Please note the big rating change to M for this chapter for sexual content! If this isn't your cup of tea, I suggest you read until they are in the bedroom (obviously) then skip to the very last line. Or request a chapter summary. Enjoy!

"Buenos días, mi amor. I bring tidings of pizza and caffeine!" House lifted said items high above his head triumphantly as he entered Wilson's hospital room two weeks, three days, twelve hours, seven minutes, and forty-nine seconds after he came to his senses. Wilson looked up and smiled as he set the pizza and coke on the younger man's food tray.

"You do realize it's nine thirty in the morning, right?"

"Of course. That's what the caffeine's for," House gave him a 'duh' look. Wilson rolled his eyes, but grabbed a slice of pizza anyway as House opened the box.

"So when are you finally gonna let me out of this cube of insanity?" Wilson questioned before taking a bite of extra cheesy goodness.

"Hey, I don't like you being here anymore than you do," House replied, his mouth already full of food. Wilson swallowed his before continuing.

"Well, you must. It's been over two weeks. I'm fine. In fact, I'd be a thousand times better if I could just go home," he complained.

"Oh, don't get all weepy. I'm discharging you this afternoon. You get out of your 'cube of insanity', and I get off work early. It's win – win," House announced jubilantly. Wilson would swear House was waiting until he'd taken the biggest bite of food possible to talk.

"Let me guess, Cuddy put you on clinic duty, and you decided that I'd make for a better patient then a whiny five year old with a stuffy nose," Wilson raised his eyebrows in anticipation of House's answer.

"Yep," House answered simply, taking a drink of his Coca-Cola.

"Hate to break it to ya, man, but I am a terrible patient. Remember the first you treated me, back in my intern days?" Wilson questioned, a smirk beginning to form on his sauce-stained lips.

"How could I forget?" House rolled his eyes with a smirk of his own. "I've never seen a whinier appendicitis patient in my entire career!"

"Hey, now, let's not get insulting!" Wilson defended.

"You were screaming like a little girl," House retorted.

"My appendix ruptured! You try having an organ explode inside of you and see how quiet you are about it!"

"Bet I'd be calmer than you," House responded childishly.

"Are we seriously having this argument?" Wilson raised only one eyebrow this time.

"Are we seriously having this argument?" House mocked him jokingly.

"House, quit that," Wilson complained. He hated this game. His brother always did this to him when they were kids. James could think of nothing more annoying.

"House, quit that."

"Stop acting like you're five!"

"Stop acting like you're five!"

"I mean it!"

"I mean it!"

"This is ridiculous," said a resigned Wilson.

"So's your face!" House mocked.

"That's it. No more 'Scrubs' for you," Wilson pointed a finger at House authoritatively as he spoke.

"You'd prefer I go naked in the operating room?" House questioned with fake density.

"You know what I mean," Wilson took another bite of pizza. House followed suit.

"Oh, by the way, mom found a new place, and guess who gets to help her move?" House said with fake excitement.

"Um, her newly pain-free and limber son?" Wilson replied.

"If by 'son' you mean you, than yes!" House smirked.

"Uh-uh. I don't think so. I'm still weak from the dialysis. You, on the other hand, have been running and exercising more than an Olympic gold medallist. She's all yours, killer," Wilson took a drink.

"I knew this no pain thing would come back to haunt me," House pouted. "Then again, maybe I'll invite the Scooby gang. I'm sure Cameron would just love to see me flexing my sexy guns." House flexed his right arm to exaggerate his point. Wilson gave a short laugh in response.

"You'd better watch out, stud. You don't wanna make the Australian angry. Those guys have deadly wild beasts on their side," he warned sardonically.

"Ooh, yes! How could I forget about those bloodthirsty kangaroos and man-eating koalas! How ever would I survive?" House asked in fake panic.

"You wouldn't. I hear those koalas'll take the skin right off you if you get too close," Wilson shrugged and took another bite of pizza.

"Damn it!" House cursed.

"Hey, you've still got Foreman," Wilson took a drink.

"Forget that. I can't let him know where my mother lives. She has a lot of nice jewelry," House said in a thoughtful voice.

"Are you seriously implying that after becoming a doctor and make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, Foreman is still robbing people?" House raised his eyebrows in response. "I guess it makes sense. Neurologist by day. Evil ninja super villain by night. He spends the midnight hours prowling the streets of New Jersey; robbing little old ladies of their bunion cream and denture glue!"

"Now you're just being ridiculous," House shook his head condescendingly as he took another bite of pizza. Wilson picked up the pen the nurse had left on the nightstand and threw it at him; hitting him directly between the eyes. "You're gonna pay for that one," House warned.

"Yeah? And just how do you plan on making me?" Wilson challenged. House grinned the most seductive grin the oncologist had ever seen, and he suddenly noticed his hospital gown was becoming increasingly tight. His smirk never wavering, House stood from his seat and leaned over so that his lips were barely brushing Wilson's ear.

"Tonight I'll show you as soon as the front door closes," he whispered slowly. Wilson's eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of warm breath on his skin. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed that feeling. Pulling back slightly, House switched positions and brought his head over to where he could meet Wilson's' lips; kissing him slowly but deeply.

"Um, House, if I could borrow you for a second?" Wilson instinctively tried to pull away at the sound of Cuddy's voice, but House reached up with his right hand and held the younger man's head steadily in place. At the same time, he stretched his left arm out behind him and held up his pointer finger, giving her the 'one minute' sign. Cuddy let out and audible sigh but said nothing. Instead, she leaned against the doorway and averted her eyes; staring at the floor, the walls, the ceiling, her watch – just about anything but the two men in front of her. Once House was satisfied that he had pushed both Wilson and Cuddy's patience and dignity to the brink, he slowly released his best friend's mouth, keeping his bottom lip trapped between his for as long as possible before resuming his 'seductive whispering' position once more.

"Until tonight," he murmured cheesily with an even more malevolent smirk on his face. Wilson never opened his eyes. House then stood up straight and turned to face Cuddy, never losing his self-satisfied expression. "Now, was there something you needed?" Though she tried her damnedest not to, his boss couldn't help but smile.

"Need a consult," she answered vaguely.

"Duty calls," he grinned at Wilson, who had finally opened his eyes. Leaning down once more, he gave the younger man a quick kiss then turned to follow Cuddy out the door.

"This had better be good. I was getting my romance on back there!" House complained three minutes and fifty-two seconds after they'd left Wilson's room. Cuddy said nothing, but instead turned and handed him a single sheet of paper. "What's this?" he questioned, obviously confused.

"I had a few tests done yesterday. Just got the results this morning," she was having an extremely hard time keeping the smile off of her face.

"This is a pregnancy test," House told her needlessly, continuing to examine the neatly printed words on the document. "A positive pregnancy test. You're pregnant." The older doctor failed miserably in keeping the absolute shock off of his face.

"Congratulations, daddy. The artificial insemination worked," woman was practically beaming as she spoke. House thought her eyes might have been glistening and attempted to change the mood quickly.

"Oh, no no no. It's you who should be congratulated Dr. Cuddy. Just think, in eight and a half months, you're going to have a mini me to terrorize you at home as well as a normal sized me to do so at work. You'll be institutionalized by the third year, tops," he smirked deviously. Cuddy's face fell.

"Oh, dear God, please let it be a girl!" she prayed under her breath.

"Won't make a difference," House shrugged. "I can corrupt a girl's mind just as easily as a boy's. Actually, you're probably making it easier. Little girls are always more attached to their fathers than boys. It's a scientific fact."

"You just had to ruin this for me, didn't you?" Cuddy glared.

"Would I be me if I hadn't?" House answered. Cuddy gave a small grin to show that there were no hard feelings, but she still had an overwhelming urge to get him back for ruining her mood.

"You're right, House. But what's that? I think that's the sound of snotty nosed clinic kids calling for their favorite cantankerous physician!" she exclaimed as dryly sarcastic as possible. "You'd better hurry before their overbearing mother's suffocate them with affection and concern!"

"No way! I'm not scheduled for clinic duty until noon!" House argued.

"Well, seeing how I run this hospital and, therefore can schedule everyone's clinic hours to my liking, get your ass down there and work, or I call your mom and she'll get to take Wilson home while you work in the clinic for the rest of the day," she grinned even more deviously than he had just moments before.

"Fine. You may have won this round, but I'll be back, mysterious stranger. And when I return, I shall make sure that your death is prolonged and painful," he squinted his eyes in a ridiculous emphasis.

"Goodbye, House," Cuddy's voice urged him through the door.

"See if I ever loan you my sperm again," he murmured under his breath as the door closed behind him. Cuddy simply smirked and got back to her work.

"Home sweet couch!" Wilson sighed almost orgasmically as he flopped carelessly onto their living room couch six hours, twelve minutes, and thirty-two seconds after House had left his hospital room.

"Don't get too comfortable. I haven't had a decent meal in weeks. You owe me," House commented as he tossed both of their jackets into the hall closet.

"Even if I actually felt like doing anything but lounge right here, what exactly would you expect me to cook with? I've been incapacitated for the past three weeks, and you haven't been away from the hospital in that time long enough to do anything but buy junk food from the shopping center around the corner."

"Ah, but you underestimate the power of my mother's crazy," House raised his eyebrows. "She stocked these shelves with enough food to feed a small country. Now get to work. I'm thinking something of the Mexican variety."

"Fine, but I get to pick the movie," Wilson reluctantly agreed, rising wearily from his comfy seat and heading purposefully toward the kitchen.

"But you always get to pick the movie!" House whined childishly.

"Ha!" Wilson laughed. "When was the last time you even let me touch the remote?"

"See, now that isn't fair. How am I suppose to argue when you go and get all technical like that?"

"I'm sure you'll find a way. You always do," Wilson grinned. Although Wilson didn't see it, House grinned back.

"Remind me again why we're eating on the bed?" Wilson said in an exasperated voice as House returned with seconds one hour, seventeen minutes, and thirty-four seconds later.

"The TV's bigger and the seating's more comfortable. What more could you ask for?" House replied in a 'duh' tone of voice.

"How about not having crumbs all over where I sleep," Wilson suggested.

"How about moving in with my mother? Then you'll never have to worry about that again," House responded dryly.

"I thought your mom was moving out tomorrow."

"Nah. She decided to go ahead and move today. Lucky for you."

"And you actually helped her?" Wilson was impressed.

"Nope. Hired professionals to do it for me." Wilson was no longer impressed. They sat in silence for eighteen more seconds before Wilson suddenly smirked widely and turned to face House.

"You know, if I moved in with your mom, that'd make me your daddy." House turned to face him in kind, intending to scowl but ending up erupting with laughter. Wilson immediately joined him.

When the laughter ended, their eyes locked, and both men found it impossible to look away. Leaning in slowly, House touched their lips together lightly, relishing in the feeling it sparked inside him. Wilson responded ever so slightly, obviously enjoying the feather light contact. House grinned and slid his left hand slowly up Wilson's chest, then to the back of his neck, and finally ending up tangled in Wilson's thick, dark hair. He then placed his right hand on Wilson's leg, just below his thigh, and guided it slowly upward, feeling Wilson twitch as he passed his crotch, and let his hand slide underneath the younger doctor's shirt. The kiss barely broke as he swiftly lifted James' shirt up and over his head while James returned the favor in kind. Once they were both shirtless, House pulled away slowly, catching Wilson's bottom lip between his as he did and letting it slide languidly from his mouth. Leaning back slightly, House took in his soon-to-be-lover's appearance and smiled. Wilson's face was blushed from the heat of their bodily contact and a bit of stubble burn. He kept his eyes closed still as if opening them would break whatever spell they seemed to be under, his lips were moist and swollen, and his hair was mussed beyond recognition. Thinking back, House could not recall another time he'd seen James Wilson lose control so completely, and knowing he had done that to him made it that much sweeter.

But when his gaze traveled below the younger man's head and neck, House's heart sank. That nasty little parasite's disease had certainly done a number on his friend. He'd lost a lot of weight – a good ten or fifteen pounds from what House could see. He was much too thin now. His body was still recovering from a huge shock. Near death can cause all kinds of unsightly side effects. House knew this from experience. Letting his eyes continue downward, he spotted the faint line of the old appendectomy scar and raised his right hand to trace it lightly.

"I missed you," he whispered softly, leaning back in to capture Wilson's mouth passionately; letting the kiss say what he could not. He knew it was a cliché, but he had to go with what worked. And judging by Wilson's reaction, it had worked very well. Before they knew it, pants were flying through the air, and boxers were lost somewhere within the sheets. Then all that was left was each other, and God did it feel good. Why had they waited so long for this?

"Ready to make good on your promise?" James questioned between kisses, sliding his left hand down to grip House's waist. House simply nodded in response, remembering their conversation that morning, and turned his attention to the younger man's neck. Wilson threw his head back instinctively, allowing an involuntary moan of pleasure to escape his lips as the hand on House's waist tightened its grip spasmodically. Both men were, of course, completely erect by now, and with one short thrust House brought their throbbing cocks together, biting down on Wilson's shoulder as the pressure in his penis increased tenfold at the simple touch. They both were moaning, unashamedly, then; rocking back and forth against each other, in a slow and steady rhythm.

"House, please," Wilson begged with a rumble in his voice that House had never heard before. "I want you. Uh, God! I want you inside me now."

House was happy to oblige. Wordlessly, he wrapped the younger man's legs around his waist. Trailing a line of lustful kisses down his sternum as they continued to rock in time. Wilson reached up eagerly to grab his shoulders, perfectly trimmed fingernails digging into the diagnostician's scapulas. Moving swiftly, House managed to pull one arm away to reach into the top drawer of his nightstand. Feeling around blindly, he almost sighed in relief when his hand came in contact with the small plastic tube he'd placed their that morning. Reluctantly pulling his other hand away, House squeezed some out into his hand and applied it quickly, literally aching with anticipation. Shuddering with ecstasy, House brought both of his hands down to grip the younger man's hips and roughly held him in place, looking James straight in the eyes to confirm that he was ready. Seeing the answering he was looking for deep in the depths of Wilson's vast eyes, now turned black with by euphoria, Greg pushed inside of him. Capturing James' mouth in a bruising kiss, Greg bit down hard on the young man's bottom lip to help distract him from the pain. Despite his efforts, Wilson still let out a shocked cry, but House quickly swallowed it for him, turning it into a groan of unimaginable pleasure as he began to move. It was slow going at first as he gave his friend the chance to stretch out and get use to the foreign feeling of another human being inside of him. As the man gave his nonverbal consent for continuation, House let James set the pace, not wanting to hurt him.

The oncologist kept their pace slow for a while until House's cock found just the right spot. Wilson's entire body shuddered at the phenomenal new feeling, and the pace swiftly sped up. Panting harshly, the two men rocked roughly back and fourth, making noises in their throats that neither of them ever knew they could make. James could instinctively feel House was getting close, and the feeling overwhelmed him completely. He could feel his own cock beginning to leek pre-come as a small warning, so he wrapped his legs tighter around the other man's waist, crossing them behind his back, tore his left hand away from House's shoulder and wrapped it around his own penis. Holding tightly, he let his hand match the rhythm of their bodies and thought he might die from the anticipation.

House threw his head back and yelled something inaudible as he finally came, and that was enough for Wilson. The sound of Greg's exhilarated screams combined with the feeling of his warmth spreading inside of him, James came with a cry of his own just as House collapsed on top of him. Wilson wrapped his arms around him as they both they still, panting like out of shape race dogs. House returned the favor, rolling over so that the so recently sick man was lying on top of him, and sighed contently. He could definitely get use to this feeling – a feeling that only a couple weeks ago he was certain he would never get the chance to feel. He took the silence that had overcome them as an opportunity to memorize every detail – every touch, every sight, every taste, every scent, every sound. He committed it all to memory as if he had found the cure for cancer. House never wanted to forget how he felt at that moment. It was that feeling he'd been longing for all his life. It was a feeling of belonging. And he would allow nothing, NOTHING, to spoil that moment for him.

"Cuddy's having my baby." Damn it.

House, no! What were you thinking? Ruin the moment much? Hey, guys, don't blame me. Like I could ever tell House what to do!
Next chapter: Cuddy's doing what? And Wilson discovers that his troubles aren't over yet...not by a long shot!