This took ages to write since I've been working on my LOTR/Hobbit blog lately...and also writer's block :P I hope you enjoy! And a great big thank you to the lovely nourss for beta reading this chapter! You're the bomb.

Fili's hands absentmindedly fumbled with the knots in the pony's mane as his eyes scanned the trees for the spot where Kili had disappeared into the forest over an hour ago. Just as he began to wonder how long it took someone to collect firewood, Kili's figure emerged from the brush and Fili's eyes quickly darted back down to his task, faking a look of absorbed concentration, though on the inside he felt immense relief. After a moment, however, his previous feelings of anxiety and anticipation returned.

He stole a quick glance as Kili was walking towards him and he noticed the hunch in his younger brother's shoulders. It concerned Fili and he momentarily forgot that he was supposed to be focused on the pony until Kili looked up at him. He felt somehow embarrassed, like he was naked and Kili could see straight through him, but he pushed the ridiculous feeling aside and assumed his usual cheery composure.

"I see your search for the firewood went well," Fili said, gesturing to Kili's empty hands just as the dwarf had opened his mouth to speak. Immediately Kili looked down as if surprised to find that he was carrying nothing, then cursing, whipped his head back to the patch of trees from which Bifur had just exited, holding a large pile of sticks.

"Uh, I…" Kili muttered.

"You do realize little brother, that wood comes from trees that are in forests?" Fili joked. Kili kept opening and closing his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then though better of it each time. Fili sighed and rolled his eyes, "What trouble have you gotten yourself into now?" he asked, suspecting that the younger dwarf had shrugged off yet another chore to go exploring instead.

"I'm not in trouble!" Kili blurted out.

Fili laughed at the childlike indignation. "At least not until Thorin finds out that you went off on another adventure; and without me too!"

"No! I would never go anywhere without you!" Kili said, suddenly seeming to realize how loud his voice had gotten and how close he was standing to his brother because he shut his mouth and took a step back, looking down at the ground.

Fili's heart skipped a beat but his brain told his anxious heart to calm down, that it had meant nothing. However, he could not deny his quickening pulse and the desire to hear Kili say those exact same words again, but whispered softly, entwined in one another's embrace. Blood flushed his cheeks and heat rushed through is entire body and Fili was grateful that Kili was looking at the dirt instead of him, because he felt quite certain that his face was bright red at that moment. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and asked what his muddled head thought was a normal question.

"Well then, what were you doing?"

Kili looked up and said simply, "I was talking with Bifur."

"You were talking…with Bifur?" Fili asked slowly, making sure he had heard correctly.

"Yes."

An awkward pause fell between the two brothers as they stared at one another in confusion, then finally realizing the implications that his previous statement had held, Kili stammered out an explanation. "Well, we weren't talking talking. It's more like I was talking and he was listening, which was a bit odd, honestly, but I think he's really got quite a bit going on up there, you know?" he said, and upon seeing Fili's raised eyebrows he added, "for having an axe in his head, I mean."

"Uh-huh…" Fili contemplated checking to see if his brother had caught a fever from being out in the rain all day. Kili often babbled on senselessly about absurd things, but he seemed rather on edge and nervous, which was unusual for someone who was always so confident and sure of himself, even bordering on being cocky sometimes.

For a split second Fili worried that Kili had somehow discovered his shameful feelings for him or had sensed his growing resentment for their uncle or possibly even both. His heart always leapt to the worst conclusion but his logic urged him to continue the conversation in as normal a manner as he possibly could, and maybe then he could discover for certain if Kili knew his secrets.

"So then, what did you two chat about?" he tried to ask smoothly, but his throat caught in his mouth and he coughed a little bit.

Kili became visibly tense. Fili saw his hands clench at his sides and his brow crease. Confusion was suddenly etched all over Fili's face and it rapidly turned to fear and worry, but at what he didn't know.

"Kili, what is it?" he asked quietly, taking a step forward and laying his hand gently on the other's arm. His heart sank when he felt Kili stiffen under his touch but stopped when their eyes locked together. The brothers stared at one another with the same hesitant expression and just when Fili felt like he couldn't look into the burning brown eyes any longer, Kili opened his mouth to speak.

"Fili, I-" he began but was cut off by Thorin's gruff and rather annoyed voice.

"Kili!" the voice barked and both boys started at the sudden interruption. They broke apart, standing awkwardly side by side while the entire camp's eyes stared in their direction. "Perhaps you can explain to me why I tasked you with collecting firewood and yet you have returned with nothing?" Thorin growled, only mere inches away from his nephew's face.

Kili stared fixedly at his feet, too ashamed to even glance up and all Fili wanted at that moment was to pull his baby brother into his arms and protect him from the rest of the world. But instead, he remained rooted to the ground, immobilized by his uncle's glare.

"Where is the usually quick-witted tongue of yours now, nephew?" Thorin asked, the malice in his tone making Fili's blood begin to boil and his jaw grind. "Have you no childish excuses for me today?"

"Thorin," Fili said warningly, taking a step forward, the low growl in his voice matching that of his uncle's.

The older dwarf's eyes snapped over to the blond, fixing their stony gaze upon him, "This does not concern you." he snarled. His attention switched back to Kili who looked more uncomfortable than ever, his hands curled up into fists, useless at his side as he observed the malicious exchange between his kin, appearing quite caught in the middle.

"Go help Balin so he can watch over you and treat you like the child you apparently wish to be…" Thorin said, and then turned his face away from Kili and Fili to the light of the campfire.

Fili was about to protest or shout or hit Thorin, anything that would retaliate for the blow their uncle had so skillfully and knowingly delivered to his nephew's weak spot, but he was silenced by the embarrassment and anguish in Kili's eyes. His brother looked stunned and hurt to be belittled by the king he so greatly admired. Fili began to reach out to catch his hand and comfort him, assure him that Thorin's words were untrue, yet Kili was already stalking away, ignoring the eyes of the camp that followed him. Fili watched his brother go and turned back to Thorin, a burning rage flaming in his stomach and the fire's reflection in his eyes.

Thorin sighed heavily and looked at him with remorse and guilt carved into every feature, making him look years older than he was, but the moment passed and again he assumed his kingly composure, leaving Fili standing by himself feeling as if his own fire would engulf him entirely.

Fili shuffled around his room, collecting things from drawers and stowing them neatly into his rucksack, unlike Kili who was hastily throwing practically all of his possessions to the growing mountain on his bed. Kili darted back and forth, still talking excitedly about dragons and goblins and orcs, but Fili wasn't listening. He sat down on his bed and looked around their shared bedroom, remembering all the moments of their childhood that had passed in the small space and he wondered if he would ever see it again. A hand ran through the soft furs on the bed and Fili gazed at his little brother, a deep sigh passing his lips for the millionth time.

'Just do it,' he thought to himself. 'Just get up and do it or you might not ever have another chance.' But his body remained exactly where it was, frozen in place. 'How can I possibly tell him?' he debated with himself. 'And what if he's disgusted or scared of me…what if I fail him as an older brother? Who else will he have? Who would he turn to? It would be all my fault, he'd never trust me again.' It was the same old argument and counterargument he'd had in his head a hundred times, and always it had the same outcome. Fili would debate himself from every angle, but each time he would remain silent, deciding it was better to stay Kili's protective big brother and nothing more, to stay as Fili and Kili instead of just Fili.

"Are you even listening?" Kili asked, gently pushing the blonde's head to pull him out of the trance. He looked up in surprise at Kili, suddenly torn away from all of his thoughts.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I said, what are you going to do with your share of the treasure?" he asked exasperatedly.

"I don't know," Fili said, shrugging his shoulders, "I guess I haven't thought about it much."

Kili flopped down onto Fili's bed and started laughing next to him.

"What?" Fili demanded, lightly punching his giggling brother's shoulder.

"You, the king of constant brooding and planning ahead, haven't thought about it much?" he said, still laughing and holding his sides.

"I do not brood!" Fili said defensively, which only made Kili laugh more. He went to shove his brother again but Kili caught his hand and pulled him on top of himself, then in one fluid motion he rolled over so he was sitting on top of Fili, pinning down his arms by his head. Fili squirmed and struggled underneath, but Kili was actually quite strong. The dwarf's hanging brown hair tickled his cheeks and neck, sending little shivers up his spine, but Kili seemed unaware of the effect he had on his brother because he was still laughing just as before, the same amused grin on his face.

"You're a terrible liar, brother." he chuckled. Their faces were only inches apart and Fili could feel the heat from Kili's breath and his constitution quickly breaking. With all of his strength he pushed his brother to the side and left him snickering to himself on the bed as Fili stood up and attempted to distract himself by packing again.

"And you're a great big brat." Fili said, stuffing items into the bag a bit more hastily than before.

Kili snickered from where he lay on the bed, then rolled over on to his stomach so he could see Fili crouched by a chest on the floor, sorting through its contents."I wonder what made Thorin change his mind?" he pondered out loud.

"What do you mean?" Fili asked, a momentary vision of Thorin's forge flashed through his mind, sparks flying from the red hot steel.

"Well, why did he suddenly decide that I could join the Company?"

Again, Fili shrugged his shoulders, his back facing Kili. "I don't know. Maybe he just had a change of heart."

Kili laughed, "That would certainly be a first for our uncle."

The room grew silent for a few minutes and all that could be heard was the shuffle of fabric as Fili folded clothes to be packed and Kili's slow steady breathing.

"Hey, Fili," he said. The older dwarf turned around and felt his heart suddenly tighten to the point of bursting. Kili was lying on his stomach, watching his brother through half-lidded eyes, their stare searing into him like a hot iron. His brown hair was a perfect mess from their wrestling, falling over his face in just the right places that made Fili's stomach do flips and his lips were slightly open with half his face nuzzled into the furs as he regarded Fili with a gentle expression. "I'm really glad I get to go with you."

"Yeah, me too, Kili." Fili replied a little breathlessly and their mouths broke into matching grins.

A fire blazed at the feet of the Company, making them feel exponentially more cheery, especially since the rain had stopped falling and they all held warm bowls of soup in their grasp. Fili sat a few seats away from Kili, in between Ori and Bofur, trying to appear as if he was greatly enthralled in Dori's story of how he had once attacked Nori upon mistakenly taking the shadow of his hair for some looming monster. Everyone around the fire laughed heartily, aside from Thorin of course, and Kili whose brooding eyes had not left his brother's face since sitting down.

It was taking all of his willpower to not continually glance at the younger dwarf, which Kili had apparently no problem with, seeing how he had done nothing but blatantly stare at Fili for the past hour. Fili wished Kili would direct his attention elsewhere because his entire body felt hot under observation and it was impossible to ignore Kili's intense eyes. While Fili was a bit more discrete in his emotions, his little brother had always worn his heart on his sleeve; every single thought that passed through his mind was clearly visible on his face and this time was no exception.

Through the corner of his eye Fili saw Bombur, who was seated next to Kili, point at Kili's bowl of soup and ask something, to which Kili replied by shoving the bowl into his hands and standing up. The Company regarded him with curiosity but before any of them could speak he silenced their questions by mumbling something about "going to collect more firewood," despite the sizeable, untouched pile still remaining. With a last burning stare at Fili, Kili turned and headed off into the woods alone.

Fili tried to appear just as baffled as everyone else and shrug off the looks they were giving him by saying, "It's just Kili being Kili."

Dwalin chimed in shaking his head, "That boy is as wild as a warg, and stubborn as one too" which left everyone around the fire chuckling at the boy's youthfulness, Fili only laughing halfheartedly.

Everyone was oblivious to Fili's internal struggle of whether to stay and pretend to laugh as if nothing were wrong or follow Kili and have to face a confrontation with possibly disastrous results. Everyone except Bofur. He gave Fili a sympathetic smile and looked in the direction of the trees where Kili had disappeared.

"Go after him," he grinned softly, putting a hand on Fili's shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, the dwarf gathered his courage and stood, using the excuse of helping Kili to disappear into the woods after his brother. Across the fire he saw Bifur give him a small nod as he left, which filled him with a distracted confusion, but it only lasted a moment before his mind was consumed by the desire to find Kili. He heard the voice of Balin telling a tale of a reckless and young Dwalin, followed by the roaring laughter of the dwarves and the smell of pipe weed from Gandalf's multicolored smoke rings as he stalked into the forest.

Fili trampled through the darkness, following the broken path he hoped Kili had taken, because losing your way in these woods at night would certainly mean a night spent lost and alone. Luckily, however, he heard the crunching of leaves not far off and soon enough Kili's sulking figure was visible through the brush.

Finally catching up to the younger dwarf, who was rather fast, Fili walked a few paces behind, smirking.

"Where are you off to now, brother?" he asked as he picked his way carefully through the woods. "You're missing a lovely story about the mishap that led to Dwalin's magnificent mohawk back in his younger days." he chuckled in a forced manner.

Kili turned around abruptly and his serious expression made Fili stop in his tracks.

"Why won't you look at me?"

Slightly taken aback at his forwardness, Fili lost a bit of the false smile he wore.

"I am looking at you."

"But you wouldn't earlier."

"You're imagining things." Fili said, beginning to walk again. "I think you must have caught a fever from all that rain," he joked nonchalantly.

Kili caught Fili's wrist and grasped it firmly, turning him so he could look into the other's eyes.

"I'm serious, brother."

"You truly worry yourself over nothing." he said, trying his best to sound convincing, but it just came out as tired. "After all, it is I who should be worried about you."

Kili continued to hold Fili's wrist for a few more moments, staring at him with a tortured, strangled look in his eyes. He finally let the elder slip from his grasp and watched the golden hair move into the shadows a few more paces before speaking again.

"You're keeping something from me!" he shouted into the darkness, desperately hoping to catch Fili's attention, which he did, for the dwarf spun back around and gaped at his brother.

"Me? What about you?"

"I -what? You think I'm the one keeping secrets!"

"Of course you are!" Fili barked back at Kili, moving to where his brother stood defiantly.

Kili scoffed in mock amusement. "Well I'm certainly not the one who's been acting cold and distant. You think I cannot see the way you pretend to laugh along with everyone else while something is clearly troubling you?" he asked, his icy tone cutting through Fili, but he refused to give in so easily. He deflected Kili's questions and searching glance effortlessly.

"And what about you, brother? Why could you not tell me what you spoke of with Bifur today if you have no secrets to keep?" Fili inquired, feeling satisfied by Kili's stunned expression as he searched for the words to say, how to reply.

"But, I – that's not fair!" Kili whined helplessly.

Fili almost wanted to laugh but he continued to wear his smug, victorious grin instead, sure that he had won their verbal battle. He had always been the better one with words. "Not everything is fair, baby brother. Now, what were you two talking about?"

"Nothing." Kili spat, frustrated at being bested in his own argument.

"Tell me!" Fili snapped, growing more and more impatient and annoyed with each second.

Kili crossed his arms over his chest and grinned down mockingly at his older brother who stood a few inches shorter than himself, obviously pleased to see Fili losing his temper. "No."

"Augh! You're such a child!" Fili shouted in Kili's face, then abruptly turned around and started walking back towards the camp and away from his enraging brother, only making it a few steps before he was tackled to the ground.

"Don't call me that!" Kili growled angrily as he wrestled with Fili in the dirt for dominance. The boys rolled on top of one another, alternately pinning each other down before the other would become even more incensed and force his way on top. They scrabbled in the dirt for power but neither would actually hit the other, not wanting to cause them true harm, but still fighting for the advantage.

Finally Fili allowed himself to be pressed against the earth while he gulped in air. He had forgotten that although he was usually the victor in battles of wit, Kili had always been better at the actual physical battles. The realization came too late and his face was flushed from the struggle as Kili sat atop him, pinning him down with all of his weight.

Both boys breathed heavily as they stared at one another and Fili felt regret washing over him as he looked into the deep brown eyes.

"I'm sorry Kili." he said quietly, his voice not more than a whisper. "I didn't mean it."

"I know…" Kili replied, still not taking his hands off of Fili's wrists, but loosening their grip.

"Any of it. You must believe me," Fili said pleadingly. "I never wanted to keep anything from you, it's just that,"

"What?" Kili asked, his eyes burning into Fili.

"It's just that I can't tell you. I'm the eldest; I'm the one who should be concerned about you. It's not fair for me to burden you with all my troubles." Fili mumbled, turning his face away.

"Fili," his brother said softly, "I would share everything with you."

Fili felt weak underneath Kili and his intense stare was breaking him down bit by bit, but still he resisted the collapse despite Kili's face being so close to his own, their breath mingling together. Fear and panic gripped Fili's heart when he suddenly realized that Kili was getting closer and his eyes growing softer as they looked at him, his parted lips moved towards Fili's own and the pair collided in unrefined passion.

Kili kissed Fili hard and for a few moments Fili's walls crumbled as he allowed Kili's tongue to enter his mouth, gliding over his own. A small, weak noise escaped his throat and he pulled away from Kili.

"No." was all he could manage to say.

"You don't want this?" Kili asked, searching Fili's face.

"No – I! I don't know..." Fili mumbled, completely confused as to whether he should listen to his screaming heart urging him on or his guilty head, desperately trying to pull him back.

"You're such a terrible liar," Kili chuckled, making Fili look up at him, wondering what could possibly be funny about this mess. "And now I know your secret." he whispered before pressing himself on Fili once more and this time Fili did not protest, but kissed him back roughly, letting the admonishments of his mind fade away as he melted into Kili.

Oh my god, Jane Eyre, get out of my head! There's fire symbolism everywhere in my writing now. Damn yooooou!