It has been two years. Two years of useless time which held nothing interesting for me, because I didn't have Edward by my side. I wanted him there at all times, but that wasn't possible. I saw him only a couple times in three months.

It was his seventeenth birthday today.

I picked up the tiny package wrapped in dark red wrapping paper and put it in a little, white paperbag. I would have been smiling widely if the occasion otherwise wouldn't be so distressing and woesome.

I got inside my car, black Rabbit that I had repaired on my own, and drove off to the main road that would take me to Vancouver. Edward, in the end, had been admitted back to an asylum where they could treat him the best. He had been feeling down and seemed off to everybody and nobody could lift him up. I'd been chagrined and aggrieved when I went to see him at the Cullen's, thinking that I would make him feel better as I had always, but finding out that I couldn't make him feel better and happier as a surprise.

He had made a shocking move when he was found wandering in the forest without any proper outwear, without any shoes in the middle of the winter. He was told not to go out alone, but he had gone without anyone noticing it before it was too late. He was found near a frozen pond, lying in the snow unconscious. That was a year and a half ago.

I had tried to catch up with him, called him numerous of times, but he just wasn't in the mood most of the time, so we never really saw each other anymore. Then one time I got to meet him at my house, I noticed he had cuts on his arms. First I thought he had went through some injury and when I asked him about it, he started stammering and covering up. I realized then that he had afflicted them himself.
When I dropped him off to his house and his dad came to see me outside, I had to tell him about it. They talked to him about it afterwards. Edward knew it was me who had told them, but he understood why I did it and wasn't mad about it to me although he didn't like how his family had interfered with it and him.

He couldn't stop. His family tried to make it stop, but he always find some way to hurt himself even more. He would go out and wander off into the woods all over again. Freeze in the cold. We would all try to find him, but usually we would come too late and he would already in such state that he eventually landed in the hospital.

He wouldn't talk to any professionals. He wouldn't talk to his family nor me anymore. He shut us all out and stayed in his room, just laying on the bed or on the ground.

The Cullens wouldn't have it. Neither could I. We all agreed that if we couldn't help him on our own, then we would need to take bigger actions. We didn't want to take him there. Not after what had happened before. Edward was absolutely terrified just from the word of an asylum. But we had no other option. At least this time he was in some other asylum.

I sighed heavily at the weather again. It was pouring rain in the whole state of Washington. I was going to drive whole six hours with my windscreen wipers wiping furiously across the screen like that wouldn't annoy me to no ends. I couldn't stand the squeaking sound they made with each wipe.

I snacked on some fruits and chips while on the road and listened to some happy songs. I hope they would make me lighten my mood so that I would be better company for Edward. God, I'm so worried about him. Why did he have to leave me at all? All things went just downwards from that on. He did it for me, then took the fall for himself because of it. And I love him so I follow him wherever he goes, but I think this time he needs to follow me instead. I need to bring him back up.

Thinking of him, the five, six hours go by without me noticing it really and when I get to the institution I'm a bit surprised how quick I got there this time. I park my car between two big, white vans that I feel uncomfortable around. I bet those have straightjackets inside them. I wish Edward has never had to experience that.

I got out and take the little bad with me and eat the last chip before I go in to the clinic. I tell my name and who I'm looking for at the reception and a nurse takes me to his room. I thank the nurse and he continues to walk somewhere else. I hesitate to open the door, not knowing if I'm ready to see him. It's been so long since I've seen him and I don't know how to react to whatever it is behind the white door.

It'll still be my Edward. I doesn't matter how it is. Not in the end. All that matters is that I love him.