A/N: Enjoy :)
"Castle," Kate said suddenly, mild urgency laced through her tone. He started at the noise having drifted off into his own little world. She waited until his eyes focused on hers before continuing, "Gimme your phone."
Castle wordlessly reached into his pocket and drew out the device, handing it to her. She gave Alexis' hand a quick squeeze, used her thumbs to dial a number, and brought the phone up to her ear.
"I'm calling my dad." She explained, hesitating before quietly asking, "May I have some privacy please?" She averted her eyes, embarrassed at the request.
Castle nodded and cleared his throat, "Yeah, of course," they stood and made their way out of the room. Alexis left to get coffee while he stationed himself outside the room by the window, unwilling, unable to tear his eyes away from her for even a minute. The sight of her tore his heart in half, he felt like sinking to his knees and weeping passionately but he also felt an unfamiliar, sickening anger towards the men that did this to her. She looked inches from death, the bruises covering her arms, neck, and plunging down her chest under her gown had turned a ghastly yellow and some were verging on green. Daggers struck his heart to know that it must be worse on her torso, judging from her shallow breathing and the frequency the nurses came to check on her. He and his daughter hadn't looked as they examined her, knowing that she valued her privacy and pride. He felt anger growing, eating him, his face dyed red, his closed fists shaking from tension. He was losing control, he could tell, so he found her eyes, looking tiredly out the window facing outside, and ground himself in them.
He saw her faint smile and the curve of her mouth as she spoke. Though she kept her face gentle, her eyes spoke of a greater pain. He analyzed every line on her face, each revealing her thoughts through her conversation. The talk was brief, but Castle would have given an arm and a leg to be a fly on the wall. he didn't understand their relationship; it was so different from the one he shared with is daughter. He didn't understand how they could communicate so much with so few words or be so comforted by simply each other's presence, even on the phone. In retrospect is was a similar relationship that Kate shared with him, but he knew that a bond between father and daughter shares no comparison.
Finally, it seemed like ages for Castle, she lowered the phone from her ear and, ending the call, cradled it gently in her hands. He made to enter the room but paused, deciding to wait for Alexis so she would feel safer. He became transfixed on her face, watching it evolve into a state of determined resolve and by the time Alexis returned five minutes later, juggling three coffees in her hands, Castle could tell that weepy, hurt, broken Kate had been replaced by resilient, stubborn, selfless Beckett. At least for now. When he and Alexis entered the room again, the somber mood was gone and a dull sparkle glinted in Beckett's eye as she shared a knowing smile with Castle at the coffee she was offered. She pulled up Flappy Bird on the phone in her hand and they took turns playing, jesting and jeering. The girls coming up with theories on how Castle had cheated to get a score of 217 while Castle harassed the two girls on their meager high scores in the twenties, the friendly banter hinting towards the normality Beckett had been desiring since she had woken.
Beckett was only mildly surprised when Lanie came bursting through the door, but flinched as it banged loudly against the wall. The smiles faded from their faces and Kate dug her nails into her palms at the look of sorrow that washed over her friend's face as she took in her condition.
"Oh, sweetie, what happened?" The woman asked softly before disapprovingly adding, "And why didn't you call me?" Beckett had to make a conscious effort not to snap at her friend for her selfishness, instead sheepishly explaining, "I got mugged."
Lane examined her injuries with a trained eye and walked over to her chart, "No!" Kate yelped, biting her lip after the sudden outburst and, concealing her true motives, added as sincerely as possible, "You're not my doctor. I need you to just be my friend now, okay?"
Lanie's eyes narrowed suspiciously but she tentatively set the chart back on the end of the bed before walking over to Beckett's side.
Alexis slid off the side of the bed where she had been playing and moved to the corner of the room.
Lanie took the chair and hesitated before cradling Beckett's hand in her two. Kate wondered at the astounding instincts her love ones had for the contact she needed and could handle. The hand was so safe, she had the control, it did wonders to the fear she was experiencing towards being touched. The warmth of the soft hands on hers sent a small shiver of love up her arm.
Kate sighed softly and started on a lie that would become well practiced of the the next couple of weeks. She fed her friend the truth she remembered up until she had the man on the ground in the alleyway. From there it became a vague but gallant story with a tragic ending that Castle found himself cringing to, but still wishing it held more truth than he knew it did. He would eventually find himself hating this story, each retelling would drive him deeper, darker into his imagination, conjuring up images of an increasingly violent nature. His fascination with murder combined with seething anger budding into intricate schemes designed to make the men pay.
They had a different effect on Beckett. She found solace in the tales, almost convincing herself that they were true until someone's thoughtless pat on the back or too firm handshake brought her right back to that God forsaken mattress. She told this story as often as she could, naively convinced that this could somehow change the past.
Alexis made herself scarce each time she heard the story coming after the first telling, and she became able to detect it from a mile away. She had it worked down to a science. Anytime someone new came over it would take between three and five minutes for greetings to be make and food or flowers safely stashed away and then the story would come out. At this point Alexis would, tactfully but efficiently, leave. The story for her became a sickening excuse and only served to bury Kate's emotional trauma. She felt betrayed by it, it made the world seem so much more humane than the reality.
However the first time, as all first times are, was new territory for all of them. Kate numbly rattled off details, cautiously avoiding any scenarios in which lust for anything beyond her monetary valuable could be interpreted. Rick listed in stunned silence, his mind supplying the faces and in betweens of her lie. Alexis was harshly ripped from the last of her childhood innocence as her eyes translated each articulation in Kate's face. She saw everything there and heard emotions she didn't even know were possible flicker through Kate's anything but steady words and eyes.
Lanie appeared entirely fooled, but they all knew she saw something beyond the story. This is something Beckett would always be grateful for: the respect and time her friend rewarded her in her time of need; knowing, in a way only the closest of friends can, that she needed it.
"I left the precinct a little bit later than I intended so I ducked down a side street. I saw a group of guys comin' at me," Rick flinched at her word choice, "They saw my clutch," His mind supplied body parts in place of the bag, "And demanded that I give it to them. I said no and so they pushed my around a little bit." Rick saw hands groping rather than shoving, "I fought, but there were too many of them." Alexis shuddered, feeling pathetically weak next to the strong woman who had failed. Kate smirked, "I must have gotten one of them pretty badly, though, because they got really angr-" Kate felt the word stall on her tongue as she was transported back to the room.
She cowered there, frozen as the towering statues of men approached her in slow motion. There was burning agony in the junction of her legs. Her gut was clenching and twisting stronger than any cramp. The blood that was seeping out of her filled her with overwhelming shame. Her filth disgusted her. She could barely breath for the hurt; short and rapid pants narrowly serving her oxygen needs. Each one sending a piercing pain through her entire chest. Her vision was spotted, the men came in and out of focus. Cruel voices penetrated her consciousness though the meaning of the words from their horrible mouths escaped her. She saw a dirty face approaching her and the stench of alcohol, sweat and urine invaded her nostrils. His sharp stubble scraped against her soft, swelling cheek as his gruff voice offended her ear, too loud, hot and personal. Anger course through her veins, she clenched her muscles until she was in so much pain a restrained yell burst from her lungs drawing her back to the present.
Agitated, Kate drew her hand away from Lanie and brought it to her head, digging her nails into her scalp and pulling at her hair. Her eyes flitted wildly around the room before finding refuge in the ocean of his.
"Angry. They were angry." She muttered breathlessly. They became momentarily lost in each other's eyes and suddenly she wasn't speaking to Lanie anymore, "They were consumed by it, I saw it in every movement they made, every expression in their faces. I was so utterly powerless against them so I gave up. But they thought I had more money." Her voice shook as she finished, "They hit me until I had nothing left." Lanie picked up Kate's hand and ran her thumb over the ring, saying nothing.
"Before that, though, I fought like a fucking dog." A fierce look came into her eyes as she imagined all the horrible things she wished she could have done to them and provided them as truth.
As Kate finished her story there was a light tap at the door. Alexis took a shaky breath before getting up and welcoming Ryan, Esposito and Martha into the room. The boys hung back while Martha stepped forward, handing Kate the bag of clothes and some flowers she held. Kate handed the items to Castle, thanking the woman and greeting the boys with a timid, "Hey".
Ryan and Esposito's eyes grew as they took in Beckett's obviously serious injuries. Tears sprung to Espo's eyes and Ryan grew pale, rasping, "God, Beckett, what happened?"
It's not as bad as it looks," Beckett replied, looking down, but, knowing the boys weren't fooled, she reluctantly sprung into her story.
Alexis, who had been standing by the door, discreetly left and ran to a bathroom in a nearby empty room. Locking the door, she grasped either side of the sink with each hand. Her eyes bore into each other through the mirror and she brought one hand slowly up and outlined her face where Beckett's injuries were. Tears sprang to her eyes as she spun around, clutching her stomach, to lean her back against the counter. Her body doubled over as she dry heaved, her empathy for Kate physically and emotionally overwhelming her. She began to sob, sinking onto the floor with her knees tight against her chest.
"We're going to catch these sons of bitches, Beckett, they're gonna pay." Ryan spat as she finished her story, in a Castle like pizzazz. She had given it a near humorous tone that infuriated her fiance but blessed the rest of the room with a knowingly ignorant bliss.
The five carried on an easy conversation about Castle and Beckett's revelations about the case while Martha watched her son and future daughter-in-law tentatively interact. She saw her tense when Castle resumed his hand's position in hers then slowly relax only to tense again once he started tracing patterns with his thumbs. Her eyes caught flashes of fear on Beckett's face every time of of them made sudden movements. She looked like a caged animal: abused and afraid.
The woman also didn't miss Alexis as she slunk back into the room 10 minutes later, face blotchy and eyes red. Martha took charge of the situation, seeing it heading no where. She sent the detectives back to the precinct, thanking them for coming by, and Castle to double check with the nurses that Beckett would be okay to leave and to pick up a wheelchair.
Once the men left the room, Beckett visibly relaxed. She struggled into a sitting position, clumsily guiding each of her stiff legs over the side of the bed and hissing loudly as she put her stomach muscles into use. The effort left her exhausted and turned her face beet red as she muttered out a plea for help from Alexis.
The other women took this as a silent request for privacy, knowing that Beckett's pride was too damaged to allow her the privilege of asking for it herself. They left the room with excuses involving the words 'Castle' and 'help' meaninglessly thrown around.
When Kate and Alexis were alone, Kate sighed deeply and sat still, head hanging, hair covering her face. Alexis stood and closed the door and blinds fully. She then reached into the bag Martha had supplied, pulling out the underwear and slowly walking in front of Kate, the garment hanging awkwardly in her hands.
Kate cleared her throat, "I, uh, can't reach, Alexis."
The girl nodded and reached down, sliding the panties around Kate's ankles. Guiding them gently up her legs, she saw that they were shaking. Alexis squeezed her eyes shut briefly and stopped the ascent at Kate's knees. She reached over and grabbed the jeans that sat nearby. Gently holding her ankle, Alexis slid Kate's foot through the hole in the fabric, mirroring the action on the other side. As she drew them up, the fabric pulled against the dozens of tiny scabs that had formed along her leg. She refrained a shutter at the thought of how the cuts had been formed and pulled the pants tight along her calves but left them with her underwear around her knees.
Kate brought her arms up and lay her hands on Alexis' shoulders before sliding them around into a hug-like embrace, allowing the girl to support her as she attempted to stand. Kate felt her legs wobble but managed to erect herself. She looked up into the air, rebellious tears swelling in her eyes, breath catching in her throat when she said, "I'm going to need you to pull them all the way up, Alexis."
She didn't see the girl nod, but felt as she brought the garments higher and higher up her thighs. She brought them blessedly slowly, but Kate's breathing still quickened with panic each inch they rose
The intimate experience left both the women shaky and Beckett felt unfounded anger building against the girl for being so understanding, a girl that young shouldn't be so understanding. She reigned it in, but couldn't stop the tears from falling onto her face. She sat down with the young woman's help and watched as she walked back to the bag.
"Are you sure you don't want Lanie for this?" Alexis questioned as she eyed the bra and loose sweater her grandmother had brought.
"If you can't," Kate paused, thinking about her word choice, "handle it… you can grab her, but," She clasped Alexis' soft, small hand in her worn, rough ones and looked her tentatively in the eye, "I would prefer you."
Alexis nodded and allowed a solemn, near professional look to cover her face. She made her way to the other side of the bed, facing Kate's back and began to unbutton her gown. Their breaths became a quiet harmony to the rain outside as the young woman's work exposed more and more of Kate's slender back. Alexis relaxed as she saw that there was no evidence of injury, excluding the white of the bandage that wrapped around from the stomach.
Cool air wafted against Kate's torso as she stiffly removed the garment and placed it to her side, reaching for the bra she knew Alexis held. She slid her hands into the loops and brought the straps up to her shoulder blades one at a time. She secured it around her breasts and waited while Alexis clipped the back. Kate scrutinized her face as she walked from behind to her front and caught the exact instant the girl saw her injuries.
"Oh God," Alexis gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. She grabbed a tray that had been sitting beside the detective's bed and gagged into it three times before releasing the remnants of last night's dinner onto the platter.
Kate's gut twisted, she had never felt more ashamed about her appearance. Her tongue twisted in her mouth and jaw firmly clenched shut. Apology washed over Alexis' features and she muttered 'sorry', but the damaged had been done. Beckett lifted her chin and sat up a little bit straighter. Alexis slunk over and helped her arms into the sleeves, gently lifting it over her head. Kate duck her head into the hole, fully determined that the piercing pain shooting through her collarbone would not provide Alexis with any more reason to feel sorry for her. When the hoodie was fully on, Beckett let go of a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She worked to keep her breathing steady as she lay back on the bed and let her eyes fall shut.
Alexis slumped on the chair, mentally kicking herself for her reactions and stifling the desire to clean her mouth with a glass of water.
"I need you not to feel sorry for me." Alexis shot her head up and nodded profusely as the words sunk it, uttering, "Yes, of course," a she regarded Kate's shut eyes.
Alexis slowly stood and walked to the window to open the blinds and poked her head out the door to see if her father had returned. She smiled in relief as she saw the man wheeling himself down the hall towards the room with a smirk on his face, Lanie and Martha at his heels, teasingly grumpy looks on theirs. They all froze to gauge Kate's reaction as they entered the room. She looked at him and smiled softly, chuckling, "Oh, Castle."
Castle took in the clothes that she had put on and his face fell, "Kate, you're not aloud to go home. They need to keep you overnight for observation. You have some pretty serious abdominal injuries."
Kate put on a thin, tight smile and replied, "I don't care, Castle. I'll go home with Lanie and stay with her for a couple of days if that's what it takes. She'll take good care of me." Looking to her friend for confirmation.
"I don't know, Kate, that might not be a good idea," the woman started before being cut off by Beckett's glare. "Of course, if we keep a close eye on you, you should be fine." She finished quickly.
Martha quickly ran and grabbed the appropriate paperwork so that Kate could leave against doctor's advice and in thirty minutes and some excellent persuasion skills, they were helping Beckett into the wheelchair and wheeling her down to the car park.
Castle hung back while the women got Beckett settled in the passenger seat. He then stepped forward and crouched down in front of her, gently taking her face between his hands. They became enthralled in each other's eyes and when he leaned forward and planted a lingering and tender kiss on her forehead, she did not feel afraid.