Honor of the Heart
Chapter 4: The Secret Behind the Dreams
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, blah blah blah...I only own Akari, Saburo, Taiki, their mentor (and dog), and so on.
Akari's POV
Kakashi led us up to our room, which to my great relief, was absent of spiders and moldy walls. We were all going to sleep in the same one because then we'd be able to back each other up if there was an attack and it was safer for Chikara.
I didn't want to sleep.
In fact I feared it.
I hated how I fell victim to my own mind every time I closed my eyes, even when it became foggy due to lack of sleep.
Once we entered the room, Hatake started talking night shifts.
I immediately said, "I'll do it."
Everyone looked at me a little quizzically, with me realizing I spoke a little too eagerly. "I'm not that tired, and you guys look like you're gonna pass out, so..." I lied, smiling.
Hatake was the only one to seem unconvinced.
Figures.
"In fact, I'll take the whole night shift! I'm really not tired. You guys just sleep soundly."
Taiki smiled back at me. "Okay, if that's what you want. Goodnight, Akari-chan."
I nodded. "Goodnight, Taiki-kun."
Saburo eyed me suspiciously.
I tensed, sending him a smile. "Goodnight, Saburo-kun."
"Night." He grunted, though I didn't think his suspicions subsided.
I sighed in relief. The moon rose up into the midnight sky like a glowing, bright sphere. It gave me comfort somehow. A sense of familiarity washed over me from watching it, like it was an old friend.
Then it hit me.
My mother had always loved the moon, staying up with me to gaze at the peppered stars and pointing at the distant planet, telling me there was a face singing in it. At first I saw nothing but spots, but as I focused more I could still see the patterns of a face, singing away like it always did.
"The moon lights your path when you can see nothing else. The stars are burning souls watching over you and act as your cheerful guides. Even in darkness, there is light. You can always find your way, Akari, no matter where you are. And you're never alone."
She spoke those words to me when I was little and afraid of the dark. I wanted to hear them once more, just one more time. But I knew I couldn't.
Hours passed and somehow I was still awake. I glanced around at everyone. Taiki was sleeping soundly, a peaceful expression on his countenance. I envied him.
Saburo looked...like he was half-asleep and half-awake, which was probably true. Chikara was snoring, which assured me he was deep asleep. And then there was Hatake.
I had no idea if he was sleeping or not. Probably not and keeping his mind alert in case of an attack.
It sort of reminded me of a time when we were on a mission in the war together...
"No, don't remember those times, Akari," I mentally told myself, shaking my head, "It'll do nothing but make you depressed."
The war caused me to grow up early. I was forced to mature at a rapid pace if I wanted to survive. I had to think like an adult, even if I was just a couple of years younger than I currently was. Children that were capable of fighting joined Genin, Chuunin and Jounin alike to increase numbers. The Sandaime Hokage was against it, but there was no other option. The first time I killed was the first mission I received after I'd been recruited.
After taking a life, there was no going back.
And on that day, I'd taken...so, so many. The sad part is, it wasn't even on the battlefield.
I pulled out a small photo from my shorts pocket. It was a picture of my father, mother and I.
Stroking the photo with my thumb, I sighed and looked up at the moon. I wondered if my parents were up there with the other stars, watching over me even now.
"Mom...dad...I wish you were here..." I murmured, old wounds reopening again.
Hugging my legs to my chest, I stared back up to the pale-colored glowing planet that somehow managed to give me comfort. Soon enough I felt my eyes grow heavy with sleep.
"No...I can't fall asleep!" I shook my head once more, trying to knock out my fatigue.
"I can't go back there...to that place...I can't watch everyone die again for me..."
I hadn't even realized I'd spoken aloud. "Agh...why do I always end up...falling asleep?"
My eyes drifted shut, waves of lethargy sweeping over me.
Normal POV
Akari fell asleep when it was nearly through the night, the photograph gripped tightly between her fingers.
Hatake shifted, sitting up as if he'd never slept at all and was wide awake. The Jounin had overheard the words Akari accidentally murmured aloud, bitterly relating to her dilemma.
"She and I apparently share more in common than I realized."
Noticing she hadn't succeeded in her task, he sighed.
"Always overdoing it...geez..." He thought, getting up to walk over to her.
The silver-haired ANBU member couldn't recall a time since she entered the Academy when she wasn't pushing herself past her limits to the point of utter, complete exhaustion.
He realized she looked quite peaceful when she was asleep. When she was conscious and aware, she always looked like she had to prove herself strong and capable as a shinobi.
Kakashi was about to consider waking her when he spotted the picture clutched tightly around her knees. Angling his head, he saw it was her and her parents.
"It's amazing how much someone can lose in one night..." He trailed off, a familiar weight emerging from inside him.
Shrugging it off, the silver-haired jonin gently moved her onto her back, placing a blanket over her when she began to shiver. The redhead promptly snuggled into the material, relaxing in its warmth.
He sat down and remained alert. "You've done your share for the night, Akari. As the leader, I should be able to do at least this much."
Kakashi craned his neck to eye Akari once more. She was now curled up underneath the blanket, her expression still looking innocent and at peace with the picture in her hands.
"Try and have a good night's sleep..." The Jounin said, his single visible onyx eye leaving Akari's form.
He knew it was better for him to stay awake, his own nightmares hadn't faded yet.
Rin's horrified countenance persistently haunted his dreams - his mind. Her murmuring his name, only to grow enraged at what he'd done, how he'd killed her in cold blood: the one she loved, plunging his hand through her chest, blood splattering everywhere.
Hatake lied down, resting but still aware of his surroundings. Yes, it was far better to stay awake the rest of the night.
He couldn't have Akari, Saburo and Taiki seeing him wake up in a cold sweat and appearing terrified. It would rattle the entire team's trust, especially their faith in his strength and competence as a leader.
The moon gleamed down pale rays through the shades, accentuating his silvery hair as the stars seemed to grow a little brighter.
No One's POV (Dream)
Akari opened her eyes to realize she was standing in the playground in Konoha, wearing a light yellow dress lined with green. The swings creaked once in a while, pushed by the recurring winds and the grass rippled like waves in the ocean. The air smelled heavy of flowers and an overall freshness she'd smell whenever she was at the playground.
It was quiet and vacant.
The redhead actually relished the silence. It wasn't as horrible as her usual dreams, at least. They were a torrent of noises, crashing down on her in their horrid chaos.
But she was expecting a twist soon. Something that would plummet her into the cold, dark abyss of reality and memories. So Akari refused to let her guard down, glancing around anxiously.
It was then she noticed part of her hair was pinned behind her, twisted into an elaborate braid.
"Akari."
An all too familiar cheerful and airy voice cut through the calm and quiet like a thrown kunai.
The said girl whipped around to see a head full of long, dark brown almost black hair framing a lovely face with fair skin and pale lavender eyes. Akari felt her throat go dry as her heart hammered in her chest. Blood pounded against the redhead's ears while she struggled for words.
"E-Etsuko..." She finally replied, her voice unsteady.
Etsuko was smiling softly as she spoke. "Akari-chan, thank you for being my best friend."
The Hyuuga's smile was radiant and beautiful - a smile Akari envied, missed and loved.
She was taken aback. "Etsuko...you're welcome. I've missed you - I've missed you ever since that day. And I'm...I'm so sorry."
Crimson stains bloomed through Etsuko's kimono-based shirt. She clutched at her chest in agony, her face contorted in pain.
"WHY?! YOU LIAR!" The Hyuuga wailed, staring back at her best friend with her Byakugan activated. The veins surrounding her eyes bulged. Suddenly Akari could smell the choking, burning scent of smoke mingled with corpses.
Horrified, Akari sucked in a breath, stepping back.
"Why did you let me die?! Why didn't you run away? Why did you have to fight back?" Etsuko cried, limping forward.
The scenery behind her began to melt away, bursting forth winds filled with lung-burning ashes and embers. Flames devoured buildings as fresh blood soaked the ground.
The Nara across from her shut her eyes, unable to look any longer.
"I...I had to protect Konoha! It's my home, and I was ready to die for it!" She answered, fear and guilt causing her voice to quiver.
Blood dribbled down from the battered Hyuuga's pale lips, staining her shirt even further. "I thought...I meant more to you than duty..."
Tears pricked Akari's lashes, appearing as small pearls glittering in oncoming darkness.
"No, I can't go through this again. Not again!" She sobbed as the screams suddenly erupted, a jumbling of head-piercing sounds.
The earth trembled immensely from the approaching Kyuubi, the haunting face of Etsuko still staring at her in disappointment and heartbreak.
It was horrific, to keep seeing the dear Hyuuga's mangled form.
"Akari."
"NOT AGAIN!" The genin screamed.
The Next Day
"No...stop...please!" A faint voice whimpered, sounding pitiful and breaking the serene morning silence.
Hatake roused from his 'sleep'. He'd kept his mind aware throughout the night, just like he had intended. But that did not prevent a flash of Rin's death appearing from behind his eyelids.
He went into the bathroom quickly, trying to wash his hands of the blood he never seemed to be able to get rid of. Returning to the bedroom, he quietly crouched beside Akari.
Her face was twisted in terror with her eyebrows knitted together and perspiration causing her rose-colored hair to stick to her face and neck.
Wrenching in her sleep, it looked as if she was fighting something. "No...please...don't die!"
Akari's voice was desperate and weak.
"I'll...I'll kill you! You stupid fox! I'll make sure..." She trailed off, hatred evident in her face.
Kakashi sighed. "I guess she didn't have a pleasant sleep...again..."
Shaking her shoulder, he attempted to rouse her out of her nightmare. "Akari, wake up."
This time, unlike before, she responded less violently without pointing a kunai at his face.
Akari jolted awake, sitting up with a gasp and panting hard. Her hands were gripping his sleeves tightly, nails digging into the material, and her watery amethyst depths conveyed her undeniable fear. Kakashi couldn't help but think how similar it was to how he awoke every morning.
After a few seconds she snapped out of it. "Oh...I fell asleep again."
Realizing she was still clutching Kakashi's arms, she let go and recoiled, beginning to wipe the sweat off of her brow. "Thanks for waking me. Again."
"Not a problem. We wouldn't want your fellow teammates freaking out now, would we?" Hatake replied, noticing her hands were pale and trembling.
"Yeah...we need to stay focused on our mission. Chikara's safety comes first. Did you keep watch the rest of the night?" Akari's voice had stabilized, and her eyes hardened.
She played with a strand of vibrant-colored hair to keep her mind occupied, though he noticed her slender fingers still uncontrollably quivered.
"Yeah. But it was nothing I couldn't handle." Hatake replied.
"I'm sorry about this. I didn't mean for you to see the sides of me I'd rather keep hidden. It must be uncomfortable."
Kakashi shrugged. "I don't really mind. Everyone goes through trauma. But this is going to be a problem if it keeps happening every time you fall asleep. Eventually they'll find out."
The redhead looked at him, her eyes full of determination. "Not if I can help it. For this mission, do you think that maybe...you could place me under a genjutsu?"
The silver-haired Jounin stared back at her in surprise. "Genjutsu? Are you sure?"
She nodded. "If I'm under a genjutsu at night, I won't be able to sleep and experience the nightmares, but I won't be awake either. And then in the morning all you have to do is release it, and they won't find out. At the same time, it'll seem like I'm sleeping. I'd release it myself, but while in the genjutsu I won't be able to tell whether it's night or day."
Kakashi pondered on it, then sighed. "I suppose. We'll have to be careful about when we perform the genjutsu, though. If they discover our plan, questions will surface. And we can't afford our teamwork to become unstable during this mission. We must work efficiently and cooperate in order to get Chikara home safely."
Akari nodded in agreement. "I know."
There was a pause before she added, "Thank you, Hatake. I'm sorry to put this on you."
Studying her face, the jonin realized she was probably angry at herself for needing such assistance.
"It's fine. Since it helps keep this team together, I don't mind. But you should tell them soon. They deserve to know, even if it makes them worry."
Akari smiled. "What I'm doing is for the best. Sometimes ignorance is bliss."
"Well, it's none of my business as long as it doesn't affect our mission." Kakashi shrugged.
"That being said..." The redhead grinned evilly, stalking over to Saburo.
She crouched down next to his ear, summoning a clone to crouch down to his other ear.
Sucking in a breath, she shouted, "WAKE UP SABURO!"
The black-haired genin jolted awake, nearly jumping out of his skin. Akari bursted out laughing, causing Taiki and Chikara to wake up as well.
"Geez, you stupid wench! It's too early for pranks!"
Immediately over at his side and grabbing his shirt, the redhead glared at him so intensely Chikara felt faint. "What was that, brat?"
"Now, now, Akari-chan! Please don't harm the one we're supposed to protect from harm." Taiki warned drowsily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
Akari released the shaken Chikara with a huff and crossed her arms. "Fine. It's not like I was actually gonna hurt him."
"Hah! Yeah right!" Chikara retorted.
Kakashi stood up, glancing at each of his subordinates. "We should get a move on now, or else we'll waste daylight."
They all nodded in agreement, leaving the inn. Before completely parting, Kakashi spoke to the inn owner and bowed, thanking her for their stay.
"Finally! I'm closer to getting home!" Chikara said eagerly.
"Yeah, and I finally won't have to put up with your temper tantrums." Akari added.
Just as Chikara was about to spit out a retort, Kakashi returned. "Alright, let's move. Don't want to wait around for something bad to happen, right?"
"Why do I feel like you just jinxed it?" Taiki asked rhetorically, a shiver rattling his spine.
"Well, no use dwelling on it! Let's go, team!" Akari announced, dragging her teammates ahead with Chikara and Kakashi close behind.
"Hey, Akari-chan! You're choking me!" Taiki gasped, clawing at her locked grip on his neck.
"Idiot, release me, Akari!" Saburo snapped, also struggling to worm out of her arm that was hooked around his neck.
"Come on, let's go~" The Nara cheered, filtering out their desperate pleas.
"-Knock it off! What did I just say?!"
"Those three are weird. Well, Taiki-niisan is fine, but those other two..." Chikara trailed off despite the constant yelling of the three teammates in the background.
Kakashi looked down at the child, watching the backs of Akari, Taiki and Saburo. For a moment he saw his own team in them. A small smile crept onto his lips underneath his mask. The trio's voices were still highly audible.
"-Oh come on, what's the harm?"
"-What's the harm?! Akari your grip was so strong I thought I was being strangled! And you wouldn't let go!"
"You get used to them. Besides, I think you'll find that after getting to know them a little better, that you will respect all of them."
Chikara gazed at the ANBU member in disbelief as they left the town, then to the three young shinobi.
"-I did not! It's a normal thing to do, right? I see groups of friends do it all the time!"
"How do you figure that?" The young heir queried, quirking a brow.
"Because believe it or not, they're all willing to risk their lives for you if that's what it takes to get you home safely." The silver-haired Jounin answered.
"-Oh geez, would you shut up about it already?! I said I'm sorry!"
They heard Akari snap as she walked with her teammates, sticking out her lower lip in the form of a pout.
When they began bickering once more, Kakashi sighed. "But they require a lot a patience."
Akari turned to look at him, which surprised him to some extent. Slowly the redhead fell back to the ANBU's side, a desire to converse glittering in her gem-colored eyes.
"Hey, kid. Hurry on ahead, okay?" She told Chikara in a gentle but demanding tone.
He curled a lip. "Hey, you can't tell me what to-"
"Just go." Now her demand had become a request.
Chikara relented. "Fine."
Begrudgingly he jogged ahead to walk between Taiki and Saburo. Taiki welcomed him warmly while Saburo said nothing. "Hatake, I have a question."
"Okay, why don't you ask me instead of stating you have one?" Kakashi replied, pulling out his book.
Fiddling with her hands, she nervously glanced at him. "O-okay, so...I, uh, have this friend that has problems sleeping. He lost his parents on the night of the Kyuubi attack, and he thinks revenge is the answer. He also has nightmares, because he says that he saw their bodies afterward. So...I was wondering why he keeps having these nightmares - it's starting to consume him."
Hatake's eyes never left the inked pages. "Is she making up this story to indirectly ask me about her own nightmares? If she doesn't want to be straightforward, then I guess I'll just play along."
"Hmm, well, the human body has failsafes when something happens that's too much to handle. In your friend's case, he has recurring nightmares due to the overwhelming emotional trauma of seeing his parents' deaths. Other symptoms are insomnia, a psychotic break, amnesia, hallucinations, depression...the list goes on, but I'd rather not ramble."
Akari's eyes sparked with concern. "Well, I guess I should be glad that he only has nightmares. But what else is there? Something that might help?"
He knew she was hiding something. The nightmares probably weren't the only symptom the redhead was experiencing. Hatake was sure he caught her wide-eyed staring at nothing but empty space, blanching as if a ghost had come back to haunt her.
The Jounin should know-he once experienced it himself.
"All I can think of is that he's holding onto something. Maybe he doesn't want to forget their faces so his subconscious takes him back to when he last saw them, or because he blames himself for their deaths." Kakashi said.
She didn't realize the hardening of his eye, the way his jaw clenched as he spoke. His words hit too close to home for himself.
The redhead tensed, her jaw set and amethyst eyes averting the jonin beside her. "Interesting."
She then smiled, moving away from the White Fang's son. "Uh, thanks, Hatake. I'll be sure to tell him that. Maybe he'll finally be able to sleep well."
Hurrying past him, she easily caught up with her teammates as Kakashi appeared in the front. They formulated the defensive positions around Chikara again, with Chikara directly behind Kakashi, Akari and Saburo at his sides and Taiki behind him.
The Sharingan-wielding jonin craned his neck slightly to look at Akari, who seemed focused yet distant. She hadn't spoken in a while either.
"I must have hit a nerve." He thought, recalling when she tensed and hastily walked away.
He hit a nerve in himself, too. Joining the ANBU had hardly helped anything - in fact people started calling him cold-blooded for his merciless killings when faced with enemies. It was like he'd lost the balance in himself and his morals after...after Rin.
Little did they know about the shadows lurking close by, waiting for the opportune moment to strike the seemingly oblivious team.
"Is that the child?" A deep, gravelly voice asked.
"Seems like it. The daimyo's son." Another voice, this one much smoother, spoke.
"How cute, a team of three genin and a Jounin. Getting our hands on the boy will be easy." A feminine voice chuckled, dark amusement in her tone.
"Careful, we still don't know what they're capable of." Yet another male voice warned, serious and light.
"Relax, comrades. They're Konoha shinobi. If they can't even control their own Tailed Beast, then we have nothing to fear." The gravelly tone replied.
"Isn't that Hatake Kakashi of the Sharingan? We must be wary and cautious of our enemies. Let us wait and see how powerful they really are." The smooth voice insisted as the others silently complied.
Eyes gleamed in the trees, lips curling back into smirks.
"It will be interesting to fight against Hatake Kakashi. But rest assured, we'll get the boy, no matter the circumstances."
A/N: Okay, so that's it. Yeah, I know. "Where's the action?!" Hopefully next chapter. Please review, follow and favorite! They help me a lot, so tell me what you think! :) (Constructive criticism only) Credit must go to KRenee and my beta reader G-ChanSanKun because they've helped immensely :D