Okay, first and foremost: yes this arc is going to suck. Pain abounds. Second: the first part makes me teary. I don't know if others will agree with me on Rin, but. Ah well.
Okay, enjoy and keep the murderous impulses to a minimum!

Chapter 21- Of Shame and Disgraces
Rin pressed his back to the cool stone and tried to gather his courage. He'd been putting this off for forever, for longer than he should've, and even now that he'd resolved to do it... It wasn't exactly easy.

He gripped the pair of rings hanging from their cord on his neck- Haru and Makoto were sporting identical necklaces- and began.

"Dad, I... I don't know how to say this to you. You see I've... remember when I said I was going to win? To pursue your dream? Well I... I... Things have changed. I've changed. And I think I've changed for the better, they would both tell you I've changed for the better, I know. And they... They're what I actually need to talk to you about. But before I make you mad at me, you should know that I'm the vice-captain of the swim team at Samezuka. That I am going to be an Olympic swimmer. I know that. It's not just your dream, anymore. I think I know why... I think I understand why you were happy to be a fisherman and give it up. You were happy with your life, weren't you? Isn't that why?" The redhead sighed and looked up at the pale blue sky and the wisps of clouds skudding across it.

"I wasn't. That was why I was so determined to surpass him and make your dream mine. I needed something to hold to. Now though... Now I have someone- well, er, I have something to come home to. Like you did. I have someone- two someones- waiting for me at home like Mom waited for you. And that's... That's where you may find fault in me. You see, I... I love two men, Dad. I know that it's..." He wrung his hands in his lap but smiled past his watering eyes.

"I know it's supposed to be bad. Immoral, wrong, disgusting, all those other things Haru's dad was saying. But Dad... Nothing makes me happier than them. Nothing on earth. When I'm with them it feels like I can finally reach out and grasp my place in the world. With them I know where I belong. And it's... It's in their arms, Dad, it's between Haruka and Makoto. I'm so sorry if that's... If you hate it or don't accept it or think of it like Haru's dad does. But it's how I feel and that isn't going to change. It can't. It won't. I know it may seem like 'Rin you're just a kid you don't know that kind of stuff' but I do know. I was a miserable wreck- a piece of shit, if I can be so crude- in Australia because I was so alone and for a little while I had that love in my fingers and I let it go. Then I couldn't take being away from them anymore, thought that fighting them would cure me of my crippling sense of... disparagement, I guess. But when I came back and stopped struggling against them, let myself go with the flow, as Haru would say... Everything fit together inside me. They did heal me. But it wasn't with competition that I recovered. It was just... letting them love me that did it."

Rin took a deep breath and stood. Turning to the grave he pressed his fist against the stone and said "I would say I'm sorry... but instead I'll say I'm happy and I hope that's all right with you. Mom misses you, Gou says hi, and someday Mako and Haru would like to meet you themselves. I'll be back sometime soon."

The redhead left and for a moment, the smell of salt scurried around the grave marker, tinged with fish and a spice Rin would recognize immediately as the smell of home.

His feet dragged because for the first time since his grandmother's death he was unwilling to walk into his own house. But he needed clothes, and Akiha's food and litter box, and maybe some of his mackerel if he could pack it.

He knocked on the front door (his own house) and waited to be let in. Haru was actually quite proud that he didn't flinch or grimace when the door slid open and his father's hard gaze drilled into him.
"Haruka. Why have you come?"

"I needed a few things if I'm going to continue to stay at Aunt Tachibana's."

For a second the man's expression twisted into something ugly before it waxed back to passivity. "You needn't continue to disadvantage that family. This is your house, Haruka, and you belong here with your family."

"Can Makoto and Rin come back too?"

Nanase Takao scowled. "Those two are not allowed on this property."

"Then I'm not coming back."

His father growled under his breath and snatched his chin, holding his face in one hand hard enough to bruise, and forced his son to look him in the eye.
"They are not family, Haruka, they are deviants, corrupting you so-"

"They're more than family. They're the men I love."

For a second Takao's eyes flared with rage and Haru wondered if he'd pushed the man too far. Then his mother rushed out of the kitchen.
"Haruka-" She paused and her mouth dropped open and her eyes flew wide upon seeing the whole picture. "T-Takao what are you..?"

His father released him roughly and Haru pushed past his parent, casting his mother a quick nod and mumble of "Good afternoon," as he headed up the stairs.

They didn't stop him.

His clothing had all been heaped on his old bed, which, while annoying, was fine by him because it meant he didn't have to go into the master bedroom where he'd spent so much time in the past year.
He found an overnight duffle from one of the Tachibana camping trips and after shoving Akiha's food (kept in his closet on a high shelf because Akiha had fast learned where her food came from and wasn't afraid to go to the source) in one of the ends he began to fold and pack his clothing.
He'd just found his pilfered sleep shirt of Makoto's and pressed it to his nose to inhale his lover's scent when his door cracked open.
He sighed- better to not antagonize his father right now- and folded the article but didn't put it away and kept it on his lap.

"Haruka?"

He blinked, startled, and glanced over his shoulder. "Mother."

Setsuna gingerly stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. "Do you need help, s-sweetie?"

He looked away. "No. I'll be fine."

Her gaze dropped immediately to her clasped hands and she came an extra few cautious paces into the room only to fold her legs beneath her and sit, graceful as a swan, on the floor.
"Haruka..."

"Haru," he spat, for a second not caring about her reaction. "My name is Haru."

She shrunk into herself a little. "I'm... I'm very sorry... H-Haru."

He glanced sidelong at her- a diminutive thing, not at all the vivacious woman he remembered from childhood- and nodded. "It's fine."

He went back to packing with a single-minded determination and she didn't leave. He sifted through things he wanted and things he needed, occasionally pulling one or two close to envelop himself in his lovers' scents. Despite already wearing two shirts he tossed on Rin's hoodie just because it still carried the sharp hint of spice that signaled his lover. He breathed easier with it on.

"Tachibana-ch... Er, Tachibana-kun and Matsuoka-kun..."

He looked at her, gave her the direct stare that unnerved many others, and as expected she dropped her eyes to her knees.
"...couldn't you just... pick only one?"

For a moment, he sat there and stared at her. Then he brought Makoto's former shirt to his nose and breathed in deep.

"No." He said bluntly. "No, I can't choose. I tried to live without Makoto in the beginning. It didn't work. Rin and I fought and we knew there was something missing. We were missing Makoto. He's the one who filled the gaps in our hearts. It's only with three that we're whole." He gave her an almost apologetic look. "And I'm sorry you and Father can't accept that."
Setsuna didn't have an answer to that and Haru went back to packing.

A while later though she hesitantly said "You'd give up this house and your family for..."

"I love them with everything I am and that will not change."

She didn't say anything that time either, instead standing and leaving.

He continued to pack.

Haru slung the duffel over his shoulder and his remaining swimsuits (all but three had 'mysteriously' vanished) over his arm. He took the stairs two at a time, eager to leave, to get out of the house that used to comfort him.

As luck would have it, his father caught him emptying out the litter box into the outside trash can and cornered him on the porch.
"You made your mother very upset."

"Tell her I'm sorry for that." He responded curtly, trying and failing to edge past the man.

"Tell her yourself."

"I have to meet my friends at the station in a few minutes."

"Are they going to be there?"

"Why does it matter to you?"

Suddenly the older man had his arm in a vice grip and his eyes, like chips of frigid azure ice, stared down the younger male.

"I thought I told you not to interact with them."

"I thought I told you you couldn't stop me."

Takao shook him, once. "Tell them you will not see them again."

Haru looked at the floor. "I can't do that."

"Those foul abominations are clearly sick in the head and a terrible influence on you-"
That was enough. Nanase Haruka snapped.

Glaring up at his parent he snarled: "They accept me for who I am and that's something you could never do! You tried to change me, to fit me into your version of family but I'm not that person and I never will be. I love two amazing, perfect men and I'll never leave them. You're the disgusting one-"

The crack echoed in the- bitingly cold, quiet, still- afternoon air.

Haru stood stock-still, head jerked to the left, unable to believe what had just happened. His father's chest was heaving and he hadn't dropped his hand, still outstretched from the blow across his child's face. Slowly, Haru glanced at the older man and carefully tilted his head back to the front. His right cheek stung unmercifully and he could taste blood. Takao didn't look sorry about the hit and Haru hadn't expected him to.

"I'll hear no more talk of-"

"Haru-chan?"
Blue eyes widened a fraction and he glanced over his shoulder.

A startled pink gaze stared back, Nagisa's mouth hanging half open, and he edged a little closer.

Diamond-hard sapphires glared down at the blonde teenager and before he could stop himself Nagisa flinched under that look.
Haru wanted to tell his long-time friend to escape, to leave quickly, but deep down he knew it would be fruitless and he was right.

Nagisa stepped up onto the porch and smiled softly at Haru's father, a mere echo of his usual sunny grin, and bowed deeply.
"Nanase-san, isn't that right?" He said formally only once he'd straightened back up.

A curt nod from Haru's father.

"I thought so. My name is Hazuki Nagisa. You may not remember me- I was on the Iwatobi swim team when Haru and I were children? I came over once or twice, I think. It was a long time ago, I'm sorry to say I don't remember for sure."

"Another friend who swims on the same team as you?"

Haruka kept his eyes on the floor and refused to look up, nodding once.
Sharp blue eyes cut into the black-haired boy's psyche, the oppressive atmosphere intensifying- 'are you sleeping with this one too?'- and Haru hoped to high heaven that Nagisa wouldn't mention 'his boyfriend Rei-chan' or anything of the sort.

Effortlessly, strangely calm and formal, Nagisa said "I'm the breaststroke swimmer on the team. We did really well last year! Haru-ch... Haru and I posted very good times. I don't know if you've been following?"

The man sniffed archly. "I have no time for such frivolities. My wife has been watching the television more often than I. One of us must work after all."

Nagisa nodded sagely. "My own father is a busy man, so I understand completely. He has little time to spare when he works so hard and I'm sure it's the same for Nanase-san. I came by today to ask if Haru was free for the afternoon, so if you don't mind, might we take our leave?"

"...I suppose. We will continue this discussion later, Haruka."

Haru didn't dare say another word. He nodded and without asking to be excused he snatched up his bag, turned, and all but ran out of the house. Nagisa was a steady shadow on his heels.

"Oh my god, Haru-chan!" Nagisa wailed once they were far enough away from his house, out of earshot and out of sight. His hands fluttered nervously at his sides and he hesitantly reached up and pressed his fingers to Haru's still-stinging cheek. "Are you okay?! He actually hit you?! Rin-chan is gonna flip! Oh man oh man I was really scared! He's really scary!"

Haru nodded slowly. "...don't tell Rin. Or Mako." At Nagisa's dubious, mutinous, slightly silly puffed-cheek look he pleaded "Please," and his voice cracked.

The blonde immediately threw his arms around the taller boy's shoulders and held his friend close. "Okay. I won't. But you should," he added, feeling the tremors under his hands as he rubbed the black-haired boy's back. "Because this is bad, Haru-chan."

"I know."

"Come on," the blonde chirped, taking Haru's hand. "Rei-chan's waiting at the station for us."

As Nagisa led him down the stairs he found himself clenching that small hand tighter and tighter until he was sure he had to be hurting the blonde but the second he tried to relieve some pressure those knowing pink eyes caught downcast blue and Nagisa squeezed back.

"I'll do some investigations into the possibilities as well, Haruka-senpai."

"Don't concern yourself." He said back and after a moment winced, thinking it had come out too sharp.

"It's no concern if I'm helping my friend," Rei replied calmly as he adjusted his glasses.
Haru blinked, glancing up, and the younger boy smiled at him.

"Ahh, oh no! Hey hey, Haru-chan! Here come Mako-chan and Rin-chan!"

Haru jerked, startled, looking from first Nagisa suddenly clinging onto his left arm and then the other direction. His heart leapt into his throat- Rin was grinning ear-to-ear and probably giggling over something Makoto had just told him and the brunette was regarding their redheaded boyfriend with his usual fond smile- but before he could look away green eyes caught his. Makoto's whole expression lit up.

"Har-"

And the black-haired boy knew the exact second shit hit the fan.

The grocery bag dropped from nerveless hands as Makoto gaped at him and more noticeably the swelling under his right eye.
Rin blinked at the sudden difference in attitude and turned his gaze onto Haruka.

The redhead snarled a furious epithet but Makoto had already broken into a run.

Haru's heart tugged him into facing their onslaught just as Makoto reached him and drew him into a sudden embrace.

"He hit you?!" Rin growled, arriving in a flurry of sharp anger. "I'll fucking kill that bastard-"

"It's my fault, I said something I shouldn't have..."

"There is no good reason to hit another person!" Makoto said vehemently. "Nothing you could have said deserved that treatment!"

He wanted to believe it. He did. His heart hurt in his chest because he wished, wished desperately, that his parents could have been as accepting as Makoto's and Rin's had been.
The first sob caught him by surprise and he gripped a double handful of Makoto's jean jacket, burying his face in the brunette's shoulder. Rin joined in the embrace, squeezing their forlorn lover tight.

"Haru-chan..." Nagisa whimpered, throwing himself into the hug.

"Haruka-senpai..." Rei said simply, a hand on the black-haired boy's shoulder.

Breathing in Makoto's familiar scent and surrounded by supporting friends eased the burden from his shoulders. Perhaps for just that minute in time it faded. Real life wanted to rush back in and shred into his heart but he dug into Makoto and took the comfort offered in Rin's tight hold and pushed it resolutely away.

Even if he didn't have the family he shared blood with Haru knew he had the one he'd shared a friendship with.

Y-yay? Everybody's not mad at me but mad at someone else? *cough*Haru'sDad*coughcough* ...I hope?
And about Nagisa: it's been said from the studio itself that Nagisa's the mood-maker of the group. HimesayuriPhoenix and I discussed his character a bit and decided that yes, he'd definitely be able to pick up on any mood and react accordingly. Even disturbing, heavy moods like this one. He knows how to people-please in a pinch and this qualified. And we all know he's not just a stupid kid. He's very perceptive.
Anyway! Bye for now! Review please, I want to know your thoughts!