Don't forget to breath. Sit up straight. Don't push your boobs out. Don't freak out. Don't say anything stupid. Smile. Make sure you don't have any lipstick on your teeth. Breath. I ranted to myself as I got into Edward's car. This was the point of no return. I wasn't sure how I was going to sit in a car with him for fifteen minutes. I could barely form a coherent thought when he was in the same room, now he's inches away from me.
"What year is your car?" He questioned as soon as he started his car. I could listen to his perfect velvet voice all night long. I don't think it would matter what we talked about, or if I even talked at all. I would be content just listening to him. "Anyone home?" He chuckled snapping me back into reality.
"Uhm. 97' I think," I finally answered him. He only raised an eyebrow. "I bought it off a friend. He was selling it for one grand, and I just needed something in the short term. I'm actually surprised Emmett kept it, it's a clunker." I rambled. I'd gotten the old beat up Volkswagen Bug for my sixteenth birthday. The La Push boys got it running, and Jacob robbed me of all my birthday money. It was a good investment.
"It's a death trap on wheels. You really should get something safer." He sounded more like a worried father than anything else. His tone made me wonder if he had kids, or if he was just that way normally.
"It is not a death trap. Once it gets running again I'll take you on a drive, you'll see." Edward glanced at me like he feared for his life.
"I'm not sure what's worse: The thought of that car ever moving again, or you, the all around klutz driving such an unsafe vehicle. For all I know you could hit the gas when you meant to hit the break and well… it's just a tragedy from there." He gave me a cocky half smile letting me know he was only joking.
"Emmett's house is the other way," I point to the turn he missed.
"I'm aware," He shrugged his shoulders. "I want dessert. I'm not in the business of denying myself things I want. Life is to short." He explained pulling up to an old ice cream shop most people would have driven by. Who the hell opens up a 24-hour ice cream shop? The Newton's, that's who, this place has been in business since Mike told his parents an all hours ice cream shop would be the best idea ever: He was five.
"So you're telling me whenever you want something you just go out and get it?" He shrugged his shoulder holding open the door for me as we walked inside. "That's insane. You cannot always get everything you want."
"I never said I get every single thing my heart desires. I simply said I am not in the business of denying myself things I want. If it's a possibility I'll get it because I'm not going to deny myself something I want." He looked over at the ice cream like an eager little kid.
"That doesn't make any sense." I crossed my arms.
"Let me explain," he leaned up against the glass patently waiting. "Hypothetically speaking, let's say I want to go to Paris, but I have work the next morning." Something about the way he said hypothetically made me think that he'd done this before. "Being the, somewhat, responsible adult that I am, I'll go to work the next morning. However, the next days I have off, I'll be spending them in Paris. If I want to do something you bet your ass I'm going to do it because tomorrow is never guaranteed." I pursed my lips.
"Okay but if I wanted to go to Paris I wouldn't be able to."
"Yes, but we're talking about me, not you. We're different people," he shrugged his shoulders as Mike Newton walked out of the freezer. "Have you decided what you're getting yet?"
"I didn't bring any cash." I explain a blush coming to my cheeks.
"I didn't ask you if you had any money. It's ice cream, I think I can handle six bucks." I bit my lip leaning over looking at the different flavors.
"Cookies & Cream," I announce with a smile. Usually I would have refused to let anyone buy me anything. I didn't like others spending money on me. Then again, that ice cream looked delicious. It's not the only thing, but it's the only thing that I could actually get.
"Funny, I pegged you for a vanilla kind of girl," he gave me a smirk that made me wonder if we were only talking about ice cream. If we weren't why was he even thinking of me like that at all? I mean, this infatuation clearly had to be one sided, right?
"Vanilla is nice every once in a while. A little excitement is always needed. You gotta keep things interesting," I gave him the same playful smirk.
"You know, you're surprising me every second, Swan." I gave a smile as Mike handed me the waffle cone. "Mint chocolate chip for me."
"So predictable," I teased.
"Nah," he smiled taking handing Mike a 20 and taking the waffle cone. "I was just feeling, minty tonight." He pulled out a chair motioning for me to take a seat. "You can't expect me to eat this and drive at the same time." Hey, I wasn't about to complain about spending some time with him. I wanted to get to know him better; there was something about him that was just pulling me closer to him. Something that made me want to know every inch of him. I wanted to know what made Edward, Edward.
"How does one feel minty?" Edward just shook his head.
"I'm glad your car didn't start tonight." He said abruptly licking his lips. "I've come to realize that you've sparked my interest." I had no clue when he had decided to change the conversation, or what he'd decided to change it to.
"Okay?" I said licking my ice cream.
"Not many people can do that anymore."
"I'm sorry, Edward, I really have no clue what you're saying." I gave a slightly nervous chuckle.
"You've simply sparked my interest. I want to know things about you. That doesn't happen very often," he explained taking a lick of his own ice cream.
"What kind of things?" I asked cautiously.
"You know, normal things, like your favorite music, TV shows, books, ice creams. I have a feeling you could shock me," he glanced over his shoulders leaning closer to me. "I wouldn't mind getting to know other things about you." He whispered. Now I couldn't breath. All I could focus on was the fact that his face was inches from mine and I could feel his breath against my face.
"Like?" I managed to breath out.
"I wouldn't mind getting to know what makes you squirm. I want to know every single inch of your body, Isabella," he tucked a stray hair behind my ear.
"Okay," I breathe out like a complete and utter moron.
"Just like that?" He chuckled leaning back in his chair. A blush came over my cheeks and I did my best to avert my eyes. "You know you're Emmett's baby sister? He'd kill me if he knew the things I want to do with you," he mumbled under his breath. I'm not sure I was meant to hear the last part.
"I'm not a baby." I interjected rolling my eyes.
"Fine, you're not a baby," he agreed taking another bite of his ice cream. There was silence while we finished our ice cream, neither one of us bothered to fill it. It seemed he was only messing with me to see what my reaction would be, and I fell for it. Of course a guy like him would have no real interest in me. At least not in that way.
Even so, if he were, would I really offer myself up to be used like that?
The car ride to Emmett's house was silence as well, the only sound was of our breathing and the tires against the pavement. You would have thought the silence would have been at least a bit awkward, but it wasn't. The silence with him was completely comfortable, which gave me a sense of relaxation. At the same time it gave me terrible anxiety. Why was it so easy to be in a silent car with him? Normally there was some need for the silence to be over, or there was at least a sense of tension that hung over the room. With him there was nothing. We were two people, in the same room, not talking and that was comfortable. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
"Hang on," Edward broke the silence as I opened the car door. "I'm going to see something," he said in an unsteady voice. He leaned over me and pulled the door shut trapping me in the car. If I had to be trapped somewhere, this is every girls dream. Before another thought entered my mind his lips crashed onto mine.
I never knew how to describe a perfect kiss, until now. This kiss was perfection. It was rough, and needy. His fingers knotting up in my hair, his mouth opening and our tongues dancing around fighting for dominance. This was an H to T kiss, I felt the sensations from my head to my toes. It made me wonder what other kinds of sensations he could give me. That's when I answered my own question.
For him, I would offer myself up to be used. Not because I had no self respect, and not because I felt like it was the only way to get him. I would offer myself up to him because I wanted to. There was something about him that made me want to know all about him. For some reason, I felt the only way I was ever going to get to know this man was to tear down some of his walls.
With one kiss I could tell he had walls – no – he had great walls.
"I'm not a good man," he said as soon as he pulled his lips from mine.
"You're not a bad man," I said in response trying to get my breathing under control. At least I wasn't the only one having trouble catching my breath, he was breathing just as heavily as I was.
"You don't know me," he said waving me off. "I am not a good man. I've been told I am impossible to get to know, and – to put it in kinder words than I've been told – I'm a jerk. I wanted to try and keep my distance from you out of respect for Emmett, but I just don't think that's possible." I licked my lips hanging onto every word he said.
"Why not?" It was a question I couldn't stop myself from asking. What made me so special?
"Because I am not in the business of denying myself things I want. I've decided that I want you." I bit my lip knowing there was a but, because of his tone. "I would prefer if Alice, and Rosalie didn't know just yet."
"You want it to be a secret?"
"Not a secret. I would just prefer if you don't mention just how close we get with my sisters. They can know we're friends, because as far as anyone knows we are. We're friends who fuck, and we'll see where it goes from there."
I should have ran for the hills. I should have said: I will not be your secret. I should have said: You will treat me with respect and take me to dinner and woo me first. I should have said: You will date me before you get to fuck me
Disclaimer: All the lovely characters in this belong to Stephanie Myers. I am only borrowing them for my entertainment, and of course, yours.
"Okay," I said knowing my mind was already made up. He'd presented me with an opportunity to break down his walls. Maybe it wasn't the best way to go about things, but it was the route I was taking. "But we have to be friends. I'm not comfortable just being your new flavor of the week."
"I have a feeling you're going to be more than a flavor of the week." He mumbled making me tilt my head. "There's something about you," he shook his head. "We can go over the rules tomorrow night." He explained nodding his head towards Rosalie.
"No sex," I clarified. "I'm not agreeing to anything until I know just what I am getting myself into. Either way, tomorrow night is a no sex night." I explained narrowing my eyes at him.
"Whatever you say," he leaned over to open my door. "Goodnight Isabella."
A/N: Alright, bring on the hate for this. I know a lot of you are disgusted with the FWB type of relationship. However, this is the direction this story is taking. It is how the Edward, Bella relationship forms in my story. I couldn't think of another way to do it because of the way I am portraying Edward. He is very put together up front, well mannered, and all that jazz. But when he is behind a closed door it'slike he's a different person.
So therefore, Edward & Bella must get to know each other behind closed doors.
Anyways, let me know what you think. Next chapter is all about Edwards crazy rules, and negotiating. Stick around!(: