Alright here is part two of the commentary. Now if you notice some other errors then let me know in a PM or review.

We All Need A Nap

Just some fun little stories about the RP

The beginning of Evil(This doesn't sound like something fun. But perhaps DFF began the forum with Arendelle attacked and that is what happened)

King DFF first met princess Dana as an arranged marriage. They never did enjoy the company of each other, but as a king and Queen, they had duties to their country.

(Guess not)

Their first borne arrived shortly after they were wed, and the disagreements between the two only got worse. As time went on, Queen Dana met a king from a far away(First error: faraway is not two words. It is only one word. I mean who doesn't know that or catch it after it's been up for weeks!*sigh*Alright let's get further) land called "King Thunder" (A land named King Thunder? Is it living or something? I mean kingdoms usually aren't named after a ruler right? Seriously*sigh*)at first, they were quite smitten with each other, and without to(Error it's too not to when you talking about pressures and force. As my physic/English/Economics teacher would say "Don't make the same mistakes as everyone else.")much pressure, Queen Dana broke the vows of her marriage to king DFF, and went to bed with King Thunder. Then back to bed with King DFF(Wait a minute,…She was in two beds and DFF didn't notice her coming in late? Isn't that a little I don't know SKETCHY to begin with?). Thus the twins were Conceived,(conceived) Queen Dana never did find out whose baby(Alright where did the other child go? Did it die?) was whose, but she kept the love affair between herself and King Thunder a secret. Until one night, King Thunder turned up stabbed to to death and gagged in his bed(Alright now it's dark). Queen Dana then Forced King DFF to leave by a threat of murder(And a king can't just make her leave? I mean come on! If you even cough in Buckingham palace you get carried out to the road immediately because they don't want someone to die(PM me for more on that)). She used her army to invade the lands of King Thunder, with great success.

The reign of Empress Dana then began. While she terrorized the civilians of King Thunders Domain, the three children of Queen Dana and King DFF fled in the night.(Three? First twins then one child now three? Seriously pick a number!) Finding their father, only to find he had begun to build up a new kingdom, already gathering knights to defeat the evil Empress Dana, and. after much preperation,(Preparation) King DFF suffered(Eliminators or something like that?). He mercilessly penetrated the great walls that Empress Dana had built to defend her domain, but no matter her efforts of saftey,(Safety) she was no match for King DFF's well trained(well-trained)army.(Hold on folks! She said he was losing then said glorious victory was achieved. How did that happen?)

King DFF won control of Empress Dana's kingdom, and beheaded his former Queen in the courtyard for all to see.

...

Alright folks this is where it's odd. You notice the amount of errors in the story. It's rather large if you asked me. Also why did the author switch stories so fast. I mean seriously one second DFF was losing then he was winning. What happened in the middle. Strange isn't it?