Edward's body is starting shift around on me. He's probably going to wake up soon from his nap.

The light coming from the window is dimming and soon it's gonna get dark and pitch black. Plus there is a lot of trees around my home so whatever light can come through the thick branches so it's not surprising at all if the night seems to come earlier than usual in here than elsewhere in this town.

It is kind of odd, when you think about it, that Edward can stay here with me surrounded by the woods when it's so much like the place where he was captivated. It wouldn't even be weird if he wanted to get out of the town or the whole fucking state. But still he's here. With me. Could I possibly be the reason he's still here? I've never asked him before.

Edward's not as relaxed as he was moments ago and his muscles are getting tense again. Getting ready to flee if necessary. It breaks my heart. It must wear him out. Most times he can't even relax in his sleep. Poor boy.

"Darling, are you up already?" I ask in a whisper, though I know his awake. If I didn't know that for certain, I wouldn't ask and bug him by waking him up with that.

He usually takes his nap in the afternoon five and maybe wakes up at seven or just sleeps till it's morning again. You might think that's boring for me, but actually it isn't. And if I got something to do that day, those a times are good for doing them without leaving his side while he's conscious. But really I just want to be near him all the time, sleeping or not, keep him safe and surrounded by love. I know he hasn't gotten that nearly enough before. I'm trying to show him affection he couldn't even dream of, when he was captured and taken to that cabin and tortured by "mean words", bullying and abuse.

"Hmm", he hummed as a grant. His fluffy mess of silky hair hid his face as he rub it against my chest. I hold him tighter trying to get impossibly closer. He lifted his chin on my chest and looked at me with those big, beautiful, sad eyes.

"Do you want to get up?" I asked him and ran my fingers through his bronze/copper locks. It was heavenly.

"Do you have something to do again?" he asked calmly. But I was surprised. "You know that I work while you sleep?" He nodded, then lowered his haunting eyes. "I'm sorry about that. I don't mean you to waste your time on me, keeping you from doing what you need, want to do."

I was a bit shock to say at least. But it was nothing out of ordinary for him to think things like that about himself and always blaming himself.

"You don't make me 'waste' my time. I always want to be with you. Especially when you're awake, but very much too when you sleep. I just want to cuddle you, when you sleep. But I see it as a convenient time to do my stuff. It's more your sake I do that. If I could I would always be with you right there, right by your side. I truly wish it was like that. But it isn't unfortunately."

"So you would want to be with me, just for me?"

I was selfish although I don't want to be, but sometimes people want that. He was something appropriate to be selfish about. So I will tell him the truth.

"No. I want to be with you. I want to be by your side. And I like to think you like it too when I am." His green eyes rose and seemed pierce to my soul with their intensity. He was clearly checking if I was telling him the truth. And I was. His eyes' intensity started to falter away as they found out what they were looking for. It turned to incomprehension.

"Why?" he asked in a quiet, broken voice. His eyebrows wrinkled in the middle. I raised my back from the bed and at the same time raising him too. He was startled by it, but as I hold him to chest still he adjusted himself on my lap. His cheek was pressed against my chest, just below my chin. His hair tickled me nicely.

"I don't think I'll live long enough to explain all the reasons to you. But if you don't mind I will just sum it up for you in three words, okay? You are perfect", I told him looking down at him, trying to find his eyes again. They were fearful somehow, his sensual lips at gape.

"You don't understand that, do you?" He confirmed it with a slight nod. Shame was obvious on his face. He tried to obviate me from touching him then by trying to get up. I didn't want to force him to be in my touch, but when he fell onto the floor - his legs caught in the creases of the blanket - I had to go to him and see if he's alright.

I rushed to his side where he was trying to get up, but his long and thin delicate legs were still tangled in the blanket that fell down with him from the bed. "Oh, are you okay? Edward, are you hurt?" I asked solicitous and uneasy and my hands already caressing him into my arms and to examine if something was wrong.

"I'm fine", he said, his voice just above a whisper, but sounding a little annoyed. "Are you?" I could feel him start to sob at any time. I was so worried about him. "I am!" he yelled suddenly, but just as quick the anger came on him it went away and he began to cry. I pressed his head on my shoulder. I don't think his that hurt physically than emotionally now, so I don't go around getting bandages and healing creams.

"It's okay, darling. It's okay. Let it out. I've got you", I encouraged him, when tries to stop it all from coming and wiped the tears from under his eyes constantly. "You're gonna be okay", I said to him and rocked us on the ground. It was terrible to hear all the sorrow from him, but then again it meant it would be gone from him after this. But I knew that wasn't all of it.

Not even close.