Chapter Ten:
The insistent tune reached Tohno's ears, pulling him out of his sleep gradually. His eyes opened to register the blank white ceiling above, seeing its starkness, its emptiness... and then he was reaching over the bed for his phone.
Hoping. Expecting.
But there were no notifications, no messages, only the infuriating alarm ringing.
Only the alarm.
And suddenly, the world seemed suffocating. The walls seemed to have been pushed forward at least two centimeters. Tohno recounted how the apartment had felt more cheerful in the past few days, but everything about the apartment now seemed lonely; from the one chair besides the table, only his clothes lying around, everything, only his mess. There was nothing of someone else's. For that, the feeling of loneliness struck him.
Tohno got ready for the restaurant and left.
Outside, it was drizzling, making the air slightly chilly. Though he felt the cold against his face-it was indeed cold in fact- Tohno felt nothing. Isamu was opening up the store when he arrived, the great wooden doors groaning as they were pushed open. Confusion was clear upon the old man's face as he turned to see Tohno. Isamu squinted at the sky above through the glass ceiling of the mall, but the sky was a shade of grayish-white, entirely covered with thin clouds. "No sun to tell the time." Isamu walked into the restaurant. "But you're early, boy."
Tohno followed, moving straight to the stove to boil a fresh pot of water, subconsciously trying to keep busy as Isamu fumbled around near him for fresh stacks of plates.
"Couldn't sleep?"
He paused for a moment in front of the sink, only staring straight ahead at the wooden panels of the wall in front of him.
"Were you perhaps busy with someone of the opposite gender, hmm?" Isamu chuckled nervously at Tohno's silence. "You're not getting flustered today, what... has the Kami cursed you?"
"No," Tohno said, moving on to wipe down the tables with rags.
"Right, what happened to the woman from a little while ago? The one that came at night?"
His eyes focused on a little rip on one of the chairs around the table, not looking up as Isamu appeared over the counter, but hearing that he was close.
"You should bring her again sometime. Such an easy person to get along with-"
"She's not coming again." Tohno looked up, his gaze fixating on Isamu's face. "Akari left." There was a terrible ache in his chest.
"Oh... I see." It was clear the old man wasn't used to comforting people. Isamu cleared his voice, "There's others out there. What about the other woman from a few days ago?"
"That's her friend." Tohno wanted to laugh really, because everything... everything seem to lead back to Akari.
"I've lived a lot longer than you, and I know one thing for sure. Life always goes on."
Shortly after noon, a message appeared on Tohno's phone from Kanae asking where he worked. It wasn't long afterwards before an athletic girl with hair ending directly below the sharp angle of her face appeared in the doorway. She stopped shyly when she caught sight of Tohno, but asked Isamu if she could stay here for the remainder of the day. "I'll help around. Don't pay me, Grandfather. I just want to see how he's doing."
"Who?" Isamu asked.
"Ah.." Kanae fidgeted with her fingers. "Tohno Takaki. He's someone I've known."
"The depressed one over there?" Isamu jerked his head towards Tohno's direction. "You're welcome to, but I warn you, he's got quite the temper today."
She bowed. "I understand. Thank you."
He was silent as she made her way over to him, her steps sounding abnormally loud. In truth, he didn't want her here. Not her. But he mustered a smile, and when Tohno turned around, he was smiling gently at her. "Kanae? What are you doing here?"
"Are you okay, Tohno-kun?" she asked worriedly.
"Yeah. I'm fine." He looked past her for a moment. "How are you Kanae?"
"Ha! He's lying!" retorted Isamu. "There's no way he would be moping around if he wasn't depressed."
They were walking along the streets now, the night silent and lonely and still with only the two of them. Granted, Kanae was with him, but somehow, her company made him feel so much more alone. She wasn't Akari.
"Are you really okay, Tohno-kun?" He could hear the genuine concern in her voice, but what could he say? How could he put into words what was indescribable?
"I know..." Kanae halted. "I'm not her Tohno-kun, but..." A low rumbling sound started in the air, and they both looked up to see an airplane traveling through the sky. It threw Tohno back to the past, to years ago when he thought of how lonely spaceships were, when they were the only thing traveling in space. "If you want, I'll... I'll always be there for you to talk to."
He looked at her in surprise and Kanae was flushing furiously.
"You're not really okay, Tohno-kun. You're not..." She raised her eyes to his. "I wish you could be honest... with me."
I wish you could be honest with me. I Wish. You Could. Be Honest. With Me.
The words resonated in Tohno's mind. For as long as he remembered, he was hardly honest with anyone, including himself. For a long time, he had let his own life deteriorate and crumble.
And he felt like he was seeing Kanae for the first time. Not the bashful Kanae who had accompanied him on the walks home back then, but this grown woman who genuinely cared for others with her quiet determination.
Thank you. Tohno wanted to say, and though his mouth opened, the words didn't come out. Instead, he stepped closer to her and he was quite sure that he wasn't sick, his body was healthy, but he suddenly felt so weak. He stepped shakily and fell..
..and Kanae was supporting him with her own strength. "To-Tohno-kun!"
He closed his eyes and let her support him for a while. "Kanae," he said through closed eyes.
"Tohno-kun?"
He took a deep breath.
"...Thank you."
It had only been a week since Akari left.
Author Notes:
So here's the new chapter after a very long wait. Oddly enough, this was not the original path I had intended for this story or even this specific chapter, but it turned out this way.
As always, thank you for reading!