Author's note: fun fact: I type most of these chapters on the notes app on my phone, then email them to myself so I can edit it on my computer and post them.

Elena woke, turning on her cell phone. She had missed calls from Sam and Dean multiple times over the night.
"Why are you doing this to me?" She whispered, tears falling onto the pillow.
She remembered Nicole's request to hear about her life, and Elena quickly got dressed and out the door. She wasn't about to explain a Hunter to her. She'd freak out and become super paranoid that something was going to come after her.
She decided to go shopping. What else was she going to do? The nearest clothing store was "rags before riches". It was a thrift store, but she didn't mind. Anything to get her away from the house.
She pulled into the parking lot after about five minutes of drive time. The door made a small jingling sound as the door hit the bell.
She strolled along, sorting through the clothes. Her fingers brushed along the different fabrics until she came to the end of the row, then she started the same process over on the other side, pulling apart the hangers to see the different shirts. She completely skipped over the lather and plaid sections knowing she'd be hurting herself for no god damn reason.
Her eyes traveled up to the door as the bell jingled again, and she instantly ducked down, internally freaking out. Sam and Dean had just walked into the store. She desperately hoped they didn't know she was here, and she crawled in between the clothing racks, ducking in the enclosed space between the hanger racks. Clothes blocked most of her view, but she had a good view of Dean's pants and shoes, moving slowly around the shop. A gap in the clothes let her see his face, him looking around for something. She spotted Sam, who met eyes with Dean and nodded after looking down at his phone.
We're they meeting someone here?
The cashier watched them both suspiciously, but then shrugged it off. They slowly moved towards the aisle she was in, walking directly towards her hiding spot. They still looked around, so they still haven't seen her.
They met on separate sides of the aisle, looking at each other across the rack. She was tucked between them, slowing her breathing.
"I thought you said she was here?" Dean asked, sounding annoyed.
Sam looked down at his phone. "This is where her phone is. Think it's in the pocket of something?"
Dean looked around the shop one more time.
They really were trying to find her. Her heart rate quickened and she tried to hold completely still.
"Dean, maybe she dropped it here. I told you it might not be her."
"No, Sammy. She has to be here." He didn't see her, but he tried to give himself hope. "Are you sure it's directly here?"
"Yeah. Let me call her, I'll check if we can hear it."

She watched Sam dialing the number, and was suddenly grateful for silent modes on phones.

"Yeah, says she's directly here." He muttered. "Check the pockets of some of the clothes."
They started looking for pockets to search in the clothing. It was a relatively slow process, and Dean ended up dropping a shirt on the ground. Elena began to inch away, towards Sam. Her hand went out to push herself away from Dean, when his hand brushed hers as he bent to pick up the shirt. She felt her heart beating in the slight pause that followed. He seemed to be frozen.

Dean suddenly grabbed onto her hand, forgetting about the shirt, and he fell to his knees, diving under the clothing rack and embracing her tightly. Sam, who hadn't noticed Elena, watched and looked around, hoping nobody saw his crazy ass brother.
Elena hadn't moved, even though Dean's arms were around her. He didn't want to kill her? He actually forgave her? He still loved her? He pulled her out into the aisle, slowly standing with her, and she carefully wrapped her arms around him, but couldn't resist, hugging him tighter.
Sam's eyes went wide as he watched Dean pull her out of the clothing rack.
"Elle. I was so god damn worried about you. What the hell were you thinking?"
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm so sorry. Dean. I... I-" she whispered, cutting herself off. Tears were pouting down her face, the guilt tearing into her stomach.
"Elle, what happened?" he mumbled into her ear.
"Dean" She cried, hugging him tighter, her hands clenching into fists around his jacket. The scent of him was comforting as her head rested on his shoulder. He kissed her head, wrapping his arms fully around her.
"Dean... I died... Didn't I?"
He hesitated, remembering how he had reacted, and he hugged her a little tighter as if to make sure she was still there.
They heard Sam laugh happily, and they could practically feel his mood change.
"Why am I alive?" She looked up at him through the tears, afraid.
He pulled down her sleeve slightly, but there was no handprint of an angel.
"I don't know. What do you remember?"
"Nothing." She said, a little too quickly.
"Tell me." He commanded.
She sighed, debating. She finally decided to tell him some of the truth. "Dean, I was in Hell. That's all I know. And I can remember each part of it, perfectly, like its burned into my memory. I've been hallucinating. It was horrible."
"What was your last memory in Hell?"
"I…" The death of each person she cared about, repeated painfully, the meories scorching her.
She remembered their anguished cries as if they were real, and it pained her to recall it.
"What?"
"Dean I don't want to talk about it."
He understood completely.

She reached into his back pocket. Knife, salt… Holywater. She dumped it over his head, then returned to hugging him.

"Good." She whispered. He kept a straight face, though he was slightly annoyed that everyone thought he was a demon.
"Did you see me as a demon?"
She didn't meet his eyes. "Everything scared me, Dean."
He pulled up her chin, making her hazel eyes meet his green ones. "Elle. I swear to you right now. I'm not going back to that thing. You don't have to worry."
His lips traveled to hers, and the sweet moment lasted for what seemed like forever. Sam coughed as they received stares. They could both practically hear him rolling his eyes.
They parted. "I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't know if you were still you, and I thought I'd be hunted or something, since I'm not supposed to be alive. I thought-"
"That for some reason I'd want to hurt you? That I hated you for everything you've ever done? I felt the same way after I went to Hell. And it was all bullshit when I got out."
"Dean, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For everything I did. Shit, I screwed up your life."
"If that's it, then I should be apologizing to you. I made you into a Hunter."
"Shut up. You need to stop blaming everything on yourself. Not everything falls on you." She sighed. "Dean, I love you, but you have too much you're dragging behind you."
He knew she was right, but couldn't bring himself to forgive all the things he did, even when the others around him already did. She kissed him on the cheek, and met Sam half way around the rack.
She rushed into Sam's arms, hugging him tight. The smell of plaid and books were familiar on him, and she knew she was home. She felt his long hair on her face and she blew it away.
"You need to cut it." She laughed, and he looked down at her happily, but also slightly defensive of his hair.
"Yeah. Not going to happen."
"You should let me braid it, Rapunzel."
"Also not going to happen"
They both laughed a little.

"Welcome back" Sam said, his eyes wet, even though he smiled.

She couldn't help but get a lump in her throat, which she swallowed back forcefully.

She looked around. "Cas isn't with you guys?"
The brothers exchanged a glance.
"What happened?" She asked, worried.
"We're not sure." Sam said, and Dean was still silent. "Have you heard from Cas?"

"No." She responded, confused.
"We tried praying, and we even asked Hannah. She told us it was 'confidential', but we think his disappearance had something to do with you."
"How?" She asked, suddenly feeling guilty.
Dean spoke up, "Long story short: I summoned Death and he said the angels wanted you. Turns out you weren't in hell when he came for you, and he told me to ask Cas, who wasn't there."
She nodded. "So, that's it? He's gone?" They began walking towards the exit, and Dean held open the door while they discussed it.
"It doesn't make any sense." Sam said, climbing into the passenger seat of the Impala.
Elena didn't even think about her car. She climbed into the '67s back seat.
"Castiel. If you can hear me, come here now."
Dean and Sam both looked back to her and the seats next to her. They remained empty. They turned back towards the windshield.
"You called?"
"Cas!" Elle dived into his arms, and he hugged her tightly.
"Cas? What the hell, man?" Dean stared surprised into the back seat, and Sam's head snapped around to see the trench-coated angel.
"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. You all needed to hear this."
"So you couldn't have told me sooner?" Dean asked angrily.
"It's not that simple." Cas stated, looking over to Elena's confused expression. "I missed you." He said, and she smiled, planting a light kiss on his cheek. He seemed startled by the affection, even though she did it often.
Dean looked to Elena. "Don't trust him. He didn't respond once except now he suddenly does to you. He needs to explain."
Cas looked back to Dean sadly and opened his mouth to speak.
"Don't you start on that secret bull shit." He said, and looked pointedly at Cas, as if demanding an answer. The angel's eyes flickered over everyone in turn.
"Dean. When you were a demon, there was a reason I was so upset when you were injecting her with your blood."
Dean turned his head, not wanting to meet Elena's gaze. He had sent her to Hell, killed her himself when he did that. He paved that road, and she had no choice but to follow it.
Castiel continued. "There's something amongst beings like myself,, as well as demons. They can be bound by blood. All it takes is one to transfer blood to the other. There's a rule among us to never perform that blood ritual again after the mass effect it had. A demon, Deterrance, he transferred his blood to hundreds of demons, then tried to overthrow Lucifer himself. Every time one of the blood monsters died, they were revived only a day later. Then they returned to the battle. Once Deterrance was killed, all the blood monsters dropped dead, because of the bond. Only a select few survived."
Everyone was listening intently, and Cas seemed reluctant to tell them the last part, even though they already knew.
"Elena is blood-bound to you."
Everyone was silent until Dean broke the quiet.
"Heh. So? She's fine, right?" He asked, his fear visible and audible in his expression and tone.
"If you die, so does she. If you become a demon again, so does she. Dean, if anything happens to you, she's affected as well. The only thing that isn't transferred is sickness injury, but if it's a long-term one, it can harm her negatively. That's the primary function of the Blood-tied. To be invincible slaves, that respond to their master's health."
"Master?" Sam asked, slightly in disbelief.
"Yes. He technically became her blood-bound master. He could control her if he desired."
Dean tried not to focus on controlling her, but after Cas mentioned it, it happened naturally. The edges of his vision became blurred, and he immediately changed the subject.
"So how do we break this blood-bond?" He asked, worry penetrating his shield of bravery.
Dean turned around and started the car, and the click of buckles along with the start of the engine delayed Castiel's answer.
"Well?"
"I'm not sure. The only record would be in the book of Enchion, the story of Deterrance, but I can't get it."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm an angel."
"Then we can get it. We've been to heaven before." Suggested Sam
"The problem is, it isn't in Heaven... Besides, humans can't retrieve the book either." He glanced towards Elena, then as if he felt guilty, he looked away. Dean noticed his glance.
"Hell no. She's not going to get that book alone."
Elena but her lip, then decided. "What would I have to do?"
"Elle." Said Sam, looking over to where Dean sat angrily, glaring at the angel. He was warning her of Dean's possible mood spark, that could occur at any moment.
"If I decided to do this." She added, hoping to appease him.
"You'd have to go back to hell." Castiel answered, his voice full of sadness and guilt. He wished there was another way.
"What?" She asked, incredulous. Dean looked ready to stomp on the brakes and crash just to kill Castiel, and so Sam placed a hand on his shoulder.
"The reason the Angels needed you was so that you could retrieve it for us before you were revived. Unfortunately, we were too late."
"Obviously." Dean replied, frustration and anger forced into the word.
Cas looked up to Dean apologetically, even though he was speaking to Elena. "We'd have to kill you again."
Dean glared into the rear view mirror. "You don't respond to us for days, and when you do return, you want to kill her?"
"She'll be resurrected within 24 hours..." Castiel added, as if that would help.
"You want me to go back there?" Elena mumbled, and everyone turned towards her.
"Elle, don't." Dean told her, taking his eyes off the road for a second.
"Elle. You don't have to do this." Sam offered, "But it's your choice."
Cas looked at her pleadingly. "It's the only way to save you, as well as Dean. That book belongs to Heaven. As of right now we're restricted in some of our powers because of Hell's possession of the book."
Elena looked up at the angel, feeling sympathetic. She knew how it hurt him to see his brothers and sisters in distress. She then looked at Dean, feeling guilty. She had hurt him so much already.
When she looked towards Sam, a hope ran through her. A sudden confidence that it would be alright, no matter what she chose.
"I'll do it."
What had she just said? Could she really face that place again after what happened? What if she came back worse than before?
Castiel nodded, his emotion one of sadness and guilt. Dean's was twisted in rage. "You're not going back, Elle."
"Dean..." Sam said, in a warning tone.
"What, Sammy? You just want me to let her die again?" They reached the motel parking lot and Dean cut the engine swiftly, spinning in his seat to meet Elena's eyes. His green eyes burned demandingly, but behind them was a careful softness, the part if him that was afraid. He was trying to hide it with thick sarcasm and a dick attitude. Elena leaned up and kissed him, and as she began to pull back, he pulled her forward and kissed her for a longer time. "I love you." He said. "I don't want to lose you again."
Castiel cleared his throat, but Dean didn't pay attention. He was only focused on her until Cas said "There is a way for you to watch her progress."
Dean's head moved to face Castiel quickly. "How?"
Sam seemed interested as well, as Cas started speaking. "If we can find a human, any human, they could be a gateway..."
"Where could we find a human willing to do that?"
They were all silent.
"Dean. I know someone. And I was recently staying at their house."
"You mean the 1938 something Boulevard place?"
She nodded, chewing the inside of her gum, hoping Nicole would still be home.
"So we'll go see her tomorrow." Sam said. "Actually, I might go check out the place tonight."
Dean nodded. "Alright. Me and Elle will chill here." He passed the keys to the Impala to Sam, and they got out of the car.
"So, did you show up at that house yesterday?"
"At first. Then we got tired of waiting and just followed the tracker. It was mostly Sam in there, though. I was in the Impala, waiting to go."
"Oh." She tried to imagine Sam and Nicole making small talk, but she couldn't.
"Well let's head back inside." Dean shot a glance around. "Looks like Cas is gone again."
Elena sighed as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "He probably is going to tell the other Angels the plan."
They walked into the motel lobby, and climbed up the stairs to the third floor, and to room 0317.
Dean used the keys to unlock the room, and they laid down in bed, both exhausted.
"I love you, Dean." Elena said, as she was just about unconscious.
"Love you too." He responded, his eyelids falling shut against his eyes.

Elena awoke, a weight on her stomach and chest. She smiled, expecting Dean to be sprawled out across the bed again.
She then opened her eyes, Sam lying on top of her, his body spread horizontally across the bed as if he came in and dropped to the bed, passed out. She slid up to a sitting position so that he was on her legs.
She sniffed, the distinctive smell of alcohol staining him.
"Sam." She whispered, afraid to wake up the Dean next to her. She shook his shoulder "Sam!"
He jumped a little as he woke, then laid his head back down, facing towards her, a blank stare on his face.
She noticed his hair was messy, his shirt buttoned improperly, and put the pieces together, as he began to sit up.
"You banged Nicole!" She accused, and as if to confirm it, Sam got defensive about it.
"What? No. Why would I even- I mean I was grabbing your stuff from her house, she wasn't even home!"

They both knew there was no new things in the motel room, proving that was a lie.
"I bet you got real close when you first came to look for me. Then tonight you planned to meet her for dinner. You drank a whole lot of beer and then you banged my friend." She said, and Sam rubbed his head. "I hope that hangover hurts."
Dean rolled over on top of her arm, and she still had a drunk moose on her lap.
"Nicole was-"
"Don't tell me your sex story, man!"
"I wasn't gonna." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he tried to wake up more fully. He was still drowsy from the rough night. "I was going to say she was willing to help us in any way."
"Did she say that before, or after she slept with you?"
He narrowed his eyes at her and laid back down, his back across her torso. "Sam!" She groaned, pushing on his shoulder blades to get him off of her, extremely difficult while her boyfriend was on top of one of her arms.
He mumbled something about "going back to sleep" and she sighed, giving up.
"Cas." She said aloud, hoping he would answer. "Cas." She repeated, but he didn't show up to help her.
She shut her eyes, bored until she drifted into a short nap. When she woke, Dean was pushing Sam off of her and onto the floor. He then, rolled on top of her, his head resting on her shoulder, and his feet hanging off the bed.
"Mine." He mumbled, still half-asleep as Sam jolted awake, and stood suddenly, looking dizzy.
"Someone still has a hangover." She said, laughing as he looked around, confused, then realized it was Dean that pushed him off. He dragged his feet over to the other bed and slammed down onto the mattress to pass out again.
Dean sighed on her and she struggled to move him, she had almost gotten him off when he wrapped his arms around her, his arms overlapping behind her back.
"I'm awake." He groaned, and she stopped pushing, letting him fall back into her.
"I've been suffocating all night." She complained.
He mumbled something under his breath and it was a while before he moved again, pushing himself up, so he was holding himself up with his arms. He smiled sleepily, and kissed her.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're heavier than he is, and he's taller."
Dean glared down at her in annoyance, then climbed off of the bed. She did too, and stretched her arms above her head.
"What happened to Sammy?" He asked, looking down at his brother, who was snoring, face down on the second bed.
"He got drunk and had sex last night."
"With who?" He asked, incredulously.
"Nicole." She answered, a smirk settling on her face. He grinned, anticipating the teasing when Sam woke up.
"He came home sometime last night, and ended up falling, drunk on top of us. I don't know how we didn't feel it, but when I woke up he was there, crushing my rib cage." She laughed, tossing a blanket over Sam's motionless body.
They both ended up in the kitchen, making themselves bowls of cereal. They had less than a half a gallon of milk left, so they used it sparingly, not wanting to have to go to the store today.
Elena yawned, pulling a spoon out of the drawer, and placing it into her bowl. She passed one to Dean and they both leaned against the counter, eating.
"So, we call Cas and head to Nicky's?" Elena asked in between bites. Dean nodded, his mouth full.
"Yep." He said, his words slurred by the blockage of FrostedFlakes.
She punched his arm. "Gross, man." But she laughed anyways, and he swallowed, smiling towards her. He leaned down and kissed her, their lips parting to meet. Their eyes closed and Dean wrapped an arm around her shoulders, one hand holding onto the bowl of cereal.
Elena pulled back. "Dean. What's wrong?" She asked, noticing the sadness and dread radiating from him. She dumped her empty bowl into the sink, and leaned against the counter space next to him.
He placed down his bowl, suddenly not hungry, then stuffed his hands into his pockets, leaning against the counter.
"I don't know if I can let you do this..."
"Do what?"
"Go and get the book of endo-whatever. I went to Hell and back, and I wouldn't want to ever go back. Why do you want to?"
"Dean, I don't want to. But I need to fix this. I know you already have all this guilt and a hell of a lot of problems on your shoulders. You don't need to be worrying about me while you're hunting. Because you know you'll have to stay perfectly safe in order for me to be fine. I'd go to Hell every time I died again, and then I'd come back to life and repeat the process. And what if Sam sacrificed himself to save you, so that we could live? There's too many problems that come with this blood-binding thing."
Dean looked to her, shocked. "But then why would you want to do it? We could force any demon to do it for us, or some other monster-thing."
"Dean, I'm one of those monster-things."
He didn't want to admit the truth. She was something they would hunt in any normal situation. Demons and Angels both were after her as of right now, and Dean was sure that the angels would have already killed her if Cas hadn't convinced Heaven to give them a chance with the book. The demons would be hunting her when she was down in Hell, and it was their home turf, an even more dangerous venture than fighting them anywhere else.
"Elle, I'm sorry, I just don't want to lose you again. What if you came back worse than before?"
Elena looked away from his piercing gaze, his green worried eyes making her feel doubtful of the plan. He was genuinely worried, and Sam was probably in the same place as him, even if he didn't show it.
"Dean, I'm as worried as you are... But I have to do this to save us both."
"Did you even consider how Sam feels about this?"
She looked over to him sleeping on the bed, one side of his face smushed against the bed, making his mouth deformed in a strange U shape. She smiled a little as she looked at him, the overgrown child of the Winchester brothers.
"Dean, I love you both. You know I wouldn't do this if I wasn't sure."
"Now you're being stupid. You're not sure. Don't lie to me."
"I know what I'm doing. Asshole..." She muttered, pushing him away and crossing her arms.
He stood there, confused. "Elle, how do you know that? What if you're wrong and you disappear again? This time you won't have your phone, a place to stay... Anything."
She didn't respond.
"And what if once you get the book, you're cured and you die for good? Even Cas isn't sure you'll survive."
"What?" She asked, her voice filled with rage. Her eyes burned like fire when she turned towards him, hands clenched into fists by her side. "When did he tell you this?"
Dean realized he said too much and he avoided her gaze. "He uh..."
"Dean. What did he say, and when?"
He looked down at her eyes, deciding wither or not to tell her. "Last night I left the motel and called on Cas... We talked and... Well, he.. He told me the real story about the whole Enchion story."
"What's the truth?"
Dean ran a hand through his spikes, his hair falling back into place almost immediately. "All the followers of Deterrance dropped dead after the angels tried to save them."
She looked frightened when he finished, and he suddenly regretted telling her.
"That's why you I don't want me to go?"
"That, and every power of hell will be trying to find and destroy you."
She hugged herself as a chill ran down her spine. "You shouldn't have told me. Because now you know I'll do it either way."
He was frozen, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open as he gaped. "You'd do that to yourself? Well what about Sam? What about me, or Cas, or your friend, Nicole?"
"Nothing's more important to me than family, Dean. But me dying and getting that book back will be a shit ton better than doing nothing and suffering hell each and every day. I still get nightmares, and I'm still hallucinating. You don't get what it's like to be this thing. It affects you far worse than a normal Hell trip. My experience made yours look like a damn vacation." She was on the verge of shouting, her voice rising. "If you think I'd let you all suffer because I'm this... Thing... Then you're wrong. I'm the one going through this, and I'm going to fix it."
She spun on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen.
Sam shot up from the bed and squinted at her. "Elle, what's wrong?"
She slammed the door of the motel room as she walked out, tears of frustration streaming down her face.
Sam looked towards the kitchen where Dean looked after her, glaring, looking like he always did when someone wasn't listening to him.
"What did you do now, man?" Sam asked, sighing and getting up to follow her.
"She's suicidal, Sammy." Dean said before he had left. Sam turned around and looked questioningly at him.
"So she's like me?" Sam asked, knowing Dean only got this angry when he was trying to protect something he loved. "Just like every time I tried to do something that would help us, and you said it was dangerous?"
"You're supposed to be drunk, aren't you?"
"See, there you go again. You make a joke out of things whenever you're scared. I know you, Dean."
His older brother slammed a fist on the counter "Damn it, Sammy." As his brother left the room, going to search for Elena. Dean tossed on his jacket and grabbed his keys, walking out of the room and locking the door behind him.
Sam and Elena weren't there when he got to the parking lot. Maybe they walked, maybe they took a cab, or maybe they were close by. He climbed into his Impala either way, and drove off towards Nicole's house, speeding down the road, far above the speed limit, daring anyone to try and pull him over.
He was pulling into her driveway in under five minutes, noticing Elena and Sam in the window. He saw Nicole by the window, doing something by the curtains, and she gasped when she looked at him, then began to glare daggers, shutting the curtains quickly.
What did I do to her? He asked himself.
He climbed out of the Impala, and strode up to the door. This was the first time he met Nicole, so he wondered why she hated him already.
He knocked on the door, and waited, impatience growing.
The door swung open, and there stood Nicole, angry eyed again.
"You're that shit-brain from the phone!" She shouted accusingly, pointing a finger at him. He raised one of his eyebrows slightly.
"Excuse me, what?" He asked, completely confused.
"I saw you on her caller ID! After you called her, she was a sobbing mess! Hell, she started screaming randomly, like she was terrified of you! What the hell did you do to her?" She was shouting, and before he could answer, she punched him in the face, his jaw bone taking most of the impact. He grabbed her wrist, and she began screaming, "Let go!" She punched with her other hand, and as Sam and Elena made it to the door, they had front row seats to watch his knee cap get kicked repeatedly.
Elena reacted quickly, grabbing Nicole's elbow. Nicole paused in her rampage. "Is this the ass-hole that dumped you?"
"Nicky, don't you think you're overreacting, just a little?" She asked. "Dean didn't dump me, and he didn't hurt me."
"Then why did he just try to rape me?" She asked, and Dean released her, shocked and confused by her accusation, and she kneed him in the crotch.
Sam sucked in a breath of air, sympathizing.
Elena rushed passed Nicole, trying to hold Dean up as he filled his cheeks with air, doubling over in pain. "Damn, Nicole!" She said, leading him into the house.
"So he isn't the jerk-tub that dumped you?" She asked, confused.
"No! I mean, yes he's the guy that you thought dumped me, but he didn't dump me, or hurt me, or rape me, or anything like that!"
Nicole's eyes widened, and she laughed nervously. "Oh." She said, slightly embarrassed. Sam was suppressing laughter as Dean mumbled "not funny." to Sam.
Nicole got out of their way as Elle plopped Dean onto the couch. His arm was still tightly wrapped with hers, and it pulled her down too.
"Ow, Dean!" She fell onto his lap and pushed herself up again, standing. She sighed, and looked him over. "Nicky, go get an ice pack. You did serious damage. If you ruin his jaw-line, you'll never be forgiven." Dean's eyes widened as she talked about his face being deformed, desperately hoping she was joking. Nicole rushed off to the kitchen and quickly returned with ice wrapped in a hand towel.
"Sorry..." She mumbled as she handed it to him.
"It's good." He said, holding the ice to his jaw. Sam was still suffocating from the hidden laughter.
"Did I break anything?" Nicole whispered to Elena, and Dean looked to her, scared.
"Well, did she?" He asked, the worry bringing his voice up half an octave as he sat forward.
"Maybe." She shrugged.
He wasn't amused by her sarcasm.
She laughed, dropping onto the sofa and kissing where the bruise was forming. "It might be a little black-and-blue, but you'll be fine."
His ears turned red as she babied him like that, and he turned away from her.
Nicole excused herself to the bathroom, and Sam sat on the single seat couch to the left of them.
"Should we do it now?" Asked Sam, and Dean glared at him while Elena considered.
"Just a bit longer." She replied, cuddling up to Dean. His arm fell around her, rubbing her shoulder. They both knew these might be their last moments together. She looked up to him and they kissed, sweet and long. They parted only when Sam cleared his throat.
"Sorry, Sammy. Better learn to deal with it." Dean smirked, and turned his attention to the angel that was now standing in the center of the living room. Castiel looked depressed, his shoulders slouched and his frown obvious.
Nicole strolled into the living room, spotting Cas.
"Hi." She said, her face bright pink, and she got slowly closer until she stood beside him. "You're uh-cute. I mean... Your hair is- uh I like your eyes? Not that I'd want to take then out and put then in a jar, like I'm not creepy like that-er... I mean that I...hi." She smiled and her face was even more red.
Castiel looked at her strangely. "I don't understand any of the dialect you used. I might understand better if you spoke English or Enochian?"
"I'd love to learn! Enochian, I mean, like I uh, already know English." She laughed nervously, at her sad attempt to flirt.
"I'll attempt to teach you if you'd wish. Although it might be difficult for a human to understand at first. Perfect translations don't exist in any Earthly languages."
"Wow. You're smart." She said, dumbly. "I'm not- I mean- I'm smart too! Just ask me any question!"
"What happened to your flesh?" He stared curiously at her reddening face, and she laughed nervously, wondering why he didn't notice she was blushing. Either way, she was glad he didn't know she had even attempted to flirt. It had been a sorry try, and anyone would sympathize with how stupid she felt at that moment.
Dean and Elena had been enjoying the show, especially since Sam was sitting right there after he had had intercourse with her last night. They watched Sam fidgeting, tapping his fingers against the arm rest, and bouncing his knee repeatedly.
"So, Cas how do we do the whole portal thing, again?" He asked, cutting their conversation short.
"Oh right!" Exclaimed Nicole. "The magic trick!"
"Magic trick?" Dean asked, looking at Sam.
"Uh, yeah. I promised to show her yesterday."
"Uh huh!" Nicole said excitedly. "So what do I need to do?"
Cas looked over to her. "Are you a virgin?"
Her face was on fire, far quicker than a fire could normally spread. "I- umm... No. I just... Uh I..."
Dean and Elena exchanged a look, laughing out loud.
"Good. Otherwise, you would die."
"The- I have to have had sex for the magic to work?" She backed away slowly, but Castiel tapped her head and she fell, dead asleep onto the ground.
"And why does she need to be a non-virgin?" Asked Sam.
"If she was still virtuous, she wouldn't be able to give a clear view to hell." He traced a line from her collar bone to her abdomen. Her body opened up, exposing a black space where her organs would have been.
"What the hell?" Dean asked, slightly disgusted.
Cas looked up. "Yes, that is hell. It will show us Elena when she goes down there."
Dean nodded, and they all came to stand next to Cas. Dean squeezed Elena's hand tightly. "I'm sorry." At the edge of her possible death and suffering, Dean cried. She wrapped her arms around his stomach and when she pulled away, left tear marks across his tee. He took off his jacket, putting it over her shoulders. "I packed demon knives and holy water in the pockets." He smiled sadly.
She was grateful, and she kissed him, her hand running through his hair. This was possibly the last time she would see him.
"Dean. I'm sorry." Tears streamed down her face, but she grinned, as if confident. She was shaken, afraid of what would happen if she didn't come back.
"Please come back." He said, his hand resting on the back of her neck. He then smiled. "I don't want to lose my favorite jacket."
She kissed him again, smiling at his simple joke.
"I love you."
"I love you more." He whispered back.
She came to stand before Sam, who was fighting back tears. "So you figured it out, huh Sam?"
"You could die?" Sam asked, and a tear betrayed him as it slowly fell from his eye.
"Yeah. But there's always the chance that I won't." She smiled reassuringly, knowing the sadness was visible through her smile.
He hugged her, and being far bigger than her, he practically covered her entirely. "Bye, my big moose." She laughed, smiling into his plaid. She ruffled his long hair. "I'll be back to complain about your hair later."
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. His deep fear showed plainly.
She turned, and came to stand before Castiel, who watched her with sad and sympathetic eyes. "I'm sorry. This is my fault."
"I made the decision." She kissed his cheek. "Thanks for being there." She said, sliding her arms into his trench coat to hug him. "I'll be back within a day, right."
He also put his arms around her. "No. There's still the chance you could be spent here for days, months, or years. I really don't know." More tears flooded her eyes, and she was confident that Castiel would have cried if he could have.
"Just don't tell Dean." She whispered. She pulled out of the hug and walked back towards Nicole's unconscious body.
"I'll see you later, Nicky." She smiled down at her friend.
She reached into Dean's jacket pocket, pulling out a blade. She placed it, tip first, to touch her stomach, but someone grabbed her arms.
"Elle." She turned and Dean looked at her with flooded eyes. "I'll do it. You don't have to." She smiled, wiping away a tear.
"You sure you have the stomach for it?" She asked, smiling sadly up at him. Her voice was barely above a whisper, and he knew she was afraid.
He didn't respond, just took the knife from her and hugged her tightly. She planted a kiss on his cheek, and then grasped the hand that wasn't holding the knife.
Dean worked up the courage, not wanting to close his eyes. He was going to make sure he never forgave himself if she died for good that day.
He jerked the knife towards her, but stopped himself. What was he doing? Killing her... It was wrong.
Elena took his other hand, now holding both. She places both of his hands together, and looked up to him.
He wasn't ready. She guided his hands towards her heart in slow motion.
He wasn't ready.
"Elle!" He shouted as blood flew from her chest, her heart stopping. Black tendrils raced out of the portal and flew into the wound, attaching themselves to her. Castiel stopped Dean as he went to pull them off of her.
Her lips moved soundlessly, and he tried to read what she was saying as she fell to the ground.
She landed with a soft thud, and he stood, stricken with shock, his hands still in the same place, blood falling from the blade, to the ground below.
Her body became a black smoke, even her clothes disappearing into the mist, and flowing into the portal opening from Nicole's body. The portal burst into black flames, and Sam and Castiel took tentative steps forward to peer into the opening.
Dean replayed the image of her falling again and again, until he had figured out what she had said.
Why did she say that? Why did she love him, after all the shitty things he had done in life? No one had ever cared about him besides maybe Sammy and Bobby, and yet here she was, loving a walking abomination, who had screwed up her life. He was a disaster, and yet she still hugged him, cried for him, kissed him, loved him, protected him…

Needed him. She needed him.
He knew what she had told him, what she didn't have the voice to say. She had mouthed it clearly, hoping for him to see the words that meant more than anything in the world to a Winchester.
'I need you.'