Well hello everybody, thanks for waiting for this chapter ^ ^

...I hope it was worth the wait *Obviously not nervous about rusty writing style*

O_O Why do my fics end up longer than they should be?

Sonic Ironic Moronic Platonic 2: Shadow's bean

"Hey Shadow." Sonic sat in front of the TV, waving his arms and deliberately blocking Shadow's view. The black hedgehog was in a comfortable position in the couch; his feet cocked up crossed on the matching foot rest, only one kick away from Sonic's face. "Feed me." He demanded, baring a tiny fang under the left side of his mouth.

"Go home." Shadow wasn't planning on moving from this spot, not when he's reading his upmost favourite section in his newspaper, the comic section. Oh yes…No one will ever understand the gut hurting humour like Shadow did. Nothing shall disturb this moment of peace…

Unless your name is Sonic and like to karate chop newspapers out of the way just to do your so called signature pout "But Shadooooowwww! Make me something to eat!"

"Can't you cook for yourself?" Shadow resisted the urge to strike him straight away. This is a shocking first. Usually he'd abuse the powers of Chaos Control and lock Sonic outside again but that instantly follows up with the blue hog digging his way back in and ruining the back garden. Only God knows how Sonic manages to do it every goddamn time. Without fail.

Sonic reclined his head all the way back baring a rather displeased, if not insulted look on his face "Ehh? Is that how you treat your guests?" He rolled onto his stomach and scoffed while flicking Shadow's feet out of boredom "No wonder you rarely have people around. You're just a boring ass grump!"

"CHAOS…"

Many sweat drops appeared around Sonic's head as a frightful aura loomed over Shadow. "AH—" A Nano second later Sonic landed face first into concrete "Damnit he used Chaos Control again!" he pulled himself up and spat out a few stones lodged in his teeth. The ground had a huge dent of his face.

And a tooth.

He scanned the area around him, realizing Shadow only teleported him just behind the back yard fence and smirked. It's like the black hedgehog wants to be invaded by Sonic again but of course the blue blur would never miss an opportunity to mess with Shadow "Well then…I'm gonna wreck it!"

While that ridiculous plan was happening, the oblivious Shadow hopped to his feet after hearing his doorbell being abused by another annoyance he has to deal with.

Silver.

"Hi hi Shadow! How are ya?" he greeted Shadow with a warm welcome

"…"

Shadow slammed the door.

"NOO PLEASE LET ME IN!" Shadow could hear Silver scratching on the door and decided to let him in after five minutes of snot dribbling and overdramatic pleas. If he allowed Silver to carry on, it would lead to his door breaking and possibly much worse events he couldn't possibly imagine without shuddering.

"Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU SHADOW~! You're such a nice person!" The cheerful hedgehog praised even with latter's hand gripping his face. "Just hurry up and leave white boy. What do you want?" Shadow grumbled and lowered his hand, plopping himself back in the couch.

Silver invited himself to the seat next to him, violating the rules of personal space. He was so close that their noses briefly touched. Silver's canary orbs seemed to grow and shimmer, emphasising his innocence in contrast to Shadow's darting evil glares while trying to find his gun. "You know! The usual, don't pretend you don't know now!"

Then Shadow rolled his eyes, pushed Silver back and face palmed. He can't even remember why he agreed to let Silver plant flowers in the backyard. From what he could recall, Silver mentioned Blaze's allergy to a certain flower causes her to sneeze flames. One time poor Silver nearly lost his house to this unexpected threat so he begged and pleaded for Shadow's permission as he is his only friend...besides Sonic.

"Oh, that. They're still in the ba—"

KONK.

The boys' attention shifted to the living room window, now covered with splodges of mud and slowly sliding down.

No second was wasted dashing to the scene of the crime. Indeed, there were many holes dug up, rocks thrown around and flowers torn and ruined. All thanks to one hedgehog with his tail wagging in front of them.

"MY PETUNIAS!"

The perpetrator sat up with said flower in his mouth "AH FU—"

TWACK!

"How come you allow Silver's presence and not mine? I call favouritism!" Sonic pointed the accusing finger at Shadow, the bump on his head started to glow. Shadow had punched him and dragged his weak body inside while Silver prepared tiny graves for painful deaths his flowers had to go through.

"Silver doesn't piss me off as much as you do." He huffed with folded arms

"That's discrimination!" Sonic gasped.

"We're all hedgehogs."

"It is discrimination to hedgehogs with no chest hair!" the anger in Sonic clearly showed on his body; the six quills on his head were totally stiff. Shadow blinked a few times. "Wait What?"

"I'M HUNGRY SHADOW!"

"GET OUT."

"I CAN'T! That's what I'm trying to tell you!"

"Wha—I'm going to regret asking this…but why can't you go home?"

"Tails locked me out!" the tearful hedgehog got down on all fours and sighed in depression. Tears combined with drool formed a puddle in between his gloved hands, visualizing the tempting glass jar filled with jelly beans hidden underneath Tails' bed. "How was I supposed to know they were off limits?"

"You reap what you sow." Shadow rolled his eyes.

Suddenly an awkward silence occurred. Sonic seriously got up just to stare curiously into Shadow's eyes. What's with people trying to murder him with their gaze?

Sonic's attention trailed down "You know your nose kinda looks like a—"

"Don't even think about eating my fucking nose."