"Kitty and I met about 8 or 9 years ago." Matt took another sip of the excellent coffee and settled back a little further into his chair. "I was the brand new Marshal of Dodge City, Kansas and she was a…" he paused. This man probably knew what a saloon girl was and what they did to earn their pay. But did he want him to know that about Kitty?
Paul looked over at Kitty, smiled and then shrugged when he looked back at Matt. Almost as if he understood what Matt was trying not to say.
"Well, she was fairly new in town too." Matt went on. "We struck up a friendship almost from the beginning. Both of us had pretty rough beginnings and both of us…" he looked down and then back over at Kitty. "Both of us had been hurt before, by others. I don't think either one of us really wanted anything but friendship at first."
He stopped again with a rueful half smile. "Well, at least I didn't. You see, I'd had a couple of serious relationships in the past and they… well they didn't quite work out too well. They wanted and needed something I didn't and couldn't give. I… I just didn't want to get hurt again. But…" He took another sip of the coffee and stood, pacing around the room for a few minutes.
"I tried to stay away from her, ya know." He nodded over at Kitty. "I was attracted to her from the first moment I saw her but I was determined not to get involved with any woman. I'm a lawman. Lawmen… they… they can't get married, ya see. They… it… it's not safe for them or the women they love. So, I kept my distance. For a while at least. But…."
His pause this time was a lot longer and Paul used the opportunity to rise and pour more coffee into Matt's cup.
Matt nodded his thanks and then looked again at Kitty before continuing. "Best laid plans." He said softly before looking back at Paul with a shrug.
"I guess you can tell that I didn't succeed in staying away from her. Like I said, I tried but I just... couldn't. She… she has a magic about her that was irresistible to me. I don't know exactly when, but one day I looked at her and I realized I didn't want to be just her friend. I wanted more and I knew she did as well."
Matt saw the raised brow of his host and understood the question.
"Kitty's not as good at hiding her feelings as I am. When Kitty loves someone, she lets them know. And she let me know in many, many ways how much she loved me. Of course that doesn't mean that she chased me. She didn't. I don't think Kitty would ever chase any man. If they didn't want her, she wouldn't hound them. No, Kitty kept her distance at first because in a way, she was as shy around me as I was her. She'd been hurt before too and… well, with what she did for a living… she… she didn't think she was good enough for me. Can you imagine that? I never thought that, but she did, at first anyway."
Matt chuckled a little; remembering the stiffness in the both of them the first year or so they were together. He glanced over at Paul and could tell that the old man understood without elaboration what he meant. "We acted awful skittish around each other for a while. But… when we finally came together…"
When Matt lapsed into silence again, Paul rose and again pulled down the bible, opening to a certain passage, putting it down in front of Matt and pointing to one line. "Faith, hope and charity (love) and the greatest of these is charity (love)."
"Yeah." Matt swallowed back a lump. He glanced back over at her. "That's what it was alright. I… I never felt anything like it before. I mean… well, I thought I had. You know, like I said there were others before her but…" he shook his head with a sigh, "but not like her. I could never love anyone like I do her."
Paul watched Matt intently but Matt had a feeling that even if he could speak, he wouldn't. He seemed to know that Matt needed and wanted to talk and he was content to sit back and listen.
"It's not been easy though, for either of us. I, uh… I suspect it won't be as long as I wear this badge and she continues to run that saloon." He shook his head. "You know, in the years that I've known her, we've encountered things that most folks never would. She's been threatened and shot and shot at. Not all because of me, mind you, but that didn't make it any easier on me. I've been shot quite a few times myself as well as various other things most men never have happen to them. But each time, I was hurt, she was there. She never fails to come to me when I need her, if she can get to me at all."
Paul pointed at Matt and then over to Kitty and raised his hands.
Matt nodded. "Yeah, I always try to do the same for her. It's hard to explain, but that's just how we are."
Just then, Kitty moaned again slightly and Matt jumped up and hurried over to her. "Kitty?"
Kitty didn't answer as she moved restlessly on the cot, and continued to moan. Matt checked her forehead, noting her temperature had risen higher. He started up to get some water and once again, Paul had beaten him to the punch by already being there with another bowl of cool water and a cloth. The speed and quietness of the old man was surprising but right then Matt didn't have the time to question it. His concern wasn't with his host.
Nodding his thanks, Matt took the cloth, dipped it in the water and gently sponged her chest and forehead. Several times he repeated his treatment until she settled down a little. Moving the cover off of her leg, he gently untied the bandage and examined the wound. It had stopped bleeding, but the wound was raw and puckered with infection.
Swallowing hard, he looked up at his host. "As soon as this storm breaks, I'm going to have to get her back to Dodge, to the doctor there, even if I have to carry her all the way. She's hurt bad."
Paul nodded, pointed to his own chest, held out his arms as though there was a weight in them. He was offering his help.
"I appreciate that." Matt told him. Re-wrapping her leg, Matt pulled the cover back over her and stood, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, before moving back over to the table and reclaiming his chair. "I sure do hate to see her hurt." His voice was soft and sad. "I've seen her that way a few times and each time it scares the life out of me. Ever since I realized I loved her, I also realized how much it bothered me to see anything happen to her. I get upset over a hang nail when it comes to her."
He looked up to see a slight upturn of Paul's mouth and felt himself smile in return for a second. "I know that sounds silly but that's the way it is. I try not to show it. She's an awfully independent woman and she hates for me to hover over her or treat her like she's made of glass or something. But sometimes, I can't help it. Of course that doesn't mean I've always been there to keep her from getting hurt or what ever. This badge doesn't often leave me the time to do that. But when I can, I try hard to be there, to make sure no one comes near her that would harm her."
Paul looked at him questionably and somehow Matt knew what he was asking. "Yeah, I know. I can't protect her from everything. But I can try. You know there's been quite a few times that I've thought about just chucking everything, grabbing her and just taking off. Just leaving the frontier all together and taking her some place where nobody could hurt her or me either."
Matt looked down with a mournful sigh. "But I keep remembering the reason I do what I do and then I get so confused and... I want to do what's best for her, for us and this badge but they're not all three the same and… and…" He shook his head. "I don't know. There are times like this that I truly have no idea what should come first."
Paul, one last time, opened the oft read book and quickly turned the pages. When he found what he wanted, he stepped over to Matt and placed it in front of him. As before, he pointed directly to a passage and then patted Matt on the arm. Leaving him to read it, he stepped over to Kitty and wiped her fevered brow again with the cool wet cloth while he let Matt read.
Matt studied him for a moment, still not sure why he trusted this stranger so implicitly, especially around Kitty. But there was something about him that Matt just knew was pure goodness and he did. Finally, he turned his eyes back to the bible and looked down at the passage that Paul had pointed out to him.
TBC