Just like any other girl, Addison had daydreamed about her wedding. She had wanted it at the grand ballroom in the castle, covered in pink roses and gold tapestries. She had wanted her dress to have a huge skirt decorated in fine gold embroidery to match the decorations, and her hair to be left down and loose with a pink ribbon in it to keep stray hairs out of her face. She had wanted only her favorite dishes to be served, for it to be in the middle of the summer so the windows could be left open so the summer breeze blow in, and the finest orchestra in the land to play the music.
Her actual wedding was nothing like her dreams. The day she had dubbed 'Hell Day' started out bright an early with an innocent maid drawing the curtains back, which only made Addison scream in anger.
"Addison, dear, can you at least try to be kind?" Vivian said with a sigh as the princess refused to get out of bed.
"No, I can't. Fuck this, I'm not getting married." She spat, lifting her head from her pillow. Vivian was taken aback by this.
"You know that isn't an option, and I'd really wish you wouldn't use such crass language. Princesses don't swear like sailors." The old woman said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Now get up. I've drawn a bath for you."
Addison groaned as she pulled herself out of bed reluctantly. She walked over to the tub set up next to the fireplace to keep the water warm and pulled her nightgown off. She sunk down into the hot water with a content sigh. She missed showers, they were quicker and easier to get soap out. She missed her shampoo too; it smelled like vanilla and left her hair smooth and silky, while they only kind they had in the castle was a lavender lye soap that Thomas liked. Addison hated the smell of lavender.
"Are you nervous for the wedding?" A maid asked, taking the bar of soap and scubbing Addison's scalp with it. She remembered when her and Henry would sit together in the bathtub, talking in hushed voices so no one would know that they were together while Henry washed her hair. He would scratch her scalp gently before taking a cup Robin used to wash the little ones hair out with and rinse the suds out of hers. When he would finish, he'd kiss her shoulder gently before switching positions so she could do the same. It was intimate moments like then that Addison missed the most.
"No, not nervous." Addison replied, closing her eyes and wishing it was Henry washing her hair instead.
"What about tonight? Are you nervous for that?" The maid asked.
"Martha, do not ask the Princess such a thing! Know your place." Vivian scolded.
"It's fine Vivian, she can ask. Yes I am nervous, worried about the pain I suppose." She lied as she poured water over her hair. She was absolutely repulsed with the idea of sleeping with him, but it she knew she would have no physical pain.
"Hopefully there will be a few heirs soon, I love watching littles." Another maid joked, making Addison stiffen. A child was the last thing she wanted. That child was her death sentence, her reminder that she only had nine more months until Thomas succeeded with his plan.
"Oh no, no heir yet." Addison brushed if off with a chuckle, standing up and taking the towel Vivian offered her. "We are both young, mind you."
Addison dried off quickly and pulled a shift dress over her head as Martha whisked her away to do her hair. Addison called for Vivian to do it, but the maid shook her head, saying she had other matters to attend to.
"Prince Thomas specifically requested for it to be like this." She said with a smile as she set about braiding my hair up. I sighed, whatever it was he wanted, it was most likely the opposite of what I want.
"It seems like Thomas thinks he has more right to my decisions regarding my body than I do." The princess seethed as Vivian re-entered the room, a platter filled with fruit, cheeses, and meats.
"What is it now love?" Vivian asked with a sigh, noticing that Addison had started to get red in the face.
"I want my hair down." She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as her nose scrunched up in disgust. Her stomach churned at the smell of the food and she shook her head. "Vivian, that food is vile! Get it out!" She exclaimed, pinching her nose with a cough.
Martha and Vivian gave the princess a puzzled look before sniffing the platter themselves. "My lady, there's nothing wrong with this food?" Martha said hesitantly. Addison let go of her nose and took another smell, only to start gagging.
"No, it's that ham, it's rancid." Addison insisted, gagging again. "Please get it out of my chambers before I throw up."
With one last weird look, Vivian exited with the tray, which made Addison realized how hungry she was. The queasiness she had felt from the ham still lingered, so she requested a cup of tea.
"Are you alright?" Martha asked as she continued to fix Addison's hair into a bun, even though she didn't want it like that.
"I'll be fine." Addison said, even though she was wondering the same thing. She was hardly ever sick, and along with the bloated feeling she had been having the past few days, Addison wasn't sure was wrong. "Just my monthly cycle I think, and nerves for the wedding. That's all." She said, half assuring herself that was what it was.
After a few cups of tea and a piece bread the nausea left, allowing her to finish getting ready for the ceremony. Vivian smudged rouge on her lips and cheeks and coated her eyelashes in what she thought was mascara, but what she found out was ash and water. Of course they wouldn't have the same makeup they had in Storybrooke.
"You're so beautiful love." Vivian whispered once she was done, kissing the top of her head. When she pulled away she was wiping years away from her wrinkly cheeks, weeping softly. "I remember the day you were born and now here you are, a beautiful young woman. So beautiful, so in love, even if it's not with your groom." Vivian set her hand on Addison's cheek, rubbing the skin with her thumb.
"You're strong Addi, you can do anything if you set your heart on it. That includes getting back to your Henry." She said, her voice dropping lower so the other maids couldn't hear.
"I-I can't Vivian, I have to stay here and marry Thomas and take the throne." Addison stuttered. She had known when she made the decision to go with Thomas that she would die before getting the chance to see Henry again. It hurt for Vivian to say that she could get back to him, it simply just couldn't happen.
"You're not made to be here pet. You haven't been the same since you got back, you were made for that land, we will find a way to get you back." Vivian promised, kissing her cheek gently. When Addison's chest heaved with a silent sob, Vivian's face fell. "Now now, don't cry. I shouldn't have gotten so sappy, cheer up."
Little did she know that Addison wasn't crying from the possibility of seeing Henry again, but because of the fact that it would never happen.
Addison was right. Her wedding day was Hell Day. The ceremony was in a cold ballroom that was decorated in navy and silver, the colors of Thomas's kingdom. Her dress was lacy and flowing with an obnoxious train that she was constantly tripping on. The food was exotic and spicy, which made the nausea from that morning return. Once the dancing started Addison was whisked away in her uncomfortable dress to dance with Thomas, something she was dreading.
"Are you happy my beautiful bride?" Thomas asked with a beaming smile, which Addison knew was fake.
"No." She seethed, digging her nails into the back of his hand. She hated him with every fiber of her being, she had never hated something as much as she hated him. "I'd rather be dead than married to you."
"Should I station guards in your chambers tonight so you don't kill yourself? Or worse, run away again." He spat, tightening his grip on her hand. She bit the inside of her cheek in pain, but she would never show it. "Oh wait, no need for that. You're mine tonight."
The thought of what would happen once the ball was over made her want to be sick. She was dreading it, actually.
"Excuse me, but do you mind if I steal your bride for a moment?" Princess Ariel asked them, making Addison almost cry in relief of seeing a familiar face.
"Of course princess." Thomas said with a bow, pinching Addison's side hard before passing her off to Ariel. She knew it was informal to be so open with affection, but she didn't even try to stop herself from hugging Ariel.
"Have you spoken to him?" Addison whispered in her ear during the hug. Ariel pulled away and glanced around before tugging her away into the corridor outside of the ballroom.
"It's awful Addison, he doesn't know what to do with himself." She said with a sigh, which made Addison's heart break. "Emma said he's hardly done anything besides sleep. She's started sending him to Archie again because he won't even talk to her or Regina. It's really bad."
Addison's chest tightened, it was worse than she thought. She hated the thought of him hurting, and despite how much she wants to cry, she had to keep her composure.
"Are you going to go back anytime soon?" She asked, hoping the answer was yes. When Ariel nodded, Addison almost cried in happiness. "Can you pass on a message for me? To Henry?"
Ariel smiled kindly and nodded. "Of course I will."
"Addison, get back in here!" Thomas spat, opening the door. "People are asking where you are." She only rolled her eyes.
"It is stuffy in there and I got winded. I'll be back in shortly, asshole." Addison said, rolling her eyes and shooing him away. He shot daggers but didn't dare do anything for fear of someone seeing. Once they were alone again Addison spoke up.
"Tell him that I will love him for the rest of my life, but that I don't want to be the reason he never finds anyone else." She sighed, finally allowing herself to cry. "Tell him that he needs to move on."