A/N: ugh i was hoping this would be longer but w/e

tw: one character almost commits suicide, platonic sister love, unwanted/unexpected pregnancy

this is a bit of a prequel to my one-shot about Batstar and Littlefur, which you can probably find in my one-shot book c;

"I made a mistake."

The cat in the alley sighed. "A really big one."

The other cat, who was slightly smaller, tilted their head. "What mistake?"

The first cat gestured at her belly with one paw, beginning to look embarrassed. "I…um…me and Batstar…."

"Oh. Oh!" the other exclaimed. "Littlefur, really? You're expecting? That's great!"

"No, it's not! It's not great! I'm not supposed to be expecting, Mottleflower! Not with Batstar!"

Mottleflower sighed. "Still. It's kits, Littlefur. You'll be a mother soon!"

"But I don't want to be a mother! I never wanted to have kits!" Littlefur tilted her head back and wailed to the cold, starry sky above.

"Aw…" Mottleflower drew close to her sister. "Don't worry, Littlefur. I'm here for you. I managed to raise my little ones up just fine. I can help you."

Littlefur broke away from her sister, staring her straight in the eye. "Mottleflower, you don't get it! I don't want help! I don't want kits!"

"Littlefur, please!" Mottleflower pleaded. "Just accept it. You can't stop the kits."

Littlefur's orange eyes narrowed.

"I could."

It took Mottleflower a moment to register what her sister had said. When she did, she whispered one word.

"No."

"Yes."

"No. No, Littlefur. I won't let you."

"Then I'll just have to let myself. Catch me if you can!" Littlefur yowled, turning and leaping into the air. She dug her unsheathed claws into cracks in the brick of the building and began ascending.

"No!" Mottleflower shrieked, scaling up after her sister. "No, Littlefur, don't! What about the kits?"

There was no reply, but Mottleflower thought Littlefur hesitated for a heartbeat before speeding up.

"Littlefur, please, don't!"

The small she-cat was almost at the top of the building now.

"Littlefur, I beg you! Don't do this!"

"I'm sorry, Mottleflower. But I have to," Littlefur snarled as she clambered onto the roof of the building. I have to.

"Littlefur, think of the kits, and Batstar! Yes, I know you never wanted kits, and I know you're going to have a real time raising them, but it's worth every second. Raising kits, being in love, even just living. It's worth it, Littlefur. Please. There's so many reasons to stay," Mottleflower panted as she crawled onto the roof of the tower.

"What reasons are there, then? Tell me some," Littlefur hissed.

"The…" Mottleflower looked up at the sky. "The stars, and the moon. And sunsets and sunrises, and the fresh air of the morning, and the smell of the forest, and all your Clanmates, and, and…so many things, Littlefur. So. Many. Things. Please don't. I'd never be able to live without my favorite sister."

Littlefur was silent for a moment before muttering, "But I'm your only sister."

Two heartbeats passed before Mottleflower lightly tackled her sister, beginning to laugh in spite of herself. "I know, you furball, and that's why you're my favorite. You're the best sister anyone could have. Now come on." She rolled off of her sister, smiling.

"Let's go home."

Littlefur gazed at her for a moment and thought.

She thought about Batstar, and her unborn kits, and the stars and the sunrises and the sunsets, and she knew in a heartbeat that it wasn't worth it.

Nothing was worth it. Nothing ever would be.

She dipped her head. "Alright. I'll come."

Mottleflower exhaled with relief. "Thanks, little sis. I love you."

"I love you too, big sis."

a/n: this is a little serious for me but

everyone struggling through each day, week, month, year: you're awesome, and you deserve to be happy. please stay here.

there's so much for you to do with your life.

*insert heart symbol*