Sorry this chapter took me ages to write. I should really never attempt multi-chapter fics…I'm too lazy. But anyways, thanks to everyone who stuck around to read it (it's not over yet) and a super big thank you to my beta, ella-whispers-what for helping me out loads with my fics! This would probably still be chilling in my document files without her!
Thorin watched as Kili stalked off into the woods, then his eyes moved back to the spot Kili had been staring at the entire evening. He observed the interaction between his eldest nephew and Bofur suspiciously before Fili ran off after his little brother, not even taking half a moment to glance back at Thorin. The rest of the Company laughed without inhibition, but Thorin stared into the crackling, popping fire and wondered when it had happened. When had they stopped coming to him with their troubles?
He gazed long into the flame, so long that he didn't even realize the other Dwarves were preparing to retire to their bedrolls until Gandalf laid a large hand on his shoulder.
"I would not deem it wise to stare for so long," he said, sitting down next to his companion with a heavy sigh.
"Is this the counsel of a wizard?" Thorin asked, finally breaking his concentration.
"No," Gandalf said, raising his eyebrows, "it is the counsel of common sense."
A weak smile crossed Thorin's lips and he rubbed his chin in thought. The two sat silently for a few minutes, Gandalf taking puffs out of his long wooden pipe and Thorin continuing his pensive reflection before passing a hand over his face.
"How am I supposed to raise them if I never even know what's troubling them?"
Gandalf chuckled quietly next to Thorin. "I wouldn't worry yourself too deeply; not even someone as wise and as old as myself could divulge to you the secret of understanding youth."
Thorin sighed heavily at the truth in the statement, momentarily remembering his own whirlwind adolescence and wondering how he had managed not to get himself killed. He had been just as reckless as Kili and just as eager to fight as Fili.
"I sometimes fear my heirs have gotten the worst parts of me," Thorin muttered, more to himself than to Gandalf.
"Perhaps," Gandalf said, shifting his position to extract more pipe weed from the little pouch at his side, "you might consider thinking of them as your nephews rather than just as your heirs."
The words felt like a heavy blow to his chest and Thorin suddenly felt the weight of guilt bearing down on him, crushing him. He had begun to feel the gap between him and his family that seemed to grow wider with every single step he took towards Erebor turning into a cavernous trench he feared he might never be able to cross again.
"Although, I do not think that they have inherited the worst parts of you, no. Just your stubbornness." The wizard said with a wink. "You've done a fine job of bringing up your nephews; they're loyal, courageous, and above all they have good hearts. You need not worry so heavily about the future, for each day will bring what it will and all you can do is resolve the issue in front of you…and right now I think your nephews need an uncle more than they need a king."
"But how can I speak to them? Kili won't even look at me and Fili looks as if he would like nothing more than to annihilate me." Thorin forced his fists to unclench and he brought his hands up to his head to rub his temples, easing back the growing headache.
"You love your nephews, Thorin?" Gandalf asked lightly.
Thorin brought his hand away from his face to reveal serious eyes and a hard-set jaw. "Of course I do. No one could question that."
"Then you would accept them regardless?"
"What are you trying to say, Gandalf? Speak plainly." His head was already pounding too much to be able to decipher riddles, much less the riddles of a wizard.
Gandalf laughed at his impatience and clear lack of appreciation for lengthy, cryptic conversations. "What I am saying, Thorin, is perhaps your nephews share more than just a fraternal bond."
The king's brow creased in confusion, wondering if this was still another puzzle to be solved, but slowly the message of the words sank in and despite the fact that he was already seated Thorin felt like he might fall. A million thoughts crossed his mind at once and all he could say was, "How? How could they hide such a thing for so long?"
Again Gandalf chuckled, this time at the surprised and disbelieving expression on Thorin's face. "Ah, and that is exactly the answer." He reveled for a moment in the Dwarf's confusion before mercifully granting him an explanation, "You cannot hide what you do not know."
"So this is your decision?"
The clang of metal on metal that had filled the room fell silent.
"What decision?" asked Thorin, remaining with his back facing the visitor. He raised the hammer again and returned to bending the hot metal in front of him, blow by heavy blow. Red sparks flew with each collision like tiny fireworks that illuminated the king's face but left the rest of his body and his company in shadow as he worked.
"The one that tears me away from my brother!"
Thorin sighed to himself; he had been waiting for this. "Kili is too young for a quest so dangerous. He lacks experience."
Fili scoffed audibly behind him. "Experience? You would choose toy makers and cooks over the best archer in Ered Luin because he is too young?"
"Kili is but a child. He's not ready for this yet." Thorin answered with strained patience. He forced himself to focus on delivering the blows precisely, shaping the blade exactly the way he wanted.
"And when will that be? When will he be good enough for the King under the Mountain?" Fili spat at Thorin venomously whose shoulders tensed under the accusation. "Do you not see how hard he tries to impress you, to earn your affections? And you give him nothing!"
Thorin could feel his nephew's eyes boring into his back, drilling a hole straight through him.
"You say he is a child but that is because you lock him up like some animal that you can control, never giving him the chance to grow up! Look at me!" Fili shouted, flipping over the table next to him in one quick motion, bringing the tools that lay upon it crashing to the ground in a sudden clatter.
The demanding tone in Fili's voice was alien to Thorin; he had never heard him be anything but dutiful and respectful, aware of his position. He paused for a moment, savoring the fleeting feeling of working and being lost in work. Thorin gathered air in his lungs to calm himself before abandoning his forging and slowly turning around to face Fili. The look on the young Dwarf's face made the king's words stick in his throat. Shadows highlighted every angry feature on his beautiful face, the burning rage contained behind icy blue eyes threatening to spill over.
Thorin cleared his throat and stood up straighter, ready to defend his position. "I only want what is best for you and your brother and I have deemed that what is best is for him to stay behind."
"Liar." Fili growled menacingly.
"What did you say?" Thorin asked through gritted teeth.
"I said you're a liar. You don't want what's best for him or me or anyone in this kingdom! All you want is your gold and your mountain and your heirs!" Fili said, moving towards Thorin like a stalking animal. "You're only making Kili stay just in case I don't return. Luckily that way there will still be someone to carry on your legacy..."
The sound of Thorin's hand meeting with Fili's face rang out throughout the forge, leaving nothing but silence behind it. Thorin's hands clenched and unclenched by his sides as he stared in disbelief and fury at the Dwarf in front of him.
Fili's head hung low, his golden hair obscuring his face. Slowly he raised his head, bearing the bright red mark proudly as his eyes burned like the flames of a firedrake, staring directly into Thorin's.
"I would rather die than wear your broken crown." he said, his voice low and deliberate. "And if you force Kili to stay then I stay with him."
Thorin looked hard at the stern young boy, immovable in his position. How had this happened? This was nothing like the conversation he had envisioned in his mind with his reasonable, logical, admiring nephew that appeared to have disappeared entirely only to be replaced by this sharp-tongued lion. He stared at the boy with a cold concentration, his eyes searching for any weakness, any chink in his newfound armor. But he discovered none. There was not a single crack or opening to be found in Fili's hard-set jaw and unwavering stance, nothing but solid determination. Thorin had been defeated.
A heavy sigh passed his lips. "You and Kili are to leave tomorrow at sunrise."
Fili kept his eyes for a moment longer before turning and stalking back out the door without a word. Rooted to the spot in which he stood, Thorin looked at the scattered tools on the ground and then back to his half-forged sword that grew colder with every passing second.