I apologize again guys. I have a lot of personal problems going on.
I'm getting back in the groove though, don't worry.
This chapter is short because it was originally the beginning of a gigantic chapter, I felt that his feelings were stronger when separated from the rest of the chapter though, so this is basically that.
The rest of the chapter I'll post tonight ~
Til then, enjoy this sadness.
...
My parents didn't think it strange that Kenny had slept over again. I suppose that that was normal though. To them, we were just two guys having bro time and being like any other teenage boys would be. Yeah, maybe we'd talk about an inappropriate thing or two but they'd never imagine that we'd do it.
How were they supposed to know that their first born child, their baby, their 'Craigy-poo', just lost his virginity to that sloppy looking blonde under some poorly constructed bridge. They didn't know that he was the town whore. They didn't know that I was that ignorant.
They'd want better for me.
I didn't talk much that night, but hey, that's nothing new, right? We kind of just sat on my bed and looked around for a bit before lying down for sleep. Sure, it was early, but I was really tired from the experience.
The only conversation had consisted of "How was it..?" "It hurt." "I'm sorry, dude.."
After that, life went on.
At first, there were little waves in the hall and sometimes even a grin on that smug face of his when our eyes locked, but even that stopped. Somehow, we reverted back to our previous relationship where we didn't talk and his friends did nothing but annoy the shit out of me every time they spoke. The only difference was I wasn't annoyed to look at him anymore. Instead it hurt more than anything.
It baffled me how fast time passed, and before I knew it two weeks flew by.
It was like the world knew of my sadness; a sadness I hadn't even realized I was feeling yet. It knew though, for today's sunny day only shone outside to give me a clear view of a lone goose out in that field. There was no flock or huddled group, just one. It walked around the cold snow alone until he found a patch that had managed to break through, lying on it.
In a sense, I could relate. I was left behind in a sense, and my mind started to convince me that this wasn't the first time. My brain began to come to the conclusion that I had always been this way, I'd always been someone that no one can like for too long. Everyone I met would move on. I'd always be alone.
It was one thing to be upset over not having something, but the only way to get that heart wrenching pain in your chest is to be promised something only to have it ripped away. Torn your grasp violently then flaunted in front of your face as a reminder of what you can't have.
I'm not saying that Kenny was ever promised to me. Hell, I should have known that this would happen. I guess I just hoped that maybe he'd want to hear what I had to say.
I don't know.