Alone - Angst, Sadness

Trigger Warning - Thoughts of Suicide, Blood, etc.

Characters -

»Lucas Wahl

/A.N./if you don't like sad things please skip!/

Death was only an option to those who wanted it. For those who didn't have the strength to continue, physically or mentally. For those who feared life because they feared screwing it up.

And Lucas definitely had that option in his window.

Lucas's constant smile and happy-go-lucky attitude was a thick curtain masking the truth. He didn't feel comfortable in his own skin. Hell, he'd been Fernando for his whole freshman year. He thought nobody would like him for him, and in his mind, he was abso-damn-lutely right.

All the joking shoves, all the insults, all the glares from the big man. The big man he looked up to at work, the big man he sought to impress. That hurt him the most. Henry was his hero, and it crushed his heart to see that he'd failed his hero.

Angry thoughts battled the good in his head. He lay in bed, looking up at the white popcorn ceiling. The demons in his mind were back, and they wouldn't give up without a fight. He shut his eyes, resisting the urge to scream. Get–out–of–my–head!

He got up and dug through a drawer of his old possessions. And, wham, there it was. His pulse sounded in his ears as he hesitated. The demons ate away at his sanity, bringing back all the bad memories. He got a lump in his throat and his eyes burned. "Stop!" he screamed, snatching it from the drawer and collapsing on the bed in a fetal position. Hot tears ran down his cheek.

He calmed himself down. When he calmed down, the demons calmed down, and he wanted them out. His head pounded as he dragged himself to the bathroom. Sweat formed on his forehead. Should he really...? The demons said yes. His sanity, whatever of it was remaining, screamed no. But screams never helped. He knew.

The pain was sweet as it was calming. He deserved it. He deserved to die. He deserved to die in the fieriest pits of hell. But still, it ached. The scarlet tinge and metallic scent was flooding him. And he enjoyed it.

There were sobs, but the tally marks did not cause it. This was how he let himself go. He then calmed himself down again. The demons were almost gone, evicted from his mind after the pain was gone. He grabbed the bandages and wrapped them around his left arm. They'd be there until next time. Next time he decided to let himself go.

Before he finished, however, he left a permanent reminder in his right arm. A permanent reminder that he'd never be like the others. Five simple letters that made him feel like the most vulnerable being on the planet.

ALONE.

/A.N./Wow, guys. Jfc. I hope you enjoyed this because I almost cried writing it aah/