting his head to the side with a mocking smile. "Then would you be more comfortable if we took this to your room?"
Rai'eena frowned at him, then brusquely waved at the stairway leading to the rooms. "My room. Let's go."
Nalamir followed closely after her, and Rai'eena was very aware of his nearness. Angry though she was, the warrior woman found herself remembering vividly the afternoons they had spent together in the depths of the forest, and how much she had enjoyed his company. It was not a distraction she was willing to indulge, and it only made her anger rise that much higher.
She found her room and fit the key to the lock, jerking it in the keyhole and shoving the door open. Nalamir held a hand out, stopping the door from banging into her as it rebounded from the wall, then glided past her into the room. Rai'eena shot him a baleful glare as he settled into the room's sole chair, leaving the bed for her. She stalked over to the mattress and dropped onto it, ignoring the alarming creak of the wooden frame.
"I will ask again: what are you doing here?"
The Dalish crossed his legs, resting his folded hands atop his knee. "I already told you: I left the clan to find you."
"To force me back to the Brecillian?" she snarled, baring her teeth.
Nalamir's eyes gleamed in the light from the candle on the bedside table, glowing like emerald fires against the near-blackness of his tattoos. "I came for my own reasons, Rai'eena."
"What reason could you possibly have to chase after me?"
"I told you earlier. I want to build a life with you, and I was making plans towards that end. You ran away before I could tell you what I had in mind."
The mercenary shook her head, sending her scarlet locks flying. "Stop lying to me! That is not why you're here; you never loved me!"
"Stop saying that!" Nalamir's shout startled her, and she looked at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw. Rai'eena had never heard him raise his voice before, nor seen him look so fierce. He glared at her, his own green eyes narrowed into menacing slits. The warrior woman, who had confronted and slain men and beasts twice his size since leaving home, felt an apprehensive shudder crawl along her flesh. "I thought you already knew how I felt about you. I told you that I loved you many times before you left, and you replied in kind. Why did you change your mind?"
"Because you betrayed me, Nalamir!"
"How did I betray you? By not saying anything in your favor when the Keeper asked you what benefits you brought to the clan? You know as well I do that you were more of a liability to the clan as a whole. You were a poor hunter. You had no interest in foraging. You knew no crafts. You regularly fought with half of the clan's females, and had no interest in learning to care for the halla. The Dalish need providers and craftsmen, people who will do their utmost to keep the peace and support the group, not young hotheads with no skill other than bladework."
"I could have acted as a guard when the clan moved, or procured goods you couldn't get yourself," she seethed, crossing her arms and slumping.
"Every one of the adult Dalish are capable of defending themselves and each other. Your sister was far better suited to dealing with outsiders than you; she was always smoothing things over when your temper got the better of you." Nalamir's gaze bored into her own, forcing her to look at the floor to hide her shame. "You brought little advantage to the clan, and any benefits that could be gained by your skill with a blade were not worth the price of simply keeping you around. I will say it plainly: I said nothing because there was nothing that could brighten your appeal in the Keeper's eyes."
Rai'eena glared at him, grinding her teeth. "Then your words about starting a clan with me are empty. If I brought nothing of worth to your people, then I would be a hindrance in the creation of a new group. There was no reason for you to remain attached to me, let alone follow me."
"Not true. The clan had no place for you, but I do." He leaned forward, resting his weight upon the forearms crossed atop his knee. Once again, Rai'eena found herself unable to look away from his eyes. "To create a clan, there needs to be several components. There must be a Keeper to guide, hunters to provide, a craftsman to supply, and halla for the ride. But there must also be someone of reasonable skill to protect the group while the numbers build, since a fledgling clan is vulnerable to all attackers. I already have a potential Keeper and three experienced hunters lined up to join, but none of us is skilled with a blade. We need someone like you, Rai'eena. Someone who can handle herself in a fight and cares enough to shield us in an ambush."
"Wait. You left the clan, but you still have four elves willing to do the same, in spite of your departure?" she asked skeptically, one scarlet brow raised high.
Nalamir nodded. "Keeper Enthrain's First, Andayla. She has already learned all that she may under his tutelage, but he has little desire to give the clan over to her. He is still a relatively young elf, so it is unlikely that she would inherit the role of Keeper any time soon. As for the others, they are likewise disenchanted with their roles in the clan and wish to hold a position of higher importance to the group as a whole. Once we have our halla, they will be ready to break off from the others with me." He sat back in the chair, still holding her gaze captive. "That just leaves you. We need your skills to keep us safe."
She frowned, but it was not as deep as before. Rai'eena had always wanted to feel needed, important. Growing up as the daughter of the renegade Champion Hawke, twin to a prodigy healer, she had been keenly aware that she was not as special as her mother and sister. She had clung to her father because he possessed no magic, no otherworldly power. Fenris had taught her to wield her sword, but she did not have his lyrium abilities. Even Malcolm had inherited a small bit of magic from their parents, although his skill was less that of a mage and more of a hunter who could stir up small breezes and rustle leaves to distract his prey. She was the only member of the family who had no eldritch talents, and all her life she had felt overshadowed by the feeling that she was somehow less than her parents and siblings. Part of the reason she had left the forest was to make a name for herself as a mercenary, to know how her mother must have felt during the years when she was a rising star in the Kirkwall's underworld. She had wanted to prove herself, not only to the world at large, but to her own satisfaction.
It had been nearly a year, and she still had little weight attached to her name.
The mercenary considered Nalamir's offer. The Dalish were not swordsmen, that was true. They primarily relied on their archery to defend themselves, or their long hunting knives if forced into a corner. But they had long since adopted a dazzling number of tactics designed to enhance the strength of that approach to combat and mitigate the weaknesses. They were far from defenseless. That aside, not all the elves were archers. Rai'eena could think of several individuals she had met over the years who placed their skill in swordplay, eschewing the bow almost entirely.
"Why me?" she felt herself asking. "There are many warriors among the Dalish who favor the sword. Why would you choose a half-blood like me when you could attract any number of swordsmen from the clans? Maker's breath, my father isn't even Dalish! He's an elf of the cities, not the forests. Why would you want someone who doesn't have even one drop of Dalish blood in her?"
Nalamir's black-rimmed eyes pierced her soul. "Because you are you. Rai'eena, do I truly need to say it plain? Have you not figured it out already?"
She scratched her head, sending several thick locks of scarlet hair tumbling across her right eye. A toss of her head slipped the offending strands behind her ear. "I want to hear you say it," she told him in a flat voice.
"Very well." Nalamir rose from his chair and came to sit beside her on the bed. Rai'eena forced herself to remain in place, not scoot away from him. She managed to meet his jade eyes when they sought hers. "I love you, Rai'eena. I always have. I left my clan for you, and it is my intention to begin a new life with you at my side." He grabbed her hand, taking advantage of her shock so she was unable to pull away. "I want a family with you, not a fling. That has been my wish since we were children, since the first time you came to look at ironbark blades."
There it was, then. The thing that had bothered her since she left, that niggling sense that Nalamir had been as invested in their relationship as she was. The mercenary bit her lip and looked down, fighting back tears as the loneliness and shame she had ignored for so long rose from the depths of her heart. "How could you love me?" she whispered. "I'm nothing. My sister is the better catch, and so are all those maidens in the clan. All I do is cause fights and trouble for everyone around me. I mean, I can't even get decent work as a sword-for-hire. I'm not worthy of your love."
"That's not your decision to make," Nalamir gently scolded, his voice soft. "I am the one who decides who to share my life with, and that choice has always been you. You are a difficult woman to love, Rai'eena. But love you I do, and I have since the first time I saw you. No other maiden could ever hold my attention because they are all pale shadows in comparison to you, to the fire that you have in your spirit."
The words pierced the seal she had placed on her emotions, and she tilted her head forward so her hair spilled across her eyes, hiding the tears. A final attempt at maintaining her strong, invincible persona. "But I... I'm..."
"Don't. Whatever you're about to say, don't." The Dalish pulled her arm, and she fell against his chest with a surprised sob. He wrapped her in his embrace before she could push him away. She was much stronger than he was physically, but a part of Rai'eena was not surprised to find that she lacked the will to separate them. "Your race doesn't matter one bit to me. Elf, human, half-blood, dwarf - it wouldn't not change how I feel about you. I love you, and that's all I care about. Even if don't want to accept my feelings now, I'm not giving up. I'll follow you to the farthest corners of Thedas, if that's what it takes to make you change your mind."
Rai'eena buried her face into his chest, feeling the hammer of his pulse against her cheek. Unbidden, her arms circled his thin waist and squeezed tightly. "You're certain that I'm what you want?" she choked out.
"Beyond any doubt," he murmured against her hair. "And I did try, Rai'eena. I tried so hard to forget you, whenever we left the Brecillian. I struggled to understand how I could love a half-breed and I tried to court Dalish maidens. But it never worked. All it did was make my heart ache, and your face kept swimming before my eyes whenever I spent time with another woman. Even if I wanted a pure-blood, I could never have one because I am completely in love with you."
She hugged him again, hard enough to make him grunt in discomfort. "That's for trying to love somebody else," she told him between sobs.
Nalamir chuckled and tightened his own embrace. "What about you?" he asked. "I already have an idea, but... Was our relationship some fling to you?"
The mercenary shook her head and lifted her face out of his shirt, aware that she must look positively dreadful right now. She had never been a very ladylike crier, and her face and eyes were almost certainly flushed as red as her hair while her nose dripped. "In case you haven't figured it out yet, one of the reasons why I ran was because I thought you didn't love me, that you had used me. If I didn't give one damn about you, then I might not have been so desperate to leave."
"If I had to speak it plain, then you do as well," he coaxed, holding her captive with his gaze.
"Then I'll prove it." She raised her head a bit higher, pressing her lips against his. He tensed, surprised by the sudden kiss, but then his mouth opened to hers, and one of his hands threaded into her hair to keep her steady. After a few breathless moments, she drew back and looked into his passion-glazed eyes.
"I love you, Nalamir," she said simply.
He flashed her a crooked smile. "I already knew that."
Her eyes widened and she stared at him, her jaw hanging loose. "Then why in the Void did you make me say it?" she finally managed, too shocked to get angry.
"Not to humiliate you, I promise. What I want to hear is your answer to my proposal," he clarified, cutting off her furious protest. "Will you come with me, Rai'eena?"
"I..." Her voice trailed off and she shook her head, smiling around her sigh. "I still can't wrap my head around this, you know. It's hard to imagine that a Dalish would be all right with a half-blood, let alone marry one."
"Well, half-bloods have to come from somewhere. The same goes for quarter-bloods." Nalamir kissed her again, a quick peck of the lips. "What say you?"
Rai'eena offered him a sultry grin, tilting her head so her hair fell across one of her eyes. "I say...if you want me, you have me."
"Oh, I want you, all right," he told her in a hoarse voice, his eyes darkening. "Shall I demonstrate?"
She considered him for a moment, then raised her hands and buried them in his hair, bringing Nalamir closer. Just before she sealed their lips, she issued a challenge. "Only if you think you can handle it."
A slow, husky chuckle rumbled from the depths of his chest. "I think I've proven that I can make you shriek."
"Ah, but it's been two years," she teased, tilting backwards. His hands guided her down to the bed and she settled against the sheets, linking her fingers behind his neck. "Are you certain that you still know what I enjoy?"
Nalamir's eyes danced in the candlelight as he leaned down. "Let us find out."