Title: May you Live in Interesting Times
Author: Aoichibi
Beta: xl3utterflyx
Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto copyrights. (;.;)
Summary: Life as a ninja should be full of awesome kill-you-with-a-touch jutsu, powerful friends, and awe inspiring battles where the good guy always win, right? Wrong! It has a deceased mother, suicidal father, a rule obsessed bastard of a brother and the war looming over our heads is not helping matters. Survival is the key. Self-Insert.
Author's Notes 1: Once more THANK YOU everybody who reviewed and those who sent their love through favorites and followings. ChibiKisses to all.
Author's Notes 2: Thank you for all those 'get well soon' comments! They really warmed my heart!
Back to The Accident: Well, for those that questioned I was not the one driving, I was in the frontal passenger seat. My arm is better (it was broken in three different places, wrist included) and I can finally type things. Btw, I'm now the proud owner of a few metal pins and bars, going into the bank became a fucking nightmare! Bloody metal detectors!.
Author's Notes 3: The poll is now closed. As per your wishes Mitsuki will have summons! I have an idea of what I will do.
Author's Notes 4: On another topic, a few people asked me about paring for this fic… Well, it has none as of yet, BUT when time comes Mitsuki pair shall be older than Naruto & cia but not much older than Kakashi himself (and NO it shall not be Kakashi, it just wouldn't work in this) and also shall not be anyone married in the original series. So respecting those limits ANYONE is fair game, be they male OR female. So having all this in mind, who would be your 'ideal' pair for her? Tell me!
Author's Notes 5: A VERY BIG THANKS to Nil River, for being an awesome person!
Edited in: 15/11/14
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May you Live in Interesting Times
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Chapter 04:
A Hatake life IV
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It's almost Kakashi's birthday – next week in fact, was the unconnected thought that came into my mind while I sat in my bed waiting for my brother so we could do our nighttime ritual. How it became a ritual, I do not know, but it was probably after the day of the 'dojo fiasco', when I discovered that I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw those goddamned targets… but in place of the faceless paintings was Daddy's face and Kakashi's and 'mother's' and mom's and Tsunade's and other random people I saw around Konoha, the rare times dad took us out of the house.
Constant nightmares at night and non-stop thoughts during the day. Lovely.
My mind wouldn't let me rest. Every. Single. Free. Freaking. Minute. It would remind me that I could not decide what I would do about it all. With all my knowledge of all that was to come, should I actively interfere in the history of things or should I live my life and let things flow their course?
I mean, who was I to play God? I shouldn't even exist! As far as I knew Kakashi didn't have a sister in the original anime series, or at least she didn't appear. Or I just didn't remember, maybe she wasn't important?
Which brought me a completely new set of questions.
If she originally existed, what did she do? Did she die? If so, how was she killed? Hell, was she even a ninja?
What if she didn't exist? Then I was the wild card – every little thing I did could change everything! What about my future genin team? I could, just by being, break up an important pre-existing team! Hell, I could be changing things even now!
What was I to do? What was I going to do with my life?
Was I going to be a civilian or a ninja?
If the former, then what would I work on? Would I study International Law again? Or do something completely new and go try the theater; be an actress or something? Even more importantly, did I have the strength to throw away my whole family history and way of life? If I didn't, then what kind of ninja should I have been? A powerful taijustsu expert? Or a ninjustsu based ninja? Kenjutsu was also a possibility...
Would I sacrifice strength for speed? Or speed for strength? Flexibility for more brute power? Would I use illusions or in-your-face-gigantic-fire-ball kind of attacks? What should I take on as my goals? ANBU? Hunter-nin? Medic? Spy? Teacher? Interrogator? A Tracker? Hokage? Gate guard? Paper pusher? What?
Should I follow in Kakashi's footsteps and become a user-of-many-arts-but-master-of-none kind of a ninja? I just couldn't decide what way I should lead my life. It was a matter of life or death... literally.
I was not even two yet and was already turning into an insomniac.
Just great.
Why? Oh, why couldn't I have been reborn in a simpler world? One where people dying and war wasn't a common occurrence?
Like... like 'Pokémon world', for one? I can take care of pets! Hell, if I could switch Konoha for Kanto my Pokémon team would be the most spoiled and best taken care of in the whole damn universe! I swear!
If not Pokémon then... well... Saint Seiya? No, I'm not too keen on fighting Gods head on even if the armors were the coolest thing ever... err... Dragon ball? Also a big NO, even if people do get resurrected constantly... Rurouni Kenshin? No, not about to die from leprosy or whatever the hell killed Kenshin in the end thankyouverymuch... Fairy Tail? Nope, people die there too... huum... Inuyasha? Hell NO. Forget toilets outside the house there wouldn't be any toilets... Gundan Wing? No, there is war there too... Death Note? Errr, no good either – I'm not that smart or crazy, for that matter... Full Metal Alchemist? No, war left, right and center there also... One Piece? No, I'm not about to live on a tiny little ship for days on end out of my own free will and people die there too... Kuroshitsuji? Hell no! I'm not about to sell my freaking soul thankyouverymuch…!
HELL, isn't there any anime world where there is no war, battles or maybe where people do not bloody fucking DIE before they hit forty?!
My crazy thoughts were interrupted by my bedroom door sliding open and the small form of my brother slipping in.
He came closer; I could see his big, dimpled, smile because of the night light beside my crib – Yes, I sleep on a crib, so what?! As he slid the chosen book of the night between the wooden bars of the aforementioned crib, I could see it was the same one from yesterday. One about the adventures of a summon dragon and his search for the worthy human that would wield his contract and summon him in battle and the test he put the poor bastards of candidates through, or something along those lines, translation was still rough going – not a book that should be in the hands of kids our age I think, but father didn't seem to be bothered by it. I did not hold any expectations that he did not know about our little 'book club'. But for some reason he also didn't interfere. Maybe it was the way of ninja parents letting their kids have a sense of independence or something.
What would a toddler do with independence or even need independence for that matter, I do not know...
I stopped thinking when Kakashi put his right foot on the crib railing and frowned in concentration, his left foot following as he started to walk up the wooden frame. I was, as always, stunned by it: at how easily he defied and completely disregarded gravity. It was baffling to see the toddler walking straight up – and now down – something, doing this amazing thing that "normal" people could not do, that I could not do. Yet.
I'm jealous of a toddler…
I think I just hit a new low…
He lay down and arranged the book so that it would get the most light while I plopped my head on his belly, closed my eyes and waited, enjoying the soothing way that my head would rise and fall along with his breathing. Finally, when he got everything as perfect as he wanted, fussy kid, he started to read.
Crazy world aside, I liked my new family.
-XXX-
I was a kid, a toddler – I should've been playing about, laughing really loudly, painting the walls and making messes all over the place, as is any kid's job.
But noooo, not a Hatake kid.
Hatakes do not play. We train.
No normal playing for us. I was starting to see why Kakashi had become so antisocial.
So here we were, cleaning the house again, such a joy of an activity… the enormous living room this time.
It was real hard work to clean the traditional way without any implement other than that piece of funny smelling, folded cloth. Having to go back and forth from one end to the other in that bent over position and doing all that while running because daddy wouldn't let us slow the fuck down until we were actually panting for breath on trembling arms and legs.
Yeah daddy… I love you to bits but I would so like to punch you in the balls right now.
Kakashi was concentrating hard as always, bare feet hitting the wooden floor lightly as he went as fast as his little legs could carry him. Sweat was starting to run down his brow. I could see the muscle definition on him, – hell, I could see it on me, andwe were toddlers for goodness sake! – The beginnings of what would turn into lean, long and powerful muscles.
I would scream child abuse and slave labor if daddy wasn't right there with us. I was pretty sure that if I was any other toddler and Kakashi was not the genius he is, Sakumo's method of child rearing would not have worked.
Like at all.
But as we were not normal kids, whatever the fucking hell daddy thought he was doing was working wonders. I was stronger, faster, more balanced, and aware of the things around me so I would not go head first into whatever was in my path again and freak my brother out to near tears again. I could go on like this for half an hour without having to take big brakes.
Ya know about those films from 'Before'? The ones that the master makes whoever wants to learn whichever martial art to do all the housework like a slave without an apron?
All. God. Damned. True.
I was startled out of my thoughts from a light smack at my upraised bottom as dad sped down past me – Sakumo's way of telling you that the break is over and to speed the fuck up already.
Yeah, I feel no pressure, daddy dearest. None at all.
-XXX-
Today was an exciting day!
I was supposed to meet a very important person: my godmother! That one person that is supposed to take care of you, if something happens to daddy – God forbid – so you don't end up in Konoha's version of an orphanage.
That woman who, incidentally, was my father's teacher, his genin sensei and former ANBU captain, all rolled up in one pretty package.
Daddy showed me a picture (black and white, by the way) of his genin team, composed of a dark eyed female with a pinned up, dark hair, and oddly enough, three light haired males. I had no idea why they did not have a female teammate and dad offered no explanation whatsoever. Maybe it just wasn't that important? One of his team mates seemed to be a few years older than him and the other one just a tad older than dad. It was so odd seeing daddy that young, he should be somewhere around nine or eight in that picture.
Back to my godmother, her name is Koharu. And (as far as I know) is the person responsible for letting father have a work leave so damn long that it was approximating the one and half years mark.
Summarizing: she was a very strong and politically important person.
And I wanted to impress her so very badly.
I had never gone through this before, having this pressure to make someone important like you, unless it was a boy I was interested in. And I didn't think that looking cute was going to cut it this time. Worse, being pretty could very well count as a negative point! She was a seasoned ninja, a survivor, and I didn't think that beauty was very high in her list of 'must haves' – if there was a list at all.
I had no idea who this Koharu person actually is. All my knowledge of the 'Naruto World', and when I need it, it fails me.
Who in high heavens was this woman?
As if answering my thoughts I heard the metal whining of the front gates and not long after that, the swish of the front door as daddy opened it to let in an aged woman.
My mouth hit the floor, wait a damn minute. I knew that woman! It was her. The old lady friend of the Third Hokage! She was important wasn't she? His old team mate maybe? I couldn't remember, why couldn't I remember?
... What… Just what?
"Koharu-sensei, be welcome," daddy said with a soft smile.
My eyes went wide.
You gotta be fucking kidding me!
-XXX-
It was a good day, not too hot or too cold. I was laying down on fathers lap; the wind softly touching my skin, daddy's hand caressing my hair absently minded and the comfortable sound of the wind chimes were lulling me into a light dose.
The day had gone without a hitch; Koharu was not the seven-headed dragon that I feared. She had visited me in the hospital just after I was born… (hey, who knew? My memories of those days are so fuzzy, I couldn't see or even hear well, pitiful really...) She was stern and did ask for a kunai throwing demonstration – it seemed that daddy had babbled – which had me going into that thrice-damned dojo again. I hit the targets again –four times, by the way, missed one tough. Three out of four isn't so bad. I think.– once again no bull's eye, but somehow my body remembered every little detail of what Kakashi had showed me the first time around, how to position my body and rotate my wrist. She did not make any comments but did smile. Scary.
"You are at peace…" Koharu broke the comfortable silence, after she took a sip from her cup of tea.
"Hum?" Father lowered his own cup.
"You made peace with yourself again… last time I saw that expression on your face was the day you told me you would marry Naomi."
Father smiled softly, a hint of sadness in his eyes.
"Naomi was something else, wasn't she sensei?"
"'Too much soul for too little a body' I always said."
Father's smile was almost a grin this time.
"When are you going to drop that 'sensei' Sakumo?"
"Probably… never." The grin had a impish quality to it now. The woman just shook her head as if fondly saying 'you are a lost cause'.
Another long, peaceful silence followed with the adults sipping their tea and with me almost nodding off again.
"There are rumors of unrest," Koharu said suddenly with a low voice.
Father sat up a little straighter, his brow frowning a bit.
"You have been away from the field for a long time, maybe too long, I would start to shake the dust off if I were you," she said, not unkindly.
"I see… how long do I have?" Daddy's frown became more pronounced.
She didn't answer, but took two scrolls from her Kimono sleeve and gave them to Sakumo.
One of them disappeared into father's clothing as if never had existed in the first place – it was not the first time I saw daddy doing the disappearing act, but damn it, how did he do that? The second one stayed in his hand. One eyebrow went up.
"I saw your boy training more than just a few times, he is better than most already…"
Father eyes widened.
"I see…"
"You are doing well, Sakumo…" her eyes turned to me, "…Very well indeed."
With that cheerful comment, she excused herself and left.
Father stayed with that scroll tightly griped in his hand and looking at the sky for the rest of the afternoon.
There was a storm that night. Complete with howling winds and cracking thunder.
How fitting.
-XXX-
"Onii-tan...?"I asked the almost asleep boy.
"Humm?" was the lazy answer.
"What is c'ak'a?"
"Chakra is the energy that makes everything alive, it's everywhere," said Kakashi like he was quoting someone, – I would guess daddy – emphasizing the misspoken word so I could grasp the pronunciation a bit better.
"Oh... you use c'akra to walk up the walls and stuff..." I more stated than asked.
"Yes?" he moved a bit, dislodging my head from its perfect perch on his stomach. I grumbled at him and after making myself comfortable again I continued.
"How you use chak'a?"
"Before using chakra, you have to feel it," once again he stressed the word I had mispronounced.
"And how I feel it?" I gave up on the damn word; it just didn't want to be spoken right.
"You have to really concentrate on your body, and then you will feel it. It's like a warm river inside of you."
"... And after?"
"Then you have to choose one hand and try to make that river flow to that hand. If you get everything right your hand should glow blue."
I was too deep in the memories of my first few months in this world to properly answer him. His next words made me frown though…
"Just go to sleep, Tanpopo, you are too young to try it yet..." he had fallen asleep.
Damn I wanted to ask more questions.
Warm river... warm... warm stuff… glow blue… blue… warm blue stuff…? huum... maybe... I will show you 'too young', mister genius.
Six days of secret training; almost passing out; tears of frustration; actually passing out and a lot of sweat later; I was laughing like a mad woman...
My right hand was glowing on and off like a firefly – and just in time for mister genius's birthday too!
-XXX-
Kakashi's birthday was today. And surprises of all surprises, we were going to have a party! Today! I almost fell off the stairs when I saw daddy putting a big –like really freaking big – cake into the kitchen yesterday.
It was the first time we would be having a party. I mean, before daddy would make a huge fuss and stuff us with presents – yes, both of us. It didn't matter whose birthday it was – and take pictures and all that doting parent business, but never a full out party. And I was sure we would have a party, 'cause there was no way in hell we would be able to eat that huge cake all by ourselves!
I was propped up on a pillow in the living room, playing with the first present of the day – a 'connect the dots and paint the figure' kind of child book… Yay…not… it helped my boredom at least. The book was quite thick and ninja themed of course, with lots of kunai, shuriken, the most famous summon animals (which in Konoha were slugs, toads, snakes, dogs, cats, bugs and monkeys or so said my bother – what bugs were doing in there I do not know, but they were) Konoha symbols, one of which could have been an ANBU tattoo with an added four dots in the center. That page had something written at the bottom, but as I did not know how to read quite yet so that was as useful as a paper bag in a storm.
Which means, not at all.
So I passed the ANBU page and started connecting the dots on a picture of what I think may be a cat, with an old fashioned pencil – not the automatic ones I was used to, but an honest to God wooden pencil – when a big shadow fell on me, thinking it was daddy I raised my head…wait. A. Damn. Minute.
Black eyes: check, fair skin: double check, male: triple check, white hair: not check, red stripes going down face: not. Bloody. Check.
I screamed.
Next thing I know I was being cradled in warm, muscled arms with the smell that my brain labeled as 'daddy' enveloping me. I stopped screaming and started sniffling.
"Darn it Jiraiya don't you know how to knock?!"
Ah, so that was Jiraiya, hum, thought he would be older. But then again we are almost thirty years before he appears on TV. How old would he be now? Twenty five? Thirty? And why the flying fucks do I remember him but not Koharu oba-sama?
"Kami-sama, that kid has one healthy pair of lungs. What did you say, Sakumo? I think I went deaf," said the now named Jiraiya while shaking his head and cradling his ears.
"Got what you deserved," Daddy grumbled. "Well done kiddo, when faced with a possible enemy sound the alarm" Sakumo smiled at me nodding, was I actually supposed to understand what the heck he just said? Seriously smaller words people. Smaller.
"Oi! Tsunade said you had a new kid, I was just curious to see it."
"Her."
"Pardon?"
"Mitsuki is a she," daddy stressed.
They got interrupted by a soft knock and the sound of the front door sliding open. Daddy turned his body, putting the door in my direct line of sight. There stood a blond haired female and a long, dark haired male, both holding packages and baskets.
My brain stopped. I would recognize those golden, purple lined eyes anywhere… what the hell was Orochimaru doing here? And why were my memories of him not fuzzy at all? He led that invasion on the village didn't he?
"What has that moron done now? We heard screaming." asked an annoyed Tsunade.
"Hey now…!"
"Scared Mitsuki half to death," Daddy said as if Jiraiya hadn't spoken.
"Aw, are you alright baby? Did that mean dumb toad scare you?" Tsunade cooed at me.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, still don't know how to use a door, Jiraiya? How old are you again?"
"Shut up! Snakey."
"I told you enough times to stop with those imbecilic nick names."
"Enough you two! There is a child present!" Tsunade tried to tone down her two team mates.
The bickering of those three was interrupted by two laughs coming from the door. A small, brown haired, little girl around Kakashi's age holding the hand of a lavender haired man, carrying a basket in one hand. Father sighed.
"Dan*, little Shizune, good morning." He said, coming closer to the new comers while the other three squabbled behind us.
"Hello there, Sakumo. Haven't see you in the hospital in quite a while," the Dan person said with a teasing smile.
"Ah yes. I have been away from the field for a long time now, haven't I…?" Daddy said, a bit sheepishly.
The person laughed, he had a nice enough smile, but what man would be caught dead with lavender hair? His dark blue eyes were cute though. Where was his head band? Everybody in this house with their age in the double digits had a head band! Just look at the three squabbling idiots over there. So dad knew a civilian? How interesting, he does look like the boy on daddy's gennin team picture though, maybe a relative?
"And who is this?"
"This is Mitsuki. Say hello, baby."
" 'ello," I parroted and stuck out my little digits for a handshake… it paid to be polite sometimes.
The guy chuckled but shook my hand. Yeah, the guy was cool in my books. The one with golden snake eyes, on other hand, wasn't.
"Hello, I'm Shizune," the little girl in Dan's arms said, sticking her hand out for me. I took it and replied with a "I' Mit'uki". I needed to speak better, and quickly… seriously... like yesterday... I heard an 'aww' in a female voice, coming from behind us.
I wonder just who this Shizune is. Was she important? Maybe not, I didn't remember her after all. Then again I was getting more and more certain that something just wasn't all that right with my head. "Hiruko** didn't come with you?"
Who?
"No, he said he had something urgent to do in R&D."
"That guy, honestly." dad shook his head.
"And where is the birthday boy?"
"He should be… ah, there he is. Kakashi come and say 'hi', kiddo." Kakashi was walking down the stairs with the air of a child posing as an adult.
…Hum, that needed to be changed… fast…no bother of mine was going to be a stick in the mud. They are boring.
I wiggled to be let down from daddy's arms and watched as Kakashi complimented everybody and thanked them for coming. I waited for my brother to come closer and start to talk to Dan, and positioned myself, wiggled my butt and finally pounced on him.
"'APPY BIRT'DAY KAKAS'I!" I screamed in his ear as we went crashing down onto the floor. He lay splayed out on the floor with me seated on top of him. Then a small hand entered my field of vision and patted Kakashi softly on his wild hair.
"Happy birthday," Was the little girls, Shizune, calmer greeting.
My brother went beet red in the face and… "Tanpopo! Geroff me!" he whined, I smiled. This time I would let that damned nickname slid. This time.
After that everybody started laughing. Yes, even Orochimaru and his creepy 'kukuku's (Shivers).
And then Jiraiya had to pipe up, "Wait a minute, I thought her name was Mitsuki?"
My eyebrow twitched. It had to be Jiraiya, it just had to.
After that no one called me by my name anymore. Damn you, father! And your creativity!
-XXX-
Frankly the Hatake house had an excess of doors, the dining room alone had three; one leading to the kitchen, another to the living room and the last one lead outside to the grassy back grounds (which was where we were). That one was wide open and showed the low table full of food. The cake in the middle, with a lot of weird food around it and a lot of small, white bottles. Tsunade was gulping them down as if they were water, but I had the funny feeling that they were sake. Odd.
I was in Dan's lap, being tickled, while Kakashi, Shizune, Jiraiya and Dad played with a soft white ball. Tsunade was seated on the grassy ground drinking and that creepy Orochimaru was seated on the veranda eating a fried something while looking at the ball game with a puzzled expression.
A peaceful afternoon all around, which in this house is not to last, so…
Everybody stilled as the front gate doors slammed open and a female voice screamed at the top of a very healthy set of lungs.
"WE ARE HERE! AND WE BRING RAMEN 'TTEBANE!"
Oddly enough, after that, everybody relaxed.
I twitched.
A red whirlwind appeared and letting a basket drop on the floor near a bemused Orochimaru, proceed to pounce on daddy's back. Daddy didn't move.
"SAKUMO-SENSEI!"
"Yare, yare. Do you truly need to be so loud, Kushina-chan?"
"But sensei, I haven't seen you in ages!" Whined the mass of red.
"We're sorry, sensei. We tried to hold her back," said a black haired, black eyed teenager in a soft voice and a small smile. She stood beside a brown haired and eyed male with a Bo-staff strapped on his back and a sheepish expression.
"Mikoto-chan, Shiyou-kun***, I appreciate your efforts," Daddy said, turning around with a beautiful smile.
Well, I think I just met my father's genin team, even if they don't look like kids anymore (in their mid to late teens, I would guess).
"Sakumo-san, I'm sorry to intrude. Kushina dragged me here and those two wouldn't help me get free," said another male, pointing with his thumb to Mikoto and Shiyou.
"Matters not, Minato. The more the merrier, or so people say."
"Thank you, Sakumo-san. Jiraiya-sensei, I didn't know you were in town," said the sunshine haired teen-aged male (yes, if we were able to make sunshine touchable it would be in that guy's hair) with the most beautiful smile ever. Starting a conversation with the toad.
You know about those childhood crushes? That ones that mothers just love to coo over? Yeah, I think I just got mine. Damn.
Goddamn it, he is beautiful.
The red mass blinked at me and spoke (still attached to daddy's back like an overgrown and overly-red koala).
"Oi, Dan-san, is that yours?"
Should I be offended at being referred as a 'that'? I feel like I should.
"No, Kushina-san. This is Hatake Mitsuki, Sakumo's daughter."
"EEEEEEHHHHHHHH?" Were the red mass's, Mikoto, Shiyou and The-Blond-God reactions.
Yes, behold my amazing existence. You can all kneel and kiss my chubby little feet's now.
My self-promoting thoughts were interrupted by the 'red mass' that was suddenly in my face.
Sweet baby Jesus did this woman have every single shade of red in her hair? 'Red mass' is red.
Then there were three faces in my field of vision all of sudden.
"She does look like sensei, doesn't she?" said Mikoto softly.
"As if Kakashi wasn't enough of a carbon copy, sensei had to go and get another mini-me. I just hope this one is not a 'genius' as well," grumbled Shiyou.
Why, thank you mister nobody, at least people will know who I am just by looking at me. What about you? Where the hell did you come from? Hm? I thought snarly to myself.
And then an arm sneaked around 'mister nobody's' neck.
"What did you just said about my kids, Sarutobi Shiyou?"
"Nothing bad sensei, I swear! I was just remarking about their similarity to your almighty person. Have mercy sensei."
I could swear the guy was going to cry right there. Daddy wasn't that scary… was he?
"I see…" Daddy smiled, eyes curving into little inverted 'U's. Shiyou shivered.
I laughed and daddy smiled got wider and less sharp.
"Well, look who is enjoying the show," he picked me up from a laughing Dan's lap "Likes seeing newly minted jounin being put in their places, don't you, baby?" He blew a raspberry into my belly and I shrieked. "My precious little Tanpopo-chan," I stopped laughing.
He might as well rename me already, darn it!
Daddy didn't quite notice my mutinous face as he bent a bit to the right and caught Kakashi in mid-jump. Putting all of us cheek to cheek, with Sakumo squished in the middle. He said, "Aren't my kids just the cutest?" We all gave big smiles with our eyes curving into these 'U's. Behind my eyelids I saw a sudden flash of light – and heard the accompanying 'puff' sound – and knew that someone had taken a picture.
"That…was a bit creepy… 'ttebane," Kushina said, a bit white faced, while her two team mates nodded.
"Well, what do you know; humans do reproduce by mitosis, how fascinating" piped a baffled Orochimaru, who shook his head and continued, "I have to go, duty calls." He then pointed at a small bird in the sky.
I was boggled. How in the hell did that mean something? How did he know that it wasn't just some random bird, but an actual message?
Everybody else nodded and began to say their farewells to Mr. Creep. When he was finally gone, muscles I didn't even know I had tensed began to slowly unwind.
Ha! Who knew, I had a 'pedo-bear' alert! Useful little thing that. I need to pay more attention to those muscles. No hickeys for me. No sir-ee.
Later that day, I was running about with Kakashi and Shizune (who by the way was a very smart little girl, not genius smart, but smart nonetheless), when I ran straight into the back of someone's legs (very hard legs, I might add, what are they made of, mister? Concrete?) My hands went up in automatic reaction. Ouch, my nose!
"Hey there. Did you hurt yourself, little one?" a soft, male voice asked. Warm hands going under my armpits, picking me up and starting to walk.
No, you crazy idiot! Your legs gave my nose a massage! What the hell do you think?! Damn bastard had brick for legs! I think I broke my nose.
I raised my head…
…To look straight into the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I had ever seen. I had never understood the sentence 'sky blue eyes', until then. Hot damn.
"Tsunade-san, Mitsuki-chan seems to have hurt herself."
Is it possible for a human being to melt? I think I was.
"Really now? Let's see."
Sometimes it pays to know a medic.
While Tsunade checked my nose over and I was busy melting in Minato's nice muscled set of arms, daddy approached with the Toad in town.
"Tsunade, is Tanpopo-chan alright?" Father asked with a weird look that spoke of more than just worry about a small hurt.
"No problem at all; just a bump." The medic answered, shaking her head in his direction while tickling me.
What is with these people and tickling me? Damn it! Leave my belly alone already!
"Scenting? Like the Inuzukas?" Jiraiya said to Sakumo, continuing their previous conversation.
"How many times do I have to tell you to not compare the Clans, Jiraiya?" Daddy asked a bit peeved.
"Aaahahaha. Sorry Sakumo." Cue head scratch.
"Honestly, it's like comparing the Byakugan with the Sharingan! The only thing they have in common is that they are both Doujutsu!"
"I said sorry already!" Jiraiya was almost pouting.
"But to answer you annoying questions the abilities are pretty close related we don't have the ability to hold onto a 'scent memory' forever thou. But on the plus side we get more companions and we are more adaptable."
What did you just say? Can you repeat that using smaller words? I don't think I got it all. Sweet baby Jesus I need to learn this language already!
"Ah! Those blasted summons of yours!" complained Jiraiya.
"You say that only because you don't get on well with Yuuhei." Daddy argued.
"Don't get on well? That damned flea bag hates me!" he grumbled.
"Maybe if you didn't insult him he would like you better, hum?"
"Shall we go and eat, everybody?" said Mikoto diffusing the argument.
Wait. There. Just. A. Damn. Minute. What was that about summons? Gah! I need a better grasp on this language! Why didn't I know it? I mean come on. I'd lived there for almost two years already and I haven't seen one animal around or in this house! How come? Are they invisible or something?
My thoughts were interrupted by someone's voice very near my ears…
"Is your nose better now, Mitsuki-chan?"
I looked at Minato's face while nodding my head with a smile.
Then an idea struck me.
Should I?
Would I get away with it?
What the heck am I thinking? Of course I was going to get away with it! I was a toddler, I could get away with murder at this age… well, maybe not murder 'cause ninja village and all that stuff, but still.
I went for it and planted a big wet kiss on Minato's cheek that made a 'smack' sound.
"T'anks" I chirped
I fell his whole body still and stiffen for a few seconds, the arm holding me to his body never wavering, before he awkwardly scratched the back of his head with his other arm, a smile on his face.
"Ahh, there is no need for thanks, Tanpopo-chan," he softly kissed the top of my head. "It was my fault you got hurt."
Yep, I can die happy now. I won't even care about the nickname from hell.
Tough I am quite sure I was redder than Red's hair.
Heh, I can cross that out of my list of 'things to do before you die'.
We sat down on the cushions around the low table; people were still teasing Minato about the thank you kiss. Father was threating him with a lawsuit and Jiraiya telling him that he should aim a tad older. I noticed the weird foods on top of it… many fish, some short of dumplings, tons of ramen pots, rice by the bucket full, a basket of eggs and another one of fruits, the only normal 'birthday party' food was the cake.
I was settled on a double cushion near daddy. He put a small bowl in front of me filled with a small portion of rice, than a plastic cup of juice, and fish cut up in small pieces. He then put a pair of hachis in my hand and told me to go for it.
I despaired
Hachis… the bane of my existence, damn it why couldn't he give me a spoon! I was good with then… those damned little wood stick on other hand I was not. Even if they are tied at the end for a easier use. a toddlers hand coordination just wasn't the best… maybe that was the point? Humn.
"Do you want an egg Mitsuki-chan?"
I nodded absentminded and Kakashi passed me an egg.
How odd, it was cold and the shell was a tad too hard to peel.
Kakashi chuckled and true to his caring older brother persona, he said.
"Like this Imotou" he then proceeded to hit the egg he had on hand on the side of his bowl, then broke it on top of his rice, put a little bit of soy sauce and mixing the whole thing with his hachis until the rice was a brownish yellow mess and a lot sticky.
Not very appetizing... really.
Made all the little hairs on my body stand on end. Yes, the hair on my head included. I'm pretty sure I looked like a, odd colored, spooked porcupine.
Oh. My. Fucking. God
That is a raw egg
Kakashi had the raw egg on his rice…
Raw
He…
He ate it!
I'm gonna puke…
As I puked my guts out on someone legs and lap I heard someone else -that I was pretty sure that was Kushina- pipe up with such a hilarious comment…
"I don't think she likes egg."
She is a comedian that girl… NOT!
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To be continued…
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A/N: Who saw that one coming? Koharu! XD
QUESTION: If you could be reborn in an anime universe, which one would you choose and WHY?
*Yes, I messed with time lines, but then again it was never clear when Dan died.
**Who can guess who this is?
***Shiyou is another form to say foliage
Poor Mitsuki…There is always something popping her happy bubble.
QUESTION: Do you truly like Japanese cuisine? I'm talking about the whole thing – raw eggs, sweet beans, red paste and the like- not only sushis and sashimis…?