I love you guys.

Seriously.

But yeah, this chapter escalates quickly.

Abnormally quickly.

Also, there's not much description, because I imagine in his situation, talking from a stream of consciousness he wouldn't go into to much depth in the situation.

That's why i wouldn't classify what's in this chapter as smut. In future chapters it'll be more smutty, but you'll see why this isn't.

And I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update! I've been caught up in college Quarterly's and the end of Term was yesterday and had to submit 7 portfolio pieces. SEVEN. So yeah. I'm back in business now though!

Sorry guise~

Warnings; Drug use. Fluffy sex. Foul Language (of course.).

...

The morning was interesting, to say the least.

Since I had told my parents that a friend was staying over, I couldn't just shoo the blonde from my house in the morning nor could I let him leave unless I wanted to be interrogated. Telling them also resulted in my mother acting...motherly, and making breakfast for us. It was just waffles, but she never made breakfast for me so it was different. It saved me time and allowed me to be lazy for a while longer.

Kenny scarfed the food she made down happily like it was the best thing he'd ever eaten, while I kinda just stared blankly as he did so. My mom put on this act, pretending like she was flattered or something that he liked her cooking so much he's shovel it into his mouth. She should have been telling him to mind his manners, I was a bit disturbed, to say the least.

Then I got this nagging realization that he was in MY house, eating MY waffles, in MY clothes.

What the fuck was he even doing here?

After breakfast, autopilot turned on and I began to follow the path of the same routine i took every morning. I showered, I got dressed, I brushed my teeth, and I made sure all of my stuff was together. It didn't matter that there was a boy sitting on my bed that usually wasn't. I didn't care.

He was apparently going to wear the clothes he wore to bed to school since what he'd taken off was dirty. It was one of the many things he had informed me of in his long speech about what he was going to have to do that day. I still didn't care. I kept about my business like he wasn't even talking, hearing him but not daring to say anything.

It wasn't long before we were outside, walking towards the school. My hands clutched onto the straps of my bookbag as I walked, Kenny walking besides me with nothing but his parka in his arms due to the fact that his school stuff was at home.

"Shouldn't you go get your stuff?" I asked plainly, looking at him for a second before looking back to the path ahead of me.

He shook his head, staying silent for a moment before finally saying something. His tone was quiet though, and no where near as annoying as usual. "I told you...I can't go home. My dad..."

His dad..? I had been a bit slow on connecting the dots, but when I did actually put the pieces together, the truth hit me like a brick. Had his dad done that to him..? Is that why he couldn't go home..? My body felt weak suddenly, and I couldn't even begin to hold back the sympathy for him I always surpessed. I didn't let it show though.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a small laugh come from my side, drawing my eyes towards the other teen as he shook his head. "I probably should go back though...not right now but when school gets out.."

I felt like stopping and telling him not to. Forcing him not to. I was suddenly afraid for him for no reason. I had no connection to him; In fact, I hated him, yet I wanted to help him. God, I was driiving myself insane. I was fighting with my own conscience inside my head, but on the outside i looked cool and composed. I had to leave before it showed through. I had to get away from him.

"Stop walking with me..." I said coldly, picking my pace up enough to lose him behind me. He didn't try to catch up, nor did he call out, he just kept trucking on behind me while my legs strained to carry me far away from him.

...

In comparison to my morning, the remainder of the day was boring and completely unvaluable in every way. The only thing that remotely entertained me was during lunch, and what happened was Clyde got up to dump his and Bebe's trash, and she made a comment about him being a dweeb. I laughed a little on the inside. Clyde really was clueless.

To my surprise, I hadn't seen Kenny for the remainder of the day. Sure, he'd been in my studyhall first period, but things were like they always were. Cartman talked his ear off while he just sat there and doodled in his notebook. I didn't even hear anyone spit out any rumors about us walking towards school together or seeing me take him home last night. As far as anyone else was concerned, it never even happened. Shit, even I was convinced it was just a dream or something..

It wasn't until I was on my way home that we ran into each other again.

I had decided to take the longer, desolate route to get home. I usually took that way when I had a lot on my mind, and the path ran through the woods, leading to the other end of town near my house. It was always so nice. So quiet. No one ever used it because it was so much more time consuming than just going through town. Perfect conditions for me to run into Steve.

I'm sure that if he was hiding away from people anywhere in this town, it'd have to be out along this trail somewhere. None of the chaos from the idiotic place ever came out here, and people wouldn't travel the road enough to spot him.

His existance seemed very unlikely to most, but I had pondered it so much lately that it seemed impossible that he wasn't real. Such a strange thought had been drilled into my head so many times that I could hardly believe that it was just a figment of my imagination at one point. I guess that's just how my mind worked. The anticipation of his company had become something I looked forward to, something that kept me going. Telling me that no such thing had ever been real was like telling me there was no hope left, no reason to go on. I needed to share my thoughts with him one day. Once I did, I would be fine.

In the midst of my thoughts, I heard a noise behind me. There was rustling, and then footsteps. I froze in my spot.

No way. Could it really be him? Had he really decided to show himself to me?

The footsteps stopped, and I worked up the courage to turn around and look. I would finally get to see him!

"I was looking for you, dude.."

...fuck. It was just Kenny.

"What do you want, McCormick..?" I was pissed. It was clear in my voice that I was angry. He had gotten my hopes up. He wasn't a snow troll, nor would he ever be.

"Listen..I uh...I wanted to thank you for...ya know.." He seemed a little nervous, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke to me. His eyes had moved down to the pavement until he finished speaking, when they fixed on mine.

I just shrugged. He didn't need to thank me. It was over and done with. Besides, any normal human being would have done the same exact thing. "That it?"

"Well, yeah and-" I turned around and began to walk again, completely cuting him off. Little did I know that he had a trick up his sleeve, waiting for me to take a few steps before finishing his sentence in an over-dramamtic voice. "Anndd..I have this joint and no one to share it with~"

I stopped in my tracks again. I had a weakness for weed, and he knew it. Everyone knew it. It was my only escape from the reality I called hell. I would never buy it though due to the sheer fact that there was no one to smoke it with besides Clyde, who had been too occupied with that stupid blonde recently. Smoking alone for me was the most depressing thing I could do. It was unbearably lonely, therefore I had been sober for the passed month.

There he was though, standing behind me with the promise of getting high. I turned around again and looked at him, not sure if he was bluffing or not. I found out it was the latter though when he reaced into his parka's pocket to grab the blunt that he'd promised, a huge grin on his lips. I just rolled my eyes and walked back towards him, signifying that I had fallen into his little trap.

We headed towards one of the two small bridges that was on that road, a path already made through the snow leading underneath. When the water was low, it was a nice spot to sit and hide away from anyone else who might stumble along the road. Very few knew about the hidden gem, and most of them only used it for the same purpose that we were using it for.

I could tell you about how we walked to the bridge and describe every little detail about the small path we took but i doubt you want to hear it and in comparison to the monumental step I was about to take in my life...it really doesn't have any worth.

I sat on a patch of grass, my back against the large slab of concrete that helped support the one end of the bridge. We sat so close that the sides of our bodies were touching, my shoulder leaning into his as i watched him pull a neatly rolled blunt from his pocket. Just the sight of it made my head feel dizzy with anticipation. I hadn't had one in forever and was in great need of something to relax my nerves and keep me from coming completely undone while waiting for some large beast, who would probably rip me the shreds, to come along and save me from these pent up emotions.

I watch as he held it out towards me, his other hand digging for a lighter as small profane words came from his mouth. I gladly took what was offered to me, pinching it between my thumb and index finger, my eyes staying on the male until he finally found what he was looking for. He let out a noise of triumph, proud to finally have it in his grasp.

"You get first hit as a thank you." He muttered, making me realize that he was waiting for me to raise the blunt to my mouth so he could light it. Without hesitation, i raised the joint to my lips, holding it there as i watched him strike the lighter. The flame blew out the first time, so the second time he cupped his hand around it and quickly moved it to light it, waiting until the end burned red to draw back.

I inhaled deeply, taking as much of that beautiful smoke into my lungs as i could. When i did reach my limit, i clamped my mouth shut and pulled the blunt from my lips, holding it out to my side where the blonde sat.

My eyes were now fixed on the water that was in front of me, my breath being held until i could feel lungs drawing close to bursting. I blew the smoke out in front of me, clouding my vision but making it easier to forget i even existed. It also helped that i could already feel the high kicking in.

I must have been too out of it to notice Kenny taking his drag, for soon enough the joint was being held out towards me again. We repeated this process for a while, or what seemed like a while, before there was a change in routine, and this change happened when the blonde spoke to me.

"You wanna shotgun?"

I had no idea what that was, honestly, but i nodded my head anyway. I suppose that i probably shouldn't have done that but my head was so light and my thoughts were so jumbled, i couldn't really be bothered with caring.

I watched as he situated himself to sit different so that he was facing me, and I assumed i needed to do the same, so I did.

"Close your eyes and open your mouth.." he instructed, a command I never would have obeyed if not for the drug that was hazing my judgement, and so I did what he told me.

I waited to feel something happen, and it was somewhat suspenseful, like being blindfolded and told to walk straight. You know you're going to run into something but its hard to tell when.

The touch I was waiting for soon came though, cold fingers settling themselves on my jaw and sending a chill down my spine. I managed to keep my mouth open, breathing softly until I felt a gust of air, or smoke, puff into my air way. My instincts kicked in and I welcomed it with a deep inhale, taking it all in until the supply stopped, which when it did i clamped my lips shut again. I sat there for a moment with my eyes closed, enjoying the feeling the drug was supplying me with.

When my eyelids did slowly creep open, it was to find Kenny's face only an inch or two from mine, his lips so close that the slightest movement would cause a kiss. As i started to piece things together, I realized he had blown the smoke into my mouth from his, and that made me a bit nervous for some reason. I could feel my cheeks heat up, which he obviously noticed because he laughed softly. His hand was still holding my face, and I could feel his thumb stroke over my cheek gently, like I was something precious.

Caught up in my emotions, i had almost forgotten to breathe. I let the smoke out of my lungs , tilting my head back so that i didn't blow it right in the blondes face. Once I had fully emptied my chest and moved my vision back to him, I was greeted by the same closeness and the same light eyes that had been staring at me no longer than five seconds ago, still only inches away.

We just stared at each other, staying close and moving in even closer once his free hand gripped my shoulder. I wasn't sure where the blunt had went, though i didn't care, I was instead focused on the fact that Kenny had moved in to press out lips together. I didn't struggle, nor did my eyes stay open for long, leaning my own weight in to press back.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, but it seemed like hours before he drew back and spoke words that I'll never forget.

"I like you..a lot.."

That wasn't the first time I'd heard it but it was the first time it'd made me feel something. I guess this is where I say that my fate was sealed and tell you more cliche garbage that's true, but I'll spare you the pain.

Before I knew what was happening, our lips were together again, only this time the kiss wasn't as innocent as the last, this one incorporating tongue and all.

I had only ever made out with girls and had thought that making out with another guy would be the same, but i was wrong. I wasn't gender biased, and sex never made a difference to me, but up until that point I'd only experienced the soft, weak kiss that only females give. This kiss was rougher, and instead of having control of it i had to fight for dominance, which was new to me and most likely why i lost the battle.

As a punishment of sorts, his hands slid down my sides, latching onto my hips and tugging me onto his lap, and maybe even a little more than that. He wasted no time in letting one of those hands slide to the small of my back and pull our bodies as close together as possible, and for some fucking reason, I liked it. I welcomed it by sliding my arms over his shoulders, my wrists crossing behind his head.

I should have known what i was getting myself into, any person with half a brain would have known what getting high and making out with Kenneth McCormick meant. I guess I didn't have half a brain. I had to receive a rough thrust against my rear to fully grasp what he wanted to do with me.

This probably goes with out saying but i was a virgin, never able to tolerate people enough to sleep with any of them, which is why this action scared the shit out of me. What scared me even more was the fact that i had made a noise when i felt it.

It had to be the weed. There was no other way this would have made sense.

Receiving a reaction, Kenny gave me a few more as his mouth left mine, causing my eyes to open and see the satisfied smirk on his lips. His light hues locked on mine and i couldn't help but raise my middle finger to flip him off.

I didn't want sex. Hell, i was probably shaking, i just hoped he couldn't see it.

His free hand slid down even further and worked its way between our now moving bodies, his fingertips pressing against my clothed flesh until they reached the waist line of my pants. He let his fingers meet the button, fumbling a bit before undoing it, his eyes staying on mine the whole time, even when i looked down at what he was doing.

My heart was beating so fast. This was not happening. I could hardly comprehend that this was reality.

I couldn't do anything but lift my hips as he pulled them down just enough to expose me, making sure to tug down my boxers as well.

"Ya know..you're cuter than people give you credit for.." He muttered.

I could have stopped him from undoing his pants, or even mine, but I didn't. I guess for some reason I thought I had mattered or something because he was doing this with me. I don't know how I could have been so stupid.

There was no foreplay like in those books and movies chicks dig, or like that dirty anime me and Clyde accidentally watched.

It just happened...and it hurt like a bitch.

It was nothing like i had imagined my first time to be. I had expected pleasure and screaming and a creaking bed and headboard banging against the wall. It was quiet though, and the feeling was far from pleasing, but there was something about it that made me want to keep going. I felt attached to him in those moments. The only thing i could hear was our heavy panting and his occasional low groans. The whole thing seemed so surreal, and was over before my mind could even understand it was happening.

...

We had made our way back to my house after that. I felt it was necessary to invite him over after ...ya know..he took my virginity under a fucking bridge...

The walk was awkward, and even though I hurt I tried not to let it show. We were silent the whole time, even when he reached over to grab my hand with his.

His fingers were still cold.