Chapter 2
Jane couldn't get back to sleep. His thoughts were numbed but running around in circles. He had never had a nightmare this vivid with thoughts and feelings. It felt more like a memory than a dream. It made him shudder.
Dawn had crept in while Jane had been deep in his dark thoughts and Lisbon started stirring. He thought about hiding the dream and the effect it was having on him, however he had promised Lisbon that he wouldn't keep any secrets. He would tell her later in the evening, no reason to spoil Lisbon's day straight from the start.
He should have known better. Lisbon woke up and stretched like a cat waking up from a satisfying nap and her eyes slowly opened up, her mouth ready to form a smile. When she saw his face, she stilled and quickly looked around the room in old reflex to assess any threats before settling down on Jane.
"What's wrong?" she asked with raspy voice which was surprisingly alert. Her dark eyes were clear from sleep and her obvious worry swam at the front.
Jane sighed and nuzzled closer as he tried to hide his eyes while confirming that Lisbon indeed was alive and well.
"Had a bad nightmare," Jane whispered into her hair.
"Want to talk about it?" Lisbon asked calmly although inside her unrest was slowly stirring. Jane hadn't had really bad nightmares for some time now and she could tell he was seriously upset about this one. However knowing him, it would be an uphill struggle to get him to divulge all the details if he didn't want to, although she was quite familiar with most of his nightmares by now.
Jane held her tightly, drawing comfort from her warm presence while he thought about his response. How could he tell her what he had done and how afraid all of the sudden he was of himself. Had he suppressed something that was surfacing or was this some residual worry for Lisbon and his subconscious was just using Red John as the most easily accessible monster? He needed more time to think about this and dissect his own brain.
"I will tell you about it, but maybe later," Jane's response came muffled by her hair.
Lisbon acknowledged this by a strong squeeze and a quick kiss on his cheek. Then she untangled herself from Jane and made her way to the shower leaving him lounging in the bed, looking at her retreating back.
"I know you are staring," Lisbon threw over her shoulder while a mild blush rose on her cheeks. She still hadn't gotten used to Jane's admiring gaze and in private he definitely showed his appreciation very openly.
"Yes, I am," came Jane's reply with the large grin evident in his voice.
Lisbon didn't turn around but entered the bathroom while leaving the door ajar as an invitation. She was rattled more than she wanted to admit and wanted to give Jane the option to come to her for comfort as she knew if she pressed or forced him in anyway the stubborn man would do exactly opposite. She sighed in frustration but then heard the bathroom door click shut and strong arms encircled her from behind.
She looked into the mirror to see Jane gloriously naked with a mischievous glint in his eyes although vulnerability was lurking in the shadows.
"Shall we save on the water bill, dear?" he asked before marching laughing Lisbon to the shower cubicle and closed the door to Lisbon's giggles. They were going to be late for work. Again.
XXX
Jane was pottering about in the kitchen, while Lisbon was getting ready for work. He had thrown his suit on and combed his wet curls with his fingers and was ready to go whereas Lisbon took longer. Jane had been delighted to learn that the tough, no nonsense Agent Lisbon was as girly as the next woman when it came to getting ready in the mornings.
He fought with the temptation of dragging her back to bed every morning as she stood in her underwear contemplating what to wear. Her complete lack of understanding how gorgeous she looked just added to the allure and sometimes Jane just gave in. But not today.
Today he was glad that it was their usual routine that gave him space so that he didn't need to withdraw from Lisbon to be able to focus. He was still rattled by the nightmare and the feelings it had raised and he wanted to lie down on his sofa at the FBI office and mull over the meaning of it all.
He absent mindedly brewed his tea and prepared Lisbon's coffee and rummaged around in the cupboard to find two edible muffins. They didn't really have time to sit down as they were going to be late as Lisbon had pointed out to him already twice. Although she had been smiling at the time, Jane fondly mused.
XXX
Lisbon appeared in the kitchen to find Jane staring at a muffin with a slight smile on his face. At least he seemed to have recovered whatever it had been his brain had cooked together this time.
He turned as she approached handing over her coffee and a muffin.
"I can drive while you have your breakfast," Jane innocently offered.
Lisbon snorted in amusement. He never gave up.
"I know how you drive and I'm quite capable of eating while driving thank you very much," Lisbon answered as usual to the request.
Jane just smiled and opened the door for her and they trekked through the little garden to her car. The domesticity of it all still made her breath catch in her throat and she did a quick turn, surprising Jane and kissed him quickly.
"Thank you," she whispered before continuing towards the car.
Jane was momentarily stunned as Lisbon was not one for public displays of affection, not even in such a secluded place as this little garden. It made him feel better though as there was no way he could ever hurt her, the dream must have been just a really vivid nightmare, made up of randomly firing neurons in his brain.
His step was springier and lighter as he followed Lisbon down to the car and he smiled widely back at Lisbon as he strapped himself in.
XXX
The binoculars were lowered down once the vehicle disappeared from view. Fingers tapped a number onto a cell phone and when the connection was made a voice uttered: "The memory consolidation seems to be finally taking hold."
"Continue."
TBC