I seem to be going through this phase of 'Must make one-shots into full blown epics' and thusly, this is continuing. Why? Because I can and that's a damn good enough reason for anything. Plus people seem to like it and it's an excuse to play around with that God among men: Ash.

Fangirls for the win! -throws arms in the air-

A final note: the story's structure will remain the same in subsequent chapters as it was in the first. Half from Ash's POV and half in third person. I'd like to think of it as being like a comic book...part of it in voice over captions and part of it in dialogue and action.

What? I read comics...stfu.

----

Them. They.

Two of the most paranoid words in the English language.

It's always 'It's us or them!' or 'They want me dead!'.

So yeah...definitely the two most paranoid words in the whole dictionary.

Two words that I'm intimately familiar with.

And two words that I'm having a hard time remembering right now because one of them happens to be standing over me, and this particular member of the Them clan has a set of legs on her that would make Betty Grable envious.

Evil. Evil. Remember she's evil. Remember she's evil.

Evil with legs up to her neck, but evil.

You know, she has a real naughty librarian vibe to her. Hair in one of those tight, severe buns, glasses and a high neck sweater under that lab coat...yeah. Naughty librarian.

Why the hell am I thinking about this?

Maybe I really have lost my marbles...

I still don't get why they haven't killed me yet. I'm at their mercy, after all. It's not like I have any hope for escape or anything. My only option would be to chew my way through the walls, and I'm keeping that reserved as an absolute last resort. They'll slip up eventually, I can wait. I'm just waiting around until they decide to try and kill me or move me or something, since that'll give me the best chance of getting my hands on something to work with.

But so far, all they've done is observe me.

Why?

I'm a sitting duck, they could just wring my neck and nobody would be the wiser. Why keep me as a glorified pet?

I don't like this...I don't like this at all...

----

She stood over him, clip board in hand and looked at him with malice in her eyes, "Good evening, Mister Williams. I'm Doctor Masi and I've been assigned to be your psychiatrist."

She wasn't the least bit discouraged when all he did was glance at her hatefully and spit at her.

"So nice to see you're adjusting to your surroundings," she said with an unsettling smile, "So, Mister Williams...feel like talking to me today?"

"Why are you keepin' me here?"

Doctor Masi, or rather, the possessed husk that used to be Mira Masi, laughed mildly, "To the point, Mister Williams. I like that."

"Knock it off with the Mister Williams garbage, would ya?" he snapped, "Why are you keepin' me here? Why haven't you killed me yet?"

"I don't know what you mean," she answered innocently, "I'm your Doctor, Mister Williams...I'm here to help you...not hurt you."

She tipped her head at him, the light filtering in through the small square window in the door catching her eye and making it glisten, "Unless of course you want me to hurt you...do you want me to hurt you, Mister Williams?"

She crouched down in front of him and got within an inch of his face, "Do you want us to kill you, Mister Williams?"

"I want to know why the hell you're keepin' me as a pet and not wearin' my guts for garters."

"Please, Ash, we're not so barbaric anymore," she replied, smiling so widely her face looked like it might crack in half, "Someone taught us the value of strategy long ago. You're the only man who has ever defeated us and lived...we want to know what makes you such a threat. What is it that makes you successful against us where so many others have failed?" Her dark eyes lit up with an inner fire, "In essence, Mister Williams...we want to know what makes you tick so that we can crush any others that rise up against us like you."

"So that's why you're keepin' me around? You want a lab rat?"

"I wouldn't use so pedestrian a term...but if the shoe fits." She stood once again to look down on him, "We intend to test your limits and find out what will finally break you...and when we find it-"

The Deadite in Doctor's clothing snapped the pencil she was holding in half as easily as she had the old janitor's neck and dropped the pieces next to Ash on the padded floor.

"Come, Mister Williams...your first test awaits."

-----

A/N: Do I know where I'm going with this? Not a clue. I never know what I'm doing. I go wherever the Muses take me, whenever they take me. I have no control over my creative drive whatsoever.

Oh lord...I just got an idea for a Clerks one shot.

It never ends, I swear.

Ahem. Any thoughts?