Chapter 12:

The buzzing of her phone woke Katya.

She sat up instantly and dived for her phone knocking off the contents of her bedside table in the processes.

"Dam it." she mumbles as the unknown objects hit the floor with a thud.

Praying she hasn't woke Jay, she fiddles around with her phone until the screen lights up and winces as her eyes struggle to adjust to the light.

"Katya?" Jay's voice calls out and she knows the noise woke him.

Katya curse to herself.

"Sorry." she shouts back.

She hears him groan before she looks back to the screen.

Her eyes widen, as Katya sees the note flashing on her screen.

Results found, the screen reads.

Katya jumps up out of bed, she fumbles in the dark looking for her jeans.

"Dam it Katya what's with all the noise?" Jay asks from the hallway.

She can hear him approaching and she shoves the first pair of jeans on just as he pushes open her bedroom door.

He looks surprised to see her half-dressed.

"What's going on?" he asks suddenly awake and alert.

Katya chucks him her phone and looks for a t-shirt that isn't one of Jays that she wears to bed.

"I'll get dressed." he mumbled.

Katya looks over at him to argue that he doesn't have to but he is already gone.

Katya sighs before quickly changing her shirt.

Ten minutes and they were on their way to the lair.

"This might be nothing." Jay warns.

Katya nods and swallows hard. She not stupid she knows that this could be nothing but she can't help the well of hope that rises within her.

"I know." Katya replied.

She looks out the car window trying to keep the tears that roll down her cheeks hidden.

Jay's hand find her hand and Katya looks over at him, his eyes on are on the road but as his thumb rubs comforting circles into her pulse, and she knows that he knows she needs him. They drive the rest of the way in silence. The roads are quite as they pull up.

Katya opens the door and moves to get out but Jay tightens his grip on her hand.

Katya looks over at him confused.

"Whatever happens Katya, you are not alone." He promises.

Kayta smiles and fights back her tears.

She brings their still joined hands on her lips and gently kisses his hand. A single tear escapes her eyes. Sometimes she wishes she could put into words how much he means to her.

"Thank you." she whispers.

Roy groaned the same time Thea threw his phone at him.

"Shut that thing off." she ordered, grumpy from lack of sleep.

Roy caught his phone easily and lazily looked to see what was distributing his precious sleep. That was one of the downsides of being the arrow, sleep was extremely hard to come by.

Results found, his screen read.

Roy frowned as far as he was aware no one had sent up any searches. Then he remembered Katya and Felicity. The searches were about Felicity.

Roy jumped up from bed now wide awake.

"What is it?" Thea asked from bed.

Roy froze, and looked over at his wife.

"I think Katya may have found Felicity." Roy told her honestly.

Thea sat up instantly.

"What?" She asked.

Roy shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know you yet but I promise I will let you know as soon as I do." Roy promised.

Thea nodded in agreement.

"You better." she warns.

Roy smiles before kissing her fondly on the cheek and heading out.

Felicity was like the older sister that he had never had and in the short time he had known her, she had become one of the most important people in his life. When Roy first joined Team Arrow he felt out of place and alone, but it wasn't for long. Felicity listened to him, gave him advice about dealing with the team and helping him deal with his anger. She became his first friend in Team Arrow and if he was honest the one he cherished the most. Felicity was the light in the never ending darkness that Team Arrow dealt with on a day to day basis, with her unintentional sexual innuendoes and bright colourful laughter.

Roy sighed deeply, he missed her laughter.

The first thing Roy truly learnt about Team Arrow was how irreplaceable Felicity was to every single person in Team Arrow. She was his older sister, Diggle's baby sister, Sara's best friend but more than anything she was Oliver's everything and somehow their enemies knew that. When someone wanted to hurt anyone of them she would be their number one target but still she never gave up. She had been hurt so many times because of what they did and there had only been one time that Roy had ever really seen it get to her.

It wasn't long after Slade had escaped, they were dealing with a human trafficker who had been taking young women from the glades and selling them around the world in to prostitution. They had taken out one of his lieutenants in an unforgettable show down and they had taken Felicity as revenge. It took them two very long days to find Felicity and everyone was a mess, Sara worked without eating or sleeping, Roy paced and Diggle tried to father them but Oliver was angry and he we worked tirelessly to find her, taking out anyone who dared to get in his way. He was like a bomb waiting to explode. Roy's heart broke when they finally found her, tied to a chair battered and blue, her cloths tattered and torn. To this day Roy never really knew what they did to her but he remembered how different she had been afterwards.

FLASHBACK

Roy wasn't used to silence, well not since he had joined team arrow and meet Felicity. But even though everyone was here the lair was silent. It had been this way even since they had got Felicity back from the human traffickers. Oliver had untied her from the chair but unlike normal she had frozen at his touch, it had been Sara that patched Felicity up, Oliver was still hovering nearby but normally it was just Oliver and Felicity in their own little world.

"Hey." Roy said as he approached Felicity's desk her normal coffee in his hand.

Felicity looked startled up at him and Roy could see the tears in her eyes.

As far as he was aware Felicity hadn't cried since they got her back and if he was honest he was waiting for his blonde friend to breakdown.

"Thank you." she whispered before turning back to her screens.

She was quite as they all worked on their own things, she never watched Oliver as he worked out or made any unintentional sexual remarks, and she just remained silently. No typing, no speaking. Nothing.

After Sara took over sparring with Dig, Oliver slowly approached Felicity. Roy new he should be paying attention to Sara and Dig's teaching but he was rather concerned about his friend.

"Felicity?" Oliver said as he approached her.

Felicity didn't seem to hear him.

"Felicity." he called again this time a little louder.

Still Felicity seemed frozen staring off into space.

Oliver was now standing just to the left of her, he gently put his hand on her shoulder and she flinched.

"Hey, it's just me." Oliver told her softly.

Felicity eyes meet Oliver's and from Roy was standing her could see her hands shaking.

Oliver slowly turned Felicity's chair round and knelt down so he was no longer standing over her.

"Talk to me." he ordered softly.

They all could tell she wasn't dealing with what happened very well and it surprised them. Felicity was strong, there was nothing she couldn't deal with.

"I'm fine." Felicity said.

She smiled at Oliver and tried to turn her chair away but Oliver's hands move quickly and pulled the chair back round.

"Felicity." Oliver begged in the voice that he reserved for only her and Thea.

Roy watched as Felicity squirmed under Oliver's gaze looking anywhere but at him. Oliver lent up and gently put his hand on the side of her face forcing her to looking at him.

"Don't you get sick of it?" She asked suddenly.

Oliver frowned at her in confusion.

"Sick of what?" he questioned.

Felicity shook her head.

"Saving me all the time." she said as if it was the most disgusting thought she ever had.

Roy noticed that Sara and Diggle had stopped training and were looking over at their blonde friend with a surprised expression. They all loved her, didn't she know they would do anything to save her.

Felicity standing up caught Roy's attention.

"I mean all you seem to do lately is save me." Felicity pointed out.

Oliver stood up.

"I can't even go from the office to my car without getting myself in to trouble." Felicity went on.

"I am a liability." she spat.

"I am useless, I don't even understand why you keep me around. Next time just let them kill me, it will be less trouble for you." Felicity ranted.

Oliver moved then grabbing her arm and pulling her forward until she was standing just in front of him.

"Never say that again." Oliver ordered his voice could and serious with no room for argument.

Felicity shook her head. Tears filling her pretty blue eyes.

"Why not? it's true." she replied.

Tears slid from her eyes.

"You are the best of us." Oliver tells her honestly and Roy can't help but agree with him.

"You are smart and incredible and if it wasn't for you, I am pretty sure we would all be dead by now." Oliver pointed out and he isn't wrong.

The tears on Felicity's cheeks fell faster.

"You wouldn't even be in this much danger if it wasn't for us." Oliver adds his words filled with guilt and regret.

Felicity steps closer to Oliver, now standing inches apart.

"I was so scared." She admits just as a sob escapes her throat and Oliver moves then crushing her to him.

Big loud sobs escape Felicity and tears fill Roy's own eyes risking a quick look over at Diggle and Sara, Roy can see tears flowing from Sara and Diggle is looking rather glassy eyed. After her sobs ease she pulls away.

"I'm sorry." she says looking at each of them individually.

When she gets to Roy, he shakes his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Roy reassures her.

Felicity smiles sadly then looks back to Oliver.

"I am tired of being afraid." she confesses.

Oliver swallows then nods.

"What do you want me to do?" He asks his voice showing his desperation to help her.

Felicity smiles at him gratefully.

"Teach me to defend myself." Felicity begs and Oliver nodded in agreement.

He could never really deny Felicity anything.

END OF FLASHBACK

By the time Roy gets to the lair everyone else is already there standing behind Katya as she deciphers the results.

"What's going on?" Roy asks as he approaches them.

Diggle turns to him.

"Felicity went from her house to the train station and boarded a train here to Starling." Diggle informed him.

Roy nodded for Diggle to continue you.

"But no camera picks up Felicity getting off the train." Diggle added.

Roy frowned not understanding what that meant now.

"What does this mean?" Roy questioned.

Katya turned in the chair.

"It would have been a direct train, which means she should have got off the train here in Starling but she didn't. Which means either the footage has been tampered with out there was an unscheduled stop." Katya explained.

"So what do you need us to do?" Oliver asked.

Katya smiled at her father.

"I need to get access to the actual footage, which should be kept in the security offices at the station." Katya replied.

"So I'll break into the security office and get you the footage." Jay summarised.

"Basically." Katya replied as if it was something they did every day.

Jay nodded.

"I'll come with you," Roy suggested.

Jay nodded.

Oliver was surprise how much it hurt to watching Katya doing a job that had always be her mothers. When Felicity had first left it became apparent how much Felicity really did for them. He knew that they need someone to take Felicity's place but it had never happened because even having Sara or Roy in her chair bothered him, the thought of replacing her altogether was unthinkable. Katya was different than Felicity though and Oliver couldn't help but be grateful for the small differences. Katya worked with the same stern determination but she gave orders quickly and quietly with no room for argument.

"Have you thought about what you are going to say to her?" Diggle asks from beside him.

Oliver looks over at his friend.

"Felicity, I mean." Diggle adds.

Oliver shakes his head. There was so much he wanted to say but if he was honest he wasn't even sure where to begin. If he just knew why she left then maybe he would know what to say when he saw her.

"Once you get pass this door you're on your own." Katya said, her voice filled with worry bringing him out of his thoughts.

Oliver walks slowly over to her.

"We got this." Jay voice calls out through the comms.

Katya takes a deep breath and Oliver puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Just be careful." she orders.

Katya turns in her chair and looks from Diggle to Oliver.

"Distract me." she begs.

Oliver frowns.

"Please." she adds.

Oliver nods and looks over at Diggle for help, not completely sure what to suggest.

"What do you want to know?" Diggle asks.

Katya sighs deeply.

"Sara." she states.

"What happened to Sara?" she asks.

Oliver blew out a breath Sara was a touchy subject for the team as they all had dividing opinions.

"It's a long story." Oliver replied.

Katya levelled him with a look that told him she didn't care and Oliver sighed, where did he begin.

"Sara left before I married Laurel." Oliver confessed.

Katya looked at him surprised.

"Why?" she questioned.

Oliver looked away from his daughter. Caught up in his memories.

FLASHBACK

Oliver followed Sara into the club determined for answers. Laurel had been heartbroken when Sara had told her she wouldn't be coming to the wedding and couldn't understand why.

When he got to the bottom of the stairs, Sara stood in the middle of the training mats her arms crossed, her foot tapping ready for a fight.

"Why?" was all he asked.

Sara sighed deeply.

"You know why." she replied.

Oliver shook his head, he really didn't know.

Sara glared at him.

"Sooner or later you are going to figure out you are still in love with Felicity and Laurel is going to get hurt because of it." Sara explained and Oliver's mouth fell open in surprise.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Oliver replied.

Sara shook her head violently.

"You love Felicity." Sara pointed out.

Oliver saw red.

"It doesn't matter what I feel for Felicity, she's gone." Oliver argued.

"So Laurel is second choice?" Sara questioned sarcasm filling her words.

"I love Laurel." Oliver roared.

Sara scoffed.

"Not like you love Felicity." Sara argued.

"I love Laurel." he repeats.

Sara scoffs.

"No one is allowed to sit in her chair." Sara states.

"No one is allowed to change anything to do with Felicity work station." Sara points out.

She is stepping closer and closer to Oliver as she yells.

"You keep saying you love Laurel and that Felicity is gone, but why do you keep this place a shrine to her?" Sara demanded.

Oliver wanted to deny it he really did but somewhere within him he knew she was right.

"Sara?" Oliver called softly all his fight leaving him.

Sara sighed.

"I know you love Laurel, truly I do but you will never love her as much as you love Felicity and I will not wait around for you all to realise that." Sara summarised.

END OF FLASHBACK

Sara was gone three days later. Diggle had understood her reasoning, he was sad to see her go but her understood. Roy had been mad.

"She believed I wasn't over you mum." Oliver replied.

They were all silent for a moment.

"I don't understand." Katya stated.

"Laurel is the love of your life right?" Katya asked.

Oliver looks at his daughter startled, as to why she would think that.

"Why do you say that?" Diggle asks.

Katya shrugged her shoulders.

"That's what mum thought, that you loved no one like you loved Laurel." she adds.

Oliver turns her chair so she is facing him.

"What?" he demands.

How could Felicity think that?

"I don't think she every really believed you loved her." Katay replied.

How could she have never known how he felt about her? Oliver's face turns serious.

"She said I never loved her?" Oliver asked.

Katya shook her head not really understanding why this was so important to him.

"No she never said it." Katya replied.

Oliver frowned.

"Then why would you think that?" he questions.

Katya shrugged again.

"Mum always talk about you and Laurel as if that was it, that there was nothing better." Katya replied.

Oliver shook his head he didn't understand and Katya sighed, she stood up and Oliver followed.

"From her stories about you guys I knew you cared about her, but I was never sure if you loved her and I don't think mum was either." Katya confessed and that broke his heart.

Did Felicity really believe he never loved her?

"You can ask you know?" Oliver said after Katya fell silent.

Katya turned to face him.

"Ask what?" she questioned.

Oliver sighed.

"You can ask me if I love her." he told her.

He needed her to ask him, as if by her knowing someone Felicity would know how much she had meant to him.

Katya looked confused.

"Did you love her?" she asked anyway.

"Yes." Oliver replied.

"I have and I will never love another women the way I love your mother." Oliver admitted.

It felt weird to say but it finally felt like a weight had been lifted.