AN: Thanks again for taking the time to r&r. I appreciate it, you don't know how much I do. Second to last chapter. I'm a little anxious, as I'm not sure whether you'll like this or not... Enjoy. Special thanks to my wonderful beta criminalkeen and Zamida for that beautiful poem.

Disclaimer: Nothing has changed.

Chp. 13

Before Liz could process that thought, the Concierge of Crime turned his head and was now looking directly at her. He had seen her apparently, since the smile slipped from his lips and he stared open-mouthed at her. Before she realized what she was doing, Liz turned on the spot and hurried away. She could hear the distant screech of a chair being pushed away hastily and footsteps falling over the hard pavement.

"Lizzie!" Oh, god... his voice alone almost made her cry again. The former FBI agent ducked into an alley and almost ran for it. She rounded another corner, when she felt a vice like grip on her upper arm, before she was pressed into a wall. "Lizzie..."

She couldn't help herself. Her left hand lifted on its own accord and touched his cheek. His eyes closed at the contact and Liz bit the inside of her cheek. Oh, how she had missed him.

"You should go back to your date," she said and her voice sounded off, even to her own ears.

His eyes snapped open. "That's not what it is. I swear to you, it's not." Liz only nodded half-heartedly. "Madeline only helped me find Dembe's killer. Nothing else. I promise, Lizzie."

She wanted to believe him. "It doesn't matter. It's not like we're together."

"We are... we used to be," he said regretfully.

"Not anymore. So it's not really any of my business." She tried to pull away, but he held her tightly.

"Please let me explain, let me try to explain," he begged and that wasn't something you would usually hear from Raymond Reddington. When she failed to answer, his left hand gently touched her cheek, much like she had touched his.

"You're still wearing the ring." She noted.

He nodded and that was when Liz noticed the wetness in his eyes. "I'm still committed to you."

"Ray -"

"Please," he interrupted. "Please let me explain, Lizzie." He pleaded. "Where are you staying? I could -"

"Where are you staying?" She asked back. He rattled off an address. "I'll come by."

Hope shone brightly in his eyes. "Tonight?" He asked and she nodded. He leaned his forehead against hers then. "Thank you."

"I'll see you tonight," she said and pulled free.

The Blacklist The Blacklist The Blacklist

Liz found herself at his safe house that night. She didn't know if that had been the right decision, but she was still in love with him. So very much. She gently rapped on the door and it opened only moments later. The look he gave her clearly showed that he hadn't thought she would turn up at all.

"Lizzie." The smile that came to his lips couldn't have been bigger. "Please." He opened the door further and she stepped in. "Would you like something to drink?"

Liz shook her head in the negative as she hesitantly sat down on one side of the sofa. He sat down next to her, turned towards her, but with enough space between them so she wouldn't feel suffocated.

"I'm so glad you're here. Thank you. For giving me the chance to explain. Though I'm not sure how to do that." He spent the next half an hour or so explaining his feelings to her, how he hadn't felt a pain as intense as he had with Dembe dying, since he had lost his family. He knew she was listening closely, but she gave no insight as to whether what he said even mattered anymore.

She didn't even react when he ended his confession with an 'I love you'.

"Are you done?" She asked calmly. He was afraid to nod, thinking she would leave.

"Yes..." He said softly at last.

"You broke my heart," was the first thing that left her mouth and Red felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. "I was trying to help you cope and you broke my heart, even though you promised you wouldn't, but you did. I know what it feels like to lose the person you love. You of all people should know that I do." Another blow. "I was in a bad state. The last couple of weeks have been a horrible experience, though, under normal circumstances, they should've been anything but. Being pregnant had been far from my mind."

"You're pregnant?"

Before he could get his hopes up, she continued. "I lost it... The doctor assured me that it wasn't because of the stress, but I don't know... I..." She broke off and a lone tear made its way down her cheek.

His heart broke. For her, for their... their baby. It would've been the most beautiful baby ever, he was sure of it. His Lizzie was the mother, how could it not? He put his hand to her cheek and wiped the wetness away, before gently tugging her towards him. "I'm so sorry..." He said and his voice broke at the end.

She let herself be pulled against his chest, his scent calming her. Liz was about to close her eyes when she noticed a necklace around his neck. She gently touched the chain, pulling it from under his dress shirt. "You're wearing the ring?" she asked in amazement, for a moment forgetting all the bad that had happened to her, to them.

He nodded, "Haven't taken it off since you left."

She released a shuddering breath and dropped her head to his chest.

"I love you, Lizzie" was the last thing she heard before she fell asleep.

The Blacklist The Blacklist The Blacklist

Liz woke up and carefully untangled herself from Red's arms. The man was breathing evenly and he looked so peaceful at that moment. She had to get away from him. Had to think about everything. Would she ever be able to open her heart to him again? She silently made her way away from the living room. Instead of leaving the house, she ended up sitting in the study. Apparently she had taken up some of his quirks. The big dark brown desk held lots of papers and photos. Most of them showed them as a couple, joking, kissing, holding each other. There were even some with Stuart, the quokka. She smiled at a photo where Stuart was on Red's lap, refusing to let go of the fedora in the man's hand.

Her eyes fell on a crumpled piece of paper and she put down the photo to inspect the new item.

~ Sweetheart,

This feeling of love that I hold within my heart for you runs deeper than any ocean or sea; I just wish you could see how much you mean to me. If only you could hold me, then maybe you would feel my love for you that burns with a flame high enough to last. If only you could hear my heart beat, then maybe you would understand the language of love with which it speaks. If only you could kiss me then maybe you would taste my love for you that's so sweet, and if only you could look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that this is no lie.

So, if what you feel for me is real and what you say is true, then with all my heart do I trust thee. If you want me as your love as much as I want you as my love then so be it. I give you this heart of mine and ask nothing less or nothing more but just that you don't go breaking my heart. My love and trust is all I have to give to you, sealed with honesty throughout and as time goes by, may it grow stronger to fulfill your heart's desire.

Hear this, my declaration of love, from me to you. I love you, my Angel, with all my heart and I will never stop loving you. You are my life, you are my everything. Though distance may keep us apart, you will always be embedded deep within my heart.

Your love,

Raymond ~