Chapter 13:

Katya had never meant to make her father mad but clearly her words had.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

Oliver looked down at her startled.

"I never meant to make you mad." Katya added.

Oliver smiled at her sadly before gently placing his hand on shoulder.

"I'm not mad at you." he told her honestly.

"I'm mad at myself." He added.

He looked over her shoulder.

"I honestly believed that your mum knew how I felt about her and to find out she didn't." Oliver stated trailing off at the end shaking his head in disappointment.

Oliver looks back at her but there was a distant look on his face.

"Things may have been different." he added.

Katya opens her mouth to argue when the comms click back on. Katya turns in her chair.

"Jay?" She whispers praying that everything went fine.

"We got it Kitty Kat." Jay's cocky voice calls through the comms.

"Are you hurt?" She asks desperately.

Jay laughs.

"I'm fine Kitty Kat." Jay replies instantly.

A sigh escapes her body.

"And Uncle Roy?" she adds.

"I'm good to Kat." Roy told her.

Katya relaxed back into the chair.

"I'll see you when you get back." She says before turning to face her father and Diggle.

"I have no idea how mum did this it would have killed me." Katya told them honestly.

Diggle smiled.

"It killed her most of the time too." Diggle told her.

"Why would she do it then?" Katya asked.

Diggle approached her and he looked over at her father who was now pounding his fist viciously into one the training dummies.

"Because she believed in him." Diggle told her.

Katya stood up. Oliver looked so disappointed, so angry in himself.

"I didn't mean to hurt him." she told Diggle sadly.

Diggle gave her a small smile, before gently taking her hand and giving her fingers a squeeze.

"I know honey." he reassured her.

"In all the years I have known your dad he has never cared for anyone the way he did Felicity." Diggle added.

Katya looked over at him.

"Then why would she wonder about his love for her?" Katya questioned.

Diggle sighed deeply.

"In this world the people we love become our biggest weaknesses, your dad believed that he had to keep away from her in order to protect her." Diggle explained.

Katya nodded, she understood her father's reasoning but she didn't like it.

"But people still found out how much she meant to him?" Katya asked and Diggle nodded.

Diggle smiled sadly.

"Because no matter how much we try we cannot hide what the heart wants." he told her.

Katya thoughts briefly flickered to Jay but she shook her head now was not the time.

The lair door opened the same time the computers bleeped.

Katya looked at the computer for a split second before deciding she needed to see Jay before she could really focus. She moved to the bottom of the stairs, Diggle following closely behind.

Roy bounded down the stairs first with Jay following closely behind.

Katya felt her body instantly relax at the sight of him, safe and sound back here with her. Tears filled her eye, Jay spent so much time in the line of danger doing his job and it almost killed her. But this time was different, because he was putting himself in danger for her and somehow that made it worse.

Jays hand on the side of her face brought her out of her thoughts.

"I'm fine." he told her seriously.

Katya looked him over. Not a hair out of place.

She nodded and he smiled.

Thea smiled to herself as she looked down at the name that lit up her screen.

Sara.

When she was younger she had never really be close to her but after Felicity left, Sara become one of her closet friends.

"Hello," Thea answered happily.

"I heard you have been trying to get hold of me." Sara replied quickly and tiredly.

After Sara refused to go to Oliver and Laurels wedding she had gone back to the league of assassins and getting hold of Sara was difficult.

"Yes, I have some news." Thea told her.

Sara sighed.

Every time they talked Thea filled Sara in on the gossip what was going on with everyone and even though it was never really her thing Sara listened.

"Felicity was pregnant when she left." Thea said dropping the bombshell.

"What?" Sara gasped.

Thea smiled knowing she had now got Sara's attention fully and completely.

"When Felicity left she was pregnant, with Oliver daughter." Thea said.

"Felicity would never have left without telling Oliver unless..." Sara started but stopped when Thea interrupted her.

"Everyone keeps saying that, but they still haven't found that reason yet." Thea argued annoyed.

Thea hated that she had lost twenty years of her niece life and she couldn't bear to think what Oliver was going through. Deep down she knew they were right. Felicity was and always had been a good person, especially when it came to Oliver, often too good. But right now things looked bad and yet no one was looking at it like that but her.

"Well what's Felicity saying?" Sara asked bringing Thea out of her thoughts.

Thea sighed sadly.

"That's the problem, she's missing." Thea replied.

"What?" Sara yelled.

"Tell me everything." Sara ordered, so she did.

"I'm coming home." Sara told her after she was done.

"Are you sure?" Thea questioned worrying about the repercussion of Sara leaving the league again.

"I sure." Sara replied adamantly just as the front door opened and Thea heard voices.

"Look I have to go but I'll keep you informed." Thea promised.

"Good I'll see you soon." Sara replied before putting the phone down.

Thea looked round just in time to see Roy enter the kitchen closely followed by Katya, Diggle and Jay.

Thea frowned.

"Where's Ollie?" she questioned.

Katya looked down ashamed.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

Diggle sighed.

"Katya may have told him that Felicity didn't know he loved her." Diggle replied.

"Dam it." Thea muttered.

She always wondered if Felicity knew how Oliver felt about her.

"Sorry." Katya muttered.

Thea smiled at her.

"Not your fault." Thea told her honestly.

She had always said that Oliver needed to tell Felicity how he felt, but obviously he never had.

"So let me guess, he is taking all his anger out on some poor training dummy?" Thea questioned.

Diggle laughed.

"Got it in one." He told her.

Thea rolled her eyes.

"Well how about some breakfast?" she offered and she saw nods of agreement.

Thea turned towards the kitchen.

"Would you like some help?" Katya called from behind her.

Thea smiled, this was the moment she had been waiting for the chance to get to know her niece. Thea turned to face Katya.

"That would be lovely thank you." She replied.

Katya smiled and nodded before following her into the kitchen.

Oliver whipped his face with a towel. He really should have known better, Felicity had always been insecure when it came to his feeling towards her but to think she questioned his love for her even after everything they went through before she left.

The second time Oliver kissed her was after she had almost been killed pushing him out of the way of a bullet. The bullet grazed her arm but he had been so worried and the only thing that seemed to calm him was the feeling of her in his arms but this time it wasn't enough and she kept rambling about how she would do it again if it meant he was safe. So he kissed her, it was rushed and forceful but he didn't care he just needed to feel her and by the way she kissed him back she didn't care either. Kissing each other after a dangerous events became a common thing after that and not just for him but for her too.

He remembered the day she told him he couldn't kiss her any more, it was two days before Malcolm Merlin took her and Thea. She had been in the field to hack into one of their targets computers but had been attacked but one of his guards.

FLASHBACK

Oliver paced as Diggle stitched Felicity's arm. One of their targets guards had slashed her arm and it had taken her pleads for him not to kill the man that dared to hurt her.

"Take some tablets when you get in a rest." Diggle ordered.

Felicity smiled.

"I promise." she said.

Diggle nodded before waving and heading out.

Since Diggle had stopped offering them a ride Oliver assumed he had an idea that something was going on between them but was choosing to ignore them and Oliver couldn't be more grateful. If he was honest he had no idea what was going on with them. All he knew was that that he couldn't live without her.

Oliver walked over to her.

"You ok?" He asks her softly.

Felicity gives him a tried smile before nodding.

Oliver stands inches from her. All he wants to do is crush her to him but she been quite since they got back and he is unsure if hugging her is the right thing.

Her head falling forward on to his chest answer his question for him. Oliver steps forward gently wrapping his arms round her just as a sob escapes her throat. Oliver tightens his hold on her as she cries. Something's different he is not sure what it is but something is definitely different. When her sobs ease Oliver pulls back and looks down at her.

"Talk to me." he begged softly.

Felicity shook her head.

"Is this about what happened tonight?" Oliver questions because he knows for a fact that she had never gotten so upset over something like this before. She is stronger than that and regretfully she had been through much worse.

Felicity shakes her head and looks down.

Oliver sighed as he bent his head down to rest on her forehead. He can fill the tears that slip down her cheek, her uneasy breath on his face.

"Please talk to me." He begs.

His arms are still round her back and hers are still tightly holding on to his lapels.

Felicity shakes her head and before he can open his mouth to speak again she brings her lips to his and kisses like her life depends up it. This kiss is nothing like they have previously shared. It's slow and deliberate. Oliver moves one of his hands to her face and deepens the kiss. They kiss until they are breathless and when they pull away Felicity flings her arms round his neck and buries her face in his shoulder blade.

"We can't keep doing this." she whispers into his shoulder.

A shake breath escapes her.

"I can't keep doing this." she corrects.

Oliver knows she is talking about kissing. He knows she wants him to fight her on this but she knows he won't not matter how badly he wants too.

Felicity presses a kiss into his neck and he briefly tightens his hold on her. Felicity pushes him away and he lets her. She walks over to her desk and picks up her bag with her uninjured arm. She walks over to the stairs. He wants to go after her but he doesn't

She stops at the bottom of the stairs and looks over at him.

"You can't kiss me any more Oliver." She tells him.

"Not unless you're going to follow through with this." she says pointing between the two of them.

They look at each other for a few seconds before she sighs deeply and walks away. Oliver watches her leave and it takes everything he has not to go after.

END OF FLASHBACK

There have been many times in there years of friendship that he wishes he chase after her instead of letting her go but he always did end up letting her go and you can never go back.

Oliver sat down heavily in front of the computer. He signed into the email and clicked on to the next email.

Dear Oliver,

I miss you so much it hurts.

It's funny because in this very moment your probably hate me and for that I am so sorry.

Oliver closed his eyes, no matter what she did Oliver doubted he could ever really hate her.

We never lied to each unless it was to protect the other, only this time I did and it wasn't to protect you it was to protect her but now it's time I told you the truth.

When I first found out I was pregnant I had every intention of telling you. I was scared, of course I was. I mean you left me, you made love to me then left me.

Guilt filled him and he wishes he could go back.

Anyway one afternoon I left work early to go to the doctors and he was waiting for me in the parking garage. Slade Wilson,

Oliver's blood ran cold.

his name still scares the crap out of me. I know he once meant a lot to you Oliver but in the end he wasn't a good man.

I know he no longer had his strength but just the sight of him scared the crap out of him. I knew running away from him wasn't an option so I froze.

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

Slade glared at me as if I should already know the answer. Slade walk towards me and I fault ever erg to run and maybe if it was just me I would have taken the risk but it wasn't just me.

His blade on my neck told me he was just in front of me.

I closed my eyes. I was never sure I wanted our child until that very moment. I wrapped my eyes round my waist to protect our baby.

"Please don't." I whimpered.

Oliver slammed his fist into the table; if they had just been talking, if he hadn't of walked away maybe he would have questioned her leaving. Maybe he would have been standing there beside her when Slade came for her.

I hated how week I sounded but had to do something.

He moved his sword from my neck and slowly caressed my face and I tried not to flinch.

"Your different, then before." he mumbled.

Tears slide down my cheek and I hugged myself tighter.

"You were so willing to die for him, but not now." Slade said.

I swallowed.

"Why?" he quested.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes tighter.

"Why?" He yelled, his hand closed over my throat and I chocked for breath.

Anger built within Oliver, his Slade was alive he would kill him again and this time it wouldn't be painless or merciful.

"Please don't." I begged over and over again.

His grip tightened.

"I'm pregnant." I screamed with my last breath.

Slade dropped me instantly and I fell to floor, gasping for breath.

"Is it his?" He asked.

I looked up at him afraid to answer.

"Is it his?" he asked again and I nodded slowly.

He laughed bitterly.

"I should kill you both, but where would the fun it that be." he laughed bitterly.

"I'll let you and your baby live." He said.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"At least for now." He added.

My breath caught in my throat.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

He bent down so he was eye level with me.

"I'll let him love you and your child and then when you both least expect it I will make him really see what it feels like to lose the person he loves most in the world." He told me bitterly.

A sob escaped from my throat.

"Oh god." I cried.

He laughed and left me on the floor of the parking garage.

I have never been so scared in my life Oliver. I drove home and packed all my stuff but then you called asking me if everything was ok...

Oliver remembered that he was trying to get things back to normal.

I couldn't leave like that and I knew you would coming after me if I did so I gave myself a two week deadline. Two weeks to making find me impossible. Two weeks to say goodbye to you, to everyone. Those two weeks were by far the hardest of my life.

I love you Oliver.

Oliver closed his eyes, as tears slid down his cheeks.

I always have and I always will but in that very moment protecting her from Slade was more important to me than anything. I hope one day you can forgive me from keeping her from you.

He came to you looking for me, looking for her but her found Laurel instead. I am sorry for that. Tell Laurel I am sorry for that too. I never meant for anyone to get hurt because of me. But you beat him and I was so proud of you. I hope you never beat yourself up for killing him, you didn't have a choice.

Oliver had beat himself up for killing his former friend but now he wished he could do it all over again.

I was going to come to you then explain everything and give you a chance to meet and get to know Katya and be the amazing father I always knew you were going to be.

But then the pictures started, day after day I would receive them of Katya at school, of us at the supermarket, at the park. Of Katya and Jay. All with one message; I'll see you soon. I had no idea where it was coming from and until I new, she wasn't safe. None of us were. So we moved Jay and his mum Ellie came with us.

It was the same every time we moved somewhere new, after about a year when we thought we were safe Ellie and I received letters again. We moved over and over again until Ellie got sick. She told me to go but I couldn't leave her and I knew there was no chance that Katya would leave Jay. That was the first time I met him, he was the image of his father tall with dark hair, dark eyes and just as cruel. He could have made his moved but he didn't and I never really understood why not until I researched him.

Joe Wilson the son of Slade and Tori Wilson. His mother died of cancer just like Ellie and seeing her most of reminded him who he once was. He left us alone until Ellie died and then the photos started again. We moved but this time I knew who he was and I knew it was only so long before Katya and Jay would start asking question so I hid us for as long as I could but about three months ago he kept appearing. Over and Over again the same cold smirk on his face that Slade had when he told me what he would do to our daughter and Joe wants to the same thing Oliver. Joe wants to kill her to hurt you.

When Katya started asking questions I knew what I had to do, I went to Joe willingly hoping that I would be enough but I know I won't be so I set a plan in motion for the letters to get sent to you, for Jay to be sent to Katya. For Jay to bring Katya for you while I stalled Joe enough for you to keep Katya safe. Whatever happens Oliver never let her be alone until his is gone. I don't care what you have to do but please Oliver make it safe for our daughter.

I love you Oliver Queen and I hope that one day I get to tell you that to you face.

Love always

Felicty.

Katya dried her hands on the bath towel just as her phone beeped in her pocked. She fished it out freezing briefly as she remembered the beeping from the computers in the lair. Shaking her head and making a mental note to go straight back to the lair after they were done with breakfast. Katya looked at her phone.

Jane Doe found approximate age 45-50, Starling city general.

Katya looked at the photo.

"Mum." she whispered.

Her feet moved before she could think, her phone fell from her fingers but she didn't care. She ran as if her life depended upon it.

Note: Hey my lovelies I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your reviews. A while ago I mentioned about doing a one-shot connecting series called how it should have been. Which will include all the flashback and much much more and will then change then end of this story, but I got caught up in my exams and finishing Uni but if your still interested let me know because I am now done with exams and looking forward to writing more.