Chapter 5:
"I don't like this idea." Jay said.
Katya rolls her eyes.
"Serious kitty Kat, breaking and entering?" He says shaking his head.
Katya groaned, she didn't want to go over the plan anymore, she just wanted to get it done. When she got back to Jay's apartment it took her two hours to track down who her mother's attorney was and another half an hour to find out where his office was.
"What else do you suggest?" Katya argues.
"I don't know how about talking to the man." Jay says spastically.
Katya glares at him and doesn't even dignify that with a response. Her mother's attorney would have to follow her mother's wishes to the t and if she didn't want Katya seeing anything than she wouldn't be seeing them and even if her mother didn't mind it that could take days and that she didn't have.
Jay sighs.
"What about you dad I mean he is the arrow?" Jay points out.
"Was." Katya corrects.
Jay frowns.
"Was?" he asks.
Katya nods.
"Mum said she is sure Roy took over most the arrow stuff but that my dad still helps out." Katya replies instantly.
Jay nods if he understands.
"But still he was the arrow why not just as him for help?" Jay questions.
Katya stands frustrated she shouldn't have to explain herself to him she never has before but for some reason Jay is pushing her to have a relationship with her father and she is not sure why it's suddenly so important to him.
"If you don't want to help me fine, I'll go alone." Katya said.
Katya goes to leave but Jay grabs her arm.
"I am not saying that and you no it." He argues. Katya can hear the annoyance in his voice and she know she's offended him with her comment.
Katya turns slowly and looks at him. She is tired and so confused and right now she needs Jay to be Jay she has always known, constant and one of the only variables in her life that doesn't change and is always there for her not matter what. But something is different in Jay and has been ever since her mum disappeared but she can't quite place it.
"Will you help me?" she asks, her voice is soft and vulnerable, she hates that she is almost begging.
Jay moves closer to her his hand moving from her arm to her hand. He threads their hands together. He is standing so close that Katya has to look up to see his face but she is afraid of what she will see if she does.
It's not that she has never thought about a relationship with Jay she has but she needs him more than she ever likes admit to, the only one who knows that is her mum and that's the ways she wants to keep it because the truth is you can never go back and losing Jay is not worth the risk.
"You know I will." He says softly bring her out of her thoughts.
Katya swallows hard and nods before slowly looking up at him. She knows he deserves some sort of explanation but she can't do it standing this close, so she moves away from him.
"She loves him you know, even now." Katya says.
She turns her back and begins pacing.
She knows Jay is listening to her without looking.
"She talk about him like he was this amazing caring man but when she thought I was asleep those days I used to ask her about him, I would hear her cry herself to sleep." Katya explains.
"It wasn't till I was 15 that I found out why." She says softly, this is the part that she hates.
Her mother was always strong not matter what, but when she thought no one was looking then she would let her insecurities get the better of her.
"I was meant to be staying at a friends but I changed my mind at the last minute, though I forgot to let her know and she came home late, drunk as a stunk." Katya added the memory fresh in her mind.
"The first time they kissed it was for a mission." Katya states telling Jay exactly what her mother told her.
FLASHBACK:
Felicity felt her heartbeat increase at Oliver's closeness. It wasn't that she didn't understand why Oliver was standing that close to her after all they were on a mission and he was trying to keep her safe. They were at a party of a 1 % were Felicity had gone as Oliver's plus one because Sara was out of town. Normally when Felicity went on missions she was need to hack into something but no tonight. Tonight she was just needed to be Oliver's beard while he broke into their targets office and looked for his books. They had made sure people saw them at the party by dancing together on the dance floor after and talking to a number of guest. Felicity face hurt from fake smiling so much and when they made their break for it half an hour in Felicity couldn't be more grateful. They walked towards the targets office in silence, Oliver to concern about them getting caught. Oliver is in and out of the targets office in less than five minutes.
"How did it go?" Felicity asks in a hushed whisper.
Oliver just looks at her as if he is offended that she thought he might fail.
Felicity can't help but laugh and Oliver smiles. She loves Oliver's smiles so much, the real ones not the fake ones but the ones that only a few people get to see.
"Who's there?" Someone calls out.
Felicity gasps just as Oliver curses. He looks around for somewhere to hide but there isn't anyway.
"Dam it." Oliver mutters and before Felicity can ask what, her back hits the wall and Oliver's lips are crushed against hers.
It took Felicity a while to figure out what was going on before she kissed him back. Oliver's arms were round Felicity's waist pulling her close to him. Kissing Oliver was nothing like she expected instead it's much more, his lips are soft and demanding. Part of her knows this is just for show but the other part of her, the part that ends up pulling on his lapels and bringing him closer before her arms wind round his neck. She is on her tip toes, trying to get as close to Oliver as she can. He tightens his arm around her. If she hadn't been so engrossed in Oliver she might of heard how close the footsteps had gotten and how someone cleared their throat but all she could feel was Oliver's mouth on hers and the way his tongue swept into her mouth as if was memorising every inch of her mouth. Oliver's mouth moved to her neck and all Felicity thoughts have turned to mush because all there is nothing that makes her go weaker at the knees then being kissed on her neck like that.
"Maybe it's time for a cab." A deep voice suggests from behind them.
Felicity pulls away embarrassed, she looks down while Oliver charms the guard and before she knows it he is pulling her towards the exit. They don't talk about it not in the car journey afterwards, or during the three hours she spends shifting through all the paper work and it doesn't bother in the slightest after all it was just for cover.
It isn't until a couple of hours later when she's at home just getting out the shower and she sees herself in the mirror a mark from his lips on her neck that it hits her and she cries. She cries because she knows it won't happen again, she cries because she wants it to and she cries because no matter what she knows Oliver will not acknowledge what happened and somehow that hurts more than anything. She cries herself to sleep that night and she goes it to work the next day as if nothing happened.
Its two more weeks before it finally becomes too much and no matter how hard she tries she cannot get that kiss out of her head or the want of that kiss and its killing her.
"You ok?" Diggle asks softly.
She knows that she has been acting differently and she is seriously trying not too but it's hard and emotions not matter how much we like to think, they are really hard to get over.
"Nope." She says but the way she tells him she really doesn't want to talk about it.
Felicity can tell Diggle is hesitant to let her go but gratefully she does.
She avoids work and the lair for two days straight. Only sending a message to Dig to say she is fine and that she just wants to be left alone. That doesn't stop any of them from calling but she ignores the calls.
Oliver comes to her house on the third day and enters without knocking. She is packing, she decided that she needed to get over her thing for Oliver and the only way she could do that was by not seeing Oliver.
"You're leaving?" he asks.
His eyes wide as he looks round the room, eyes settling on her open suitcase.
His voice makes her jump.
"What are you doing here?" she demands, suddenly furious that his hasn't respect her need to be left alone.
"You're leaving?" he asks again completely ignoring her question.
Felicity moves to go past him and out the room but he grabs her arm and stops her.
"Answer me Felicity." He orders.
Felicity can see that he is angry but she doesn't care, she is angry too.
"That's none of your business." She shouts back.
She tries to move again but Oliver doesn't let her. He moves closer to her and Felicity moves back until her back hits her bedroom door.
"Talk to me." He begs his tone different almost begging.
It breaks Felicity and she hates herself for it.
"I can't do this anymore." She whispers fresh tears falling down her cheeks.
"Do what?" he asks softly trying to understand what the hell is going on with her.
Felicity looks away from him, she wants nothing more than to run and hide because it's humiliating and she knows Oliver would never let her.
"You shouldn't have kissed me." She says.
She can fill Oliver tense up.
"Is that what this is about?" he asks.
Felicity ignores his question.
Oliver pulls her chin up so she is looking at him in the eyes.
"You shouldn't have kissed me." Felicity repeats.
"Why?" he asks.
"I know why you did it, I do. I mean we were in trouble and we need to escape and we couldn't which left us with little option but couldn't you have just faked it. You should have faked it, it wouldn't hurt this much if you faked it." Felicity spoke quickly.
Felicity closes her eyes and puts her hand to her mouth realising what she just said, she wishes the ground would swallow her up but it still wouldn't change what she just said.
"Felicity." Her name falls from his mouth in a way no one else says and her eyes instantly open again.
Oliver is looking down at her in a way she has never seen before and she doesn't understand what that look means.
"You think that kissed was completely faked?" he asks in what sounds like disbelief and Felicity nods confused.
"Of course it was, I mean why else would you kiss me like that. I'm not gorgeous Laurel or feisty I can take care of myself Sara. I'm just me, IT girl extraordinary." Felicity says, the last bit she says as if it's nothing.
She can feel Oliver's breath on her face as he curses.
"Dam it Felicity." He mutters before his lips descend on hers.
This kiss is different than the one form their first it's slow and deliberate with so much passion. His lips are soft against hers and his hand cradles her cheek so gently, but it's short, sweet and over far too quickly.
Felicity can't help the whimper that escapes her mouth and Oliver sighs.
"And that's the problem." He whispers before pressing a kiss to her forehead and he is gone before she can't speak.
Felicity doesn't leave that night because she can't and it wasn't because of the kiss that she stayed, if anything that confused her even more. She stayed because she knew it would be harder to live without him in her life at all.
END OF FLASHBACK
"He has always been reckless in his feelings for her and she always got hurt because of it, I just want to protect her." Katya added.
Katya stops pacing and looks at Jay.
"I want to get to know him I really do, and I will as soon as we find my mum." Katya says.
"Katya…" Jay starts but Katya hold up her hand to stop him.
"But if we can find my mum on our own I have to take it." Katya interrupts.
"And if we can't?" Jay asks.
"Then we go back to plan A, of asking him for help." Katya replies.