Another long chapter. More kogan...

I don't own BTR.

After what happened Logan felt as if he were different somehow like losing his virginity had changed him. He felt like he was happier now because of it and he knew that Kendall was the reason why. When he woke up he almost wondered whether it had even happened, or if he had just dreamed the whole thing. He'd had dreams about Kendall before but they'd never been that vivid.

Logan wondered if when he went into the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror, if there would be any physical signs that he had changed. When he stood in front of the mirror and stripped down he realized that on the outside he pretty much looked like the same modest fourteen year old boy. There was really no way that you could tell just by looking at him that he was different. But he could still retrace all the places on his body that Kendall had kissed him, from his lips to his jawline to his neck, down his chest all the way to below his waistline, and that seemed like proof enough to him that he was a different person now.

He noticed his body still hurt from the physical strain that came from having sex for the first time, mostly his bottom but his muscles in his arms and legs hurt too. Logan remembered how last night Kendall told him that it was supposed to hurt the first time you did it and he supposed that was just because it meant that your body really was going through a change. Maybe that was what they meant by growing pains.

Logan was interrupted when he heard his brother knocking on the door. "I'll be out in in a minute!" he called out, turning on the shower. He knew he had to be quick because James always got pissy if he cut into his morning bathroom time.

He showered as fast as he could but apparently he still wasn't as quick as James would have liked, because the taller boy was waiting outside the door when he stepped out with his arms crossed. Logan sighed. "I know, I know. I'll get out of your way."

"Jeeze, what were you doing in there anyway?"

"Showering," he said. Like it wasn't obvious.

"No, I mean why'd you wait until now. How come you didn't shower last night?" he asked. Because that was what Logan usually did, since James was a bathroom hog in the mornings.

"I was tired last night so I went to bed early."

"Well now we're both gonna be late to school because the bus already left and you have to wait until I'm done if you want a ride," he said, patting him on the back before brushing past him into the bathroom.

Logan shook his head, not surprised at all that he couldn't bear to cut down fifteen minutes of his morning routine just to get to school on time. Logan wondered if people who thought that they were actual brothers looked at the two of them and wondered if James just got all the good genes in the family. What most people didn't realize was that it took time and effort for James Diamond to look like James Diamond.

Logan wasn't in any particular rush to get to school anyway but he did want to get there soon enough so he could talk to Camille about what happened. The car ride to school with James was spent like most of their morning car rides were spent, making small talk and catching up with each other.

"So how was the movie last night?" Logan asked him.

"It was alright. Didn't really watch it though if you know what I mean," James said.

Logan raised his eyebrows and James just smirked.

"Well I'm glad you guys had fun...Kendall came by looking for you," Logan said. He felt his cheeks redden just by mentioning his name.

"He did?"

"Yeah but only for like a second though. He left after like five minutes," he lied.

"Did he say what he wanted?"

Logan thought back and remembered that he never did. He shook his head.

"Oh, well hey, I was thinking you and I could do something this weekend. Maybe on Saturday."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, maybe we could go to the mall and check out the new laser tag place."

Logan crinkled his nose at the suggestion. "James I'm too old for laser tag."

James looked at him like he was genuinely shocked. "What are you talking about? You love laser tag."

"I used to, maybe when I was ten."

"How can anyone be too old for laser tag?" he pondered out loud.

Logan couldn't help but smile. "You're just saying that because you want to go really badly." He knew James was just trying to make up for the fact that he hadn't really been making time for him lately. So he decided he'd be willing to do whatever it was James wanted to do since he was making an effort. "I guess I wouldn't mind going just this once."

James reached over to ruffle his hair. "It'll be fun Loges. Just like old times."

Logan looked out the window when he realized they should have gotten to school already. He noticed they were in a random neighborhood he didn't recognize.

"Why are we here?" he asked.

"Oh I promised Lucy I'd give her a ride too. She might be a little ticked off since we're late..."

James parked the car in front of a house and then the dark-haired girl appeared, clad in her usual black leather jacket and doc martens. She had her arms crossed over chest and James was right, she did look ticked off. "You do realize classes started fifteen minutes ago," she said.

"Hey it wasn't my fault," James said.

Lucy opened the car door and climbed in the backseat. "You mean you didn't spend twenty minutes alone just on your hair this morning?"

Before James could respond Logan came to his defense. "Actually it was my fault we were late this morning. You shouldn't be mad at him."

"You remember my little brother Logan right?" James said, gesturing to the younger boy appreciatively.

Lucy sighed, and smiled. "Yes. Hey Logan."

"Hey," Logan said.

Lucy leaned forward over the seat to give James a quick kiss. "I'm not mad. It's just that I have Spanish first period and Senorita Gomez is a bitch. She'll give me detention if I'm late again."

"Sorry babe. I'll find a way to make it up to you," James said.

Logan sunk down lower in his seat. Whenever he was around Lucy and James this was usually the point when he realized he was the third wheel and sort of tuned out of their conversation.

"So my parents and I have been talking and they know you and I've been together for a while. And they want to meet you," Lucy told him suddenly.

"They do?"

"Don't worry they're gonna love you. I mean you're clean-cut, no tattoos and no piercings, nothing like my last boyfriend. I was thinking we could do it this weekend. Before my concert we're all going out to eat..."

James looked confused for a second before he got a completely guilty expression on his face. "I totally forgot we had plans this Saturday. Logan and I were supposed to-"

"Don't worry James. We can reschedule," Logan said quickly, to spare him the trouble of having to choose between the two of them. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle hearing what James would have chosen if he hadn't.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah it's fine. You guys had plans before we did."

"Well you should come hear Lucy's band play sometime. They're really good," James said.

"Yeah you should," Lucy agreed. "I can get you in for free."

Logan just smiled and nodded politely. Angry girl rock groups weren't really his thing, but then again he didn't really think they were James' thing either. Either Lucy really was changing him or being in a relationship just had him completely whipped.

When Logan finally did get to school and he finally got a chance to talk to Camille, he ended up not telling her the whole truth about last night. He told her that Kendall came by and the two of them had kissed, but he lied and said that that was all they did. Logan still wasn't sure if what happened was a good thing or a bad thing and until he figured that out he wasn't going to tell anyone about it. He realized that it was a good thing if it meant that Kendall felt the same way about him as he did. And it was a bad thing if James ever found out about it.

"You're being awfully quiet," Camille said. They were sitting together at lunch at their usual table and so far Logan had yet to share his big news with her. "Didn't you say you had something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I did?"

"Yes, something about a certain blonde hockey god..."

"Oh that."

"So are you gonna tell me what happened?"

Logan nervously turned his gaze down to his plate of potatoes and Camille sighed.

"I want to tell you it's just, I'm not sure what it means yet. And I'm kind of scared to find out," he said.

"Then let's talk about it hypothetically," she suggested.

"Okay...hypothetically. Say you were with a boy and he kissed you. And it was your first time and he knew that you were nervous about it. So he was really sweet, and gentle about it. You know, because it was your first time."

"Oh my god, you kissed him!"

"Shhh! Yes, hypothetically, we kissed. So what does that mean, if he took my...lip-virginity."

"Well, it probably means he likes you. At least enough to want to kiss you. Have you talked to him at all today?"

Logan shook his head. "I'm kind of afraid to. What if he doesn't like me as much as I like him?"

"Don't be ridiculous Logan. How are you ever gonna know if you don't talk to him? You have to tell him how you feel." Camille thought about it for a moment before she came up with an idea. "Do it at the game on Monday night. You know he'll be there and afterwards you guys can talk."

"Okay." Logan nodded. It seemed like a good enough idea and waiting until Monday would give him just enough time to think about what he was going to say. He would just have to avoid Kendall until then, he supposed.

Kendall was standing in the hallway behind a corner, obscured from view of James and Jo who were currently conversing about five yards away from him. So maybe he knew it was a bit childish to be spying on his girlfriend and his best friend, but this was the only way he could find out what went on between the two of them when he wasn't around. Unfortunately he wasn't standing close enough to hear what they were saying over the hallway chatter of his peers. But it looked like they were arguing about something which Kendall found to be very suspect.

Kendall sighed when he remembered he needed to get to his locker before the bell rang so he gave up and just went to get his books. But when he made his way over to his locker James spotted him and cautiously approached him. "Hey..."

"Hey," Kendall said, without looking up at him.

"So, umm, Jo said she talked to you. Look man, about that kiss-"

"It's fine," he cut him off.

"No it's not. It shouldn't have happened and I should have told you about it. I'm a terrible, horrible friend."

"James I'm not mad, really. It's fine."

"Dude seriously?"

"Yeah. I mean we're even now so everything's good." Kendall shut his locker and threw his bag over his shoulder.

"Thank god." James let out a relieved sigh. "Wait, what do you mean we're even?"

"What?"

"You said we're even. What does that mean?"

Kendall shrugged casually. "It means nothing. It's just a figure of speech. It means I'm over it."

"Okay...well, what should I do about my problem?"

"What problem?"

James groaned. "You know, what I told you this morning about Lucy wanting me to meet her parents? I swear you never listen to me when I tell you things."

"I don't even get what you're so worried about. Lucy wanting you to meet her parents is a good thing," he said.

"It is?"

"Yeah it means she's basically ready to let you seal the deal. You just have to get through her parents first."

"Well that's great I guess. But Lucy's parents are super strict. What if I screw things up and they don't like me?"

"You won't," Kendall said.

"Well, what if I say something stupid?"

"Okay you probably will. But Lucy'll be there and she's smart so she'll know how to help you. All you have to do is sit there and look pretty, smile and agree with whatever she says and try not to talk too much."

James nodded. "I think I can do that. Thanks man," he said.

"Hey James," Kendall called out, stopping him before he could leave. "Umm, just so you know, this means she serious about you."

"Yeah...so?"

"So, if you're not serious about her this would be the time to back out. You know, maybe if you were confused and thought that you might have feelings for someone else..." he baited.

James looked at Kendall strangely, and pondered what he said for a second. "No, I'm good."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I really like her. And just so you know, it's not just about 'sealing the deal' as you so eloquently put it. She's a cool person and I like being with her."

"Oh...okay."

Kendall wasn't sure what to think now. James had put it so simply it almost seemed like he was telling the truth. All the signs Kendall had seen so far were telling him to just get over it and trust his best friend.

Then why did he feel like punching his head through a wall when James and Jo got assigned to work together as partners during history class. Why did it bother him so much whenever they were alone together.

Kendall decided to just take James' advice and channel all his feelings into Monday night's game. Not that he would need to, since they were playing against Jefferson and they'd never lost a game against them. But playing hockey was the one place where he could vent all of his frustrations in a physical way and not get in trouble for it. So Monday night's game was exactly what he needed.

Hockey was sort of a big deal in their town. At least in their school district since it was the only sport that got them any recognition. So the night of the game the arena was pretty much packed. Logan didn't realize until halfway through the second period of the game that he and Camille were sitting only a few rows down from Kendall's ex, Jo and another blonde girl who he didn't recognize. He didn't notice them until he overheard Kendall's name mentioned in part of their conversation.

"I don't even know why I'm here. Kendall doesn't want me here," Jo had said.

Logan knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but once he heard Kendall's name he couldn't just not listen. And they were sitting so close to him so it wasn't like he could just turn his ears off.

"Because Kendall doesn't dictate where you can and cannot go," the other blonde had said, who he would later learn was Mercedes. "And besides, maybe James wants you here."

"That is so not funny." Mercedes laughed and Jo groaned. "Kendall barely even talks to me now because of James and whenever we do talk we just fight. I don't know what to do."

"My advice is to just wait it out. He'll come around eventually. But he's kind of a stubborn asshole, no offense."

Jo sighed. "I guess I don't have a choice if I want him back."

Logan frowned. It sort of put a damper in his plans if Jo was trying to win Kendall back. Logan turned to his best friend to see if she had just heard what he did but she was too preoccupied with freaking out over the game like everyone else was. Normally Logan would have been too but he had too many other things on his mind.

They ended up winning the game, 6-1, which was cause for a celebratory dinner even though it had been an easy win. James and his friends usually went to Anthony's Diner for pizza after the home games whenever they won. He and Camille waited outside the rink them to come out after they finished changing and getting cleaned up.

"Alright I'll meet you guys there. I gotta make sure my brother and his friend get home okay," James said. Lucy, Jo, Mercedes, Kendall and a few other people were standing with him.

"I can take him home," Kendall said, surprising everyone. Including Logan. "I was planning on heading home anyway."

"You're not going out to eat with us?" Jo asked, disappointment evident in her tone.

"I'm kinda tired.."

Logan didn't know why, maybe it was just him being childish, but he felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the fact that Kendall had just chosen him over Jo. But he tried to hide it as best he could and act like it wasn't a big deal. Logan realized that it was finally gonna happen, he was actually gonna tell Kendall how he felt. There was no way to avoid it now.

Although Camille was going to be with them so that slightly changed things. "What are you doing?" he asked her.

Camille had pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number. "I'm calling my mom," she said. "Hey mom...yeah I'm at the rink...no, I do need a ride. Can you come get me?...Okay thanks. I'll see you in a bit."

"You didn't have to do that," he told her.

"Yes I did. You don't need me around cockblocking you. Now go, he's waiting for you."

"Are you coming?" Kendall called out from the other side of the parking lot.

Camille winked at him and nodded for him to go. Kendall was putting his gear and his gym bag in the trunk of his car when he approached him. For some reason Logan felt nervous but he kept telling himself he had no reason to be. Kendall obviously offered to take him home because he knew they needed to talk about what happened. It had been three days since it happened so this moment was overdue.

"Hey..."

"Hi."

"Um, good game tonight. Congratulations," Logan told him.

Kendall slammed his trunk shut and turned to face him. "Thanks Logie."

"So how come you didn't want to go out with them?"

He just shrugged. "I don't know, not really in the mood I guess... Don't you ever get tired of hanging out with the same people all the time?"

"Not really.."

"Well, in a couple of years you might be singing a different tune," Kendall said, stepping closer to him. Close enough that Logan could tell that his hair was still damp underneath his beanie from his shower. Logan blushed trying his best not to picture Kendall in the shower.

"Jo seemed pretty upset when you said you weren't going."

"Yeah I don't really want to talk about her," Kendall said.

"Oh, sorry."

They were silent for a moment. Logan wrapped his arms around himself just as the wind started to pick up.

"Are you cold?"

He nodded. "A little bit."

"I have another jacket in my car if you want it," he said, turning around to open the car door to reach inside. He pulled out a larger jacket and turned to the brunette and secured it around his shoulders. Logan felt something flutter in his chest at the gesture, being wrapped in something that belonged to Kendall. "Better?"

Logan leaned forward and kissed him while he was close, sort of impulsively. He just felt the need to be close to him again. He wanted to feel the same way he'd felt the first night he'd kissed him. But when he pulled away and Kendall didn't react immediately he wondered if maybe he shouldn't have done it. "Sorry I just...thought I was allowed to do that now," he said sheepishly.

Kendall was only silent for a moment before he smirked, taking him by his jacket and gently pressing him up against the side of the car. He leaned down and kissed him, slipping his tongue in past his lips. Logan parted his lips gladly to allow him to deepen the kiss. They separated only when they realized they both needed to breathe. "You can do more than kiss me," he murmured. And Logan felt himself shiver again, but this time it had nothing to do with the cold.

Kendall opened the door of his car again and Logan got the hint, scooting into the backseat pulling the blonde inside with him. It was a bit cramped but Logan was able to fit lying down on the seat with Kendall on top of him. Once they'd gotten situated Kendall attached his lips to Logan's again and resumed kissing him, pressing their hips together making Logan groan.

When he felt Logan's hands reaching for his belt buckle, Kendall broke away from his lips and said, "Are you sure you want to do this here?"

"Yeah. It's okay," Logan said.

"I know this isn't really the best place for us to do this...I'd take you someplace better if I could."

Logan smiled. "I don't care. I just want to be with you," he told him.

Kendall had to force himself not to go aww at Logan's sentimentality. He didn't know why but it kind of turned him on whenever Logan acted all sweet. "Okay stop talking like that or you're gonna make me puke," he said.

Logan giggled. He made quick work of unbuttoning his pants and sliding out of them and then slipping off his boxers. He then took Kendall's hand and took three of his fingers into his mouth and sucked. Then he waited patiently while Kendall stretched him, which started to feel good almost right away. Kendall unbuckled his belt and slid his pants down halfway, lining up at his entrance, reminding Logan to relax while he eased inside of him. This time when it hurt it wasn't as bad because Logan had been expecting it and in a weird way the pain made him excited because he knew what would come afterwards.

Having sex this time was a lot less romantic than the first time when they did it, mostly because they were in the backseat of a car in the middle of a parking lot. The first time they did it Logan had felt like Kendall was making love to him. This time it sort of felt like love, but also just like satisfying a need to get off, which kind of made it more fun.

It also went by a lot quicker than the first time. Kendall came before he did and Logan didn't realize how close he was until Kendall leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Come on Logan, come for me," while he simultaneously jerked him off. The next thing he knew his orgasm was ripping through his body while he shot his cum into Kendall's hand.

Kendall peppered him with kisses while he came down and steadied his labored breaths. "That was hot..." he murmured.

Logan felt his face heat up even more if it was possible. "I don't think I've never been called hot before," he said.

"Well you are. And adorable," he told him, gazing down at him adoringly. Logan didn't know what to say. Somehow Kendall had managed to make him feel like he was really wanted by somebody, and not just because he had to be with him. Logan wished he could just stay there with him like that forever.

But then he realized they were still in a car parked outside and it was twenty degrees outside. "Kendall..."

"Yeah I know, it's fucking freezing. Let's get out of here." Kendall pulled his pants back up while Logan felt around in the dark for his own clothes. There was a brief moment they just sat beside each other where Logan realized he could have told him what he wanted to say. But in the end he ended up chickening out and keeping his mouth shut.

The drive back to Logan's house was pretty much spent in silence. Logan wouldn't regret it until much later that he'd never gotten the chance to tell Kendall what he wanted to. But there was something else on his mind that had been bothering him so he brought it up after they were parked in front of his house.

"Kendall can I ask you something?" The blonde turned to look at him. "When we first...you know. How did you know that I was..."

"What?"

Logan cleared his throat, trying to get the words out."That I'm...you know..."

"What? Gay?" Kendall finished for him. Logan avoided his eyes and nodded. "I don't know. Because I asked if you wanted to kiss me and you said yes?

"Are you worried about people finding out or something?"

Logan shrugged. "Nobody else knows. Except one person but she promised not to tell anyone."

"Not even James?" he asked. Kendall found this a little hard to believe but Logan just shook his head. "Why haven't you told him?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I get the feeling that he just wants me to be more like him."

Kendall sort of got what Logan was feeling because nobody really knew about him either. Not because he was afraid of what people would think of him, but because there were certain things about his private life he preferred to keep private. "Logan you can trust me when I say that you can tell James and he won't care. He loves you no matter what."

When Logan still looked skeptical he added, "Seriously, you should hear the way he talks about you. It's always 'Logan did this' and 'Logan did that'. 'Logan's so smart.' 'Logan placed first at the science fair'."

Logan laughed. Then he moved over to Kendall's seat so that he was practically in his lap. At first Kendall didn't know what he was doing but then the brunette wrapped his arms around him and he realized he was just hugging him. He whispered "Thanks Kendall."

Kendall slowly closed his arms around him, resting his chin on his shoulder. He found Logan's behavior to be strange sometimes. Mostly because he wasn't used to guys being so touchy feely with him. But Logan was different. He seemed all about the cuddling and hugging. Kendall thought that it might have had something to do with the fact that Logan was younger than any of the other guys he'd been with but he quickly pushed that thought out of his mind.

"Well it's pretty late. You should go inside," he said. Logan nodded and kissed him one more time before he got out of the car.

"Good night, Kendall."

"Bye," Kendall said, and then he drove home.

I have no good excuse for why this update took so long to come except that I totally suck. I won't make any promises about the next one. But I will promise this, lots more drama and lots more angst to come :)