A/N: I'm sorry for not updating sooner. Between school and my computer going on strike, I had a little problem getting my chapters typed up let alone trying to post them. But, I'm back now. I think I am only going to update once a week. Classes are getting harder with bigger workloads and I don't want to overwhelm myself. If you are under 18, please don't read this story. Also, I don't own anything except the storyline. The great SM owns all things Twilight, but she is gracious enough to allow me to play with her characters. Enjoy!
Chapter 9: The Move
BPOV
The next two days passed with us packing and getting ready for our move. Jasper and Emmett packed Esme's clothes in boxes because Carlisle decided to have them donated to charity. The rest of Esme's belongings were packed and sent to a storage unit that Carlisle had in Hanover.
I didn't have much to pack since the majority of my stuff was in boxes already. After I packed what little needed packing, I walked to Carlisle's room and found him sitting on the floor holding a picture frame. I made my way to him and saw that the picture was of him and Esme on their wedding day. I sat next to him and wrapped my arms around his neck in a tight embrace. I couldn't help but wonder if he would ever get over losing his wife and find happiness again. We have been spending all our time together and I can feel myself developing feelings for him.
I've always cared for him, but this is different. It almost feels like love, but he could never love me in a way that wasn't familial. I never looked at Carlisle as a father figure; he was always just the man that I wanted as my friend. And since he has never called me his daughter I am pretty sure he doesn't see me that way. I want so much to help him heal and move on, but I don't want him to move on unless it is with me.
Yeah, that's not selfish at all. My mental ramblings piss me off sometimes. I know it is selfish, but I want him to want me. I want him to love me and I have to find a way to help him heal and move forward. I will find a way to heal his broken heart and get passed the grief. I will be the one that makes him smile and laugh and I will find a way to do this soon.
A knock at the door snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see Rose and Emmett standing in the doorway with sad smiles on their faces. We all loved this house and as much as it hurt to live here, we were all going to miss this place.
"We're all packed and ready to go. The mover's are loading the truck now," Rose murmured.
I nodded and released Carlisle, standing up and offering him my hand. He reached for my hand and stood quickly with the picture clutched to his chest. We walked out of the room slowly and made our way downstairs. Taking one last look around, I took a deep breath and followed my family outside.
Rose climbed in her BMW and Emmett made his way to his Jeep. I saw the moving crew loading the last few boxes in the truck before closing the doors and locking it. Carlisle locked the door and the two of us walked to his car while Jasper spoke to the movers and then he climbed into Alice's Porsche with the little pixie. Once I got situated in the front seat of Carlisle's Mercedes, we were ready to get on the road.
A few tears slid down my cheeks as Carlisle pulled the car onto the highway. I was leaving behind the town of Forks that used to be my own personal hell, but soon became my home. I felt as though I was leaving a part of myself here with my father. I missed him so much and I knew that I would miss him for the rest of my life.
Carlisle placed the picture he was holding on the backseat and then grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. I have become so dependent of him helping me deal with the loss of my father. My body was still covered in bruises and my ribs still ached, but that was a punishment I would take and accept because my dad was dead and so was Esme. I have three deaths on my hands. Three lives that could have been saved if I had just kept quiet.
Carlisle released my hand for a moment and reached into his pocket to pull out his ringing phone. He flipped it open and placed it to his ear just as a sob bubbled to the surface. I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't. It escaped and then more sobs came. The car skidded to a stop on the side of the road and I was suddenly in cold strong arms sitting in his lap.
"Shh sweetheart, it's going to be okay. We will get through this together," Carlisle murmured.
"It won't be okay. You should hate me Carlisle. Esme is dead because of me."
As much as I wanted him to love me, I knew he never could because I was the reason he lost his wife. I tried to move out of his lap, but he just held me tighter. I didn't understand how he could stand to look at me let alone touch me after what I did.
"Bella, look at me." Carlisle turned my face to his and wiped my tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Esme died to protect you. We would all die to keep you safe. And Bella, I could never hate you." He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around my waist.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried on his shoulder. When my tears finally ran dry, I raised my head and placed a soft kiss on Carlisle's cheek. Oh what would his lips feel like on mine? I looked around and noticed that my siblings were not with us.
"I told them to go ahead and we would meet them at the house," Carlisle answered my unspoken question.
I nodded and went to move out of Carlisle's lap, but he held me closer to him. I placed my hand on his cheek and he leaned into my touch. His eyes closed and I lifted my other hand and caressed his other cheek. I wanted to press my lips to his, but I couldn't think like that right now.
"Carlisle, I'm sorry for saying you should hate me. I know you don't blame me, but I can't stop blaming myself. I don't really know how to move past this guilt," I confessed.
Carlisle opened his eyes and stared into mine with such tenderness. He reached up and cupped my face in his hands and I had to stop myself from leaning forward.
"I will do everything in my power to help you. I'll never leave you and I will make you see that you are not at fault for anything. Edward did this to us. Please believe me when I say that you are not responsible for any deaths. I can't lose you Bella."
"You won't lose me Carlisle. I promise. I will stay with you for as long as you want me to stay," I vowed.
"Even if that meant for eternity?" He asked me.
My breath hitched and I wanted to believe that he meant that he wanted eternity with me by his side as more than just a friend. I thought about that for a moment and realized that I would spend eternity with Carlisle and my siblings. I just hope he wants more than just friendship.
"Yes. If you want me to stay with you for eternity, then I will stay with you. I won't leave you Carlisle."
Carlisle leaned forward and before I realized what was happening, his lips touched mine. The feel of his lips against mine was amazing. I found myself pulling him closer to me, hoping to keep his lips on mine. I never wanted to stop kissing him. I could kiss him all day if he would let me.
Carlisle's tongue swept across my bottom lip, begging for entrance which I eagerly accepted. Oh his tongue in my mouth was amazing. He tasted so sweet like honey and cinnamon, a mixture of the way he smells to me. Carlisle broke the kiss and started kissing my jaw and down the side of my neck, sucking on my throbbing pulse point.
"Oh Carlisle," I moaned.
"Mmm Bella, you taste so good," he moaned in return.
Carlisle's tongue ran up and down the column of my neck and he started nibbling on my collarbone. My head was spinning with the intensity of his lips on my skin. I could feel the wetness between my thighs and I'm sure he could smell my arousal. He moved his hands to the bottom of my shirt and then his phone rang, snapping us out of our lust filled bubble. I groaned in frustration and tried to slow my breathing down.
"Hello Alice," he spoke softly.
CPOV
"Even if that meant for eternity?" I asked her.
I wasn't sure why I asked her that, but as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized that I wanted her with me for eternity and not just as a member of the family. I never saw Bella as a daughter, only as a friend, but all this time we have been spending together has made me realize that I want more time with her. I want more than just friendship.
"Yes. If you want me to stay with you for eternity, then I will stay with you. I won't leave you Carlisle."
I don't know what came over me, but I found myself leaning forward and pressing my lips to hers. I thought she would pull away, but instead she pulled me closer. Kissing Bella was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. She was so warm and soft. I swiped my tongue along her bottom lip, hoping she would allow me to explore her mouth. When she granted me access, I plunged my tongue forward eagerly tasting her sweetness. Her taste was so much like her scent to me. A mixture of strawberries and freesia. I broke the kiss and started kissing her jaw and down the side of her neck, sucking on her throbbing pulse point. I wanted to keep my lips on her all day every day.
"Oh Carlisle," she moaned.
"Mmm Bella, you taste so good," I moaned in return. I could spend all day tasting her. I would never get enough of her. I knew I was developing feelings for Bella and I hoped it was not some sort of rebound or a way to deal with my grief. No. I knew what I was feeling for Bella was not a rebound or a result of my grief of losing Esme. I was truly starting to love Bella and I wanted her to love me in return.
I ran my tongue up and down the column of her neck and started nibbling on her collarbone. I could smell her arousal and it was tempting me to take her right here in my car. I moved my hands to the bottom of her shirt and then my phone rang. I growled in frustration and grabbed my phone flipping it open and placing it to my ear. I rested my head against Bella's shoulder while she tried to slow her breathing back down. I didn't even have to look at the screen; I knew who would be calling.
"Hello Alice."
"Carlisle, if you don't slow things down with Bella you are going to take her right there in the car."
"What have you seen?" I asked her without lifting my head from Bella's shoulder.
"Just trust me. Don't get carried away with her in the car. She's not ready for car sex just yet, but she will be," Alice giggled.
I shook my head, "I trust you Alice. Thank you." I ended the call and tossed my phone on the passenger seat.
"She saw us?" Bella asked softly.
I lifted my head and looked into her eyes. "Yes. I'm sorry for kissing you, it was an inappropriate time."
I saw the hurt wash across her face and I wanted to slap myself.
"Then why did you even bother kissing me Carlisle?" She moved to climb off my lap again, but I couldn't let her go.
"Bella look at me." I grabbed her chin and turned her to face me. "You misunderstand. I very much wanted to kiss you. I want nothing more than to kiss you again, but I don't want to rush you or lose you."
"You won't lose me Carlisle, but maybe we should take things a little slower. I don't want you to regret anything with me. I also want you to be certain that starting something with me is what you really want. I know you are still mourning the loss of Esme. It's only been a few days."
"I would never regret anything with you and I think taking things a little slower is a good idea. I was ready to make love to you in the front seat of my car," I admitted before I could stop myself. "I will always miss Esme and she will always have a special place in my heart, but I very much want to see where this goes with you Bella."
"I want to see where this goes with you too Carlisle."
Bella leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine, but pulled back before I could deepen the kiss. She smiled the most beautiful smile I have seen on her face since I met her. I felt myself returning the smile and it felt good to smile again. I'm going to have to ask Alice what she has seen with me and Bella. I wrapped my arms around the beautiful woman in my lap and held her to my chest. A few minutes later her breathing evened out and her heart rate slowed down. She had fallen asleep in my arms and I very much wanted to keep holding her, but I needed to get on the road again or we would never make it to Hanover.
I got out of the car and walked around to the passenger door with Bella cradled in one arm. I laid the seat all the way back and placed her on the seat and carefully buckled her seatbelt. I already missed having my arms around her. I placed a blanket that was on the backseat over Bella and went back to my side to get in. After I closed the door and buckled my own seatbelt, I reached over and grabbed one of Bella's hands. I pulled the car back on the road and my phone beeped indicating a text message.
I mentally slapped myself because my phone was under Bella. I released her hand and carefully moved my hand behind her and quickly found my phone. I didn't want Bella to wake up thinking I was trying to feel her up while she was sleeping.
'Get a room and her some dinner. She won't sleep well in the car' – A.
'I'll get us a room in Seattle' – C.
'You'll need to get a room tomorrow night too. Bella won't be comfortable in the car for 47 hours straight' – A.
'Thanks Alice' – C.
'No rolling in the sheets tonight' – A & J.
I rolled my eyes and placed my phone in the cup holder and headed towards Seattle. Two nights alone with Bella, oh the possibilities. No, I couldn't get ahead of myself. We could spend the time talking and getting to know each other and maybe do some more kissing. I looked over at Bella and knew in my heart that I wanted to call her mine in the near future. And from the way she kissed me in return, I am pretty sure she wants to me mine.
I knew that Esme would want to me move on if she ever died for we had spoken about this after we got married. I would like to think that I knew her well enough to know that she would be happy for me and Bella. I just hope that our future is full of happiness, but I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of Edward. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts because I truly do not want to think about my first companion, my son. That Edward is gone and was replaced with someone I never wanted to see again and I would rip him to pieces if he ever tried to touch My Bella again. My Bella, I like how that sounds.
A/N: I hope this chapter was worth the wait. I'm going to work on posting updates every Sunday for this story and for The Change Within. Next chapter will be Carlisle and Bella getting to know one another while they have privacy. Let me some love!